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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: May 30, 2019, 12:23 AM
Its really a long drive an hour and a half. He would be spending a lot of money on gas. Its great he has a job offer though. I hope he can leave his ex gf alone now.
Their logic really gets affected. My daughter's logic has gone out the window. After I talk to her I just shake my head and want to cry. Most times I do. Its sad. | ||
Posts: 132
Joined: December 30, 2018
Posted: May 30, 2019, 3:28 AM
I am also on the thoughts as everyone else, 1 1/2 hours is a long drive, 3 hours on top of his working day, it would be a Long day, also petrol, at the end of the day he has to make the desision,
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: May 31, 2019, 8:49 PM
He got out yesterday evening, spent the night in a hotel because the impound yard was closed. Went this a.m. & found out they IMPOUNDED his truck & are holding it for 30 days. He didn't know why though, I looked it up he has 2 tickets that are in Failure to appear status. Because one was not having his drivers license in possession, they suspend the license even though he has a valid license in another state! So, he has to go to court, show his valid DL & an order from the Judge ordering his truck released for hardship.... Geez, it's ALWAYS something!
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: May 31, 2019, 8:51 PM
He also checked on the job & they said "no thank you"... I think that is for the best
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: June 2, 2019, 10:17 PM
It’s always complicated. You think u checked all the boxes when u got the truck out of impound a few weeks ago, and then, surprise! It’s there again and more complicated. It doesn’t stop... ugh. Start detaching again. He needs to rely on his sober living support system.
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: June 3, 2019, 9:46 AM
Yes, NY2FL - it's a never ending abyss sucking the happiness out of my life. Last night he called - FINALLY made it up to the Sober Living house, signed a new contract & said he had to go to the store & who did he see? Her! 45 miles from her house & near the Sober Living. I don't believe him - I never believe him. We are leaving on a WELL DESERVED vacation to Alaska & Canada next Sunday, we will be gone 3+ months & will have limited cell reception & internet. Someone is going to have to man up & handle his own sh**. Last night he said he wanted to move to Alaska & work on a crabbing boat.... whatever son! Oh, he also wants to go to AZ & visit his older brother. The one he cursed out, called ever filthy, foul obscenity he could think of & told him that if he didn't help him "his blood (my addict son) would be on his hands. It's like he doesn't remember the things he said to all of us because none of us have heard an apology.
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: June 6, 2019, 6:45 PM
Enjoy your summer vacation!
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: June 6, 2019, 8:24 PM
Yes, have a great time!!! Sounds awesome!
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Posts: 132
Joined: December 30, 2018
Posted: June 8, 2019, 7:37 AM
Mtnmom yes sounds like a well deserved break Alaska sounds beautiful enjoy
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: June 8, 2019, 8:59 AM
So the never ending swirling abyss of s*** continues to suck us down like a bottomless pit.... the sheriff's hold on the truck was a mistake & they released it. When he went to get it from the impound yard & they agreed I could pay the fees (again) & the sheriff was waiting & arrested him again for violation of the court order, apparently he again try to contact the ex gf (victim of the restraining order) I am exhausted, disgusted, hurt, angry. I KNEW I should have done it or anything for him, but I did. I'm angry at myself for daring to believe my darling drug addicted, psychotic son.....
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: June 8, 2019, 10:30 AM
Sorry mntmom....you're right, don't do anything for him again. He needs to suffer all the consequences of his choices. Helping him only hurts you and obviously (as you well know) does nothing to change or help him. I can't believe he's still bothering his ex after numerous arrests. Just like my daughter, I tell her, it's your life you are in charge of it. You can value it and enjoy it or you can keep running it in the ditch. So far, she's been running it in the ditch.
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: June 8, 2019, 1:46 PM
I know SallyAnna!! I do not get it! He just called, he is DEFINITELY humbled now & knows he's going to be in jail, if not prison, for a while! This all originated because the girl broke up because of his erratic drug induced behavior & he would NOT leave her house. She got the restraining order to get him to leave her alone & move out. He moved out but still would not leave her alone. That's when the arrests started.... 1st one - about 5 days after RO was issued, booked & released. 2nd one (about 2 weeks after RO issued) - 12 days in jail, 3rd one - 10 days in jail, 4th one (holy sh** I just remembered this is the 4th one!!!) 7 days after his release but he just called me & admitted that he sent her a voice mail on Sunday - 4 days after he was released.
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: June 8, 2019, 2:15 PM
Like Albert Einstein said, 'you can't solve a problem with the same mindset that got you into it'
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: June 8, 2019, 9:19 PM
I’m surprised they kept letting him out. My son has been in jail since about May 16. 3weeks for stealing a bag of potatoe chips. $250 bail. We have not bailed him out. He had an arrest one year ago, he was going to court once a month. So they might have put both case together. He might go to long term rehab if the judge decides that. Or he might stay in jail for 6 months. We really don’t know. I talked to him about 2 weeks ago. I keep missing his calls.
He said he stole a bag of chips, but maybe it was something else. Idk. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on June 8, 2019, 9:20 PM | ||
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: June 9, 2019, 10:06 PM
NY2FL - I think the ex-GF knows people in the Sheriff's Dept & unfortunately, lots of people working in the courts know me. It is never said out loud, but I think people look at him differently because I had a good reputation when I worked there, I was the district manager. He's not being arrested for drug offenses & to look at him, you CANNOT tell he's an addict. These offenses are STUPID!!!!! All are Contempt of Court, all misdemeanors. The help he has received from everyone didn't help him at all, in his narcissistic, meth damaged mind he's NEVER been held accountable for long. Even today, he called me a couple of times. Angry today that he's going to lose everything & could I PLEASE coordinate SOMEONE getting his car out of impound (no one is willing to pay the NEW impound fees of $50 a day. His sober living manager tried calling the Sheriff & they said we have to have the license plate number (we don't & son doesn't know it), called the tow yard & we have to have a signed release from the sheriff, which they won't do without the license number.... So, the red flags are telling us that 1. DON'T DO IT & 2. he's dug himself into a hole that NO ONE can do anything about. My husband is having a VERY hard time - logically he knows there is nothing more we can or should do, emotionally he needs to help his son however he can. Thanks to all you parents & partners here - you have helped me learned to try to stop enabling. I'm not good at it, but I'm getting there. Logically I know my "help" has NOT & my son needs to experience this NOW if he's ever going to improve his life.... No one EVER has spoke to me or treated me (and my family) SO disrespectfully, hurtfully & with ZERO remorse... EVER in my 61 years....
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: June 9, 2019, 10:19 PM
It seems to me this just becomes a way of life for them.....'winging it'. They 'wing it' just to get by...it's like an obscure art form and they're really good at it.
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