Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > 40 Yr Old Son Is Going To Put Me In My Grave


Posted by: exhaustedmother99 March 20, 2017, 4:31 AM
I am a 63 year old widow and the only thing my deceased husband left me was a heroine addicted son. I have been enabling this a****** for 20 years. He has lived with me almost the whole time. My husband died and addict and alcoholic and influenced my son to do the same as him.

I have been living with drug and alcohol problems since I was 18 yr old. I thought when my husband died it would all end and I could live a calm and normal life.

WRONG!

My son felt it necessary to live with me after my husband died. but to be frank, it was a relief when he passed and now I am just taking care of another a****** drug addict.

When my son shoots up heroine he turns into a raving mad man. Claps his hands, rolls on the floor, moans loudly and tears up and destroys anything in his path.

When husband died had to sell house and move into a trailer. It was a very nice trailer until my son moved in. He has destroyed my second bathroom, my 2 extra bedrooms, the den and my back deck. Completely destroyed them, ripped things off all the walls, punch huge holes in all the walls, totally destroyed all the carpet in those areas, broke the mirrors, light fixtures.

I have had 3 legal complaints from the neighbors and now waiting for an eviction notice. I hope i can talk them out of it. I am going to get a restraining order on him and he will never be able to return to my home again. I just hope i am not too late.

He shot up again tonight and is in all his FRIGGING glory. Won't be able to get any sleep tonight AGAIN!

Posted by: constantine March 20, 2017, 6:06 AM
Exhausted. . Please post this over on the family board...but...as a heroin addict myself...I'm wondering at his behaviors. ..it doesn't sound like dope...??..more like meth...??

Posted by: Bonnie5 March 20, 2017, 7:03 AM
i would say your son is on meth or some other nasty substance but not heroin at least its not heroin that makes him crazy and puts him in destroyer mood. Usually heroin calms down person not opposite. Anyhow i cant see other option but him moving out asap or you moving away without leaving forward adress , way you live now its complete madness and I wonder how did you menage to stay sane ?

Posted by: Mandm March 20, 2017, 1:04 PM
Hi Exhausted, God help you! What a nightmare you've been living. Please get a restraining order and get him to hell out of your life! I think there's an organization called "Agency for the Aging" that might help you with this. No harm in checking it out. They might help you get your trailer fixed up too where he has destroyed it. I feel so bad for you. But stick with your decision and get rid of him out of your house. I hope you can get a chance at a fresh start in life again. We all deserve some peace in our lives and by the sounds of it you've earned yours and more. Stay in touch!! Good luck and take care. Mary 🌸

Posted by: BugginMe March 21, 2017, 7:08 PM
It sounds like your son is using meth to me. They stay up all night, get moody and mean, destroy things, etc. Does your son ever get paranoid .. peeking out windows and doing other strange things? My son, not much younger than yours, has drained the life and happiness right out of me so I know how you feel. We have been on this merry go round for years until I started detaching from his troubles. It became a matter of survival for me. I could not help him and I was one step away from something major happening to me. I finally realized that I had to take care of myself because he would never stop taking as long as I was giving. It is sad and not easy to do but it is important to do what is right for you. They make their choices and we can't change them but we can change our lives for the better.

Posted by: Mandy5991 April 9, 2017, 1:51 PM
I'm sorry to hear you have to go through all of this. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I know it's going to be extremely hard, but in order for your son to get better you need to give him an ultimatum. Either he gets help (inpatient rehab) or he cannot live with you anymore. You are not a bad person for doing this, it is out of love. Addicts either recover, end up in jail or die. I am a recovering heroin addict. We are masters at manipulating lying and hiding. If you are not strict and stand your ground he will walk all over you and you will be enabling him without even realizing. Even if you have to call the cops on him, it sounds harsh, but at least he won't be using in there and in a way 'safe' from himself. He most likely won't stop until he reaches rock bottom. He needs a wake up call. Stand your ground, give him an ultimatum, and follow through with it! You can't stand by and watch him destroy himself. Tell him you love him and you can't watch him destroy himself any longer. I wish you the best of luck. I hope everything works out. Stay strong!

Also, like others were saying, what you were describing doesn't sound like heroin. Heroin is a downer, it sounds like your son is on some kind of stimulant (possibly meth). But regardless of the drug you need to put yourself first. Kick him out, change your locks, pack his stuff up get a restraining order. For his sake and especially YOURS!