1 Year Weed Clean - My Life Will Never Be The Same
Posted: October 16, 2014, 2:34 PM

An avid smoker since I was 18...I hate I've wasted so much of my life wake n baking..I'm 43 now..and God has repeatedly tried to get my attention to the fact that I've been wasting my life,when I have sooo much experience to share.. weed kills motivation...I could dream all day about what I could do to help others...but as Katt Williams said...f*** it. I thank God for not giving up on me...as I now have the desire to improve myself...and no desire to smoke at this time.
Posted: October 16, 2014, 8:07 PM

Reading the posts in this forum have been so helpful to me, thank you all for sharing.

I thought that my weed smoking, even though I knew it was "too much," would be easy to quit as everyone in my life maintains that it isn't addictive. When I finally decided to quit around ten weeks ago, I was amazed at how instantly terrible I felt. I can barely sleep at all (maybe 2-3 hours a night since quitting, if I'm being optimistic). I feel depressed on a scale I've never felt before (suicidal at times). Basically, I just feel so guilty about the years and money I've wasted getting stoned, and how without realizing it marijuana has diverted me from this great path I was sure I'd be on by now at 24.
Knowing other people feel guilty and depressed, knowing other people can't sleep, knowing that the symptoms of withdraw from heavy cannabis use are real, affect other people, and can last for a long time - I don't know if I can accurately convey how much reading the experiences you all have posted have made me feel less alone. I felt so isolated in my experiences until finding this forum. I now know other people are going through the same or similar things as I am in the quest of living weed-free.

Thank you all for sharing, so much. I'm sending you all positive vibes to stay sober. Wishing "good luck" seems cheap, as I know it isn't luck but hard work that will help us attain the sober stable lives we deserve.

Much love. <3
Posted: October 16, 2014, 9:39 PM

Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011

It was when I met at the meetings with the other addict/alcoholics that recovery began.

I strongly suggest you look NA (Narcotics Anonymous) up in your phone book or on-line and get in touch with them. Go to their "open meetings" where the public is invited and speakers tell their stories. You will hear your story told repeatedly.

When I committed to AA/NA in 1989 my life changed for the better and continues to improve today.

All the best.

Bob R

Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf

Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf



--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.

...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.

--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !

---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.

---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.

... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.

---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .

"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr

WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
Posted: October 17, 2014, 6:54 PM

Hi Ben, just randomly came across this and I really hope that you no longer feel like this. I'm not sure if you will see this as your post was so long ago but I want to tell you that the thing that helped me when quitting after smoking daily for 15 years was meditation and sleep hypnosis, I really don't think that I could have quit without them. Just look on YouTube, listening to sleep hypnosis before sleeping at night not only helps me to get to sleep ( I could never sleep without a smoke) but it also boosts my mood the next day and I wake up feeling happy and positive where I used to wake up and wish I never had. It's really amazing, I didn't think it would have the effect on me that is has, if anything at all. It was the slow, deep breathing in and out that really helped my anxiety when I first quit, at first it didn't help but I stuck with it and now I feel like a different person. Also, exercise and yoga will really help you to feel happier and more confident. Take care and good luck.
Posted: October 19, 2014, 1:43 PM

Posts: 474
Joined: February 24, 2013

Sleep problems were the worst thing I encountered after quitting smoking. Whether it's meditation, exercise, or some other health routine, I believe to quit effectively you have to do something other than just quit. You need to become committed to something positive each day or the tendency to revert back to old habits will be more likely.
Posted: October 20, 2014, 9:56 PM

Day 50 jus got hit with insomnia lastnite couldn't sleep just want to say really is that everything gets better jus have to hang in there you might feel down at 1st but as time goes on you will see the light. Im feeling better but still get slightly panic attacks and a loss of energy but feel 70% ok we all have to stick it out and be strong as each other motivation i've read other posts and read as my motivation and hearing all of your posts is helpful. So hang in there and stick it out for the best of ourselves and god bless all of you on your recovery.
Posted: October 22, 2014, 9:00 AM

Hi Ben, your initial description was just soooo me.
Posted: October 22, 2014, 9:09 AM

In fact, quite scarily me. You put it so elequently, it makes me wonder if you are real, or a councellor depicting the realism I use to be a high income earner with bulk status, but now I am a tiny being, greatly frightened of all outcomes. Thank you immensely for your description of me. Makes me feel less alone.
Posted: October 24, 2014, 1:30 PM

I started smoking when I was 16 and am now 31. I am now 26 days without thc. Now that my brain is coming back online I am struggling with all of the emotional pain and issues that I originally used thc to numb. I'm having a lot of anxiety. I attained a masters degree in psychology and was on track to become a marriage family therapist. I took the last year off to plan my wedding and get married; also moved to a new city. Now I'm looking at all my colleagues progressing in their careers and I'm totally stuck feeling unsure of how to proceed or progress at this point. I feel like the last 16 years were a partial farce as I thought I had dealt with many of my issues, but now that I am completely thc free I'm feeling regressed emotionally to that 16 year old girl. It really sickens, angers and depresses me to feel I've set myself back so much in life.

On the brighter side, I'm feeling much more clarity of mind at this point and am very hopeful that things can only get better from here on out as long as I stay away from the MaryJane. I think we could all do with practicing self love, self compassion and empathy as most of us who become addicted to any drug have usually been through some kind of trauma. I really hope I can pull myself out of this rut I'm feeling in now...
Posted: October 29, 2014, 10:46 PM

Posts: 39
Joined: October 29, 2014

hi Newlife!

i'm happy for what you attain so far :)

just like anybody else here, your stories of success will be an inspiration for me, and for others as well. keep it up!
Posted: October 30, 2014, 2:30 AM

I'm also thinking of quitting. I only started smoking weed after a knee injury in rugby when I was 16. Seems like I smoked weed cause I knew my knee wouldn't be safe to play sports again. Nostalgia of life before I smoked(don't get me wrong, I've had countless memories of burning and the friends I made doing so) is conststantly on my mind cause im pretty sure I'm depressed..don't feel right in my own skin, also paranoia in public, and sometimes(gotten a lot better) dull in conversations. I also feel like weed made me lazy and just unmotivated. I don't really do anything except wake up eat shower work gym eat blaze (party on the weekends) and attempt sleeping.that's another thing. Trouble sleeping is definitely a factor to my laziness and possibly depression. Back to being lazy yeah I don't really do anything to progress my life, getting a better job, going outside in the day and doing stuff

Hopefully me quitting will eventually erase all of this s*** Im dealing with so I can live a happier life good luck to everyone
Posted: November 1, 2014, 6:09 AM

"Sometimes in life, it's important to stop our pursuit of happiness. To just be happy."

The dude who stopped smoking pot but still smokes cigarettes and drinks alcohol made me lol.
Posted: November 3, 2014, 11:37 AM

Posts: 474
Joined: February 24, 2013

When talking about pot it helps to be honest about the short term benefits such as calming anxiety, and helping us sleep. But these are short term benefits. If we only smoke a small amount, we dont suffer the long term problems that occur when the brain chemistry gets all out of whack. Those of us who have smoked for a long extended time know all about insomnia, panic attacks, and depression when we finally quit after long term use.

It's the same with any drug. I have a relative trying to get off a doctor's prescription to oxy that she has had for almost 4 years. She quits...gets very irritable, cant sleep, is depressed with no energy.....then after a few days of this she goes back on the oxy. What's ironic is she believes marijuana to be evil and that it will be responsible for the fall of civilization as we know it.

We like to point to drugs as a major problem in our society....I agree. But we really have some bad arguments masquerading as laws in this country that have nothing to do with facts. Drugs that kill should be the worst. Oxy kills more than all illegal drugs combined.

Why bring this up? Because inconsistency, and the denial of simple truths matter to the people who end up smoking pot. No one likes labels, and no one likes to be condemned for something that is less harmful than the legal alternatives. Bad arguments produce stubborness, and stubborness and addiction go hand in hand. In countries where it is allowed (Denmark, Spain) they have found use for the 18-21 yo group go DOWN - not up. It seems that once the 'taboo' of being illegal is gone, pot seems to lose some of its luster.

Being forced to accept bad or false arguments for the 'greater good' can make people more likely to resist changing their bad behavior. Bad laws encourage rebellion. So does inconsistency with the truth. Maybe one day we will put the bluff and bluster aside and develop consistent laws that can actually HELP people - and not just punish them for disagreeing.
Posted: November 20, 2014, 5:43 PM

Hey. Hello.
Is anybody here that I can talk?
I'm Joao ( John in English ) I'm from Portugal and yes I'm not Okay at all. I'm 18 years old , I smoked hax a lot since my 14/15 years. I smoked about 2/3/4 kilos. More than 1500 euros on that sh*t for sure. Smoked with my friends in the first years. But then I started to get addicted of the flavour and getting high. Since that I never be the same again. I started to live high. I consider myself an intelligent person. And I don't dislike me. I know I'm capable of very things and thank god for I can still think.
I've read your posts and yes I have tha same feelings. I feel like I never be the same person when child. When I had my really happy life without smoke at first school with my friends. Since I smoke , nothing was the same. I'm stupid , I think a lot , when I had school feel like everyone looking to me. But I don't smoke for a few weeks and I know control myself. I know why I stop smoking , I'm missing something , I lose everything I gain when I grow up when child and that's where the problem is. We lose our childness' the child on us. Really, I want to believe that I can be the same joao that people like , but I feel like I've changed. I'm very philosophy now. ( I don't like ,I guess) I'm not sure of nothing. I am lost at all. F*ck. That is bad. I don't know if happens to everybody who smoke. For now , I'm doing what a like, skateboarding , staying with friends and talking , working every day. I hope this pass. I'm cool sometimes but others I just want to change the pass (almost , cause if not , I don't knew what I know today) I think this could be worst. But now I'm happy for don't smoke and not killing myself and my brain. Ty everyone , I'm here for who want a word or who want to talk a little.. Waiting news Byebye
Posted: November 21, 2014, 9:22 AM

Hi Ben I smoked cannabis daily for 23 years and I've been clean since July this year so here's what I'm feeling after 4 months away from it..riCher, healthier, cleaner, kinder, energetic, sociable and best of all happy. I have no dirty secret I buy nice things now to treat myself not drugs. I'm not surrounded by that smell that everyone knows is cannsbis. I've joined a gym I swim I do boxing I go for long walks I have pamper myself days..Ben the list is endless I see it as I was stupid for awhile and I saw senow.
Posted: November 22, 2014, 11:30 AM

Hie !!! I have been smoking weed from last 3 years since my college days !!! Not regularly...but once a week...I am tryng to quit smoking...suggest some ways to help me !!! Nd how you all guys are doing after leaving weed??? Plus I also want to quit smoking cigarettes... Somebody give me some suggestions please..on how to quit...my email Id is saahil1292@gmail.com !! Thank you...let's struggle together !!
Posted: November 22, 2014, 5:23 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: November 22, 2014

Hey Ben,
I was touched by your story. It's bern two years now since you posted this and I wonder how you're doing. I came across your post when I google brain damage. I quit smoking weed well over a year ago and I think it has affected my brain as I get forgetful. I haven't smoked it since and quit the ciggies too up until a couple of years ago. My brain can't handle it though but now I'm struggling again to quit. Every evening I say I'll start again tomorrow and tomorrow comes and I'm smoking again! I keep it a secret from everyone one as well! It's tough!
Posted: November 22, 2014, 5:26 PM

Posts: 2
Joined: November 22, 2014

Oh, I forgot to say that before I quit the weed I was getting electric shocks in my brain. Or that's how it felt like. It frightened the hell out of me. Now I get really funny feelings in my head when I smoke and don't sleep well! I'm scared of getting a stroke!
Posted: November 25, 2014, 8:01 PM

Hey my names daniel (coley) and iv smoked since I was around 13 and now I'm 24 in 3 days :/ I get many symptoms like iv read from everyone's story, and I plan on stopping and starting to read! I really want to say all these posts have really touched me! I to thought I was having these situations alone and my friends (heavey smokers) were just lucky or pretending there ok, but there seriously now alot more intelligent than me and most things :(.
So I think it's time I take the steps you guys have and be a man and take control of my life and become what I really want! And not be what j am now! Seriously massive respects to you Ben and every1 else that has shared there life on here! It's will be helping many young people! Respect to you all! I extremely hope for the best of everyone! I'm really glad I came across this post! f*** I wish I could describe how much I wish you all the very best!
Posted: November 27, 2014, 1:14 AM

first off, thanks for sharing your story Ben

your story was the first one i read when i decided to quit and it inspired me maybe cause my name is Ben as well lol who knows, anywho i have been smoking for 6 years now ...i'm a bong smoker and until i smashed that beauty of a piece 4 days ago I just couldn't get it together but now it has been 4 days since i last smoked and i feel so much better, for me it was an anxiety/depression problem which has affected my personal life quite considerably, and i was under the influence like most pot smokers it was helping me but it made it 10 x worse. so i'm 4 days in no ganja !!! i feel totally relaxed from the moment i wake up to the moment i eat dinner and then it hits me...i feel overwhelmed and angry...and its almost like i am scared to settle down for the night because this is my usual toking time. Right now the biggest problem is falling asleep, I honestly dread the thought of being in my bed because i toss and turn for hours on end and eventually fall asleep around 2-3 am sometimes later, at this point I am even taking OTC sleep aid (diphenhydramine hcl) and its hardly helping. I know is not healthy but i hate the thought of laying in my bed restless because it allows my mind to wander, i have even tried herbal sedative teas, Valerian root, st.johns wort, melatonin and even going for a long run before bed but nothing seems to help. I refuse to go to a doctor and ask for anything because before ya know it ill be on the Pill message board seeking help lol...if anybody has any advice on sleeping after quitting then please let me know, thank you. I know I need to be patient when my body is learning something new but i honestly believe this is going to make me crack
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