Why I Hate Suboxone But Am Thankful Too
Posted: May 10, 2017, 7:03 AM

Posts: 59
Joined: March 26, 2017

Hey bud. Maybe try and lower your dose to half a mg. It's not easy but it's nothing like a heroine withdrawl. I also feel the same with depression and have almost no hope for a normal life. But I believe my sober life problems come from quiting heroine not suboxone. Hang in there. Weed might help give you a short vacation from depression.
Posted: May 23, 2017, 12:49 PM

Hey guys, just wanted to know how everyone is doing? I'm in recovery myself and have almost 4 years clean. I'm a writer for addiction recovery topics and came across this thread while looking for some inspiration. I also happen to be a recovery coach but haven't made use of my certification.

I know this thread is older, but I was just worried and wanted to check up.

My wife has been on suboxone for four years now and while I wish she wasn't, I know it's for the best.

For the man who's having a really hard time with his power about to be shut off, I would try a different doctor. If you can't afford it, go to the ER and tell them you're suicidal. I'm fairly certain most states must put you on a 72-hour psych hold (I've done it myself). There you can meet with a case manager and tell them your story. They can set you up with continuing care.

Personally, I have Panic Disorder which I partly blame for my alcoholism. I moved states and my new doctor wanted to take me off benzos. I switched doctors and told him flat out -- if you try to take me off of them, I will drink again. It has happened over and over and over. And now I am finally stable.

I don't know if anyone will ever read this but I'm here to talk. (:
Posted: May 24, 2017, 7:49 AM

Posts: 59
Joined: March 26, 2017

Hi Aimee, welcome to this site. I think this site needs you. You possess a positive energy from what I read. So your clean and am in recovery that's awsome, so good to hear. But you say your still on benzos? Is that like every day? From what I've read on this site a lot of people here had to deal with quiting benzos. Your not alone. In your future is this something you think you will have to deal with?
Posted: May 29, 2017, 10:47 PM

Hello everyone my name is DeSoto I just wanted to share with you all a little bit about my story and experience with suboxone I started off on hydrocodone Lortab Percocet Norco you name it then move to Roxy's when that became too expensive of a habit I thin turn to heroin all of this was an effort to self-medicate my bipolar 2 condition I stay habitually depressed 24/7 to the point of Suicidal Thoughts almost every day and night from the time I wake to the time I close my eyes to sleep when I discovered opiates it was like a miracle I had been on every antipsychotic every antidepressant every medication on the market and combinations alone all of it and nothing seemed to help it all only made me feel like I soulless zombie with no emotions I literally could have seen my mother get hit head-on by speeding train and not even Flinch or have an emotion behind it after about five years of heavy opiate in two and a half years of heavy heroin and Fentanyl use I thin turn to Suboxone as I have heard it was a miracle drug and saved so many lives I was on Suboxone for about two years when circumstances cause me to have to abruptly quit without tapering or anything what happened next was the most excruciating hell I have ever experienced in my entire existence on this planet the withdrawal in detox was worse than any opiate withdrawal I had ever gone through in my entire life and the length of it was just inhumane for the legitly four months every morning every night my bed was soaking wet with sweat vomit puking diarrhea the cold shakes no appetite constant depression I wanted to die that just led me to go right back to using heroin shortly afterwards I moved back to the Suboxone and stayed at a lower dose as I had been on prescribed 36 mg a day an obscenely way too high dosage when I went to a different doctor and told him my story he cut me down to 2 milligrams a day which was just amazing it helped and did exactly the same thing that the 32 mg a day did and surprisingly the Suboxone like the opiates completely got rid of my depression and help stabilize my moods without the need for additional mood stabilizers or antipsychotic drugs however I decided that after being on 2 milligrams of Suboxone for about three years at that point that I wanted to try and be without anything and just do it naturally no substances in my body as I felt using Suboxone with still not being clean and not being sober I checked myself into a two week detox and then completed a 30 day rehab while in detox I had to legitly lie to them and tell them I was on heroin and actually did heroin for a week and a half before detox to push as much of the Suboxone out of my system as possible as no Treatment Center would take me for suboxone detox every place was quote on quote and medical detox facility where Suboxone was used to wean people off of heroin while in detox I refused Suboxone completely and went through horrible withdrawals even during the 30 days of rehab I felt like I wanted to die and honestly felt that nothing was being accomplished as I was surrounded by 45 other men ages ranging from 18 to 65 who did nothing but talk about drug and War Stories 24/7 all it did was make me want to get out and use the second I got out of there because all anyone did was talk about using how to use Etc I honestly learned more about how to use how to get it how to score and everything else that I've not even know previously rehab to me was nothing but an educational session for how to score dope easier and do it better shortly after getting out of rehab I went back to heroin and had a fatal OD I was dead for 45 minutes before I was revived and brought back to life and sent back to another 3 week detox psych unit when I returned home I stayed clean for two weeks and eventually went back to the heroin because of the debilitating depression that I experienced every day of my life I have just recently gone back to a new Suboxone doctor what I like to call a drug dealer in a lab coat where I am on 2 mg a day the doctor's visits or $350 cash no insurance accepted however my insurance does cover my Suboxone prescription I am currently prescribed for 8 mg tabs a day of which I only take 1 8 mg tab split it into four pieces and only take a quarter of a piece a day I don't tell the doctor this because obviously the cost for the doctor's visits is so astronomically high that I want him to prescribe me as much as possible so that after another two or three months of being prescribed for pills a day I can just stop going and I'll have over a Year's worth supply of Suboxone since I'm only taking 2 mg a day what I wanted to say is for me I have two things going for me or should I say two things working against me I have a mental illness which I try to self-medicate which then led to an addiction because the opiates are the only thing that relieve my constant depression I thought for the longest time that I was a weak person for not being able to be happy for myself by myself without the use of a drug but I have come to find out that taking a drug each day that is prescribed to keep me off of the dope and also keep my depression and moods stable that there is nothing wrong with this it's like somebody who has heart disease or high blood pressure having to take medicine and does not make them any weaker or less of a person to need to take a medicine to stay healthy along with the daily medication I'm also prescribed Seroquel at night and during the day which helps me actually sleep since I suffer from insomnia and Klonopin at night as well and PRN as needed throughout the day for anxiety and panic attacks I have tons of these online meetings because the in-person NA meetings I have attended I am legitimately shamed and told that I am not really clean and I'm not doing the right thing since I am dependent on a substance or a medication such as Suboxone so I'm hoping that this online forum and these online meetings will serve a purpose as some sort of support system which I dare dreadfully need if there is anyone else out here or on these forms with a similar story or situation I would love to hear what you have to say and I would love to know that I'm not alone in this because I know there has to be others in my same similar situation thank you so much for listening DeSoto.
Posted: August 20, 2017, 3:50 PM

Posts: 46
Joined: August 16, 2017

I also have pills and not strips. I don't have a way of cutting them exactly... I did the best I could... it gets very hard to cut them when you get past .5mg. Just do your best and in hoping that my body will get adjusted to the lower dose without too much WD.... hope dies last, this is what we say in Ukraine... when I cut my 8mg pills down to .13mg it becomes just a dust... I've heard you can dissolve them in water but I decided against it . Good luck
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