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|Message Board > Recovery Diaries > Recoveredcrackhead At Yahoo Dot Com|
|Posted by: larrylive December 17, 2009, 11:54 AM|
|Yes it is a misnomer, but I can dream can't I. Besides it is very difficult to keep track of recovering crackheads, or so the rehabs tell me.
Enough about you, this is my blog and I shall attempt, once again to get off crack. Please bare with me, this may take awhile. I have been at it for ten years already and have actually managed to make things worse.
I used to be fairly well employed and would only use on paydays. Well of course I went broke, lost the usual, Family,friends, jobs, etc. Did a couple 28day rehabs in 2000 and 02 along with the obligitory halfway house and outpatient. Some how though I managed to keep the career moving, right up to 2006. I then took a couple of steps backward and whoa don't do that. Once I hit that slippery slope...Some how I managed to find an apartment where I lived for a year, unemployed. How, why, I don't know but have abunch of unconfirmed ideas. Anyway like I said I was unemployed for a year (coming up on two now)
and I have never smoked so much crack. I kinda befriended a bunch of crackwhores( hey don't call them that) Then old aqaintence moved in across the hall and he thought it would be a good idea to sell. So people could cop from him and come sit in my place and smoke for a hit or two. Yeah, that took off like a rocket and went 24/7 for the afore mentioned year. Slowly things got bumpy and one day I woke up in jail( 4 months for being an accomplice) My first time, at 46 years old. And now I am an unemployed convicted felon crackhead. Other than that things are looking good, wink wink. I am homeless and my insane landlord has lost or stole half of my belongings, primarily the useful s***, plates,bowls and cleaning supplies. And a bunch of expensive adio gear, camping supplies and about 1000 record albums (oh, did I mention I am not the usual crackhead, any more. I sold alot of stuff but kept alotmore and stopped doing that a few years back) He was kind enough to leave me my books, many many books and most of my t-shirts, many many t-shirts(long story) And now it's winter and no matter how many t-shirts you put on, well you get my drisft.
This life sucks and I am running out of time on the librery computer, so fpr now......
Good luck and Godspeed to all
|Posted by: larrylive January 8, 2010, 4:54 PM|
|Well here I am in a new year and still haven't smoked crack, that's good although not impressive as far as I am concerned. You see I have one and only one trigger and that's money. With it I WILL smoke crack, without it, not so much. As a matter of fact just recently I left my apartment and stayed away for hours because I know it was coming around. Fortunately for me I had a woman to pursue and that kept me occupied. And no it didn't happen, sucks. And that's another strange thing about me, I won't engage in random sex. I like me and want to keep all the parts working. Not to mention I like to play if you get my meaning. I was married for 23yrs, faithfully. And I was lucky to find a beautiful woman that liked to play as much as I did. I really believe it comes with or helps develope a greater sence of trust in the relationship. And never in the 10yrs of her putting up with my addiction did she accuse me of having sex with others. I miss her, she was my best friend-soulmates as they say. We started as high school sweethearts, made two beautiful daughters and had the world in our hands....I f*cked up.
So onward and upward, hopefully next week I'll be in treatment, 'til then be well.
|Posted by: larrylive February 12, 2013, 1:05 PM|
|Well look at me...I'm a college kid again.
Just found this thread (again) it's been a long time/journey.
I shall try to come back and update here, seems more appropriate.