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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Turning Point

Posted by: Sallyanna May 30, 2019, 7:30 AM
I'm hoping to get gain some insight. For recovering people with addictions what was the specific turning point in their addiction to choose recovery and be dedicated to the process? I know I have heard 'rock bottom' often however my daughter is hitting one rock bottom after another as is other adult children in our forum. If anyone has any thoughts or experience with this please share. Thank you.

Posted by: sad eyes May 30, 2019, 8:28 AM
I hope we get a lot of response from recovering addicts on this subject, as you said your daughter seems to be hitting one more rock bottom all the time, I suppose as parents it will be hard to answer this. I thoughtafter what happened to my son 3 years ago, that would of been his rock bottom, and I think he thought the same, but still he struggles never been in any more trouble, so not sure how much further he has to fall, intresting topic

Posted by: NyToFlorida May 30, 2019, 10:42 PM
Hi - About 6 months ago I watched a bunch of YouTube videos. I searched for ‘addiction recovery’. Idk exactly what the bottom is - different for everyone. but the common thread in long term recovery seems to be to stay connected to the sober support system of any kind and to feel like they have a purpose, a reason to wake up each day.

Posted by: sad eyes May 31, 2019, 12:00 AM
Yes I agree Nyt, everything I read is long term rehab recovery etc, over in Aus it costs thousands for only a month, and that is by no means long enough, I don't think I know a drug addict that has money!!, and yes deffanetly a purpose to get up on a morning, everyone's recovery I suppose is different?, as to how they have been using, normally dealing with someone with addiction, you are also dealing with someone who suffers anxiety or depression, just my thoughts

Posted by: helpmeplease May 31, 2019, 1:30 AM
I think if you want to hear from addicts in recovery, you might want to post in one of the other sections of this site as this message board is specific to families of addicts.

My son entered recovery after multiple bottoms (or what I'd have viewed as bottoms). He ended up in jail and had absolutely nowhere to live because everyone he knew would no longer allow him to even crash at their place. Sadly, the Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde persona of his addiction allowed him to reach his bottom because when he didn't have a place to live after jail, I told him I'd either pay for rehab out of state (so no addict friends could come get him out) or I'd pay for a weekly rental for one week and then he'd be on his own. I was shocked and grateful he chose rehab. At that point, he definitely didn't believe he had a problem. However, he went through the entire 90 day program, made a lot of close friends in recovery, and was still not allowed to move back home. He stayed in the state where he attended rehab and lived in sober living with some of my financial support. My feeling is I know my son has a disease and I will do everything I can to support his recovery, but I will do nothing to support his disease. Being in another state with only friends in recovery has served him well (at least it has in my opinion).

When I attended the classes for families at my son's rehab, one of the counselors shared that she was addicted to heroin and was on the streets homeless for two years before she finally had had it. I think what I have learned is that we can't know anyone's bottom. Some may hit their bottom and keep on digging.

Again, you might get a better response by posting to one of the other sections of this message board geared toward former/current addicts.

Posted by: Sallyanna May 31, 2019, 2:35 AM
Helpmeplease how long has your son been in sobriety? I appreciate you sharing his experience. It sounds like homelessness was his turning point. I guess I posted here because we do have people in active recovery in our forum too plus I want to share the posts with all the other parents here. I read somewhere there was a study where of the 1 in 10 people with addiction who achieve active sobriety, they had gone to rehab an average of 5 times. The 1 in 10 really bothers me.

Posted by: samegame May 31, 2019, 2:41 AM
I think helpme sums it up best, can't know anyone's bottom.

Every time I think the alkie hit a bottom here I was wrong.

The biggest mistake I see is those observing a potential bottom do what they perceive as giving minor aide but that either softens the blow/effects of hitting a bottom or delays it. It's tough to avoid but even if they're close to a bottom do NOT enable in any fashion. They must suffer the consequences their entire journey to it.

Best advice I've seen or heard is stay out or get out of the addicts/alkies way to their bottom.

Posted by: helpmeplease May 31, 2019, 9:25 AM
I am not certain of my son's sobriety date because he had two short term relapses (less than a week each time) and I honestly don't know that he will stay sober. I think it's really hard for us as families and friends of alcoholics/addicts because of the unknown. He has been in recovery over a year and a half, and I am just grateful he chose rehab because he refused for a long time and at least now I know the seed has been planted. He also has many friends in recovery now and they can help him whereas I don't think I can. He knows I love him, but I don't have the experience his friends in recovery do. They can share their experiences and offer him hope.

I definitely didn't mean to imply you did the wrong thing to post on this board. I'm also very interested in hearing from other addicts/alcoholics in recovery. I just thought you might get more response on some of the other boards. Thank you for your post.

Posted by: NyToFlorida May 31, 2019, 8:18 PM
Here is a link to smart - it showed up in my inbox. Topics might be of interest. I apologize in advance if it is not what your looking for.

Posted by: NyToFlorida May 31, 2019, 8:36 PM
Help me - what you describe is where we are at with my son. We could not live w active addiction in our home. You have probably been following my posts so I won’t go into details (I hear a sigh of relief from the readers! Lol)

he moved out begin of March . Things did not turn for the better. He is in jail since 2-3 weeks ago. For stealing food plus he had and on going case open from a year ago. He is either going to stay in jail for maybe 6 months or be sentenced to rehab. Either way he can’t come home. He knows that.

What you stated is our same thoughts. We’re not doing any more. He needs to live with his peers who have gone thru it and can be in a supportive environment such as sober living. He has been to rehab and sober living few times. He was resistant to go back to it - didn’t want to live w others. (Of course his room at home and all of our resources is much more comfortable).

Now he does not have a choice. We hope he chooses rehab and sober living. No matter how long he stays in jail he still cant come home. At the end of the day there’s only one choice. Sober living or homeless.

It is sad to have to make that decision . When we realize that our help is not helping.

Posted by: NyToFlorida June 1, 2019, 1:44 PM

Posted by: Sallyanna June 1, 2019, 2:17 PM
Thank you for sharing these with us. I really like smart recovery too

Posted by: RahneTelly June 6, 2019, 1:50 PM
I'm a recovery alcoholic (sobriety date 8/21/12). Everyone's bottom is different but for me it was the threat of losing something I loved. The fear of not changing over rode my fear of changing. So I did.

Posted by: NyToFlorida June 6, 2019, 6:39 PM
That said, everyone’s motivation is different. On one of the other boards someone wrote that he has a job he is doing well at, bosses are noticing him in a good way. He wants to quit his addiction so he can perform well at work.

Posted by: Sallyanna June 6, 2019, 8:16 PM
Rehne Telly thank you for your post. I guess everyone's turning point is motivated by what matters to them which makes sense. Do you think some people with addictions don't have a bottom?

Congrats on your sobriety youre an inspiration!!

Posted by: Sallyanna June 8, 2019, 7:43 AM
Please read '3 years sober'. Its listed on the side bar on the left of this page under 'Active Forum Topics'. You can click on it to read the whole topic. It was very helpful for me. "The pain of drinking was greater than the pain of getting sober". Much like what Rehne said.