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|Message Board > Cocaine / Crack Cocaine > Constant Relapse|
|Posted by: Hemaro January 26, 2017, 6:13 PM|
Hope you are having a wonderful time.
I had problems with crack-cocaine and went to a rehab for 3 months and everything worked out great.
Went to many 12 step meetings but after a couple of years I started to have the cravings again.
I moved with my parents to have more control over my addictive behavior but I relapsed and have been relapsing frequently.
I don't want to use drugs again but I'm weak.
My family does not know that I am using and I don't want to live in hell again.
|Posted by: derey88 January 27, 2017, 8:16 AM|
I always say that if you relapse you should never beat yourself up over it.
Sometimes we give into temptations what you should focus on is not letting
them temptations creep back in.
If you feel they are throw yourself back into the support groups and give yourself
plenty of strength to get back to being clean again.
Sometimes we F**K up dont threat you done it once you can do it again.
|Posted by: dyerbro November 8, 2017, 4:18 PM|
|I did 10 months in a Life Recovery Program. I smoked crack for three days. I was discovered by family, friends and counslers. I then got a job, an apartment and car. For the next year I would relapse by smoking crack every third month. I changed my location, moved into a relatives home that could supervise me. I have not smoked crack for eight months.|
|Posted by: Frodo November 11, 2017, 3:28 PM|
|I had a similar experience. Meetings really triggered me. It was not what anyone said, but just being in the room with other people who smoked crack made me think about using.
I could not afford therapy at the time, so I had no one to talk about this with.
Predictably, I started binging a couple times a year.
Eventually, I got the space between binges to be less frequent and now I maybe use twice a year. I think I am finally at a point to kick it.
It is long and hard, but it is possible to get off the stuff.
|Posted by: scdad January 29, 2018, 4:47 AM|
|I can relate with everyone. I'm fresh off a recent relapse after 2 years off. My triggers? Money, and available time off. Thought I could get away, but that didn't work out to well when my wife text me asking me how's work. I could have lied, but i done put her thru all that over and over again, so I just told the truth and ignored her texts and phone calls for 2 days.
Basically mine got worse over the long period of time. She was ready for divorce. Cant blame her. Before that, I like many of you, had patters of every other day, to every payday, to every 3 months, then it was 6 months, and now 2 years. I didn't do it on my own. I didn't do it for myself. I did it mostly b/c I didn't want to cause no more pain to my wife, and didn't want to disappoint my daughter who I eventually disclosed my addictions to.
I regret it, but following my sponsor I did, and I'm living with it. You have to find your "WHY", and your WHY has to be bigger than you. Many say, you have to do it for you, but honestly, I'm not there. I ain't never been there. I'm not there now 100%. But its getting there. I get it. They say you should recover for you and nobody else. Just keeping it real, if it was up to me, I'd be smoking and getting head right now.
Yet I "love" my family.... it that reason why i'm not. f*** you want me to do? what you want me to say? but my feelings are my feelings..them urges..and that's all they are, however, I lose hours daydreaming about it when i need to be hitting these books.
It comes down to you. It comes down to your decision. May not satisfy your inquiry, however, the answer is always the same. NOBODY pointing a gun to your head but you. you can play if forward, pray, pick up the phone and call a sponsor, go to all the meetings in the world, however, if YOU WANT IT, AND YOU WANT IT THAT BAD, YOU GONNA GO. Until you want something else more than you want that, then...i'm sorry, but you'll be relapsing like me.