|Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
|Message Board > Recovery Diaries > It All Begun In 7th Grade|
|Posted by: neglect_addiction_ September 28, 2015, 7:06 PM|
| I was the most happiest girl you would meet. I had this amazing personality, beautiful smile, my eyes had a sparkle. I was very known, wasn't a bad thing at first. I defiantly wasn't the smartest, I had a bit of an attitude, but what 13 didn't. I had plenty of friends. I was just an average 13 year old. But that all changed.... the last Friday of school, before spring break, I lost myself, my smile, everything.
I was raped by my friend behind my middle school. He had told me he needed something from the field house and if I wanted to go with him. Of course I said yeah, he's my friend why would he do anything to hurt me? wrong. After everything happened, I told and went through all that.
After I was raped I didn't know how to cope with it. eve never been through anything that made that big of an impact on my life. Growing up I saw my dad drink his pain away, my uncles get high to take pain away. I lost some of my friends and got new ones. But the new ones did drug to cope with the things they were going through. that is when I started to smoke weed. I was using that as my coping skill.
I didn't like smoking at all. so I turned to pills. all types. long as it took my pain away I didn't care what it was. I did pills until summer before freshmen year in high school. I started to use cocaine. at this time I had a job, sad to say it was a daycare. I'm ashamed to say that. but I had money to I could buy it from other people. and all my friends wanted me to start paying for all my stuff. soon all my money was going to pills and cocaine. I guess no one knew I was on drugs. it hurts so think that. did they not see the difference??
well, sophomore year came. it was getting so bad I was sitting in class one day and a friend asked me " what the hell are you on?" I lied and said nothing. I wasn't going to tell him anything. but he knew and told me I needed help. at that point I wasn't getting high to cover the pain of being raped, I was also covering the pain I had from how my mom treated me and all kinds of things. at this point in time I had so much going on. nothing positive ever happened, until school started.
I met my English teacher, and a lot changed. she made a very big impact on my life. she never knew she helped me. she made me happy, made me feel like I was wanted. she was there when I had no one to talk to. but I never told her I was doing drugs. I slowly stopped because she believed in me. she told me all the time. she was put in my life for a reason.
things go worse at home so I started popping pills all day at school. I stayed high. my mom got a job once she divorced my step dad and was never home on weekends pretty much. so I had sooooooo much time to do whatever. I started having my dealers come to the house and bring me all my stuff and beer and whatnot. anything to get rid of all my pain.
the summer came, and I sobered up a lot because I was working so much. my job was my coping skill at this point. I still got high on weekends but at least it wasn't all day everyday, right? I was doing good I was proud of my self. but I knew the summer would be over soon. I was right, it was over.
I'm 17 and in 11th grade now. I didn't even make it 4 weeks in school before I was suspended for being high. yep, I was caught this time.