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Posted: July 2, 2018, 2:07 PM
Hi all,
Thank you for the comments. SO TRUE. Also, "People treat us in ways we allow them to". Guess what? I left for 10 days without my phone. I came back to pleas (unanswered, as I had no phone) from a week ago. Guess what? The sky did not fall in, and I learned a valuable lesson. I was able to REALLY see how I was way too involved in 'catching the fall' and stressing and stressing/dipping my toes in the water over & over.... I want to hold onto this lesson. It reinforced everything people have said here. I am going to leave my phone in the car, etc. No more crises! I hated to come back to town and all the drama. So, I am trying to catch a ride back on the drama bus. We really, really need to let them fall. Why? Because we have no choice/we do NO good and effect no change in trying so hard. Peace & big hugs to all | ||
Posts: 521
Joined: August 28, 2016
Posted: July 3, 2018, 10:29 AM
Our son we haven't heard from in almost 6 months called last night and left a message for us to return his call.
After much discussion, I decided I would call him, but I was fully prepared to encounter his usual drama and I was ready to handle it! He was very polite and respectful. He sounded clear and clean. He told us he was restoring used RV's and selling them and was making a living doing it. I said that was good news and since he was very mechanical that would be a good job for him. He did say he had to pick up another RV today and had no way to get it. I did not respond in my usual manner which was to try to explain why we couldn't get it or help him. I simply said, "I am sure you will figure something out". Unlike before, he did not say anything and did not beg or did not get nasty. I was shocked, but stayed calm and collected. I gave no advice and I did not question him about his drug use etc. It was the best talk we have had in years and although it was short, I felt like he was making progress and he knew it was up to him to change his life and make it better without us pleading with him and telling him how to do it! He said goodbye and I love you mom-- This forum has given me advice and tools to use and it works!! Thanks to all! Lori | ||
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: July 3, 2018, 8:09 PM
Hugs to you and your husband, Lori!
I shed a few bitter/sweet tears for you. Sweet because you can forever hold "I love you mom" in your ears. bitter bc you don't know if he was 'phishing' with the familiar RV story. So hard to hold back, but need to - to wait and see what happens. It is good he has mechanical skills. Fixing RV's would be a good niche for him and would probably support him. He just has to get out of his own way! Good Luck! | ||
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Posts: 521
Joined: August 28, 2016
Posted: July 3, 2018, 10:12 PM
NY--
Thanks so much! I hope your son is doing better and getting on track! You are both in my prayers! I am just glad to know my son is alive and at least making an effort to work. I always stay guarded as I have been down the road too many times! I just keep letting go and letting God. Seems like the only way as we have tried everything else possible in this long journey with our Chris. Just maybe we will get our son back before we get much older. Lori | ||
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