Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Overwhelmed

Posted by: Sallyanna January 13, 2019, 1:40 PM
In the first 5-8 years of my daughter's addiction I was completely overwhelmed. I could not think straight. I was just in a 'reaction mode' just reacting to each crisis on a daily basis. At the time, I didn't know much about addiction and the behaviors associated with it. I lost the support of my family and my husband. So that made it even harder. Meanwhile while I was trying to keep everything afloat (at least I thought I was) my daughter decided to move on to heroin and in time an IV heroin user and is now totally physically dependent on it. Then for 3 years it's detoxs and rehabs too numerous to count. During this time I lost my home to a fire, my husband of 25 years and I divorce, being older it took me a long time to find a job so I had to live off my savings. It's very hard having a child with an addiction. For a long time I couldn't see the forest through the trees. I had a hard time making decisions. Then my daughter started putting herself into detoxs and rehabs. She seemed to want to fight to get off of it however she struggles to keep sobriety after she's discharged. Right now she is sharing an apartment with a roommate. She lives 9 hrs away in another state. I hope she makes it. I pray for her everyday.

Posted by: YellowBirds January 13, 2019, 2:03 PM
Sallyanna - I, too, am overwhelmed. Just wanted to let you know I feel your pain. It takes a special kind of parent to endure this type of pain and keep going. I dream of a life where my 16 year old son is living a normal life - going to school, being asleep at night and awake during the day, bathing regularly, combing his hair, wearing clean clothes, not injecting toxins into his veins. My dreams for my son a few years ago were so different than they are now.

I sleep a lot. I haven’t cooked a meal in months; don’t have the energy for it. If I’m not at work, I’m sleeping. This is my pathetic version of self care. You can’t feel pain when you’re asleep, right?

Thinking of you and praying for your daughter xo

Posted by: sad eyes January 13, 2019, 6:07 PM
Sally Anne your background sounds very similar to mine, 25 years of marriage I left him 10 years ago should of done it 20 years ago, after been in my home 3 years I lost everything to a fire, funny when I was by myself my youngest came with me he was 16 at the time he has always had problems with his dad, think this is a lot of his drug problems, anyway got through fire they rebuild my house, I always use to see to my friends "when's my bubble going to burst" I was happy by myself my kids where good, and then sure enough 4 years ago I started to suspect things, and sure enough my bubble burst! , in the last 15 months I have learned to coup far better than the first 18 months we found out about the drug use, my life was turned upside down. YeELLOW BIRDs I know exactly how you feel that's all I wanted to do , sleep if I was sleeping I wasent thinking, I couldent eat work don't know how I got through it, but overtime bit of council long I did, i have crap days bows but they are less, as I have learnt like us all about addictions, maybe how I ,a age to cope with things is we treat it as a illness, I am on this site every day, I don't post a lot because I feel I haven't got a lot of advice to give, but I follow everybody and feel all your pain, we are strong women

Posted by: Sallyanna January 14, 2019, 8:42 AM
Thank you yellowbirds and sad eyes. I'm sorry you have to go through all this heartache with your children too. YB I sleep alot too it's really hard to get out of bed in the morning Id like to just stay in it all day. SA we do have alot in common. Your posts are very helpful so please keep posting.