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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: February 20, 2017, 1:02 AM
Hi Paula, I can tell your determined to go look for Zach even though you know it could be dangerous! You should go to the local police station closest to where he is and tell them this is what you intend to do and would a police officer come with you. I did this same thing about 10 year ago that your planning on doing. I had two big guys with me though. My husband and my brother. The police came with us, one police car with one police officer. But get the police to go with you because if it's a drug house they can have guns plus high on Meth! You could be robbed, raped, murdered. It's dangerous!! I know how you feel and you won't rest until you know he's alright. Take care.((Hugs))Mary💛
This post has been edited by Mandm on February 20, 2017, 1:15 AM | ||
Posts: 640
Joined: April 4, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 8:16 AM
Thanks Mary for giving Paula ideas & sharing your experience. I, too, am worried about her safety but understand her need to check on her son.
Been praying ....will continue to do so. Let us know what happens Paula. Lynn xoxo -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
Posts: 384
Joined: October 25, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 9:28 AM
I think if Zack is still answering his phone then he is OK...at least not being held captive. He has no money and no reason that I can see why they would keep him against his will. I would think that it is more likely that they are all high on Meth and he is paranoid about something. It is probably a love / hate relationship going on in that house. They are his buddies and are giving him drugs but he doesn't trust them...because of something imagined or maybe even something real. His reality is probably messed up right now because of the meth use. Checking on him could be dangerous but if you must do it be prepared for him to say everything is fine. He might say that even if it is not fine...they get some delusional reality scenario started in their head and they believe all kinds of weird things that are not true. He may be paranoid of family or think the police are fake. Make sure the police know the whole situation so no one on either side gets hurt. Maybe Zack could meet you in a public place so you can see that he is OK. Even a public place is not totally safe...I have had my son screaming in my face in the Walmart parking lot and yelling at strangers for doing nothing but walking nearby. I hope it all goes well.
-------------------- BUGS | ||
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Posted: February 20, 2017, 10:57 AM
Paula,
If I remember Z's DOC it is meth. It can make one very paranoid, as you very well know. He is still answering his phone, which is a good thing. If you are determined to lay eyes on him, Rather than meeting him at the place that he's staying at, can you meet him at a public place like a restaurant or convenience store? Someplace where there's a lot of people? And bring someone with you? This post has been edited by Mtgirl on February 20, 2017, 10:58 AM | ||
Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015
Posted: February 20, 2017, 11:09 AM
Paula,
If Zach can't or won't meet you at a public place then please listen to Mary and get a police officer to go with you to the house. I do understand your need to make sure he's ok and there of his own free will. Be careful! Hugs -------------------- Michelle | ||
Posts: 521
Joined: August 28, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 11:10 AM
Paula--
As you can see everyone on here is worried about you. One time a long while ago my son(who is a meth addict) met me at a Publix grocery store and started demanding money and was very paranoid. Kept thinking cops were hiding in the store watching him. He tipped my grocery cart over and spilled everything out while screaming at me and strangers. They are not in touch with reality and you could be hurt. I called police and my son ran out of the store. Please think clearly about all this as Z sounds like he might be very paranoid! His talking quietly on phone or acting strange means to me that he is paranoid and may even think that cops are listening in on phone call. Be cautious! Lori | ||
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 11:39 AM
If you go to police station ask about the area - tell your situation. at least get more of a perspective of the area. dont expect the officers to readily help you. it may take time. If you go to find Z, at least bring your brother with you.
I think you will need a bigger plan. Z will probably walk away from any help you try to set up, unless it is Inpatient and he can not leave for at least 3 months or more? maybe he needs a drug management treatment. I guess that just seeing him will allow you to know that he is OK, but pretty gut wrenching since you will probably be leaving him there. but maybe you need to see it. Perhaps going to the police is the best first option - telling them the situation - hopefully finding a compassionate officer - maybe if you put a name to Z's face, and ask the officers to call you if they see him - that you just want to know he's alive.... This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on February 20, 2017, 11:40 AM | ||
Posts: 304
Joined: August 3, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 4:07 PM
Thanks everyone
I am determined to make sure he is safe. These are some strange people. I've been stalking FB and doing research and I think they are transgender. It doesn't seem like he has access to his phone..just limited and then he says I need to go and hangs (when I hear a person in the background) I do know that it's drug haven...,very bad part of town. I have a friend who has family that works for the FBI and trying to see what we Are dealing with. Please keep praying Something is off Hugs PAULA And thank you all so much for caring. It means a lot! | ||
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Posts: 640
Joined: April 4, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 4:35 PM
Paula . . .thank you for posting. Been praying all day.
I hear & understand your determination. BUT please listen to the choir on this board. . .DO NOT GO ALONE!!! Get this FBI-guy, the cops, your brother-in-law . . . I seriously think you can pay folks (body guards, bouncers, etc) to accompany you. Ok . . .so you & this big burly guy (or one with a gun) goes down there. You see that Zach is not in a "good" situation . . .but he is not being held against his will? OR . . .he joined a cult/been brainwashed/is so high and is so wigged out he can't make rational decisions. . .OR, God Forbid, he is being held against his will? OR What if the place is okay but the folks he is with are all suspect and he says he wants to leave this hole in the wall? Or what if it is a Hoarder house but he wants to stay? Or . . .whatever other possibilities are out there. What next? If he leaves with you, where is he going? What if he says, "No?" How will you handle this? I'm not DIS-couraging you from going. Lord knows that I am not. It I lived closer, hubby and I would be picking you up and driving over there with you!!! (Did I ever mention hubby is an ex-football player who does 200 push-ups before he works out every day???!!) But I'd be asking you along the way, "What if we get there and X?" and "Whatcha gonna do if you get there and Y?" I just want you to prepare yourself mentally and protect yourself emotionally before you step into the lion's den. . . because anything can happen. . . anything can go down. Please be careful!! Praying for you and Z, Lynn xoxo This post has been edited by hurtingmom on February 20, 2017, 4:45 PM -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
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Posts: 304
Joined: August 3, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 7:01 PM
Lynn
I know I sound crazy. Lol I'm not but mothers will do whatever it takes to make sure their kids Are ok. I'm not going to enable....,just making sure he is there on his Own and not being held. HPD is checking that person out for me and I will make sure to take the police. I have several plans if Zach WANTS help -Free Christian Program -Another 18 month program that's 800$ then they work and Pay the rest -Another free program for homeless people I'm not spending thousands of dollars more. If he wants it he will do Whatever it takes. Thanks family 😘😘 I love y'all And I love the hugs and the goofy dance Paula | ||
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Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: February 20, 2017, 7:50 PM
Good Luck Paula! I know I'd be doing the same! We don't give up easy, do we? Be careful! Mary 💛
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 8:06 PM
Hi Paula - Story Time. when my daughter was addicted I was afraid for her well being. One time, she wanted me to pick her up, I told her to walk and meet me 2 blocks away at a gas station. Another time, she played a 'trick' on a dealer bc he had beat her out of $$ the week before. then the dealer stole her computer when she forgot it in his car. (ahh did she forget it or did she leave it as collateral) she did report it to the police. that was pretty gutzy - a drug addict going to police station to report another drug addict stole your property. lol . luckily he was afraid to pawn it bc she told him she reported it stolen. many months later, after she got clean, she and a friend pulled a stunt and got it back. I did have to give her $200 to bribe him with. this dealer had been arrested for shooting his neighbor with a shot gun - only got the guy in the leg and was let out on bail. he had a long rap sheet and was a con artist, but they couldnt keep him in jail. talk about scary.
I thought for sure she was dead on that afternoon when she didnt answer her phone at 3pm. and her friends called me at work to tell me they were concerned. Nope, she was still sleeping. I worked shifts and one shift had me leaving work at 12 am. I would routinely drive around the city streets on my way home. She was camping out with the 'occupy' movement. the campers were protesters and ALSO drug addicts. after a few weeks, I called the police and anonymously told them they were going to have od's on their hands, if they dont break it up... in another few weeks, the area was cleaned up. I was not involved in my son's circus - other than financial - he was older, he lived far away and hid the details of his problems. most of the time. he is more shy, able to be pushed around by peers - at least that's the way it looks at times. I could picture my son being talked into stuff and thinking he had no home to go to and no choice but to stay with the people. The odd thing is that Z has talked to you and has not said "come get me out of this" -- maybe the meth does that -- changes their thinking too much.... My stories are small compared to what you are facing. I understand your mama bear instincts. I am not making light of your situation. I am glad you have the police and FBI involved. You are such a strong lady. I want you to know that if WE ALL lived close enough we would ALL be by your side to help you find Z. You couldnt keep us away! just picture cars packed with momma's - hanging out the windows, smoking, drinking, yelling ..... lets GO! This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on February 20, 2017, 8:15 PM | ||
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Posts: 521
Joined: August 28, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 8:49 PM
Hahha NY-- I can picture all of us doing that and with Lynn driving and her big football player hubby as a bodyguard! What a deal that would be!
Paula--My son is a meth head as I have said before and he was with a lot of "seedy" people over the years as well. At one point he was prostituting himself for drugs. I won't go into anymore details on that because it is still very difficult and upsetting to even mention. I do know that meth is really bad and very difficult to get off of. Most never do--- I know you want to know he is ok and safe, but truth is as long as he is on meth he will never be in a safe setting. Meth life is the pits and they become someone we don't recognize and certainly can't control or make get help! I guess you need to do this, but please be careful and please prepare yourself for a worse case scenario ,because seeing him the way he is now may only break your heart into more pieces than it is. (((HUGS))) Lori | ||
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Posts: 304
Joined: August 3, 2016
Posted: February 20, 2017, 11:18 PM
Lori,Mary, Ny and Lynn
Thank you for your support. I wish we all lived close so we could meet up. Y'all are like family. We do crazy things as parents. I have went to a very bad part of town Looking for Z and I couldn't find him. For some reason I looked at bushes behind a bank And saw Legs hanging out. I jumped out of the car and yelled and it was Z. I was shaking Because it was a bad area, About 6 months ago I paid off Z drug dealer as long as he promised To stay away, found 3 bags of needles that was hid and accidently poked myself with 3 that had been used, recently ran off a drug dealer in front of my mothers house, the list goes on and on And the sad thing is...... I barely exist to him because Meth is his family and his love. It breaks my heart for all the drug addicts and the families. I know they are sick and not purposely doing this to us but it HURTS LIKE HELL. And I get the detaching and I'm doing better Thanks to some nerve pills but I WANT MY SON. I wish we could post pictures or show how beautiful they are. God be with them. Thanks for listening to the ramble lol Hugs PAULA This post has been edited by Plopez on February 20, 2017, 11:20 PM | ||
Posts: 243
Joined: August 18, 2016
Posted: February 21, 2017, 4:40 AM
Paula..I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time with Z! I am a mother too and I know how that mama bear instinct comes rushing to the surface!
I just want to make a couple points. Please know that they are coming from the perspective I had as an active addict and now as a clean one for three plus years. I understand you want to make sure your son is ok and that there have been some things going on that make you think he is in danger. I agree that meth causes EXTREME paranoia. It leaves it's users thinking everyone(including you) is out to get them! It also makes them aggressive and prone to violence. I do Not think you should go there at all. Have the police do a welfare check. There is no way you could protect yourself from the dangers that might be at that house. Besides the paranoia of the users, there could be wepons or they could be "cooking" meth there..then you have a bunch of flamable chemicals that could potentially blow. Even if you make contact, chances are he will say he is fine. You will see he is not, but he is an adult and he can do what he wants. However...if you send the police to do a welfare check and they happen to see evidence of drug use or manufacture, they will take him in. Is an arrest ideal? No. but it will get him out of the environment he is in, he will be in relative safety and he will have a chance to have the meth head clear. When the head clears amd he finds himselve locked up maybe he will be uncomfortable enough to change. or he may not. Unfortunately you (or any parent or loved one) can not save us from ourselves. I wish I had an answer to why some of us recover and some of us die. I guess it is like any disease. Sometimes when people have cancer, they survive..others do not. Same with heart attacks, strokes, etc. I wish I had the answers,,,but I do not. I know nothing we say is going to change your mind about checking up on Z, but I urge you to leave it to the police. The situation itself is dangerous. Not to mention that he doesn't have to listen to you..but he will have to comply with the police! I hope it all works out! Sending all good vibes your way! This post has been edited by lolleedee on February 21, 2017, 4:42 AM | ||
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Posts: 640
Joined: April 4, 2016
Posted: February 21, 2017, 4:54 AM
Yes...I can see us...the Momma Bear Pack...the Old Lady Gang...packed together in a car, with my hubby driving, on a mission to find Zach. Lol. Seriously...Know Paula we are all there in spirit with you. And we are all praying. I don't think any of us think you are crazy. We would all do the exact same thing!! No matter what drugs have done to our kids, we are still talking about our babies.
I hear you Lolle re the dangers and sending the police would be ideal. But I know I'd want to go and see with my own two eyes. I would need that mental image....to either help me let go OR provide fuel to continue to fight. You go, Mama!!! Praying that all works out... Lynn xoxo PS Anyone else interested in getting together for a weekend this summer? At some mid point. I think (the US contingent) we are spread as far west as Texas, as far south as Florida and as Far East as New York. Right? This post has been edited by hurtingmom on February 21, 2017, 5:06 AM -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
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Posts: 384
Joined: October 25, 2016
Posted: February 21, 2017, 9:23 AM
Paula, I know you are going to do what you feel you have to do as a mother but letting the police handle it without you might be better. Many drug users do have weapons and Meth makes people unpredictable. The danger factor is always present for all involved. Seeing things with your own eyes may not be the best idea. Some things are best left unseen and unheard…you can never forget whatever happens. You may have to leave him in a bad situation just because you can’t change it. Zack will do what he wants to do even though it may break your heart.
-------------------- BUGS | ||
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Posts: 304
Joined: August 3, 2016
Posted: February 21, 2017, 8:31 PM
Hey Lollie,Lynn and Bugs
Thank you friends. After talking to my friend we may do a welfare Check where the police go to the address and check on my son. Zach actually started texting a lot today to all of us. He told me he loved me And missed me more than I know. My niece who is like his big sister talked him Into letting her pick him up for dinner. He asked her not to bring her daughter Because he didn't want her seeing him the way he looked. I pray that it goes Well and henwill ask for help soon. I'm still not sure about the place he is staying but since he is allowing her to pick Him up that's a good sign. I'll give you and update later once she calls me. Praying for everyone Paula | ||
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: February 22, 2017, 7:55 PM
So sad that some souls have to go thru such a tough life/lessons. You are doing the right thing. Keep the life line open for Z. so he knows there are people who love him. Thoughts are with U.
This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on February 22, 2017, 7:56 PM | ||
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Posts: 304
Joined: August 3, 2016
Posted: February 25, 2017, 2:10 PM
Hey friends
Update Yesterday was rough.....I started receiving strange messages from one of the guys Zach was living with...zach was really messed up laying in middle of the road saying he Was dying. We called 911. He may have been dipping cigarettes in embombing fluid. Police called me and they took him to a psychiatric hospital where they will see What drugs are in his body and test for mental illness. I know he is safe 72 hours. After That..they re-evaluate and decide to release on have him court ordered to stay. Praying Thanks Friends Paula | ||
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