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|Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > My Son's Drug And Alcohol Dpendancy|
|Posted by: PaulaM August 11, 2016, 4:19 AM|
|Hi, I can't believe the title of what I've just written. In all my living days, I never expected or believed that my son would become dependant on drugs and alcohol. I ask myself why is his life so bad that he has to take drugs to escape living in the real world. Why does he have to do it... He says to help him sleep, but that's not true, because he is awake and restless till 3-4am, reading the fridge and generally being unaware of his actions of roaming. He's not here anymore, I can't have him sleeping under the same room as me anymore, I feel unsafe now.. He's been doing this for 10 years now. He is not registered with any Dr, he has no job, he has a girlfriend and a sister and some friends, and I have to leave it up to them now, because I really can't do anymore for him, not that I've done anything anyway, because he tells me that I emotionally abuse him, because I don't do as he wants me to I guess, and that's to provide a roof over his head. He offers me no board of lodgings money, because he has none, despite telling me how much he earns selling the stuff. I am a nurse, and I have worked and supported my children while they were growing, just like everyone else. I've been a single mother since I was 18 and worked for 30 years. What is wrong with the world? I don't understand anything anymore.|
|Posted by: Shell2639 August 11, 2016, 6:38 PM|
How old is your son? I'm assuming he's an adult. You are at a point that we all get to....of wanting to be done. I'm the mother of a 29 year old heroin addict. If you haven't already read other stories on here, please do. You'll see your life talked about over and over. You aren't alone. You do not have to and shouldn't have to live the drug/alcohol lifestyle that your son is living. If he's an adult, and not disabled, he should be expected to take care of himself. I don't know the specifics of your situation but you are completely in the right to go ahead and put down rules or stipulations and if they are not followed then the adult children in the house (whether using or not) should be evicted. We gave our son more than enough chances to get something going and he continued to do the same things over and over and eventually was homeless. He finally managed to crash with like minded people and somehow he's making it but he's not clean, he doesn't have a job, he has legal troubles, he has no license or car....he still hasn't taken on any adult responsibility. His life is his responsibility now. I'm not taking ownership of it. Our kids make their own decisions and should have to face the consequences of them. I wish you all the best.
|Posted by: NyToFlorida August 11, 2016, 6:45 PM|
|Where to begin, Welcome to Hell.... (LOL)
You are saying that you need to save yourself. It is true. I am sorry about your son.
My son is (mostly) clean for the past 7 months, does not live at home, pays his rent and buys his own food. I am still paying his student loans. I just want him to master paying rent and eating.
Still he seems to have difficulty with that and is not happy. the bar is so low now. I think the longer they are clean, the more they become human again. I think a year is a good number.
Back to YOU - Go to Nar-Anon meetings the people there will help you detach with love and stop enabling. This basically means stop providing Food and Shelter. You can go to Al-Anon if there is no Nar-Anon near you.
There is a lot to read here at the Recovery Guide