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|Message Board > Alcohol > Day #6 And 6am|
|Posted by: WishingWell July 25, 2018, 7:19 AM|
I'd first like to start out saying that I've never joined a message board before about addiction and that this is my first one. I don't know where to really start with my story besides the realization that I'm a alcoholic and dependent on Xanax at the age of 36.
I started out pretty early in life experimenting and throughout my 20's partied and then I dealt with a lot of loss and started drinking pretty much daily. These past few years have really been hell for me. I deal with Panic Disorder and drinking would numb me of that anytime I was having an attack. I'd wake up in the morning having an anxiety attack or withdraw from alcohol and start drinking all day and night. I've been doing this for many years.
I don't want this lifestyle no more and I also know it's killing me and I'll be dead soon if i keep it up. I want to stop and not for anyone else, but myself. Today marks day #6 without a drop of alcohol or a cigarette. As i sit here at 6AM in bed I can't breathe good and my chest is tight. I just took some Xanax which I'm sure will relieve me a bit. I've also have started turning my diet around and eating only healthy foods and LOTS of water.
I'm not sure why I'm here right now, is it because I asked the Lord for help and he's showing me the right direction? Or am I just gearing myself up for another binge when i feel better? I hope it's the first.... The Devil tried to throw me a curve ball last night. I was invited to a family party where my cousins from FL are in town and everyone was going to be BBQ'N and drinking and such. I declined on going as hard as it was. I stayed home in bed ( Which I've been in nearly 6 day's) and I'm trying to be strong.
I hope i get a response from someone on here and have someone to maybe talk with. I think that would be great for me and help me to keep my mind off alcohol. Day number 6... I actually smile a bit knowing that I'm trying to do better for myself..
Well this post was all over the place and I'm not really sure what I was supposed to say.
Hope to hear from you guy's
|Posted by: pirate July 25, 2018, 11:35 PM|
|Hi Wishing. I believe you are here because you are led to a life of sobriety. We all started somewhere. The day I called AA I was drunk before noon with no intention of getting sober but shortly afternoon I had called for help. It has been a journey of not only giving up drinking but finding the real me that was buried under loads of alcohol , remorse and guilt. That was in 2008 , it would take me several attempts before finally ACCEPTING that I had a disease. I have been sober since 2010 , doing my recovery work and helping others as much as I can ONE DAY AT A TIME. I live with the motto of JUST FOR TODAY. AA can help as well as other programs. I learned a lot in those 8 years but first I had to have an open mind in order to do so. I do hope you will come back to the board and if you get nothing out of it at least i hope you will know that someone cares and understands you...There is HOPE and there is a SOLUTION...|
|Posted by: WishingWell July 26, 2018, 6:07 AM|
|Congratulations Pirate on being sober since 2010. That's huge! Good job :)
I felt very anxious yesterday and the thoughts of drinking were in my mind.
I find myself with a new problem and that's being bored. What am I going to do now for fun?
It seems as if anything I've ever done was surrounded by drinking. I have to find something that
grabs my interest, a new hobby or something. I was invited to go with my Uncles today to go see a band but i declined as it will be pretty much a beer fest. I don't want to go back and I don't want drinking to be an excuse to have " Fun" . I really want to stop this time. I'm trying Pirate.
Today marks WEEK #1 without any alcohol or cigarettes. I'm actually kind of proud of myself and I don't want to let myself down going back to it. ONE DAY AT A TIME right? Well today is my 7th day without and for the most part i feel alright ( A lot better than I would be drinking ) .
I really appreciate you taking the time to write me back and the encouragement helps a lot.
I hope to speak to you again on another day?
|Posted by: pirate July 26, 2018, 6:46 PM|
|Hi. congrats on a week! No matter how much time we have we all just have one day..
In recovery we have to retrain our brain because not only do we have a drinking problem, we also have a thinking problem. We can do this by putting in place a recovery program to help us change our addictive thinking..Recovery takes work but it is so worth it.
Upon awakening in the morning make a list of 3 things you have to be grateful for... this will help you develop an attitude of gratitude..
list one thing of beauty in your life.. this will help you notice the beauty around you
list one thing you have accomplished..this will help you build your self esteem..
There are many sites on the internet that can help as well as AA meetings if you are interested especially if you can attend them in person. Below are some links to recovery sites that you might like to check out .. Take what you can use and leave the rest...
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous....The AA book to read...
http://stepchat.com/....meetings, chat and support
These are just a few that I hope you will find something to help you...also music is a good for the soul of which I have a thread on here where I post songs related to recovery..... take care and good luck...
|Posted by: WishingWell July 28, 2018, 9:22 AM|
It's me again. Today is day #9 no Alcohol or Smokes. I was very tempted yesterday as I went to the casino. I was so close from having just 1 Beer, but instead when i went up to the bar i asked for a bottle of water. This morning i woke up early and my mom and I went for a walk in the park along the bike trail while the sun was rising. Then we went and I visited my grandmother and grandfathers grave this morning, after that my mom and I went and had breakfast.
I'm not giving up and taking it one day at a time. I also hope that with me eating healthier and not consuming as many calories as I was daily from drinking alcohol ( 2,000 calories at least ).
I'm just drinking lot's of water and I do believe I've lost a little weight since. I think my drink for today I'm going to make Cucumber water.
One pitcher of Ice Cold Water
Several leaves of fresh mint (5 or 6)
It sounds refreshing. Well that's my update. I plan to keep on giving more updates every day or other day. Thanks for listening,
|Posted by: WishingWell July 29, 2018, 6:01 AM|
I'm up early feeling good. Going to go for a walk and go to the grocery store and pick up some ingredients to make a chuck roast stew. Then probably make it to church. I was feeling so good yesterday and had so much energy till out of nowhere i had a huge panic attack and felt alcohol was the only thing to help me right then and there. I fought it and relaxed took some of my medication and within 30 minutes i was feeling comfortable and ate a little something and went to bed.
I'm not giving up! I feel to good to feel bad again :)
|Posted by: WishingWell July 30, 2018, 5:43 AM|
Still doing good!
|Posted by: WishingWell August 1, 2018, 6:54 PM|
No drinks for me !!!
|Posted by: WishingWell August 3, 2018, 2:05 PM|
|15 Days Sober!
Two weeks Yesterday :)
|Posted by: pirate August 3, 2018, 9:35 PM|
|Congratulations Wishing! Be proud of your accomplishments and know that you are worth staying sober for.....|
|Posted by: WishingWell August 3, 2018, 10:18 PM|
|Thank you very much Pirate!
It feels so good to be going to sleep early and waking up early watching the sunrise and getting things accomplished. It feels good to be out in the sun all day. You should've seen me today I was out in the hot sun all day at the beach with people drinking and they kept trying to offer me beers and i kept saying NO.
I felt so strong today being able to say NO and watch them drink. I must've had like 8 bottles of water!
I don't feel as bloated, my face isn't red and swollen like it was. I think I lost a little weight.
I want to keep on keeping on!
|Posted by: pirate August 4, 2018, 7:29 PM|
|Hi Wishing just sending along some support and encouragement . Keep on keeping on.. YOU CAN DO IT!|
|Posted by: WishingWell August 5, 2018, 11:33 PM|
|Still no drinking for me! :)
I really appreciate it and this group Pirate. I think it helps me just to say I'm doing good, it's like a reminder to myself a sort of pat on the back if you will.
Thx a Million!
Could use some prayers though as I have a echo-cardiogram in the morning .
|Posted by: WishingWell August 6, 2018, 11:02 PM|
|Hi It's me again.....
No drinking... Day number 18 and will be falling asleep soon waking up to day
I had my echo-cardiogram test done this morning.
I'm very nervous about that. I hope everything is okay...
|Posted by: pirate August 8, 2018, 5:29 PM|
|Hey Wishing Well. How are you doing?|
|Posted by: WishingWell August 13, 2018, 1:02 AM|
I'm happy to say it's day #24 without alcohol. I did go back to smoking which is unfortunate, but as for the drinking I'm doing great. I find myself always having a bottle of water in my hand. I'm getting addicted to drinking lots of water. I can't really say I've had any urges to drink and I'd like to ad that Im mentally blocking it out knowing I don't want it. I know I'm not in the clear, but I'm happy where I'm at right now. I had my echocardiogram and the results came back normal. That made me feel good.
I'm sorry I have not posted lately . I have not forgot about this wonderful group that's helped pushed me to where I stand today 24 days clean . July 19th was my last drink ice had.
I'm not going anywhere. I'll continue to be apart of this message board and I greatly appreciate you.
|Posted by: Cordeliatolear August 13, 2018, 10:25 AM|
|I'll piggyback on WW's intro. This is the second message board I have been on, and the first related to recovery.
Glad you are doing well; for me, this time, I have 74 days.
Off to look for music thread
|Posted by: pirate August 14, 2018, 5:46 AM|
|Hey there Wish...YOU keep on keeping on!You are doing wonderful. I would like to see you post 3 things you are grateful for and a thing of beauty and an accomplishment . I will share mine with you
I am grateful for my grandchildren (3)
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful for my job
Beauty: the sky with all it's clouds and sun at day, the moon and stars at night.
accomplishment. Kept my cool when irritated
|Posted by: WishingWell August 14, 2018, 8:25 AM|
|Hi Pirate! Day #26 :)
I am grateful for my Family
I am grateful for carrying a caring heart
I am grateful for waking up this morning
Beauty: Waking up at 5AM. Walking with my mother on the bike trail for 2.5 miles, inhaling fresh crisp air, hearing the birds chirping, the dew on the grass, the smile on my mothers face while looking at me. Gods work.
Accomplishment: Over 3 weeks not drinking with 1 month of sobriety just a few days away. It's been at least 10 years or more since this has happened.
I'd like to thank you again Pirate and I really do look forward to these posts as they make me feel like a better person and keeps me in a great state of mind.
With lots of love,
|Posted by: pirate August 15, 2018, 7:01 AM|
Today I am grateful that loved ones are coming to visit
I am grateful for the food I am cooking
I am grateful for healing
Beauty: wild flowers
accomplishment. Did some cleaning.
Reading for today:
Keep It Simple
We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
We are addicts. We suffer from an illness. We go to Twelve Step meetings because we know who we are. We have a sponsor because we know who we are. We ask friends for support because we know who we are. We know why we need our Higher Power to guide us. Recovery is a spiritual journey. In this journey, we are followers, not guides. It’s a journey that change us. We don’t know how recovery will change us, but we know it will. Is my faith strong enough for my journey? Part of how we get strong for our journey is by knowing who we truly are: addicts.
Prayer for the Day: I pray to remember who I am, so I’ll learn to respect the power of my illness.
Action for the Day: I’ll take time to remember my past, both good and bad. I’ll also take time to think about who I am now. How far have I come?
|Posted by: WishingWell August 19, 2018, 8:03 PM|
|Tomorrow = 1 Month*
|Posted by: idgie August 20, 2018, 7:43 AM|
Congrats on your 26 days that's huge, hope as you read this you've accumulated a few more days in fact.
I struggled and struggled to stop drinking, but what eventually worked for me, was to stop fighting, surrender and ask for help. when i did that help was given and I am over 9 years sober now.
Its the best thing I ever did in my life because now I actually have a life! I used to worry about boredom too but now I don't have time to be bored, my life is so busy and full.
In the begining a big thing that helped me combat boredom as going to AA meetings. Apart from the fact that its so helpful there, it gives you somewhere to go each day or evening, something positive and sober to focus your day around. You get to meet and talk to other people who are on the same journey as you and who can help and support you.
Learning to live without alcohol does take time, but you only have to do it one day at a time. Hope you stick around.
|Posted by: WishingWell August 25, 2018, 3:33 PM|
|Thank you everyone!
I also went from 269lbs to 253 with drinking just water.
I'm feeling better and going to continue my sobriety..
I'm Thankful for another chance in life.
|Posted by: idgie August 27, 2018, 7:56 AM|
Thanks for checking in. Its great to hear you are doing so well. We are cheering you on.
|Posted by: pirate August 27, 2018, 2:35 PM|
|HI Wishing. Congratulations on your accomplishments! You are doing AWESOME! Keep up the good work. Looking forward to reading more about your progress.. take care and God bless....|
|Posted by: WishingWell September 1, 2018, 12:34 PM|
|Well Hello everyone!
I'm at day #44 today :)
I'd like to Thank God for giving me the strength and will power.
It's kind of funny. My grandfather has always been known to record things like all his children and grandchildren's heights growing up and other things etc... Well he is now on board keeping track. My mother and grandmother and him were together yesterday and my mom goes. " I'm so proud of Ryan Guess what Tomorrow is " My Grandfather yells out " Day Number 43"
So I guess what I'm trying to say is it feels good to have another one supporting me as such and helps me not drink, not only do i not want to let myself down. I don't want to let him down or anyone else.
That's just a little story for today.
|Posted by: Cordeliatolear September 2, 2018, 9:12 AM|
|What a nice surprise to have a respected member of the family elevate your sobriety on a day to day basis to that of other, normative personal milestones. It casts off the shame and stigma so often associated with our affliction.
Grats, for real on your days. I too am new to this (again). Time permitting, share some of your strategies that have worked thus far.
|Posted by: WishingWell September 2, 2018, 12:36 PM|
|Cordeliatolear Thank You!
I'd have to say at first it was super hard and the withdrawals were what scared me the most. I was drinking very heavy for many many years not missing a day... I tried to stop before and went two weeks and ended up going to the casino and thought i could be the type to have " 1 Beer " well I did have that 1 Beer and then the next day at the casino I had " 2 Beers" and that after that I was in my room up all night into the early mornings drinking lot's of beers and hard alcohol. I guess what I'm saying is as much as I don't want to face the fact that I can't have just 1 beer. I have too because it's true and I'm starting to understand it and training my brain also to know that I can have fun without alcohol.
I'd have to say one of my biggest tactics of not drinking alcohol for me is WATER. I need my water!!! I don't drink pop or anything else sugary, Just Water and Milk.... I'm starting to see results in myself like my pants are starting to become very lose, losing some weight, skin is clearing up and starting to shine, eyes are becoming nice and bright, my mind is becoming quicker.. All these things are helping me from never wanting to go back to drinking. I don't wake up with the horrible Panic attacks no more and rushing for alcohol, I haven't had the horrible chest pains I believe caused from alcohol, I haven't had the horrible diarrhea ( Don't mean to sound sick ) from alcohol, nor have I caused problems due to alcohol.
Just trust me and always have a bottle of water in your hand. i piss like a race horse, but that's okay I'm sure my liver is loving me for it. I've mistreated it so badly. Once you start seeing good things happening to you, you won't want to go back to that dark place again. Think about all the pain it caused and will cause you if you go back. I know i surely don't want to feel how i did before. It's not worth it. I'd rather be smiling, becoming more healthy then frowning and dying.
Water my friend is what's helping me. Training my brain ....
|Posted by: Cordeliatolear September 3, 2018, 9:28 AM|
|So, all along it was water!- Great to read this device works for you on so many levels. I'll try to emulate....it can't hurt and it might replace he heroic amounts of Haagen Dazs I'ver allowed myself this time around.
I have been through the ringer so many times that this time I actually checked myself into rehab and have taken some "contrary action"(including checking in to this message board). So far, so good, The stark reality is I really don't have any runs left in me. Great to read your thoughts and keep us posted as to how things continue to progress in sobriety! Right back atcha with the love
|Posted by: pirate September 3, 2018, 10:01 AM|
|Hi Cord and Wishing Well It is so refreshing to come here and see you two working on recovery. I take my recovery very seriously and put it first and foremost in my life because if I take one drink I know in my heart of hearts that I do not have another recovery left me in. Sobriety MUST have a life of it's won if it is to survive . I cannot be dependent on what is happening around us or to us. If we want an excuse to drink it is easy to find one. If we want a reason to stay sober we will find one. Life doesn't have to be perfect to be good. It can be unfair , at times cruel but our reaction depends on if we will be survivors or victims. Hope you and everyone who is reading this post will have a great day ...
I am grateful to be alive and sober on this sunny morning
I am grateful I have a job
I am grateful for family and friends...
|Posted by: Cordeliatolear September 3, 2018, 10:11 AM|
|All true, pirate. Thanks for the encouragement|
|Posted by: idgie September 5, 2018, 6:55 AM|
So awesome to see your posts...seems like you have tapped into one of the key cornerstones of sobriety. GRATITUDE.
You listed all the good things that are happening for you now you've stopped drinking. That's awesome. Keeping that attitude of gratitude is essential for me. If I let myself get on the pity pot for long enough I can be in danger of poor me, poor me, pour me another drink!!!
when I was drinking I didn't even know that self-pity was what I was experiencing most of the time!!! Now I can recognise it and I quickly make the effort to transform it into gratitude. Every day I am grateful to be sober....and that's just the start of a very long list!!!
|Posted by: WishingWell September 5, 2018, 9:59 PM|
|Thank you to every last one of you and also congrats on everyone else's accomplishments.
Today is day #48
I'm doing it guy's and I'm not going back! I've came to far this time and have not had the painful symptoms of drinking since putting a stop to it.
I don't want it no more!
|Posted by: pirate September 7, 2018, 9:26 AM|
|Hi wishing. sending along encouragement and support. Congrats on your continued sobriety. You are worth it!|
|Posted by: WishingWell September 7, 2018, 9:56 AM|
|Posted by: WishingWell September 13, 2018, 1:10 AM|
56 Day's..... I'm feeling pretty good. My family is really proud of me. I'm proud of myself.
Hard to believe that in like 4 more day's it will be 2 Months :)
I can't wait to see the health benefits from another two months.
|Posted by: Cordeliatolear September 13, 2018, 9:44 AM|
|Posted by: pirate September 13, 2018, 4:45 PM|
|Congratulations Wishing. You are doing AWESOME. Keep up the good work and dont forget your gratitude list....
|Posted by: WishingWell September 18, 2018, 2:52 PM|
|Thank you everyone!
Today is 61 day's! I'm very thankful for this site.
|Posted by: idgie September 24, 2018, 8:30 AM|
good to see you still here posting of your successes. What a great thing one day at a time.
thanks for the reminder about the water, I need to be more diligent about that.
Went to a BBQ the other day with some other sober people. So nice to be able to socialise without making a complete a** of myself!!
Keep up the good work Wishing
|Posted by: pirate September 24, 2018, 9:15 AM|
|Congrats on 61 days wishing.. Hope you are continuing on in your recovery journey with enthusiasm , positive thoughts and an attitude of gratitude. Be proud of your accomplishments.|
|Posted by: WishingWell September 24, 2018, 11:35 PM|
|Well hello, hello, and hello!
Wishing here just letting you know I'm continuing with my sobriety from that poison called alcohol.
I'm starting to forget about many day's it's been. July 19th was my last drink...
it's like 66-67-68 something like that. I know if i called my grandpa he'd know as he's keeping a log lol Which i find very funny and sweet of him :)
I haven't forgot about you guy's and actually thought about you guy's a couple times within the past couple day's telling myself that I haven't been on lately. I hope they don't think i fell off the wagon... lol
Welp I didn't .. Sober!
Thank you to all,
|Posted by: WishingWell September 24, 2018, 11:52 PM|
WATER WATER WATER MY BEST FRIEND
|Posted by: WishingWell October 1, 2018, 11:24 PM|
|I'm still doing it!
|Posted by: idgie October 2, 2018, 8:18 AM|
Woohoo you are doing it one day at a time.
just got home from an AA meeting about half hour ago so doing my late night wind down. 10.30pm is late for me these days haha.
Feeling so happy and grateful to be alive.
|Posted by: pirate October 2, 2018, 8:12 PM|
|Good on you Wishing! keep up the good work...JUST ONE DAY AT A TIME...|
|Posted by: WishingWell October 7, 2018, 10:50 AM|
I love coming back to replies from everyone it means so much to me :)
Today is day number #81 I have a few milestones coming up the 90 days/ 3 months is around the corner and the good sounding number of 100 not to far away.
I'm thankful for not waking up from alcohol withdraw and needing alcohol to do things on a daily.
I'm thankful for my family and all the support I get as it's 1 day at a time but I'm reminded daily of my accomplishments of how many day's it's been.
Side note: I know I'm not out the woods yet and it's really that much of a physical thing for me . It's more or less a mental thing for me now. It's like the thought just lingers of how much more fun things can be if drinking and how much better I'll feel.
I say SHUT UP DEVIL! With those lies.. I will not feel better as I know how I felt in that hospital bed with blood pressure at 190 /110 and a high pulse shaking s***ting blood and checking myself into a free rehab in which when i showed up it was a homeless rehab and more or less like a jail which was crazy....
Sooo no thank you. I'd rather stay in the lane that i'm in and continue cleansing my liver with water.
I'm thankful for getting back some willpower
|Posted by: idgie October 8, 2018, 5:43 AM|
|You go wishing!!!!
So awesome that you have that support. I related to what you said about the lies.
I said something similar to myself a lOT in the early days. That I don't need to listen to lies anymore - especially the lies my own head was telling me!!!!
For me, ANY thought or idea or fantasy that a drink might be a good idea is simply no more or less than a TOTAL LIE. And I trade in the truth these days. Some might say the truth hurts, but I say "the truth will set you free" it certainly set me free from the slavery of the bottle.
cheers to you wishing.
|Posted by: pirate October 8, 2018, 2:10 PM|
|Wishing ..Every time you post with your progress it makes me feel proud of you. I am your cyber cheerleader lol.. Good on you for continuing with recovery and being committed. You are doing AWESOME...|
|Posted by: WishingWell October 11, 2018, 1:57 AM|
|Hi Guy's !
Thank you very much for the replies back to me . I loved them! lol @ cyber cheerleader :)
I'm just getting ready for bed and just checking in before I put on the movie La Bamba
and fall asleep.
Oh and one last thing. I was out the other night and this guy smelled like booze .
I now see what my mom meant by i smell like booze in the past.
|Posted by: WishingWell October 17, 2018, 9:29 AM|
|90 days !!!|
|Posted by: Overfifty55 October 17, 2018, 6:35 PM|
|Woo hoo 90 days is fantastic!! Congratulations 🎉🎊|
|Posted by: pirate October 18, 2018, 7:12 AM|
|Congratulations Wishing! Can you tell us how your life has changed in those 90 days? You are doing awesome! proud of you . keep up the good work...|
|Posted by: WishingWell October 19, 2018, 5:39 PM|
How my life has changed in the past 90 days?
Well... Let's see.. My overall demeanor has changed. I believe I've become pleasurable to be around ( So I'm told ). It feels good not having those horrible pains for alcohol. I use to get sharp pains in my heart and panic attacks have been at a minimum as before they'd occur multiple times a day where i felt like i was going to die. I don't wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air and running for a drink to calm me down quick. I have my day's and nights straight ( for the most part ) and not up all night drinking large amounts of alcohol being loud and obnoxious to only wake up and do it all over again. I feel as if my body has been hydrated as before it was depleted of water. 90 days thought.. 92 to be exact... I have to say i feel pretty good and proud of myself. I know every day can be nerve racking but i think about how better off i am now versus how i used to feel before those 90 days.
I'd like to thank all of you for checking in on me and being there for me.
It actually plays a major role in my sobriety knowing I have this right here and you guy's who have my back. I don't want to let myself down, my family, my health , or any of you guy's down. I want to continue feeling decent versus feeling like death ( Literally ) .
I hope you all have a wonderful day and night!
|Posted by: pirate October 21, 2018, 7:27 PM|
|Awesome stuff Wishing. This board was a God send and a life saver to me when I first went in recovery. I know and can understand how you feel when you come here and find support. There are many who were here back then who played a big part in my recovery. It is not as active now as it was back then with the coming of Facebook and other sites it has dwindled down to a slow pace but I still come here and I always will for as long as it is up and running. It is like a nesting place for me, ...the place where I learned to fly..For those who show up here I like to bring HOPE to those who are looking and to give back some of what was given to me. My advice, never compare yourself to another because you will either be looking up or looking down and you need to focus straight ahead. Find what works for you and work it and never give up on yourself and the life that was given to you for you are worth it.There is life after addiction and I think you are beginning to find that out for yourself. :) hooray from your cyber cheerleader lol|
|Posted by: Karraster October 23, 2018, 1:52 AM|
|So happy for you Wishing! Wow, reading this thread has been very uplifting and I relate to it. There is soooooo much to be grateful for each and every day... not being in a cloud of confusion, not waking up with dread or guilt for what transpired the day before, and being the kind of person a body can count on....the list keeps growing.
I loose track, but I think it's been around 5 years or so for me. I'm not much for dates or records, but I do remember very well coming here and the support I got from these lovely peeps. Pirate especially, and I'll always be so grateful. She made crystal clear to me that I can not ever take sobriety for granted, and I'm just one drink away from being right back where I was, so I don't dabble with it not a sip. My story may not be typical, I got down on my knees and asked the LORD to take away my desire, and BAM just like that, He did. It was still scary tho, being so unsure about what kind of life I could have without drink, almost like my life was over no more fun. Wondering if I would ever stop thinking about it all, all my waking moments. Plus the fact I had sunk so low, lots of relationships to rebuild, and I came close to loosing my a** on a business endeavor, had to turn that around, almost lost my husband...it was bad.
I did AA meetings for a while. I think the key is being honest with yourself, if you need face to face meetings you better go. Or like me I just talked to people I knew. Keep check of your thoughts. One morning, about a week or two in I awoke one morning and a voice inside my head said "are you really an alcoholic?" To this day I think that was the devil.
Oh and the smoking...I quit about a year and a half ago, wanna share about that. I came across a person named Joel, his motto NTAP. Never take another puff. So simple it sounds crazy, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. I've quit about 4 times in my life, all lasted about a year but I always made the mistake of taking just one puff. duh, that's all it took, and why I know not to take a sip either. I can honestly say I am so glad I do not drink or smoke I am free.
Remember, just keep coming back.
|Posted by: WishingWell October 27, 2018, 4:33 PM|
|Thank you so much everyone for writing back to me :)
100 DAY'S TODAY!!!!
|Posted by: pirate October 29, 2018, 12:00 PM|
|AWESOME! 100 DAYS IS GREAT! Keep on keeping on and spreading the hope and inspiration that will help encourage others . This week if you feel up to it take on a little project of some kind that you can do to help someone in need. It may be something as simple as helping someone take groceries to their car, visiting a shut in, bake a cake for someone or clean out a closet to give clothing to someone who needs it or food to a food bank. Take a look around and see who can use your help, kindness and smile... Hope you will have an awesome day and a wonderful sober week ahead....:)|
|Posted by: WishingWell November 1, 2018, 4:12 AM|
Its 3 am right now can't really fall back asleep. I'm a bit emotional right now thinking back how far I've came ( 105 days ) . Last night ( Halloween ) I was out with my mother for some dinner and there was a bar there and I just seen everyone sitting back enjoying drinks and pouring the beer on ice in a glass stein. I honestly missed it for a second as I zoned out at them and looking at every single one of them thinking myself they are having fun on Halloween. I would always drink on Halloween and have fun. Them the bartender asked me yes sir can i help you? I said WATER please. I don't know why it triggered me like that as I know I don't want it to be apart of my life. I guess this is just some of the hurdles in the obstacle course of sobriety.
I guess I'm just a bit lonely and depressed and alcohol would put a bandage on that feeling. But now that I think about it this original post 6 days 6 am I was much more depressed, emotional, sick, lonely, on the verge of death. I thank God for the strength he's given me to overcome the temptation and I thank him for the reminder of me being those people at the bar ( Not judging ) that would be at the bar stool drinking in excess and coming home stopping at the liquor store to buy hard liquor and more beers just to keep the party going. Then waking up in the morning hurting and doing it all again.
Thank you all for listening and I apologize if I don't respond to your posts as I do read them.
Lots of love,
|Posted by: pirate November 1, 2018, 9:12 AM|
|Hi Wishing ..What you experienced is very normal for a recovering alcoholic. I have 8 plus years and there are still times when the thought of drinking will pop in my head and sometimes it is triggered by seeing others drinking and having a good time. Sometimes it happens if there is a situation that is stressful or worrisome. BUT just because a thought pops in our head does not mean that we have to act on it. These are the times when we have to work our recovery a little more forceful . I am an alcoholic and I will always be an alcoholic , recovery doesn't change that fact as there is no cure for my disease . It can however be put in remission by working a strong recovery program combined with support and a willingness to share thoughts and urges as you just did. You will be fine, just don't dwell on the drinking thoughts and do your readings, work your program and always get outside of self by doing something to help another who can use your help. Another wee bit of unasked advice...NEVER forget your last drunk and where it took you.. You have yourself an awesome day! and be proud of your accomplishments!|
|Posted by: WishingWell November 6, 2018, 2:01 PM|
|Posted by: WishingWell November 10, 2018, 4:59 PM|
|Posted by: pirate November 10, 2018, 9:15 PM|
|AWESOME Wishing. So happy for you! How have your feelings both physically and mentally changed since you have gotten sober? Keep up the good work! and keep posting. It helps not only yourself by coming here but you also help others by bringing hope and inspiration. ..Take care and God bless....|
|Posted by: WishingWell November 16, 2018, 6:41 PM|
|4 Months Today!
I'm thankful for God giving me the strength to not drink.
I'm thankful for my family and giving my mom the best birthday gift 4 Months without a drop of alcohol.
I'm also thankful for this group and everyone who's posted and said helpful positive things to me. Thank you Pirate for checking up on me constantly.
|Posted by: pirate November 20, 2018, 9:44 AM|
|Congratulations Wishing. So very proud of your accomplishments .The more sobriety time you rack up the more rewards and benefits you will receive . Life doesn't have to be perfect to be good and not all days will be wonderful but what will be wonderful is that you will get to experience life sober. Look for the good in all situations no matter how bleak it might seem because it is only by finding gratitude that you can appreciate what you have . It has been my learning that no matter how bad a circumstance or a situation I might be experiencing , there is always someone who has it much worse. Again congratulations and remember there is someone many miles and oceans away who is your cyber cheerleader :)
|Posted by: WishingWell November 26, 2018, 8:44 PM|
|Pirate Thank you so much!!
I love reading what you write to me it makes me feel so good inside :)
Last night was a horrible night for me. I had a really bad Panic attack and normally I would go to booze to help me with it ( Trust me it crossed my mind) but i fought through it and just took my medication and an hour later I was alright.
Which brings me to 130 days today without any alcohol :)
|Posted by: WishingWell December 4, 2018, 7:03 AM|
|138 days today
I have to admit it hasn't been the easiest but if it's something you truly want then it's definitely obtainable!
|Posted by: pirate December 4, 2018, 11:13 AM|
|Congrats wishing and no it is not easy. As someone once said recovery is not for sissies. lol .. It does get easier and with time a new life will form . There will always be days that drinking thoughts will arise but they get further and further apart with time and then after a while the strength obtained from recovery becomes stronger than the addiction. You don't have to feed or entertain a thought just because it pops in your head. Choose do something about it instead. That might entail reading recovery material, going for a walk, attending a meeting, doing something to help another which I find is the best one to do and never ever forget where your addiction took you. Be proud of your accomplishments and continue with your journey. You got this!|
|Posted by: idgie December 10, 2018, 6:52 AM|
I just popped on this site for a quick minute - and you are still here and going strong. You made my day!!!!
I told someone at work the other day that I was 9+ years sober and they didn't believe me! Didn't think that was possible. Wow guess what it is! haha
I'm so thrilled for your new life, you definately deserve it and i love your positive approach as well.
|Posted by: WishingWell December 11, 2018, 4:25 AM|
|Wow Thank you so muuuuuch :)
I'm at 145 day's today. Last night I was out and was at a place that I used to drink at. I know the bartenders and she knew months ago that I was doing my best to stop drinking. She asked me tonight are you still doing it? I said YUP! 145 day's!!! She said good for you and also said to her friend he looks so good now, she said Ryan you look at lot better!!
It really made me feel good inside to hear that :)
She then asked me.. What made you quit? I replied back...It will kill you!
They both said I'm so happy for you!!
Thank you again from the bottom of my sober heart :)
|Posted by: WishingWell December 11, 2018, 4:27 AM|
Also congrats on the 9 + Years :)
Sorry I forgot to put that in my last post..
|Posted by: WishingWell December 13, 2018, 7:45 PM|
I love you all
|Posted by: WishingWell December 16, 2018, 12:54 PM|
|5 Months Today!|
|Posted by: pirate December 16, 2018, 4:20 PM|
|CONGRATULATIONS ! YOU ARE DOING AWESOME! Thank you for coming here and sharing . You are bringing HOPE to others and even though I don't know you , you make me feel proud.. KEEP IT UP....
|Posted by: idgie December 20, 2018, 7:00 AM|
|Here's to a merry, sober Christmas to you all|
|Posted by: WishingWell December 21, 2018, 5:47 AM|
|Ty very much! Happy holidays to you all!
155 days ;)
I'm really proud of myself
|Posted by: WishingWell December 30, 2018, 7:39 PM|
It hasn't been the easiest lately for me. I've had a lot of stress and things go the wrong way for me recently. I've been having the urge to just give up, but I'm staying strong. I miss certain things and have been pretty hurt inside lately. I'm not giving up though. 164 days sober. I'm 1 week away from half a year.
Just giving everyone a heads up I'm still here.
|Posted by: sad eyes December 31, 2018, 6:25 AM|
|I have been following you since the start of your recovery, you have done so well, times can be challenging, think Xmas can be a very emotional time for many, you actually but a smile on my face, knowing sobriety can be done, my son has a drug addiction, I wish he would come on sites and share, ad I feel you can't do this yourself, anyway a happy new year to you,|
|Posted by: pirate January 1, 2019, 7:25 PM|
|hi wishing. Christmas,holidays , emotions, stress, all are triggers for a recovering alcoholic especially in early recovery. When the urge comes make a list of what you would be giving up if you took that first drink. FREEDOM.. The freedom to make choices, to respect yourself , to look after yourself and the freedom to not be chained to addiction. Play the tape to the end and never forget where alcohol took you. For someone who has experienced relapses in the past I can tell you it sucks, it gets worse and it is definitely not worth the escape that your disease is telling you to choose. Reach out for support, do something to help someone less fortunate than you or someone who can use your support and remember JUST FOR TODAY dont drink... still cheering for you....YOU GOT THIS !
|Posted by: WishingWell January 2, 2019, 5:48 AM|
|Hi it's me again :)
Ty so much for following me from the start it really means a lot to me. I apologize for sounding weak at times as I want to encourage others. Great news ! No drinking for me ;)
New Year's I went to a party with food and band and open bar and watched people drink all night. Im strong, I'm powerful, I'm winning this battle!
|Posted by: idgie January 2, 2019, 7:30 AM|
|One day at a time Wishing.
Happy sober New year - fantastic to see you doing so well. Its awesome!!!!
Had a great Christmas with family, remembered the whole day, didn't make an a** of myself and didn't fight or argue with anyone. Awesome stuff.
Oh yeah - and had a really good time!! LOL. had a night out in Sydney too, on the town dinner and a late night concert, all sober. life is good.
Its great to realise we can do normal stuff, have fun and be social without having to drink. Good on you for experiencing this too Wishing.
|Posted by: WishingWell January 11, 2019, 12:40 AM|
|Ty all for who's following me.
175 days today!
|Posted by: pirate January 11, 2019, 10:43 AM|
|HAPPY NEW YEAR Wishing. Hope it will be a SOBER 2019 for you with all the perks of sobriety. You are doing awesome! You can do this.. one day at a time and remember life doesnt have to be perfect to be good. still cheering you on!|
|Posted by: WishingWell January 15, 2019, 3:52 AM|
|Posted by: pirate January 15, 2019, 9:37 PM|
|AWESOME! half way to the one year mark.Keep up the good work, be proud of your accomplishments and remember to keep it ONE DAY AT A TIME and NEVER forget where the booze took you. Often you have spoken about how you drink water. It reminds me of a country song. not sure if you like country music or not but am sharing a song with you that was very important to me in early recovery...
wine into water.
|Posted by: WishingWell January 28, 2019, 5:17 AM|
It's been a little bit since I've updated. I've been battling trying to quit smoking. This last time I lasted two weeks and I'm back smoking again... ugh..
But... I'm still sober from alcohol 193 day's!!
I'll be in the 200s in a week ;)
|Posted by: idgie January 28, 2019, 6:49 AM|
|Way to go Wishing! Cheering you on!!!
Are you still drinking water? I like mineral water with a slice of lime in it. Sooo refreshing in this hot weather.
|Posted by: pirate January 28, 2019, 10:01 AM|
|Congratulations Wishing! You are doing awesome! You will beat the smoking too. I was sober for 2 years before I finally conquered the smoking battle. I had to remember that I didnt give up drinking to die from smoking. YOU CAN AND WILL DO IT. Still cheering for you and I always will for as long as you keep coming to this board. hugs....|
|Posted by: WishingWell January 31, 2019, 4:08 AM|
|Hi Idgie and Pirate,
Idgie yes I still love my water. I can't go a day without it and buying 4. 24 packs every time I go shopping lol. I wish I had hot weather, right now it Is wind chill of like negative 50. Crazy cold! Pirate it's very difficult as you know to quit smoking. I totally get what you meant by did I quit drinking to die from smoking? I think you said something along those lines. I'm going to do it soon! Hugs back to you.
I love the support and friendship from you both.
|Posted by: WishingWell January 31, 2019, 4:24 AM|
|Oh and it's 196 days today :)
|Posted by: pirate February 3, 2019, 2:11 PM|
|Awesome Wishing! Keep on gathering up those days and strengthening your sobriety. Every day that goes by you are getting stronger and stronger and your disease is becoming less powerful.. YOU CAN DO IT... cheering you on as always!|
|Posted by: WishingWell February 4, 2019, 5:12 AM|
|Posted by: idgie February 11, 2019, 7:27 AM|
Go Wishing, go wishing, go wishing!! LOL 200 days and counting.
My partner celebrates his 5 years sobriety day soon - we are looking forward to that. And then a couple more weeks and we will be getting married. Woot!!
So many great things happening thanks to being sober.
Hugs to you and keep up the good work one day at a time
|Posted by: WishingWell February 13, 2019, 12:39 AM|
|Awe congratulations on everything :)
I'm still hanging in lol
|Posted by: pirate February 16, 2019, 8:25 PM|
|Congrats on staying sober wishing and Idgie congrats on your wedding. Keep on doing the good work wishing.. One day at a time and before you know it your addiction will be a bad memory...YOU GOT THIS!|
|Posted by: WishingWell February 25, 2019, 3:12 AM|
|Posted by: idgie February 26, 2019, 7:44 AM|
|You are rocking it!
We were at a meeting tonight to celebrate my partner's 5 years sober which was on sunday. And another member was 34 years sober. Such awesome stuff.
11 days to the wedding...
Wishing I love logging on and seeing your posts of success and happiness. makes my night.
|Posted by: pirate February 26, 2019, 9:24 PM|
|AWESOME STUFF WISHING! As Idgie has said I love coming and seeing you post your continued sobriety. Congrats to you both... you on your sobriety and Idgie for her upcoming marriage... God is good!|
|Posted by: WishingWell March 7, 2019, 6:43 PM|
|TY TY TY !!!!
Today marks 231 Day's!!!
|Posted by: pirate March 8, 2019, 7:36 PM|
|AWESOME! YOU ARE DOING GREAT WISHING! You make this ol girl feel happy! Keep up the good work...|
|Posted by: WishingWell March 11, 2019, 7:11 PM|
|Pirate, Idgie, and others have helped me with this process.
I want to thank you guys so much for being so positive and staying in contact with me!
|Posted by: pirate March 15, 2019, 3:16 PM|
|AWESOME! WISHING.. keep up the good work. You are counting your days I am counting your months lol.. proud of you!|
|Posted by: idgie March 24, 2019, 7:05 AM|
awesome stuff glad to see you are still here. I have been absent from the site because I've been busy getting married and going on my honeymoon! Woohoo - gifts of sobriety.
Had a fantastic wedding and I remember it all and it was amazing and everyone happy and having a good time and no drunks and no arguments and no problems. Love the sober life.
Seeing you still doing well makes my day Wishing, I have to go backto work in the mornng so seeng your post has put the cap on a fabulous 2 weeks.
|Posted by: pirate March 26, 2019, 7:16 PM|
|Wondering where Wishing is? Congratulations Mrs Idgie...|
|Posted by: WishingWell March 28, 2019, 2:26 AM|
|Wishing is right here with lots of congratulations and love to Idgie and also you my cyber cheerleader pirate lol.
Today marks 252 days without a drop. I was actually on my phone right now noticing that July 19th is not that far away and it will be 1 year for me!
Also want to add. Though I might not post daily. I do come on here almost everyday looking for you guys lol.
|Posted by: pirate March 29, 2019, 6:25 AM|
|AWESOME Wishing! Proud of you and you should be too. Keep on doing what you are doing because it is producing results! JUST FOR TODAY..one day at a time.. cheering you on! hugs...|
|Posted by: idgie April 1, 2019, 7:00 AM|
|Well its April Fool's day here - but I am a fool no longer and said bye bye to the booze well over 9 years ago.
Phew, relieved to see you their Wishing.....counting and counting the days.
Raining here today and the weather has turned cool. We had drought breaking rain a few days ago - halleluah for our desperate farmers. anyway glad to see the back of summer.
Been bike riding and BBQing and generally loving life.
what's floating your boat these days Wishing??
|Posted by: WishingWell April 8, 2019, 1:11 AM|
|Prayers needed for my mother. Biopsy was taken for possible melanoma cancer. I'm strong, but not that strong.
|Posted by: pirate April 8, 2019, 4:32 PM|
|Hi. Wishing. Prayers said for your mama. Remember in tough times to drink would make the circumstances a nightmare and right now your mama needs love and support. Work your program and stay one step ahead of your disease because it will knock you down when you are at your must vulnerable. TAke care and keep checking in...|