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|Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Son Went To Rehab On His Own Yesterday|
|Posted by: Mimi5622 October 27, 2019, 12:00 AM|
|My son sought treatment yesterday all on his own. He will spend a week detoxing and then at least two weeks in rehab. I never thought he would do it. He has been in denial for such a long time. His personal and professional life, as well as his health, has been in a downward spiral for months. He finally faced his addiction after passing out in the bathroom. He woke up bloodied with two black eyes and no memory of what happened. He contacted a treatment center that night and entered treatment in the morning.
I am so proud of him and so hopeful for his future now. But also sad. I know how scared he must have been, and how hard it was for him to finally admit he had an addiction problem and needed help. I have been crying and teary eyed. After such a long time worrying, and stressing and dealing with his irrational behavior, I guess everything has come to a head now. And I am just a bit of an emotional wreck.
|Posted by: NyToFlorida October 27, 2019, 9:19 AM|
|Hi Mimi, Thank you for sharing. That is good news that your son entered treatment on his own. Each time my son goes to rehab/treatment, I do feel like he learns a little more about himself and his addiction. I also think it helps us to know that he can do it and gives us a new boundary. It shows us and him that there is a place to go with people (experts-medical) who have the skills and tools to help him. As we do not have these skills. we are not experts in this field and can not supply the help he needs. It gives us a safety net. The treatment center my son is at also has a men's shelter. Now, if life goes off the rails, I have another tool in my pocket. When he says 'I have no where to go" -- we now know there is a safe place to go.
One thing I have learned from watching YouTube videos is that the ones who have difficulty staying sober on there own, need continued participation in a program that helps them stay sober.
|Posted by: Sallyanna October 27, 2019, 12:22 PM|
|Yes, very good news Mimi. I'm happy your son realizes he needs help to get into recovery. I wish all the best for him and for you!|
|Posted by: Sallyanna October 27, 2019, 12:26 PM|
|NTF you are doing awesome!!! I think your son knows now he has to really do this on his own and you won't bail him out. Sounds like he's in the right place and on the right path now. So are you sister 😊|
|Posted by: Mimi5622 October 27, 2019, 12:35 PM|
|Thank you so, so much for your support. Yes, we are all so sisters in this agony.|
|Posted by: mtnmom October 27, 2019, 8:48 PM|
|Posted by: Parenting2 October 27, 2019, 9:29 PM|
|Great news! How scary to wake up in a bathroom like that! I would be freaking out, too. I'll keep your family in my thoughts. This is a great, positive step!|
|Posted by: Mimi5622 December 30, 2019, 2:52 AM|
|So, I feel like a fool to think my son would actually go through with a full detox and rehab. He left detox on the third day. After leaving detox he was lucid for a couple of days. Since then, his life has been a slow moving train wreck. And I am stressed out. In just two months he is back to his previous crisis level addiction, and is even more abusive and threatening. Recently, I found him on the floor, incoherent, talking to people who weren't there, with his diabetes at a crisis level. I took him to the hospital and he walked out after a few hours without being discharged. And tonight he is in my home, high as a kite, threatening and terrorizing me in front of my granddaughter. He just keeps getting worse. He can't drive anymore, so I have to drive him to his doctor appointments, and wherever else he needs to go. The car is the worst. He sits a few inches away, haranguing me. I put up with all of this to protect my my granddaughter. I hate the sight of him. I have pretty much lost hope that he will ever change.
I dread each day, every phone call, every text. I am a wreck. I know just about everyone on here has been through the same or worse.
There is so much more going on but I am just too tired to even talk about it, because tomorrow will bring more horrors. Thanks for letting me rant. God, addiction is just so soul crushing.
|Posted by: Sallyana December 30, 2019, 5:08 AM|
|Mimi so sorry to hear this. I am concerned about your well being and your granddaughter. It may be time, as hard as it is, to ask him to leave for your protection (emotional and physical) and your granddaughter's protection. She is witnessing all his drama. He had the opportunity for help and he chose not to follow through so there is a consequence to that. Also, he does not have the right to be abusive toward you AT ALL (addiction or not)...so he needs to go act like that somewhere else...not in your home. I know he has diabetes and he's responsible for that too, not you. You can not save him from himself. He's out of control. Sorry this is all happening and please make yourself the priorty.|
|Posted by: Hopeful11 December 30, 2019, 11:03 AM|
|Mimi, thank you for sharing your journey here. I am sorry to hear that you all are going through a very difficult time. I hope you can focus on what it is you and your granddaughter need for your own peace and wellbeing. While I say that, I know it’s easier said than done. Just know you’re not alone. Sending you prayers!|
|Posted by: samegame December 30, 2019, 11:41 AM|
|Sorry to hear that he only lasted 3 days. At least he attempted it. It will probably take several attempts but the first one is done.
This shows what initiative can lead to and how bad an addict must want it. He has control. He might not give a hoot but he has control if he wants it.
Hang in there!
|Posted by: Mimi5622 December 30, 2019, 3:38 PM|
|Thank you everyone for responding. I am finally alone and in some comfy clothes and looking forward to a few days of peace and quiet. Drove son and granddaughter home this morning. My granddaughter will be with her mom for the next few days, so now I can relax for a little while knowing she will be safe. Just had an extremely stressful couple of weeks with my son. I will help him as much as I can, but not at the expense of my sanity and well-being. I decided I can't have him in my house unless he's sober. And going forward I will re-establish boundaries: no threats, no abuse and respect. Otherwise, he's on his own. I just came down with shingles again from all this stress. The situation is just so sad. He can't want to be like he is. No one says they want to be a drug addict and an abusive alcoholic when they grow up. But at some point, he has to take the steps to recovery on his own. I just hope it's sooner rather than later.|
|Posted by: Sallyana December 30, 2019, 8:29 PM|
|Happy you are having some peace right now mimi. I think your plan for establishing clear boundaries with him will help. Keep taking good care and know we understand how awful this is...|