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Message Board > Methadone > Methadone Taper Part 2

Posted by: Overfifty55 February 20, 2020, 11:45 AM
This is the continuation of methadone taper by overfifty55. I’m very grateful today. I’m out of my funk and ready to post

Posted by: Randomperson February 23, 2020, 5:29 PM
Lol overfifty I’m glad you’re out of your funk. That was a good idea to start a part two to your thread cause it is frustrating having to go all the way to the end to see the newest post. Anyway I hope you are doing good. We have been having nice weather here too and no rain! I worry that if we don’t get some rain we’ll have more fires come summer/fall. We have been hit particularly hard there. Lost a lot of lives. Very sad. Praying it doesn’t happen again. Anyway I am doing good. Still Methadone free and at this point I have no issues. No insomnia or paws or anything. It took a about one year to sleep normal and that was the last issue for me. I sleep good now! Still going to CR and really have connected with that group. I feel connected to God again as well. I am at peace and grateful! Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I don’t think I would have been able to get off Methadone if it weren’t for you and this board and all the inspirational testimonies! Forever grateful!❤️🙂. I hope you have a beautiful week and I will check back soon!

Hi Mojo, itspossible, needhelp and George I hope all of you are having a great 2020!!! Miss you all!❤️

Posted by: Overfifty55 February 26, 2020, 10:46 AM
Good morning:) Thank you for the kind words randomperson. Yes I’m out of my funk and the sunny weather helps too. We’ve been having a mild winter, now it feels like spring. I’m excited for you and CR. It’s wonderful to have support. Ive been sleeping better than I have in years. Isn’t sleeping better wonderful? I’m still methadone free and enjoying life. Everyone is up and it’s a little distracting. I’ll post later......peace

Posted by: Overfifty55 March 2, 2020, 10:32 AM
Good morning:). It’s Monday and I’m up early ready for my day. I can’t believe five days have passed since I posted. Time is flying by so fast. Spring break will be here before long. I’m not ready for the transition. I’ve kinda fell into a groove at below fifty and sunny. It’s so crisp and beautiful. I guess it doesn’t matter time passes anyways. Speaking of time needing to pass for something to change. I want to grow out my bangs. I got my hair cut and decided I want a new look. I now will have to wait for it. Like when I got off methadone time needed to pass. I’ll wait patiently for my hair to grow. Waiting for gratification has been very hard in the past. I wanted everything immediately. Like taking a pill to feel better. It’s hard then it becomes easier and before you know it BAM it’s over. Your goal is realized. I’m putting this to the test again one day at a time. It’s hard to let my look be a little off for awhile lol. I need a distraction from all the stuff going on lately in the news. I’m concerned about the C 🦠 virus. Letting things play out on a day to day basis has been hard for me I want to know now. This isn’t me panicking I just want to know what’s in store for us. We had a deadly E Coli strain go around in our community and my daughter and husband got it. They were very sick and we never knew how they contracted it. So I’m probably more sensitive to stuff like this. Anyway that’s what’s going on with me. Have a beautiful week .............peace

Posted by: Overfifty55 March 12, 2020, 5:26 PM
Good afternoon:). I’m doing good and still methadone free. The weather is sunny and beautiful. Anyways wanted to pop on and say Hi.

Posted by: Overfifty55 March 17, 2020, 5:45 PM
Giving a big shout out to the whole board lol. It’s been so quiet on here for many months. Well I’m still here spouting my glad to be off methadone and you can do it message. During this crisis I’ll be saying hi frequently. Stop by and say hi or not. I’m here wishing you safety and peace

Posted by: Randomperson March 18, 2020, 8:32 PM
Hey overfifty so is the coronavirus driving you a bit crazy?😫🤪 it is a mad house around here! Good luck getting hand sanitizer, disinfectant sprays or wipes, rubbing alcohol, Aloe Vera gel, water and probably most importantly TOILET PAPER!!! While I get they want to stop the spread of the virus I kind of feel like it’s a day late and a dollar short. This virus has probably been circulating in our country since November, December. I’m sure thousands upon thousands are infected but now they shut down all life!! I never imagined seeing something like this in our country! Very scary. My daughter’s school has shut down for three weeks but I’m guessing that is going to change. We have been put on lockdown! I actually get to work two days a week alternating with my coworker because we are emergency disaster service workers but most employees have been sent home for 3 weeks! I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality! I hope you and your family are doing ok and staying healthy. I’m praying for our country and hoping this whole thing rides out by May. That may be wishful thinking but I’m still hopeful. I can’t help but feel some anger toward the Chinese government for hiding this outbreak and allowing it to spread like this. But it is what it is. So sad and depressing!😔. Try to stay positive and safe. ❤️ You!!😘

Posted by: Overfifty55 March 20, 2020, 8:51 AM
Good morning Randomperson:). Things around here seem pretty normal. Even grocery shopping isn’t too bad. Of course can’t get the items you listed but food is plentiful. My daughters work went out of buisness so she’s got to file unemployment insurance. This is a very trying time for everyone. The girls are out of school until April 28th if they even go back. I’m so very grateful I’m not on methadone. This situation would make getting it harder. Our public transportation is free now because they don’t want to handle cash. I expect public transportation to stop soon. This is unprecedented and we’re going through this like it or not. my Mother is getting her hip replaced on Tuesday. They haven’t cancelled it and moms in so much pain she wants the operation. I worry she’ll get the virus🦠. My daughter who is a alcoholic wanted to drink last night because she lost her job. Both me and her husband said absolutely not your an alcoholic. She was in a bad mood for awhile but got over it. For me I have no desire to use methadone or opiates again. It’s like I was never on them. I don’t think about it at all. I don’t reminisce about my using days. I feel very fortunate that I don’t crave it. Makes living a lot easier. The virus🦠 is worldwide which is surreal to me. Have a good morning and stay safe........peace

Posted by: Overfifty55 March 30, 2020, 3:36 PM
Good afternoon:). Well looks like April 28th is the new date to see how the 🦠 is doing. I’m getting a little stir crazy. I’m at my daughters and she as well as my granddaughters are home too. This is just surreal to me. The whole town is vacant at stores, malls, restaurants schools heck everywhere people should be they aren’t. It’s gonna make a good movie if they make one lol. I’m trying to find the humor in these trying times. Just so grateful I’m not on any methadone. Things have got to be hard if you go to a clinic now. Well it’s weird and enjoyable having my daughter here since she lost her job. She’s doing projects around the house. She’s doing good with not wanting to drink. I’m proud of her. Toilet paper is still hard to come by lol. Anyways just popped on here to say hi...............stay safe everyone...........peace

Posted by: Overfifty55 March 30, 2020, 5:42 PM
I stand corrected it’s April 30th not the 28th.

Posted by: Overfifty55 April 1, 2020, 6:29 PM
Good afternoon:) hi

Posted by: Mojo1 April 28, 2020, 9:15 PM
Hey hope everyone is doing ok and staying safe during this crazy time in life.

Posted by: Overfifty55 May 3, 2020, 7:54 PM
Good afternoon:). Just a quick pop in to say hello.

Posted by: Overfifty55 May 10, 2020, 12:01 PM
Happy Mother’s Day 🌼🌸🌷💐 Thinking of all the mom’s out there.

Posted by: Itspossible May 10, 2020, 8:26 PM
Hello everybody, i hope all is well. Just thought i would check in on you guys.
Im 3 years and 9 months free , no problems at all.its like i never took anything. Just a distant memory.

Posted by: Itspossible May 10, 2020, 8:30 PM
Im happy that your keeping this thread alive over50. Your a great watcher, over the people out there that most certainly need you. Im proud of you for keeping this going.

Posted by: Mojo1 May 11, 2020, 9:59 PM
I am so glad to hear so many people are doing great. It has been 4 years & 9 months for me and I tell people it is hard at first to get off methadone but it does get better. You have to take it one day at a time and pretty soon after awhile it's a distant memory.

Posted by: Overall May 30, 2020, 10:27 AM
Good morning:). Woke up to thunder and lightning. It was quite the storm since we’re not use to this. I’m doing good and still methadone free. I’m finally going home today after being at my daughters for 2 months. So in just a bit I’m going shopping then home. We took everything out of my house when the stay at home order was put in place. So I need all paper products, cleaning and personal stuff on top of groceries. It’s really nice hearing everyone is doing good. Thank you itspossible for the kind words. This site was my saving grace when I wanted off of methadone. I’m just documenting my journey and if it helps someone that’s awesome. So many times when I would read others posts they stop and I always wonder how they are doing. I can’t say how long I’ll go between posts but it only takes me a sec to say hi. I’m like you itspossible it’s all in the past and its a distant memory. Anyways that’s just what’s going on with me. Hope everyone’s weekend is safe..................peace

Posted by: Overfifty55 May 30, 2020, 12:04 PM
My name is not overall. Lol it’s overfifty55 sorry about that

Posted by: Overfifty55 June 24, 2020, 9:14 PM
Still methadone free 😀. Today I got a CT scan of my lungs. I also got a regular x-ray of my lungs too. I’ve been having breathing problems that came on suddenly a couple months ago. It’s not the COVID. Anyways this is something coming up from my past smoking days. I use to smoke a lot when I was on methadone too. Anyways that’s what’s going on with me today. I won’t know anything until July 9th. That’s when I made my appt. I suppose if there’s something really wrong they’ll get ahold of me. I’m not anticipating that though. I’m ready for answers. I’ve needed to do this 10 years ago. But I didn’t want to face it. Now I’m brave and strong. I take life as it comes and go from there. Anyways keep safe out there. 🌻💐🌸🌷🌼🦋

Posted by: Overfifty55 July 5, 2020, 8:42 PM
It wasn’t my lungs it was my heart. Due to my new diagnosis I’m leaving this site. It has been my pleasure sharing my journey.

Posted by: EastCoastHfx July 9, 2020, 12:34 PM

Hello there. I am a woman in her late 30s.
I have been on Methadone since March 28 2018. I got up to 120 ml.
Now I am at 84 MLS. I usually taper of 2-3 MLS at a time. last month I tried ten MLS from 89 down to 79ml(Friday). I couldn't handle it and by Monday I called D180 and had to go back up 5ml to 84mls and still found the 5mls tough to bare.
I can't find much information on tapering, in terms of personal experience, how much some can handle and how they handle it and their diet, any exercise, and whether or not they are tapering with carries at home or if they are tapering while still on witnessed ingestion at their dispensary.
Please anyone reading this, wishing to share their experiences, related to tapering, successful or not, I would absolutely love to hear from you!!

Posted by: NeedHelp123 August 12, 2020, 6:54 PM
Hey everyone! Overfifty, what happened? Why are you leaving? Where is everyone? Hope everyone is still doing okay

Posted by: Mojo1 August 21, 2020, 10:36 PM
Overfifty55 I hope you are doing well!!! It's been kinda quiet on this site and I was wondering why???

I just celebrated five years off methadone and every day feels better!!!

Everyone just remember it is possible, and victory is in your reach!!!

Posted by: Old guy November 9, 2020, 4:28 AM
1 year 11 September 2020

Paws lasts a long time but forth it

Posted by: Randomperson November 20, 2020, 8:06 PM
Hi Overfifty I just wanted to pop on here and say hello! I think about you often and hope you’re doing ok. I know your 4 year anniversary is coming up and so I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS!!! 🎉🎊 I’m so proud of you!!👏👏 4 years is a big deal!!! My three years is coming up next month!! Hard to believe! I really hope you’re doing good. I’m sorry I have not been on here but a lot has been going on in my life and so I just don’t have much time. I know I need to make time to come on here and say hi to everyone.......especially you! Hope your daughter and granddaughters are doing good. My daughter is doing good. She will be 13 soon so you know the teenage years. Anyway I just want to congratulate you again on 4 years Methadone free!!🤗❤️👏

@ mojo congrats on your 5 years!!! Way to go!👏🎉🎊🤗

@ needhelp hope things are getting better for you!!❤️

I hope Marykat and George are doing good too!!

@itspossible are you still around? I hope you’re doing good! Love you all like family!❤️

Posted by: Overfifty55 June 5, 2021, 10:12 AM
Good morning,

It’s been awhile since my last post. I’m doing well and still methadone free. A lot of change for me health wise and it’s been a challenge. I had open heart surgery diagnosed with diabetes and congestive heart disease with Afib. It’s really been an eye opener. I know my heroin use harmed my heart. In fact I believe risky living for awhile has left me with medical issues. For me finding this out was a whole new rock bottom. I’d been not feeling up to par went to the doctor and bam a slew of new diagnosis’s. It’s like part two of drug use. I hadn’t taken care of myself for so many years that this is something that could happen.

I’m sitting in the dark waiting for everyone to wake up. I’ve already had coffee and fed the queen miss Bella. My 🐱 cat. I’m over at my daughters house. She’s such a wonderful daughter. I’m so blessed to have such caring family. This makes a real difference I believe. Having a good support system while your tapering off of methadone. Go slow and try not to go up on your methadone once you’ve tapered. Keep going down.

It was so nice reading your posts randomperson. A lot has happened since the pandemic started omg I can’t believe it’s getting back to normal. The girls get out of school on the 17th. It’s almost the summer time and I’m not looking forward to the warmer weather. I don’t mind wearing a hoodie and keeping toasty. Lol. We’ve been unusually warm and today it’s gloomy and the temperature has dropped. My daughter got a big pool for the girls so we have something to do besides jumping on the trampoline.

So as I said earlier this is something that can happen down the road. I hung on to my drug use into my forties so something was bound to go haywire in the body. I rarely think about methadone and when I do it’s fond memories I hold onto now. How methadone gave me my life back. It was a miracle drug for me. Then I tapered really slow and her I am today.

It’s too bad it so slow on here. I really found this site very helpful. Everyone helped me achieve this by communicating on line. Randomperson, Itspossible, mojo1 I’ve followed your journeys too. You all have helped me and supported me. Thank you so much.

Posted by: Mojo1 June 5, 2021, 10:51 PM
Hi Overfifty, I am so sorry to hear about your health issues. You are correct having a family support system while tapering is extremely important. This site help me so m much as I was tapering almost 6 years ago. Wow I can't believe how times passes so quickly. I want to encourage people to read the stories of people who have successfully tapered off methadone. Remember everyone it may not be easy but it gets better everyday.

I want to tell everyone that I could have never found the strength on my own. My strength comes from Jesus and only through Him can I fight through the struggles.

Posted by: Overfiftr55 June 8, 2021, 10:41 AM
Hi Mojo1,

It was so nice to read your post. Wise words from a survivor of methadone. Time sure does fly by. I was just telling my son in law that October is just 4 months away. That’s how time flies for me. Six years is a long time. I bet it feels like a long time has passed. For me I don’t remember the struggling and sadness that accompanied methadone use for me. It’s all in the past. One thing that makes me happy is I can sleep now. I use to have trouble sleeping and would wake up at 4ish everyday. Now I wake up at a decent hour. How have you been? Are you sleeping now too? Have a wonderful day. Peace

Posted by: NeedHelp123 June 19, 2021, 12:27 PM
Hey, how is everyone? Overfifty, I’m sorry to hear about your Heath issues. I, too have had some recent bad news. I noticed I have been having more trouble breathing and attributed it to working out too hard but it was getting worse so I went to the doctor and found my oxygen levels were down. I’m still seeing doctors for tests but found I’m having some issues with my arteries and have something called Left Bundle Block. I’m 39, so it’s a bit of a shock to have heart issues at this point in my life but I did smoke since I was most of my life. The real kicker is that I had quit smoking the end of 2019. I can’t help but wonder if I had kept smoking, would my health be the same? Is it like draining/replacing the transmission fluid in an old car and find out it was better to just leave all that gunk because it’s what was holding it together? lol best analogy I can come up with, i guess.
Other than that, I’m doing okay. I am still Methadone free and PAWS hasn't been around for a long while so things aren’t to bad in that regard. We are still unfortunately under lockdown and can’t wait until I can eat indoors or go to an actual public gym again! Yes, I know the gym isn’t the best thing to be doing atm but lol I’m a stubborn sob, what can I say 💪

I hope everyone is doing well and hope to hear from some of you. Overfifty, I’m sorry again to hear about your Heath issues. I’m so glad you have family by your side. Very happy to hear that!

Posted by: Overfifty55 June 22, 2021, 10:42 AM
Good morning,

Hi NeedHelp123, I too had breathing problems and thought it was my lungs. My doctor listened to me but didn’t do anything. I was having an extra hard time breathing and it’s scared me so I called my doctor. She told me to go to the ER. When I got there it was serious. I was transported by ambulance to a hospital that could better take care of heart problems. I was kept 9 days and thought I was done with everything. Well then they said I needed open heart surgery. The surgery was a success. I had to have oxygen because my oxygen levels were down. Do you practice breathing excersises? Anyways I’m not on oxygen anymore. I still don’t have much stamina when walking or standing. A brisk walk of 15 minutes and I’m winded.

I’m glad you caught this early NeedHelp123. I’m 58 and thought I was too young for heart problems. So I can imagine your surprise at 39. Medicine is so advanced that I have every confidence everything will be just fine with me. Anyways sending good vibes your way.

That’s wonderful that you don’t have PAWS. I didn’t have it and feel very lucky. I’m super glad your methadone free. It’s the best present you can give yourself.

I’m up before anyone else and having my coffee. Enjoying the start of my day. The girls will be up shortly and then breakfast. I better go………Peace

Good morning Randomperson have a beautiful day. Summertime is here.

Posted by: Overfifty55 June 25, 2021, 12:07 PM

It’s a heatwave here for the next 4 days. Summer has started with a bang. The girls are settling into summer vacation already lol. I’m glad they have some normalcy since the 🦠 COVID.

I’m bad about keeping track of things like dates. I guess it’s almost been a year since I had my open heart surgery. Time sure flys by. In fact gonna get ready for Christmas because it’ll be here before I know it. Lol

I’m dying my hair and have 9 minutes left. I had been thinking of going natural but it’s looking pretty rough. I have a birthday to go to tomorrow and wanted to look nice. Anyways just living life. That’s what’s nice about being methadone free I can enjoy my day. No glooming I’m gonna be sick. Nope no worries.

Just thought this site needed some posts so I’m posting. Lol. Everyone have a wonderful weekend. Peace and love.💚💚

Posted by: Overfifty55 June 29, 2021, 12:42 PM
Good morning,

Hoping everyone is staying cool. We’ve had scorching weather the last 3 days. Today I’m cracking crab for salads tonight. My daughters neighbors gave them 🦀 crab. I do enjoy a good crab Louie.

I’ve never been a sleeper always up before everyone. Well I don’t know if it’s being methadone free or my heart meds but I can sleep now. It’s incredible what sleeping does for my mental health.

Anyways Just gonna hang out with the girls today. Have a beautiful Tuesday……..Peace

Posted by: Overfifty55 July 22, 2021, 11:04 AM
Having a cup of coffee and listening to Good Morning America. The new Siberian Husky has changed my routine. Always getting himself in trouble lol and me needing to know what he’s doing at all times. The whole experience is refreshing. I’m getting up more and that alone changes the day. New experiencing the dogs in a whole new way.

I’m glad I haven’t taken methadone for years. A change to one’s routine can sometimes derail you. I’m flexible and not set in my ways. I roll with the punches. Do you find that to be true for yourself? It makes life easier to be sure.

Well yesterday was very interesting. My granddaughter and two of her friends went to the little park in our neighborhood. Some little boy on a bike was cussing at them. So they called 911 and the police came . The policeman needed to talk to me about it. Omg it was like a Hollywood comedy. The new Siberian Husky got out when I opened the door for the police. So I went after him. The policeman is watching me. I finally get Toby in the house and have to talk to the police now. Im irritated and freaked out when they need my name. Old behaviors.. I haven’t had a run in with the police in years (10 or more). I thought it was interesting that I felt in trouble.

Well that’s enough for now. Have a beautiful day……peace

Posted by: Overfifty55 August 20, 2021, 5:22 PM

Just thought I’d pop on here to say hello.

Posted by: Mojo1 August 22, 2021, 8:00 PM
Hey, I hope everyone is doing well.

Posted by: Overfifty55 August 25, 2021, 11:53 AM
Hi mojo1,

It’s so great to hear from you. It’s so great to be methadone free!!

Posted by: Randomperson September 15, 2021, 6:50 PM
Hi everyone it’s so good to hear from you! It has been a while since I’ve posted but not because I don’t think of you, but because it’s been crazy. I sure hope you are all doing well!🤗

Overfifty it is especially good to hear from you. I was so worried about you! I am so sorry to hear about your health issues 😔 but so relieved that you’re still alive! Health issues is definitely the down side of drug use but I hope with your surgery and good medical care you’ll do good. I can’t believe it’s already September! We both have anniversaries coming up. I’m still Methadone free and I have to say for me God has been good. I never get paws and I feel better than I have in a long time. Do not miss it one bit!! I am very grateful and always will be for you and this site! I hope your daughter and granddaughters are doing well and also the new dog🐕 I ❤️ Huskies but they are known as escape artists….. 😂

Anyway I hope you all are doing great! I miss chatting with you. I guess I need to check this site more often!🙂

And to anyone who is contemplating getting off of Methadone, if you want off you just need to make the decision and stick with it. It can be done and you CAN do it! Peace 🕊

Posted by: Overfifty55 September 19, 2021, 12:04 PM
Good morning Randomperson,

It’s wonderful to chat again. I’m methadone free and yes coming up on another year. You too seem to echo what I feel at this time. I don’t miss it at all.

My daughter and grand daughters are doing good. My son in law is hunting. He killed a 6point elk with a bow and arrow on Friday. The meat is fabulous so we are excited.

I have a hard time putting words on paper and have started a post many times. So sometimes I’m all over the place. I’m being a bit daring this morning eating a half of a Crumbl Cookie with my coffee. Sugary goodness. Yesterday everyone got a Crumbl Cookie. You never can eat a whole one I’ve found. Anyways I’ve almost finished mine.

It really is good to hear from you. I’m so glad your methadone free. I’m doing good but my health could be better. I sporadically take the dog for a walk. The Husky definately is causing me to walk faster.

Now the subject of school. The girls go in person learning 5days a week. They also both do cheer. They’re very busy. Growing up everyday. How is your daughter doing with school? Love that summer is over. Ready for the fall.

Peace and 💗 love.

Posted by: Randomperson September 22, 2021, 1:47 PM
Good morning overfifty I hope you are doing well today. It’s so nice to catch up with you! The cookie crumble sounds delicious 😋 and now I want one. Lol. I’m so sorry about your health issues. I know it’s got to be hard on you. I’m so glad you’re close to your daughter and granddaughters…… being close to family is so important. My daughter is doing really good and is in school in person, she also plays soccer ⚽️ and volleyball 🏐 She loves sports. Overall we are doing good. We did make a move so that was a little stressful but it’s done and we are all settled in now. If it weren’t for Covid everything would be great right now……..but you know with Covid it’s just frustrating. I will be glad when the whole thing is over!

I’m still Methadone free and like you I don’t really ever think 🤔 about it……except when I come on here. I sure hope other people realize that it is possible to get off. For us tapering ourselves was effective but for others they may need to do a blind taper. I think the biggest obstacle in getting off is believing that you can and having support. I have no issues with paws or anything and if I’m being honest I actually feel better now that I’m off. I still go to CR and I really love that program. A big help for me was this board and having you guys support me…… that was huge for me. Anyway I won’t ramble anymore. Lol it’s very nice chatting with you again! Take care and I’ll Ttys.❤️🤗. Prayers🙏 and Peace🕊

Posted by: Overfifty55 October 3, 2021, 7:44 PM
Hi Randomperson:)

It’s so good to hear from you. I’m so excited that your doing well. I’m doing well too . Like you I don’t think about methadone unless I come on here. I guess that’s how it’s suppose to be. Coming up on another year both of us have come so far.

I agree with what you said about going Cold turkey for some. I tried going CT and that’s why I tapered. Lol. I don’t like to suffer and my doctor prescribed medicine to help with my taper. When I went cold turkey I didn’t have a plan on how to go forward. I think that’s important.

Sounds like your daughter keeps you busy. The granddaughters both have cheer at different times during the week. I don’t drive so my daughter or SIL is always running around the kids. They keep them very busy.

Ah the new Siberian Husky is credited with getting me moving. He’s very calm for a Siberian. I take him for walks here and there. He turned one today. I got all three dogs a nice bone from Wilco.

We are having a celebration tonight. Shrimp Alfredo, salad, bread and raspberry poppyseed buttercream cake. Yummy. My SIL went and got the cake at the bakery. This is a gourmet cake so it’s guaranteed to be good.

Yesterday we had guys cutting up elk all day at the house. Therefore us girls went shopping and out to lunch. Fun day.

Well I’m gonna post this before I erase it. Peace, love, and hippie beads.

Posted by: English grl October 22, 2021, 6:07 PM
I am a 43 year old woman who has been taking methadone since sometime in 2016 ( I cant remember exactly when as I used heroin on top of my methadone for around 5 years before getting clean of heroin around 4 months ago so my memories are a little hazy)
Obviously methadone wasnt the miracle drug that got me clean of heroin, I just ended up with two habits rather than one in the end, and wish I had never touched the stuff, in the first place. I felt like this as I have got clean from methadone a few times in the past cold Turkey, but only after using it for 4 months at the most, and the withdrawals were bad enoughand then so as soon as I got clean from heroin a few months ago i came to fully realise what i had done to myself in using methadone for 5 plus years and got massive anxiety everytime I thought about having to come off it at some point. when I finally came to get clean of heroin I was so concerned with how much methadone I was already taking that I decided to do It completely cold turkey which is what I now know I should have done in 2016 when I first was prescribed methadone as no matter how hard it is I know that it is nothing compared to long term methadone withdrawal.
As soon as I had come off the heroin I started tapering my dose by firstly 2ml weekly and then when that was too hard by 1ml weekly. I carried this on for around 2- 3 months but I found it so hard that I nearly went back to heroin and took a break for a bit about 2 months ago and it has taken me the whole 2 months for me to be stable on my current dose ( I managed to get myself down from 50ml to 32ml) and I have been pretty sick in the meantime and have been sleeping very little until this week, and I'm still waking up restless even now. What with getting clean from heroin and tapering my methadone I have basically been sick since May/June and the summer completely passed me by unfortunately, which is a real shame as I love summer ( I am pretty useless when I am sick and find it really hard getting off the couch let alone out of the house when I am like that) but it will all be worth it one day I keep telling myself, and I am so happy to not be using heroin anymore so at least I have made progress there too and will hopefully never go back to it as that is what got me in this mess in the first place.
Now I dont know what to do as tapering seems to be a lot harder for me than a lot of posts I have read on this site, or are people not mentioning how hard it has been for them? I am so keen to get off this poison ( I know some people might disagree with me but that is how I feel about methadone as i know taking it isn't good for my health and gets into my bones and it also stops me from doing so much in my life like travelling and working in certain jobs as I need to always be near my pick up venue) and want to do it asap but now know that it is going to take a lot longer than I had first anticipated and tapering is going to be a lot more uncomfortable than I first had imagined.
I am currently childless and would love to have a child but cant bear the idea of consciously putting my baby through withdrawals iby planning to have a baby if I am still having to take methadone. This is what first prompted me to start tapering my dose and had planned to try and come off it within a year but I now know that that is totally unrealistic for me and at 43 I dont have a lot if any time left so am having to come to terms with the fact that I probably wont ever be a mother which is absolutely devastating to me. Can I just say that I am totally not judging any mother who has had a baby whilst taking opiates of any kind its just not for me personally if I can help it but I would welcome any comments from mothers who have been through this and could give me any advice or thoughts on the subject.

Anyway i just wanted to say that i spent all day today trying to find information on methadone withdrawal from people who have been through it and found there was woefully little to be found and this was the only place I have found so far so thank you so much to everyone who has shared their stories and journeys on this site, good and bad as I have found them so informative and helpful for the journey I have ahead of me, how ever long it may last. All of the stories of you who have come off it for good, however you have done it has given me great hope for my future and the possibility of a life without this horrible and restrictive drug which I didnt have until today so thank you so much. You have also made me realise how difficult it is going to be once I try and kick it for good but that is a good thing as I am now more mentally prepared for it than I was before, forewarned is forearmed as they say and I am somebody who likes to know what I have in store for me where opiate withdrawals are concerned. I have also picked up tips for medications that are helpful for me to try which I had never thought of so thanks so much for that too. Hearing how things are in the US rather than the UK has been enlightening too as there are quite a few differences that I would never have thought of, such as you having to pay for your methadone in the US ( if you dont work in the UK then you get it for free, and even if you work full time you only have to pay around $30 every 3 months). And having to get your methadone from special clinics ( in the UK we have to go to regular pharmacies).

Anyway, that's enough from me, I will finish with saying a special well done to all of you that have managed to become methadone free,you are all truly inspirational and must have a special inner strength that I can hopefully find when it is my turn to do my final withdrawal. And anyone who is still in a similar situation to me, you are all in my thoughts and I understand totally what you are going through. I would love to hear from anyone who wishes to write back, real support and understanding is very hard to come by in this life unfortunately ( well it is for me anyway) and I would love to hear from you. Love and peace to everyone 😍[