Help.vicks Inhalers?
Posted: August 23, 2006, 11:37 PM


Posts: 64
Joined: August 1, 2005



Hey everyone,
Something new has turned up in my daughters purse and I am freaking out.
She is dating a new guy, he does drugs so she is relapsing, even admits it, but says she has things under control. (Yeah, right, as if things only really worked that way.)
Anyway, I found an empty coke baggie, and an empty vicks inhaler little white tub in her purse. Then I saw 3 walmart receipts so I looked at them and she had bought 4 inhalers, all within hours of each other...what is going on? Does anyone know what they are doing with the little inhaler things? It's the kind that is about 2 inches long, has little holes in the tip and you are supposed to just put it in your nose and there should be a menthol stick in there..of course, the one I found was empty, but the container was still intact.
ANY IDEAS?
  Top
Posted: August 23, 2006, 11:50 PM


Posts: 3423
Joined: December 31, 2004



I know my BF said he use to drain the bottles and mix up speed in a water-based solution and sniff it at work so his co-workers didn't know he was doing meth.there..he'd then go home and smoke it...I didn't know him then, but this is a story he relayed to me...he has been clean almost 4 years now...and he was hardcore just like me, so there is hope! Best of luck with your daughter, I know first-hand how scary this can be....it wasn't for me when I was active in my addiction, I didn't know the pain and worry I caused others, not to mention the stress - it is a selfish disease, and I'm on the other side of it right now... I believe my daughter is showing signs of the "ism"....best of luck to you and your family.

--------------------
Peace & Serenity, VWGirl
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 12:02 AM


Posts: 64
Joined: August 1, 2005



VW...thank you for posting back.
I too have heard of people putting it in AFRIN nose bottles ect...but this is not that.
This looks like the tip of a tampon...or a chapstick thing.
There are holes in the top.... so liquid would pour out all over the place.
Some thing is going on, but I dont know what...
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 12:14 AM


Posts: 3423
Joined: December 31, 2004



Oh, sorry about that...I thought you meant the spray inhalers...I know what you are talking about now, did you try to "Google" it?

--------------------
Peace & Serenity, VWGirl
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 12:23 AM


Posts: 1230
Joined: May 22, 2005



Maybe she keeps her coke in it and that way she can have a snort without anyone being any the wiser.
Karen

--------------------
BEWARE THE HIGH COST OF LOW LIVING
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 12:27 AM


Posts: 3423
Joined: December 31, 2004



Deedy, I found this on a website:

"To heighten the sensitivity to ecstasy, users will use Vicks in an inhaler tube or by coating the inside of a particle mask, which they then breathe deeply to "enhance" the high".

Try doing a Google search, it will provide you a lot of information.

--------------------
Peace & Serenity, VWGirl
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 1:33 AM


Posts: 1794
Joined: November 23, 2005



Not to be curt but does it really matter how she is ingesting the drugs? Or is the main issue the fact that she is using or that you think she may be?

Perhaps now is the time for a frank discussion on the dangers of drugs with your daughter?

God bless.


--------------------
Wolf
Parts Of My Story Can Be Read At:
http://www.wastednetwork.com/wn_for...display.php?f=7
    Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 10:17 AM


Posts: 64
Joined: August 1, 2005



I will goggle it...thanks VW and everyone.
and WOLF...she has been in rehab, attended NA, had a sponsor, has lost a step sister to drugs as well as my brother, her uncle who died from drugs...
We talk frankly all the time and she admits to the coke and alcohol use, told me about a guy offering ecstasy ect...YET, she continues.

I will not give up on her though, I will not sit back and eventually bury my daughter. My way may lead to a funeral too, but at least I can look in the mirror knowing that I fought for her till the end.
I am trying to learn what she is into now, so that when I approach her about the inhalers I will know what I am dealing with and she will not just laugh at me.
PLUS...I saved the walmart receipts I found in her purse and can go to the boyfriends parents with FACTS and maybe together we can do something.
I am here trying to learn, and to all that understand--I appreciate you greatly.

  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 11:21 AM


Posts: 1350
Joined: June 3, 2005



posted by Deedy

QUOTE


I will not give up on her though, I will not sit back and eventually bury my daughter.


Who is doing this recovery? You or her? Guess what, it shouldn't be you...
You will not save her, no matter what you might think. If you want to continue playing detective, and if my memory serves you right, watch her every waking moment or use some other form of surveillance technique, go right ahead. But, its for you, not her. These actions are to make you feel better Of course one doesn't want to lose someone to addiction, but it really, really is NOT in your control. That is just a fact.

and this....

QUOTE

My way may lead to a funeral too, but at least I can look in the mirror knowing that I fought for her till the end.


And what is that implying about others who don't follow this? Are they "giving up" on their loved ones? And take this from a recovering addict, those who "give up" are doing something I oh, so respect. Taking care of themselves after so much pain....

I wish you luck on a course that reminds me of a novel by Miguel Cervantes involving a certain, chivalric, knight.....

This post has been edited by ElimGarak on August 24, 2006, 11:47 AM

--------------------
Dr. Bashir: So of all your stories, which ones were true and which ones were lies?

Elim Garak: My dear doctor they were all true.

Dr. Bashir: Even the lies?

Elim Garak: Especially the lies......
  Top
curious
Posted: August 24, 2006, 1:21 PM







I know how you feel, I spent or sometimes still do it, snooping, digging, trying to find something that gives me real proof that he is doing cocaine. But you know I already know what he is doing, it just drives me crazy he is doing it right under my nose and I can't catch him or ever find the actual drugs!!! I have found though that sometimes what we find hurts worse than just thinking we know everything.
Lastnight my husband came home, his bank account is in the hole, he is always tired after a long day on the road, he is like bouncing off the walls. I am doing chores, which are heavy chores he looks at me and comes in and sets on the computer. I was so furious, but he acted stupid all night. At one point I said what in the heck is up with you? he laughed and said I am probably on drugs- a big slam to me, but you know what he was. His nose is red, like he is going out for the role of rudolph, he is all congestided, and I am stupid. He is never like that when he stays home for a day or two only when he is out of town, he is getting a cold from sleeping under the ceiling fan, I am 46 years old, and don't think I am that dumb. He uses nose spray all the time, when I question him he says he always has, that is a lie. Lies, Lies and more Lies-
I have spent months reading on this board and I know even if I catch him in the act, he will deny it, I made it up- He is the fool trying to fool the fool.
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 1:43 PM


Posts: 1794
Joined: November 23, 2005



I can not imagine the difficulties or the pain you face with a daughter that is using drugs. All I can share with you is what my parents did while I was in active addiction.

They too struggled with the concept of kicking me out and allowing me to hit bottom. However the simple fact was that all they accomplished while they were trying to control my using or make me stop was to enable me and allow me to continue my destructive ways.

It was not until they cut all ties with me until I was ready to actually do the work myself and allowed me to find my personal bottom did the realization that I could not continue on.

I truly hope that you find the answer that works for you and that you understand I do not want to appear as if I think I have all of the answers, luckily I can consider myself not guilty of that kind of hubris.

God bless.

--------------------
Wolf
Parts Of My Story Can Be Read At:
http://www.wastednetwork.com/wn_for...display.php?f=7
    Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 1:54 PM


Posts: 1350
Joined: June 3, 2005



posted by Wolf

QUOTE

I truly hope that you find the answer that works for you and that you understand I do not want to appear as if I think I have all of the answers, luckily I can consider myself not guilty of that kind of hubris.


The only answer I can give is that, as it appears to me, they are powerless. Whether they think they are is another question. I may not know what works, but given what she has herself described, I can seen what is NOT working.

--------------------
Dr. Bashir: So of all your stories, which ones were true and which ones were lies?

Elim Garak: My dear doctor they were all true.

Dr. Bashir: Even the lies?

Elim Garak: Especially the lies......
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 7:39 PM


Posts: 64
Joined: August 1, 2005



Man, I am only looking for answers as well as venting.
To Elm---I mean no harm to ANYONE, I admire all the people on this priceless board.
I admire the strength it takes to let go of your loved ones that are in active addiction ect...
Everyone has to do what is best for THEM.
I just don't know how to let go, this is my way...maybe one day I will learn.
I don't give her money, I guard my purse when she is around ect...but I do still spend time with her, we go to lunch and go for walks and have long heart to heart talks.
The talks leave me terrified, she is so honest, I try not to appear shocked that is why I come here for answers--with her I try to simply listen so she wont say I am B@tching.
Please don't attack me, I am only venting what is in my heart. I hate myself enough without any help from you ELIM.
I hate that I love her so much, I hate that I can't just cut her out of my life...I HATE IT.
She is my only child, she has been the ONLY constant in my life, I had never been loved or needed untill I gave birth to her...I am fighting the fight of my life as I am addicted to loving my child.

ANYWAY...thank you all for the info.


This post has been edited by Deedy on August 24, 2006, 7:53 PM
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 8:00 PM


Posts: 14839
Joined: June 21, 2005



Deedy, in my experience Vicks Inhalers go hand in hand with the use of Ecstasy...they are supposed to increase your high...people blow them in your face, especially the eyes...

--------------------
Somedays it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.

  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 8:49 PM


Posts: 1584
Joined: November 6, 2005



Deedy, HI! I also have one child, a son. He is 22 and I know your pain. Trust me when I tell you this.
I attend alanon and it has helped me a lot. It has helped me come to grips with the fact the you can literally love your child to "death". I don't know if you really get it that if you don't let go, then your chances of losing her are greater. SHE has the BEST chance if she is allowed to feel the consequences of her use. Maybe if you were able to put really strong boundaries down and take care of yourself and not OBSESS over her, then you would see that clearly.
Going to alanon has helped me get in touch with my HP and be able to trust HIM enough to let my son go. Is it hard, absolutely, but it is right. What you are doing, if I may be so candid, is sick. You are sick because of being enmeshed with her. YOU can't heal her but her HP can if you LET him.

Please read on....
Let Go and Let God
As children bring their broken toys with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God, because he was my friend,
But then instead of leaving him in peace to work alone, I hung around and tried to help with ways that were not my own. At last I snatched them back and cried, "How can you be so slow" "MY child," he said.
"What could I do, you ever did let go".
If you really love her....you'll trust the process and get out of God's way....
God bless you Deedy. I know you love her...

--------------------
All things are possible through God.
Ask and you shall receive
Seek and you shall find
Knock and the door shall be opened unto you

When you pray, you activate God's power.
Every time you pray something happens!
The faithless are like an empty vessel and are more vulnerable to events that are out of their control.
Pray at stop lights.
Without faith it is impossible to please Him.
When you pray, pray for His will.
God is Good............all the time!!!!!
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 8:52 PM


Posts: 2378
Joined: December 30, 2005



Deedy

Elim is not attacking you. There is nothing wrong with loving your daughter or going to luch or talking with her. The issue is obsessing over if something is used during drug use. That is what you have to let go. You don't let go of hope or love you let go of your attempts to control and cure.

--------------------
You can get busy living. Or get busy dying.

I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others.
Jennifer Louden

There are no excuses, just people with excuses.


LINK: Posts about understanding and healing.


A fool learns from his mistakes. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others. However, a brilliant man learns from what has been done right, and what others have done right, and avoids mistakes.
  Top
Posted: August 24, 2006, 11:29 PM


Posts: 64
Joined: August 1, 2005



Thank you bumpsnomore for the info on the inhalers...I appreciate it.

To Hurt dad and Gail...Thank you very much as well. We let go of our oldest daughter, (she was my step daughter) now she is dead. She lived 300 miles from here and rarely saw her, actually we only saw her at Christmas for over 4 years. She spent 2 of those years in Jail and we didn't even visit.
She died Drunk,high on coke and Xanax in a car accident,she was thrown from the car... she was 29 years old.
Then my brother, (whom no one tried to save, we had written him off to the drug world many years ago) died the following year the exact same way except that he did have his seatbelt on so he burned to death in the flipped truck.. he was 44.
Letting go hasnt worked well in my family.
I am driving myself crazy....I will keep praying, and hopefully things will get better.
Good luck to all of you----you are the bravest people. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!



This post has been edited by Deedy on August 24, 2006, 11:37 PM
  Top
Posted: August 25, 2006, 8:04 AM


Posts: 1584
Joined: November 6, 2005



Deedy, wow, that's tough. I understand why you feel this way. Fear is a strong emotion. What was told to me at a meeting...breathe in faith and breathe out fear. Fear will paralyze you.
Also...Fear knocked, faith entered and no one was there. I would pray with all my heart...and then yes, let go. I even went to a faith healer and had intercession prayer for him and this fall I got him to go to this faith healer and he even layed on his stomach on the floor in front of the congregation at the healer's request. My friend said, "You've got to know he's going to be ok".
Remember, without faith it is impossible to please Him. May you find serenity Deedy. God bless.

--------------------
All things are possible through God.
Ask and you shall receive
Seek and you shall find
Knock and the door shall be opened unto you

When you pray, you activate God's power.
Every time you pray something happens!
The faithless are like an empty vessel and are more vulnerable to events that are out of their control.
Pray at stop lights.
Without faith it is impossible to please Him.
When you pray, pray for His will.
God is Good............all the time!!!!!
  Top
Posted: August 25, 2006, 9:48 AM


Posts: 1350
Joined: June 3, 2005



Deedy

I reflected on what I stated, and I do stand by it. But I would also like to add, I do NOT think you are killing her. She is doing that to herself. Of course it is torture to watch them kill themselves, a very special, very nasty kind of torture and as far as I am concerned, worse torture than what the addict puts themselves through.

I am only trying to elucidate that sad truth that this will be their call, and it is as inexorable as the law of gravity. Not to make you feel bad (or make me feel all knowing and wise), but to show what has been my experience. As a recovering addict. I cannot project what I am thinking to all addicts, but, in talking with my AA buddies, alot of them did think the same way, so I know I am not unique here.

Thank you for elucidating more on what your family history was, it helps me understand why you are trying this. I, myself, need to learn more compassion, less self absorption, and you are helping me to do that. I now see where that incredible desperation is coming from. Because what you are doing is something only seen in an incredible desperate person.

In fact, I see nothing but torture here, your daughter self destructing and watching your frantic efforts in some attempt to save her. All I will be able to do here is hope that clarity comes out, not just for you, but her.

That she will be able to see that she is killing herself and more importantly, that she cares that she might be killing herself.

If it seems like I was attacking you, I do apologize, not my intention in a million years. I just hope that somehow, in some way, you get some relief.

--------------------
Dr. Bashir: So of all your stories, which ones were true and which ones were lies?

Elim Garak: My dear doctor they were all true.

Dr. Bashir: Even the lies?

Elim Garak: Especially the lies......
  Top
Posted: August 25, 2006, 10:39 AM


Posts: 46
Joined: August 22, 2006



Hi Deedy, so very sorry to hear about all your tragic experiences. I believe knowledge is power & don't see anything wrong with you're inhaler inquiry.

I'm scared as hell right now cause my 20 yr old daughter is out there struggling to find herself. I kicked her out. My gut feeling is that she needs to grow up & experience the hardships of life for herself rather than letting her parents catch her when she falls.

I think there is a happy middle ground to cutting them off completely & enabling. I"m not buying into the theory that we are all the same. I believe that the situation is more delicate with young children as they don't have the life experiences that we older folks have.

My views differ from what is deemed the only way to treat an addict that has been mentioned above.

If my daughter chooses suicide due to being overwhelmed by what has just happened I will be devastated for life.

I am remaining very open minded and am trusting my gut feeling as to what is best for my daughter. Right or wrong, I will not be closeminded & go by the book even though it is highly recommended by many folks with much more knowledge & experience.

I take what works for me from this good board, not what the popular consensus dictates.

I say trust your best instincts as to what is best for you deedy

my apologies to this good board for being a nonconformist. I mean no disrespect
  top of page  Top