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Message Board > Heroin > How Long Have You Gone


Posted by: constantine February 8, 2017, 10:42 AM
I get this might be a silly question...but I'm curious....asking other IV heroin addicts...how long has anyone gone before a full rattle hit ? ...depending upon your daily dose...?

Con

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 8, 2017, 1:05 PM
you mean how many hours after last hit i would feel really bad? lets see if i have hit in the morning around 8 ( about Β£10 hit ) and my habit is to have another 2 hits like thatt during day then by 3,4 after midnight i would be bad like hurting all over, not being able to stay put for 2 sec, what food? no food maybe hot drink if somebody an make for me ... totally depressed not able to walk normally ... is that what you asking or?

Posted by: constantine February 8, 2017, 3:57 PM
Thxs B...ya...that's what I'm asking...I think. ..usually id be hurting pretty bad by nite time if I didn't fix all day after morning. ..but took my last dose in morning last friday ...and the full rattle didn't really hit me until mid sat...it seemed to take awhile. ...I was surprised. ..and curious ....I'd been trying to keep my dose down while using...and not use over 3 month mark...so maybe that's why...i mean..the rattle hit eventually ..but not like it could have been. ..and it seemed to take longer before I was in deep rattle...that said...i made it ...did break down an use a little once but now clean about ...eh..a day or two now if you don't count the detox and serequel to sleep ...just wondering how long someone has gone before the full rattle hit...not the hollow...but the deep shake an bake ...im just fcking amazed I guess...

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 8, 2017, 5:43 PM
if i had hit at 8 am and nothing all day about 6,7 pm i would start sneezing and sweating ,become uncomfortable ...

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 8, 2017, 5:47 PM
its good news... you know how scared i am so just thinking about you going trough that makes me feel oh no! Did you get some meds? You have everything you need? Drinking enough water?

Posted by: constantine February 9, 2017, 1:04 AM
Lol...ya B...got what I need...got enough meds in this house to open an addiction pharmacy. ..your last rattle must have been real bad I'm guessing ...hey..you dropping on your dose ? Every rattle different I guess. ..this one pretty mild ...more uncomfortable than unbearable. . feeling ok for most part. .probably should drink more water though...like you...first week im all like...happy relieved. ..then the monkey starts...is what it is some days...thxs for talking

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 9, 2017, 6:35 AM
beautiful , the worst is behind you ..with H you know what to expect not like with meth (clean for 4 days and only then you start feeling bad when you think its all over lol) yes i am going down on meth to see how it goes but i am not stopping prescription ,i am not telling to my doctor ... just in case. its not that I am setting up myself for fall but why to go to all trouble of drinking meth before pharmacist and so on anyway i am keeping quiet plus i always like to have at least 1/2 l of extra methadone in house :) i said to somebody only what i feel is when i got up in the morning confusion and need hour time to feel enough energized to move around and if i sit without support between my shoulder blades is hot hot like like somebody is pushing me with hot iron ..you know the feeling but if i have back support or I lie down i am fine. Listen i am thinking i have small daily dose anyway and cravings .. but i will see how it goes ,ok i must go buy cigarettes now be back in 20
<3

Posted by: constantine February 9, 2017, 10:18 AM
Had to laugh my a** off...not that your hurt...methadone rattle sucks...but if you go slow you should be good...no...it's because I did the same thing. ..saved a mg or 2 ...still have a couple full btls left...lol. ..omg...run out ? ...what if I need it ? Lmao !! Addicts and our stashes...oh wow..just saw your post on juice board...be careful Lady...that's a pretty steep cut...take it slow...1 or 2 mgs every week or other week to let your body adjust...just my recommendation...know you don't want a rattle...

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 9, 2017, 4:52 PM
honestly I thought 5 mills down every 2 weeks is fine and once i am on 20 then go down really slowly like you said 2 mills when i feel like it. When I smoke weed i know to sit in 1 position for long time especially slouched forward (i hope its right termin-slouched ) slumped maybe better word anyway that can be reason for feeling my back i mean between shoulder blades. I am glad i maked you laugh :) i been to opticians and was trying out glasses and forgot 1 pair on top of my head lol i am at home with new pair of glasses ... happy dance!

Posted by: constantine February 10, 2017, 1:51 AM
Ahhh...guess I read it wrong...thought you were doing 5mg a week...man...I'm like a sissy. ..every frking drop even at 1 mg felt like hell....5mg every 2 weeks...still sounds like a lot to me...doubt I could have stood it....u go girl ...
I'm in that weird half space that comes after getting off...head is a zoo...hard to concentrate. ..im probably talking in fragments...sorry bout that ...

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 10, 2017, 8:17 AM
i don't know if i told you but i am doing this on my own so its up to me when i will go down another 5 mills , if i think its not good idea and not feeling right i wont do it! Its very relaxing tapering , no promises ... you know.
No wonder you are feeling funny and cant concentrate when you think your body and mind is been trough real shock last 7 days only now you are bit better but b3,4 days more and you could be up and running depends on your habit. Which day was your first day? Saturday or Friday?

Posted by: constantine February 10, 2017, 11:23 AM
Saturday. .. Friday morning was last fix...I'm doing better. ..coming out of that rattle fog a bit...eating a bit...sleep is up an down as usual. .damn legs bug me..but they always do...i still have morphine around. .which isn't a good idea..so...sometimes. ..other than that. ..hanging in there. ..so why you tapering? Just curious ? or ? Just wondering. ..you been on ..? ...3 -4 yrs ? I don't remember. ..fck..can't remember my name half the time...

Posted by: AWalton789 February 10, 2017, 12:06 PM
It depends on condition. Generally, if I take it morning 8 and work normally the whole day, then It will knock me at evening 7 or early of the night. But the time vary on different issue.

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 10, 2017, 1:58 PM
yes about 4 or 5 years on 40 mills then came down to 35 in December i think... i think its curiosity on my part (i know the story miau miau lol) will see how it goes if i think for 1 sec i feel funny in any way i am upping my dose immediately!
tomorrow is 1 week then , already, its scary how time flies quick but i bet to you at the time it was going very slowly ..

Posted by: constantine February 10, 2017, 4:01 PM
Welcome A...glad to have ya...ya...that would have been my take too...like B...but for some reason I didn't hit full rattle until well past time I should have. ..not complaining. ..glad it's done. .just was a weird one...maybe I'm getting better at tapering . ..

B...can't remember wtf you wrote now...have to go look..jesus...anyone seen my mind lately ?...
Ahh...ya...cutting down on your dose serves many nefarious purposes. ..hmmm....glad your monitoring yourself and aware ...hang tough lady

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 11, 2017, 3:06 PM
LOL nefarious purpose indeed , you made me chuckle.. i know what you mean and i am watching out... imagine going on holiday and on airport with bags all is cool then you realize you forgot methadone!!! Yours truly done that and of course i turned around got home, collected my meds and gone back to airport but i was late and airplane was gone .. had to buy new ticket(money which i could spend on daily cocktails or whatever :) so here it is what i dislike about methadone,only this responsibility towards your own body , you cant do unplanned things ..
Con do you think to stay in Germany forever or you have other destination in mind? I am feeling too much settled down to move country..or is age, little bit of both perhaps

Posted by: constantine February 11, 2017, 3:45 PM
Oh hell...know it well...always an ordeal to get take homes here for more than a week...god forbid I take two weeks of leave....yup...tied to it...but then again. ..dope the same way...just illegal....idk B...been here so long now...but truth is I've had a wanting to return state side for awhile now...maybe not to stay...but...don't know. ..it just gets harder to move the older I get...I sometimes wonder though if I don't sometimes push those boundaries at home on purpose just so I can get out... be gone for a while. ..bit of a relief sometimes. ..I get restless...so...Idk...part of me is lazy and content to be right where I am. ..and another part...that wild untamed dangerous insane part...just sleeps...but wakes up now and then....

Posted by: marykat80 February 11, 2017, 4:52 PM
I'm so lost..i thought 1ml is same as 5mg. No? How much you dropping bonnie?

Posted by: constantine February 11, 2017, 7:13 PM
Either of you ever feel that there are a few on the other board who kind of don't like hearing from addicts ...not the ones who get mad when you share what the deal is...but those who seem like they just can't move beyond the using at all...just deeply hates an addict ...not the disease...but the addict....like....blames their inability to detach by doing the whole ..you ruined my whole life because I have to always take care of you thing...idk..like.they have to continue living in hell and keep helping and being involved all the while complaining about it and complaining about how disappointed etc they are and how evil and fckd up we are.. while ignoring what everyone has tried to tell them. ..over and over...kind of like being addict...

idk...maybe I'm just not myself right now...but...it just gets under my skin...like...totally ignoring what half a dozen people have said and taking the ...oh...your doing just fine doing it your way.....I mean...if you think I fckd up your life and have stolen and am still stealing your best years and times...if you think im preventing you from living....well fck..stop fcking blaming me...stop keeping me around ...stop throwing it at me and covering it up by calling it support...or help...or whatever...and convincing yourself you just HAVE to do it...s***..just fcking cut me loose and live then...ugh...idk...sometimes gets to me...k...rant over...thks

Posted by: constantine February 12, 2017, 5:00 AM
A...don't know why your reposting everything you said already...are you reading what people said to you ??

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 12, 2017, 9:12 AM
it seems he done this on every single post.. maybe he is reliving each day like in movies?? lol :P

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 12, 2017, 11:04 AM
Con yes, yes I do. Its sad. Its like they dont want to see, like they prefer their way of life and how they deal with all this nightmare while knowing its not healthy ..addicted to addict . Then gets hurt and upset when another addict tells them how they got it all wrong and probably causing more damage then good. Yes I feel resentment sometimes but what I do is I stopped reading comments from few members.

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 12, 2017, 11:13 AM
can you imagine living in that way, never learning to detach , always sharing whatever addicts is going trough , actively involved from day 1, always hoping and always loosing the battle .. its terrifying at least , years and years of life spent for nothing and all you get back is pain , tears and desperation.. nightmare not life. So sad...
sorry Con I am in depressed mood today

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 12, 2017, 11:17 AM
MK this is what i found
For some medicines, such as methadone mixture, where the strength is usually 1mg (weight) per 1 ml (volume) the number for the dose and volume are the same, but as drugs (including methadone) come in different strengths it is good practice to always only talk about the dose using the weight - milligrams.
it seems its the same so my 5 mills is like 1 tablet of 5 milligrams ..

Posted by: duchesschama February 12, 2017, 11:18 AM
B and Con--

Not to sound paranoid (lol), but hope you aren't referring to me, cause I really look forward to reading your posts. I really value your advice because you have helped me so much in this craziness with my son.

We had no idea when we joined this forum what to do or how to do it. We have since stopped enabling and detached with love (well, he detached when we stopped enabling and is now MIA).

You guys have guided us and helped us to do what we have known for a long time was necessary. Just never had anyone that had walked the walk and could tell us what we were up against. You have helped us with our addiction--enabling!

I still need a booster ( of your advice) now and then when I have weak moments, but those weak moments are getting fewer and farther apart! We finally have some "normalcy" in our lives and our concentrating our our 15 y/o and ourselves!

Please don't stop reading my posts or commenting on them cause you are such a help and I really value your advice!!!!

(((HUGS)))) Lori

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 12, 2017, 12:14 PM
sweet Lori no and no its answer :) you are being nothing but supportive , as I would say decent human being, helpful and welcoming ! I am for one today is bad mood and when I am like that I know to lash out .. for me its more about feeling I get sometimes on this board but as I am going trough ups and downs i cant trust myself but when Con said it i thought ok maybe its not in my head only BUT then Con is not in great place herself so what we feel it doesnt need to be obvious to you .. on another hand all this could be in our minds only, dont forget we too have to live with guilt and hurt we caused towards others and ourselves , feeling unworthy and all other dark feelings that plague us on daily bases.I said on few occasions i am blessed and lucky to find you guys when i did ,honestly i think that!
hugs xx

Posted by: constantine February 12, 2017, 1:11 PM
Ditto to what B said ...all of it

Posted by: hurtingmom February 12, 2017, 1:31 PM
Like Lori, I hope I'm not being paranoid . . .I hope you aren't referring to me. LOL. In fact . . .ditto everything that Lori said!!!!

Lately, I, too, have felt like I have been beating my head against a wall sometimes. Thank God for the "delete" button . . .because I have typed out "In what other language can I say this to you in so you understand?" . . .but then I erase. I thought it was just because I have been in a super dark place recently . . .it is easy for me to go from calm to enraged faster than a Corvette can go from zip to 60 mph. Thanks for the sanity check!!! Just goes to prove, as my grandmother used to say, that some folks don't believe that fat means greasy.

You all know how I feel about each of you . . . what you mean to me . . .what you mean to this community on this board . . .I don't want to blow your heads or egos up by repeating it here!!!! Smile

Love you guys,
Lynn
xoxo

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 12, 2017, 1:44 PM
Lynn I thought you are going to say "in fact I know its not me you talking about" lol sending kisses xxx :)

Posted by: marykat80 February 12, 2017, 2:29 PM
Hahaha i can see lynn totally sayin that! (good thing) ☺ btw bonnie you got me cracking up bout the A guy and movie thing!) idk even know what was said except between you and con..but that was funny ans thought of that movie momento...you guys try to keep spirits up. I know too well easy to get frustrated or take things directed at ourselves. But people still get something from the addicts perspective..so even if is true..just think about the people who DO benefit from the advice. Even if its just ONE its worth it..(im sure much more then that)

Posted by: constantine February 12, 2017, 3:53 PM
No lynn...not u either...lol...

Posted by: duchesschama February 12, 2017, 5:26 PM
Marykat--

ME ME! I am that one that benefits! Don't want to lose you guys ever!!!!

(((HUGS)))Lori

Posted by: marykat80 February 12, 2017, 7:04 PM
Good good lori!! 🌸🌻🌸😊

Posted by: hurtingmom February 12, 2017, 7:58 PM

If only I felt as free as granny . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BXjQ2JYhQ0

Just to lighten things up aroud here . . .
Lynn

Posted by: marykat80 February 12, 2017, 9:14 PM
The fake fruit magnets always indicates a fun family! Haha i totally forgot about those...my fridge had one lonely donut that my sister would try to eat the sprinkles off of...

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 13, 2017, 7:07 AM
i have only 2 fridge magnets,1 is for Chelsea football club thanks to my better half and another 1 is from Mexico Cancun (years ago we had holiday over there when it was easy finance trip like that)... my friend have hundreds on her fridge i think from all over the world :)

Posted by: constantine February 19, 2017, 3:06 AM
Ok...we've got not only fruit magnets but a Kapillion from everywhere. ..hey B queen of Scots...hope your having fun...get a magnet....Mk...hope your doing ok....sending smiles to the ladies

Posted by: NyToFlorida February 19, 2017, 9:47 AM
Umm.. Ahh.. If you are not annoyed by Lynn and Lori..... is it me?
LOL.... sorry if I repeat and wallow in the past at times.... I am just trying to give examples to help others. This board has really been very helpful in giving me support and helping me see the reality of addiction

Posted by: hurtingmom February 19, 2017, 11:29 AM
LOL NY . . . you've got good jokes!!!

Hope you found Nessie, Bonnie!! LOL. Seriously . . .Hope you are having a well deserved ball. . . .and get a magnet.

Sending love, hugs & wishes for happiness for all. . .

Love you guys . . .well . . .I guess I should say "gals" (Shows you I'm from the Northeast. LOL).

Lynn
xoxo

Posted by: constantine February 19, 2017, 12:01 PM
Silly Rabbits...kicks are for tricks ...no NY...not you...LMFAO ...what have I started...forget the rant...sometimes the dope heads just gotta vent too...jeeez. ..LOL....magnets...we need more fruit magnets...

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 20, 2017, 2:09 PM
no magnets only ashtray ad key chain lol oh yes and bear toy (Dario won in circus , real circus ) feeling tired , it took me 5 hours drive to get down here , we did stop once for meal ) i found a cat , small ,young black female whose owners left her just days prior to our coming in motel , because it's black nobody wanted her and i was so sorry for her.. so i bought cat food and she was so lovely so when we was to go she jumped in car and i was like nooo out but then it took me just 1 more look at her and she is now London cat .. she is with us here! Clyde is not most happy boy but he will get use to her in few days ... not 1 single white hair on her, complete blackness with green eyes, very pretty ok that is me as i said tired but happy to be at home .. hope everybody is ok?

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 20, 2017, 2:46 PM
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1384185071665479&set=a.225402090877122.56312.100002219970145&type=3&theater

Posted by: constantine February 21, 2017, 3:34 PM
Awww...can't get the link to work. ..damn !...so...black cat...not a magnet....how cool is that ? s***...you know how to bring back a souvenir! !

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 21, 2017, 3:56 PM
just sec i try something
Con try now and tell me if is ok pls? I want you guys to see her, those green eyes :) i changed fro Friends only to Public settings on photo so fingers cross its ok now but if not you tell me and i think of something else. Stupid they didnt make easier to post photo..

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1384185071665479&set=a.225402090877122.56312.100002219970145&type=3&theater

Posted by: constantine February 22, 2017, 1:44 PM
Ahhh...she's Beautiful !!...eyes are amazing! !..hmmm...I throw out the name....jade....

I sent you a friend request. ..ya...that's me...

Posted by: hurtingmom February 22, 2017, 3:31 PM
What a beautiful souvenir! She is simply breath taking...very regal ...and already feels quite at home, I see. (You get to figure out who I am on FB by my like!!) and I love those jade eyes.

I really like Con's suggestion. But...How about Noir (French for black)?

Lynn
Xoxo

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 22, 2017, 4:56 PM
thanks guys, she is funny little thing ..poor Clyde is confused by her behaviour , she hiss at him but then follows him around so for now he is giving her " I am not seeing you" attitude but knowing him it will be ok, he is most tolerant cat I ever knew :) anyway Con thanks , Lynn i think i guessed right and sent f/r to you but of course I would NOT get offended if you are not up for that :)

Posted by: marykat80 March 2, 2017, 1:42 AM
Hella pretty!! I don't usually like sleek cats. I like big fluffy fat cats.. But shes beutiful!! Were those your other cats? I was scrolling though name suggestions and liked cinder that someone said. .you guys make me wanna get a fb.

Posted by: Bonnie5 March 3, 2017, 6:52 AM
MK you had Fb page before or you never bothered opening one? ..we are waiting on you :)

Posted by: hurtingmom March 3, 2017, 7:14 AM
Yes....MK....we are waiting on you!!!! Lol

Posted by: constantine March 3, 2017, 9:19 AM
Ok...sent you friend request. ..hope it's you !!!