How Far Should I Search
Posted: August 24, 2016, 9:51 AM

Posts: 1
Joined: August 24, 2016

My 32 year old son is a heroin / meth addict. Haven't heard from him in months. Before that it was years. Don't really worry about him. Don't think of him too often. I know he's been in and out of jail in Colorado since last year. I wonder if I should get his arrest reports, mug shots, etc. just to keep tabs on him and find out what he's been up to? Or just let it go. It's only way of knowing what's going on with him. Would I just be setting myself up for worry?
Posted: August 24, 2016, 7:02 PM

Posts: 304
Joined: August 3, 2016

I don't know the answer. I'm sorry ! I know you hurt. We can act like it doesn't hurt but it's our kids. I understand detaching but keep the faith. God has a plan.
Keeping you in my prayers
Posted: August 25, 2016, 6:57 AM

Posts: 635
Joined: April 4, 2016

I'm so sorry for your situation. Haven't heard in months? Haven't heard from him in years? Wow. . you are one strong person. The poster child for detachment. How did you do it before?

I haven't had those experiences yet. My daughter hasn't gone more than a week or 10 days without touching base with me, my hubby or my dad. Those are the longest days of my life. I gain some comfort from the fact that if there was an emergency, her bf (who she is now living with again) would call me, as he has done in the past. I don't have an address to where they are living; all I know is that it is in Southern FL. She just dropped out of a 45 day inpatient program where she didn't have her cell at all; I couldn't call her at all; and, she could only call on certain days. It took almost 2 of the 3 or 4 weeks she was there to get used to not being able to call/text/FB her whenever I wanted. It took even longer not to feel hurt or down when she didn't call me on her allotted days.

I can't give you an answer. Me?. . .Personally?. . .I like knowing. I like information and facts. This would soothe and comfort me. So, yes, I'd do some free google searches. I wouldn't pay a dime for getting this intelligence. But now the question becomes what are you going to do with the info? He clearly doesn't want to be "found" or in contact. So, if you just are curious and won't act on info you may find and, most importantly it will make you feel better, go ahead. . .have at it. If, however, there is the slightest bit of chance that doing this will effect your equilibrium or your sanity, or you would feel the urge to rescue him, then don't go down this path. . .ignorance is bliss. . .stay in the dark and just pray for him.

I'm praying for you,


I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun.

I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair.

But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more.

In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved
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