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"happier" Holidays


Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018


Posted: December 21, 2019, 11:26 AM
I am posting a follow up similar to NewYorktoFlorida: I was in the same situation with my 45 year old son. Active addition relapse, only he did not live with us & we were in a different state. We knew he was using again, but lived with a girl friend so he was able to stay away from us & he thought he was hiding his addiction. But when the girl friend broke up & kicked him out, he spun into a new level of psychotic desperation & addiction that we had never seen. Soon my husband, my other two sons & two daughter in laws, I and even my grandchildren were receiving 100's of text messages. He was in & out of jail. Our family stayed strong & we all communicated with each telling each other what he was saying, promising, threatening, etc.

The brothers, SIL's & kids blocked his number, we blocked his number & would only respond "We cannot help you, only you can do that but we will support you in any efforts you make to get well". He HATED that, would curse us & threaten us. Then was in & out of jail, violating court orders to stay away from GF. He was released in July, moved into a sober living house. Things started looking up.

He is now employed & has moved out of his "trigger" area (with GF & druggie friends). He's starting over but he is happy. We are VERY cautiously happy & still on high anxiety. If we don't hear from him for a couple of days we think the worst. We still don't trust him - too soon. But my mother's instinct tells me he is trying but my logic tells me that one bad trigger could spark another relapse.

So for all you parents & partners who feel like you are spinning into the deepest abyss of despair - you have to stay strong & say no (and my husband still cannot do this). This group has given me strength & hope knowing I'm not alone. The people here are beyond helpful with advice & wisdom.

Happier Holidays my friends - you all are amazing & I love you


Posts: 209
Joined: November 10, 2019


Posted: December 21, 2019, 11:32 AM
Same to you mtnmom you are amazing!!! You have been on a journey too and have come a long way. I hope your son continues to do well. Wishing you much joy and happiness in the New Year!!


Posts: 264
Joined: December 21, 2018


Posted: December 22, 2019, 9:38 AM
Glad to see some progress mtnmom. You are right to be cautiously optimistic.

BUT getting out of his old environment and away from his gf and old friends is a HUGE step. It is the peer group that frequently fuels the addict. Many peers co addicts/alkies are like little kids. They always want someone to comeout and play because it validates their behavior.

You are right he seems to be trying. Hoping for the best.
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