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Message Board > Alcohol > Depression

Posted by: tryingtokeepthefaith September 30, 2018, 5:00 AM
when in early recovery, how did you deal with the depression, guilt, shame?
I have a loved one out of rehab a week and has crippling depression. Talks about this and the guild and shame being overwhelming.
I am seeing a steady decline in his state of mind.
He is putting himself in dangerous situations by going to sports bars to watch football games. Says he is spiritually fit and won't drink.
Stated he has started self harming again to cope with the depression, etc.
I don't know what to do or say. I live in a different state.
My counselor told me not to give advise to just listen.
He is no longer working out or eating healthy either like he was in treatment.

Posted by: idgie October 2, 2018, 8:29 AM
How did I deal with depression, guilt and shame? i went to AA, got a sponsor and worked the 12 steps of AA - and continue to do the suggested things one day at a time.

i am over 9 years sober - happy joyous and free

Posted by: Overfifty55 October 2, 2018, 9:45 AM
Good morning:). I’m sorry your going through this. Maybe you should make an appointment with your doctor. Getting professional help gave Me peace of mind. Over and above anything else.

Posted by: pirate October 2, 2018, 8:11 PM
hi. I had to get professional help and lots of it to help me get past my shame, guilt ,depression and other issues I had going on. In combination with that I also became a member of AA, worked the 12 step program with a sponsor and to date I have 8 years of sobriety..

Posted by: EmmaOlivia November 24, 2018, 5:44 AM
What does depression feel like?
In general, I am a pretty happy person. But every couple of weeks I have a few days in a row that I am really sad/moody. My husband always asks what's wrong and I never have an answer. It feels like everything is wrong but nothing happened to make me so upset and depressed. Is this a form of depression? Or is this a natural cycle people go through - stages of happiness and then sadness/moodiness?

Posted by: pirate November 24, 2018, 8:57 AM
Hi Emma. I hope you are feeling better today and if not maybe you should seek help in finding out the cause of why you might be feeling as if you are depressed. Sometimes a physical condition can cause those feelings .Are you new to recovery?

Posted by: KyCoo November 26, 2018, 7:21 AM
It's all about being strong. You have to look back and see what it had done to you and what you have just come out of. Do you want to go back?

There is no guilt and shame in accepting your past. It's only an experience that has taught you to be a person who's better than the one who was stuck under a pile of his/her own s***.

Stay strong, and take one positive step at a time. Love yourself.

Posted by: LoveTheAddict,HateTheAddiction December 3, 2018, 3:50 PM
Guilt and shame often stem from other issues. Guilt over what we have done, what we allowed to happen, shame because people tell us to be strong and we can't always be strong. Sometimes we fall back into the old habits. We know that we shouldn't, but that doesn't always matter in the moment. You said this is a family member somewhere else? All you can do is listen. Don't agree, but definitely don't say that the right choice was made either. Just listen. When life gets really hard we reach out to people who don't condemn us. Sometimes that keeps us alive better then anything else. The depression is deep, but having someone to listen and to be there for us makes a real difference. Sometimes the feelings cannot be described, but listen anyway. I know it is hard.
Because h e is someone you care about, you want to be there, but you might need a caregiver support resource. As much as you wan to be there while his recovery is going on, remember you can get burned out too. so focus on you when you need to also

Posted by: pirate December 4, 2018, 11:16 AM
Loved your reply loved the addict, hate the addiction.. well spoken/written with wise words..

Posted by: KyCoo December 11, 2018, 5:36 AM
I've been through depression and am slowly getting over it. I read a lot about it and it's not worth being depressed. I learned that I must fight the feeling. Make me feel better about myself. Do things that make me happy. I don't constantly berate myself anymore, appreciate my little victories.

Basically, I'm starting to love myself now.