| next > | post replypost new topic |
|
Posted: December 6, 2017, 10:52 AM
Hello,
We've been intensely trying to help my son for six months. He sleeps at a relative's house, but basically is never there. Just uses it for sleep/food/support money. NOTHING has worked and he is now at a new bottom. No job, quit school, lost his close friends, looks horrible (physical health worsening)....sleeps all day/out all night. It is SO SAD. We are giving him an ultimatum today that he either needs to go inpatient treatment, or he has to leave the relative's house and ours. He basically would be on his own. There is no other choice, because if we don't do this, he will continue on this pattern, which is not fair to him or the family. Given his pattern, I am assuming he will chose 'no inpatient' and say, 'I will live where I want'. So, this could get ugly, involve the police. I really believe he will try and force his way into our homes, including the relative that tried to help. So, any advice appreciated. And, good thoughts!!! | ||
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: December 6, 2017, 6:01 PM
Hi Parenting, I logged on today and thought I would update my situation. I could have typed exactly what YOU said!!!
We have spent 8 months pretending and hoping everything will turn out OK. being supportive and trying to steer the boat in the right direction, while giving some freedom since he was working. use of car to go to work - but he used it to go wherever he wants. a tank of gas here and there... always we said - what's going on, this does not make sense, encouraged him to go to psyc dr -- unfortunately we think he is just getting meds and idk if he is taking them or selling them - they never make it to the medicine cabinet at home. we have been trying to figure this out for a long time. Time to stop spinning our wheels. most of the summer he lived else where, but still would come home sometimes. lost job in Oct. Got new job, part-time. sleeps all day cause he says he cant sleep at night. several nights he would be home by 930pm. whew - we thought we saw a change... then away for a few days... the final straw - he got some unemp checks and a check from work, he lied and did not tell us and did not pay us back anything, and wont even make a $25 payment on a credit card. The blame game - "Its all our fault for being on his back everyday. we are too stressful. that's why he is depressed and has anxiety. and so on. Geezsh. past month I have asked him to sign up for Medicaid and go to Recovery Treatment Dr's. He needs recovery - the dr's he goes to do not know the truth. he says ok, but does not make a move to do so. he has been in rehab twice and does not want to go to "classes" again. I have slowly realized HE does not want treatment as much as we want him to be. We also need to ask him to leave. I know he has very slim options on where to go. ultimatum - recovery, or he is on his own. we can not let him in our house anymore. I do not trust him. I am afraid too. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on December 6, 2017, 6:28 PM | ||
Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: December 6, 2017, 7:09 PM
I'm sorry for you both because you are always so helpful to others on here and for you to be going through this again is just awful. Always something happens at this time of year. I'm just waiting to see what will happen next at my end. If there's one thing we know it's that they always seem to manage and get by. Life goes on for them whether their living on the street or not. It's like they all help each other with places to stay. Don't hesitate to call the police if your frightened or being threatened or bullied. Get back to the basic way of thinking about what you'd do if this was a stranger doing this to you. Because you know what, their like strangers. They have changed so much in how they think and act now. We are not important parts of their lives anymore. Drugs are first and foremost in their lives. I hope you can try to talk them into doing something about their drug addiction but you know they have to want it first. God bless you both and stay strong even if you have to fake it to yourself. I do this and eventually i get where i believe it. Meanwhile if you need to cry get it out and get it over with and start a new day with a new strength. It will help to release all that stress and sadness. Your both strong women and can handle this. Remember when the going gets tough, the tough get going! That's you guys!! Your in charge! Not them! Take care, thinking of you both. Mary.
| ||
|
Posted: December 6, 2017, 8:30 PM
Thanks for the responses!
It went about as expected, but without the violence/anger (at least not yet). He basically denied everything constantly. "you're not going to school"-"I am going to school". "You haven't been to school in a week."-"Yes, I have". And, on and on and on. There's been misunderstandings; the system is out to get him; he's been wronged, etc. He is not doing drugs; he treats us well.... Eventually, he just said, "ok" to everything and left. Expect he will be back tonight. | ||
|
Posted: December 6, 2017, 9:53 PM
I, too am sorry to hear things are at this stage. I had to put my son and his gf out a month ago. It was ugly, but no police involvement anyway. It got even uglier several weeks later when he realized I am sticking to my guns. Not being nasty, but extremely firm. No contact at all now, which is hard during holiday season. It does get easier. We saw each other on the street today, and I did not fall to pieces, and he did not verbally attack me. Try to take time for things that feel normal. Sending peace and strength, Libby
| ||
Posts: 243
Joined: August 18, 2016
Posted: December 6, 2017, 9:54 PM
@Parenting2 and NY I am so sorry to hear that you are both struggling with the horrible decisions that active addicts bestow on their families. As an addict who is in long term remission, I can say I honestly did not want to hurt my loved ones. However, when I was active I couldn't see that I was hurting anyone other than myself. After recovery began, I had to face up to the hurt I had caused..whether or not I meant to do it wasn't the point. The point was I did and had to take responsibility to heal those relationships.
I have said this many, many times on here, but it is imperative to stop ALL enabling! It goes against everything in a mother to stop "helping" (I am a mother now too, so I do understand the dilemma!). However, every time you step in, every time you pay our bills, call our jobs, give us a place to live, give us cash for this and that, it stops us from reaching recovery. I am not saying that you are responsible for our addiction...we alone are! But every time you try to "help" us it sends a message that you do not believe we are capable of managing our lives. We probably have given you reason to believe this, but we need to learn how to live and it is ours to learn. An addict can not learn his way out of addiction if he/she isn't allowed to feel the full weight of their behavior. When my family finally stopped ALL enabling, it took me at least a year before I really believed them, for every other time they had threatened to put me out, cut my money off etc., they always caved. If that has been your pattern be prepared to hold a firm line, perhaps for a very long time, before your addict knows you are serious and they begin to take responsibility for where they are (or are not!) in life! You have to somehow be ok with knowing it may get a lot worse before it gets better. But, you need to remove yourself from the front row of the drama. I'm sure there will be health issues, credit down the toilet, legal trouble etc. but you can't save an addict from consequences. Every time you do, you allow the addiction to continue longer. If you have any questions about the steps my family took, just ask. I can't believe how quickly they found recovery from enabling...I was a bit slowe in my learning! I was in active addiction for 18 years. I am beginning my 5th year of sobriety. We can and do recover and there is hope for everyone. I remember one day, before I was sober when I finally realized that my family was no longer co-signing my bullsh*t anymore. I was calling everyone for money, but they were all way too busy for me. My mom was out with friends, my husband and daughter were away, my dad was at a concert. They all told me "I'm sure you will figure it out. You are a smart girl!". I clearly remember thinking, they are all having a blast and I am broke and sick...what the hell.....it was one of my turning points...many more followed and recovery came with it. Also, just remember that addiction is much more about the way we behave and interpret the world around us then it is about the substances we ingest. I know most addiction treatment is focused on detox and abstinence, but be aware that the stopping of drug use is not always the first step in recovery. I had lots of therapy, lots of behavior changes and life changes before I was able to stop using. You may not see the use of drugs stop until significant changes in other areas happen first. Not all recovery haopens in a predictable fashion. Anyway, hang tough! Not enabling...not handing an extra 10 bucks here and there, not allowing an active addict live rent free with no responsibilities, allowing disrespectful language etc. is the MOST LOVING THING you can do! | ||
|
Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: December 6, 2017, 10:04 PM
I went through this same thing 18 yrs ago. My daughter could look me right in the eyes and tell me lie after lie that it made me begin to doubt what i knew as a fact. I even had the office at the school call me if she didn't show up for school in a day. They were very good about that. But in the long run it did no good anyway. They do whatever they want to in the end because they see the other druggies in school doing what they want too. That's the "cool crowd" when really their all idiots following each other like sheep. That principle had no right talking to you like he did too. It doesn't matter if you stay home or don't stay home. If they hang with the wrong crowd eventually they'll try drugs. That's what I think. My daughter always went to a house with others after school everyday. Took me awhile to figure it out, but she would skip school and hang there. Chances are your son is at someone's house hanging with others. He stays overnight or comes home when he wants. Some of these houses have adults in them that poorly supervise their kids and let them do whatever they want. It's terrible how these bad parents make it hard for the good ones like us because they want to be "cool" to their kids and their friends. There's that word again..."cool"!! I hate it! Your doing a good job P and it's hard, I know. But it's all you can do because it's like "on the job training" or "life experience" you do what you can but be tough. Let him see there's another side to you when push gets to shove and you won't stand for his nonsense. He's probably testing how far your let him go. Hoping he can be like his drug buddies and do what he wants. I'm sorry P. Stand your ground and it's your way or the highway. Is he 18 now? Mary.
| ||
|
Posted: December 6, 2017, 10:18 PM
Thanks so much to every single one of you, and I mean that sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
Yes, he is 18. And, he has decided to stop going to school, quit his job and...apparently thought he was going to crash at this relatives house, stay out all night and do drugs in the house. It has just gotten ridiculous. I basically have told him that I will always be here and I will always try to help if he wants to get off drugs or get help for depression/anxiety. He did tell me he would see a counselor. But, not holding my breath. I will help him with that, if he actually shows up. I do know he probably thinks that he can go back to the relatives house. He has not stayed with me for many months, because I searched his room and threw out all his stuff. I basically took my home back. I had to. And, of course, he interpreted that I invaded his privacy. It hurt because he must have convinced this family member that I was picking on him (He is GOOD at that). I am still a little sore about that, but...she finally saw the light. Smack in the face. Now, ironically, it is up to her to hold the line. I am not sure she can do it. She came to me and asked for help to talk. So, I did. He started sending me nice messages right before all this. They were so sweet. And, luckily, that little voice told me not to dive in...so I enjoyed the pleasant conversation, but tried to prep myself for something amiss. Sure enough-he was grooming me to take over for this relative. He knew it was coming. Had to break it to him that all rules still apply if you come to my house. Anyway, gutwrenching. I am tired. But, tomorrow is a new day! | ||
|
Posted: December 6, 2017, 10:31 PM
Lollee,
Thanks so much for your input. You really help me put things in the proper perspective. And, help me feel better about my decisions! Thank you! | ||
|
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: December 7, 2017, 6:02 PM
Hello All -
mandm - thank you for all of the thoughful and on-point postings. It helps to hear the support. lollee - thank you for your time and patience in posting your story again. It helps to give me hope and trust that I am doing the right things. parenting - my son too either agrees or disagrees with me, always a rebuttle about how he is right, we are wrong. no violence, or temper. I say - I am done with these money games. he says - I am too. and so on. libby - wishing you peace for the holidays. sometimes things do go easier than we thought they would. stay firm. update - for the past 3 days I have been accusing him of taking something. he said he didnt. I found the item today. I did apologize. feel awful but ok about it. but told him i'd like him to do family counseling with us to repair our relationships. I have been telling him he needs recovery counseling. maybe something will sink in. currently he is not home, might be doing a work/housing situation. idk if it was a temporary or will be permanent situation. I have started going to meetings and counseling - at a recovery center - people who know what we are going thru. his dad has been loosing his temper everytime son is around, and over this recent incident. We are relieved he did not take anything. so far he hasn't. If he had, our whole relationship would have been over. holidays - my husband was saying the same thing - how this blows up over the holidays. I think some part of it is that it goes on all year but at the holidays it is exacerbated bc we dont have time for it and we have no where to hide! keep working towards peace and sanity for ourselves! This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on December 7, 2017, 7:55 PM | ||
|
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: December 7, 2017, 8:44 PM
parenting - word of warning about your son seeing a dr for meds for depression and anxiety. my son started seeing dr's at a mental health office a few months ago. he sees a different dr and different therapist 1-2x a month. (no continuity there) but I don't think my son has told them of his addiction issues. just that he is depressed, and us parents are negative and stress him to the point that he needs medication in order to have a conversation w us.
It is true his dad looses his temper easily bc we have been going thru this for so long. I also have told my son I would never deny him medical care. I am starting to feel that biting my behind! He has been getting medication from the drs. but now does not have insurance. I realize he needs a whole recovery program, not just a dr to give meds. Now I want him to change to the drs at the recovery center. they will help him sign up for Medicaid and I will not have to pay for his care. he says OK but does not do it. at first I thought if he is seeing any dr, it would be a good thing. now I wish I had steered him to the drs at the recovery center instead of letting him choose on his own. | ||
|
Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: December 8, 2017, 2:28 PM
Hi NY. How are you doing today? I hope a little better. I would keep at your son to change doctors when the doctor subject comes up again. These doctors sometimes unknowingly do more damage than they help at times. They give out Xanax and other stuff thats just as addictive to our addicts as their drug of choice. The "network" (Drugs R Us) lets our addicts know how to fake their symptoms to get what meds they want or need nowadays. I don't know why I wrote that, habit I guess! I know you know this all already. I think you do a great job especially having gone through this before with your daughter. I still have my moments of doubt or second guessing my decisions and then I come on here for a little reassurance. We're only human and this problem doesn't come with a "How to" book. Hoping things get better for you. Take care. Mary.
Parenting2, I think the relative who took your son in had no right interfering. They have only helped prolong your son's drug use by letting him have the comfort of a home. The sooner your son learns the hard way the sooner he may see that drugs just aren't worth losing everything for. I hope he learns soon too. But this relative is sheltering him from the reality of being thrown out of his home by them taking him in. I know you don't want to see him on the street with no where to go. But the sooner he hits rock bottom, the sooner he'll want help. I think if I had thrown my daughter out at the beginning of her drug use I might not be here 18 yrs later. I might be wrong but I think they stand a better chance if you can get them to quit drugs early while their only starting on the wrong path. Good luck P, Mary. | ||
|
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: December 9, 2017, 8:24 PM
mandm -thank you for the thoughts - It helps to have a confirmation of my "guesses"
I was feeling crazy when I thought my son took something. and then I had to apologize to him. of course he is using that card when ever he can. "I cant go to your house bc you accuse me, how do you think I feel" and so on.... I regret that I accused him, but it was after he showed up two days in a row asking for $$... that's what happens when we loose their trust and doubt our sanity... maybe it will show him that he cant keep doing what hes doing. it has put a little more distance between us and him... maybe that's what he needs so he is not so comfortable coming and going as he pleases.... although he knew no one was home on Friday and we noticed someone ate a few of the blueberry muffins. my mind does so many flip flops, trying to figure out whats normal... we get used to his normal, which isn't normal. and then I think of real normal. real normal would be to have a conversation about regular day to day stuff - which he does not do... he just lays out statement after statement as to why everything is so hard, struggling, needs money for ... on and on.... we make him feel bad, stress him out. One day earlier this week I wanted to say " how much do you need to make you go away" --- I didn't say that, but thought it.... This is why I am seeking help for my self. so I can ask the experts " is this normal addictive behavior?" and see if they can suggest ways to cope and manage our relationship with him. and help my husband cope -- my husband just goes right to angry and says things like " You havent called your grandmother! You should be cleaning up her leaves!" and then I'm saying " that's not the problem here" and then son is saying "what's going on" the recovery center has a family counselor who has just been trained in CRAFT - something I saw on SMARTrecovery.org. I think I will be their first customer! Ps - Normal is - when your parents are a-holes, you pack up and leave and make it on your own. which has not happened. ps - my son's current drs just dx him w bipolar. goes in depressed and now he is bipolar! keeps getting meds, no improvement, is worse, home life is worse, relationship w parents is worse. no family counseling. great job doc's! but not entirely their fault - but yes still their fault - an hour a month and they throw guesses and meds at him - Don't they know there is a substance abuse epidemic going on and my son is a prime example! This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on December 9, 2017, 8:41 PM | ||
Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015
Posted: December 10, 2017, 10:35 AM
Hi ladies,
I haven't posted anything in awhile but check in now and then. Parenting2, I think you're doing the right thing in making sure there is no enabling going on with your son. The sooner he can hit bottom, the sooner he may decide to climb out of that hole. I wish I had found a group like this when my son was 18. I could have stopped the madness much earlier. NY, I'm glad you've found somewhere to go to meetings. Any support we can get for ourselves is a benefit to us and our kids. I have a recovery group in my town that does meetings once a week for anyone in the community. I haven't attended yet but am thinking I may. My son gets out of jail in February and I feel like all hell will break loose again. That brings me to my next thought about something Lollee said... Lollee, You are so right about the drugs just being a part of the problem. The addict's thought processes are really the issue. I agree that in depth counseling is needed. My son has been in jail since the end of June. He has been clean for over 5 months now but I can say with all certainty that I believe he will get out and use again pretty quickly. His mentality is still the same. I have been encouraging him to get out of jail and go into a rehab as a good transition. Of course, he says he doesn't need it. He says he's been attending the weekly AA meeting in jail but I don't know. His attitude is still the same... he knows what's best for him, he's just going to smoke weed instead, if he has no help from family he probably will end up using again, he'll probably have no choice but to keep being criminal, etc... All the same things he's always said. I just say to him that how he was doing things didn't work too well for him and it can't hurt to try something different. I've made sure he has phone numbers and addresses for several recovery groups. He's 31 years old. If he chooses to not try and make any arrangements, there is nothing I can do. Mary, You're so right. Sometimes we just have to fake being strong so that it helps us make do the right thing, that doesn't always feel right. Your advice is always spot on. The sad part is that like me, you've been dealing with it for so long and not much change in your daughter. The good part is that you've made changes in yourself, like I have, so that we don't have to be part of the madness. Hugs to all of you! The holidays aren't always that great for us because we think about how things should have or could have been... Enjoy your loved ones that are present at this moment in your life. Take it a day at a time. -------------------- Michelle | ||
|
Posted: December 10, 2017, 11:16 AM
Hi all,
Thanks for the conversation. It helps greatly knowing I am not alone. On the false accusing--it really is their problem at the heart of it. For example, my son used to "get me back" by doing strange things...you know, like pull leaves off a plant, etc. Or, hide my phone charger and then put it back a couple days later without telling me. I have falsely accused him of taking things about 3 times because of this behavior. When I find it or find out he had nothing to do with it, I always feel bad, but not TOO bad because he did create this situation. So, yes, we work on ourselves, apologize, work on jumping to conclusions. BUT, they also have to work on gaining back trust. That is part of the deal. In high school, I went through a period of lying constantly to hang out with friends my parents did not like. I got caught multiple times. Then, I wised up, but my Dad still did not trust me. When I got mad, he would say something like, "Well, you created a situation where I see you as dishonest. Work to change that". It made me so mad, and we, of course, don't want to falsely accuse. But, go easy on yourself, because both people have to be accountable. Hope that makes sense. Haven't had my coffee yet. : ) | ||
|
Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015
Posted: December 10, 2017, 1:50 PM
I'm like you on that one P. If I'm wrong, I'll apologize but I don't worry to much about it because years of lying, stealing and violence are a hard thing to overcome...especially when not much effort has been made in that direction. My son can find a way to justify every one of his actions but he has never genuinely tried to make amends.
-------------------- Michelle | ||
|
Posted: December 11, 2017, 12:23 AM
Well, things keep getting worse.
I really am curious as to others experience with police officers. Tonight, my son sent me a cryptic text that hinted at suicide. He has never done this, so I was concerned. Tried to find him. Friend said he was worried. That my son was acting out of it, talking to people that were not there. I called the police to say I was worried that he might be suicidal. VERY long story short, we found him. Belligerent, out of it, calling the police names, obnoxious, yelling. Obviously, disoriented, and on something. Even his friend, who usually is very secretive, told the police he clearly needed help, never seen him like this... The police said there was nothing they could do? We actually wanted him arrested for his own safety, but they said they could for disorderly conduct...but declined. They let him go in this state. I am just curious if others have had this experience? I never thought you could scream at police, call them names, fight them off and STILL walk away. | ||
Posts: 640
Joined: April 4, 2016
Posted: December 11, 2017, 7:04 AM
Sending love & hugs P. I'm so sorry about what is happening with your son. Wrapping you both in prayer.
Your post shows what I have experienced . . . the police don't want to be responsible for drug addicts or anything remotely messy, or God forbid, complicated. I've heard stories of addicts being in custody and then going into withdrawal. Because the cops don't want to be bothered . . . citing extra paperwork . . . they wanted to release this person without getting him/her any medical care. Yep . . . they just wanted to throw this person on the street even though s/he was noticeably sick. Is this driven by fear . . . by prejudice . . . by laziness . . . by learned callousness?? Who knows. But it is appalling how one human being can treat another. And it is particularly disturbing because cops are supposed to serve and protect ALL. The police can only arrest folks if they have probable cause to believe that a crime has been committed. So . . . Add to the "I don't give a F*&k about addicts" mentality the fact, from what you said, that the only crimes he committed are being high, improper conduct and maybe assault on the officer. The last I checked there is only a law against being high and driving a car; there is no law against being high as a kite and peacefully walking down the street. So, all the cops had was the improper conduct charge. A misdemeanor, at best. In my state, he would have gotten a ticket and been released on his own recognizance in a matter of an hour or two. To commit assault(generally) you need 3 things: (i) to touch another person (ii) with intent to harm them and (iii) actually cause an injury. Did he cause any injuries to the cop? Does he have a prior record? Because he was high as a kite, he did not have the necessary criminal mind. So even if he did cause injury and even if he hit or scratched the cop, no crime was committed because he couldn't form the intent. Make sense? Then again. . . if he doesn't have an adult record the cop could have thought he was doing him a favor by not creating the first entry. (how I hope that this IS the story but how I doubt that alturistic reasons motivated the cop.) P . . . I'll be honest. Right now I am so pissed at those officers. How could they? Now I see why cops got the nickname "pigs." they have a duty to protect people from being a danger to themselves and/or others. The cops aren't supposed to arrest these types of folks; but as part of their "community care-taking" function or role (important cop buzz-word) they are to take them to a hospital or get them appropriate care. Did you get the officer(s)' badge numbers? Their names? Their car numbers? I would report them to their internal affairs department. Even if you did not get this specific information, write the chief of your police department. S/he probably doesn't know what is going on in the streets. Your letter will hopefully be the wake=up call the department needs to get it right the next time. Write the mayor. Write your local paper. Write your attorney general. Post on FB. (I'd try The Addicts Mom group.) Call this discrimination against addicts! Remind your local elected officials that you pay taxes and then demand proper services!! If you need help writing the letter, let me know. I'll be happy to help. All that I just said, will not help your baby today or tomorrow. I know. And I’m so sorry that I’m not comforting or encouraging right now. But i hope it empowers you. I hope i explained the law, as i understand it. So sorry if I got on my soapbox. My mouth is still hanging open from your story. I hope that I have provided you some ammunition against the cops. Sorry I cannot be more helpful in other ways. Hang in there, P. Lynn xoxo This post has been edited by hurtingmom on December 11, 2017, 8:57 AM -------------------- I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun. I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair. But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more. In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved | ||
|
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: December 11, 2017, 9:40 AM
Hi - what lynn said is true. I will add my own 2 cents. Police are not social workers. their job is to get the problem off the street and pass it on to the appropriate "organization" - jail or hospital. If your son said he was suicidal they should call the pych hospital to evaluate him and bring him to a psychiatric hospital. the police are not baby sitters and do not want the complications of an addict in their custody. they go thru this over and over. they see that the addict has caused their own problems. so the police job is to arrest or call ambulance. otherwise it is not their problem. on some level it is like "you (addict) caused this problem and now you want our help" maybe they could have called an ambulance, but if he refused to get in the ambulance, there's nothing they can do.
it is a judgement call at that moment. I don't have experience w bringing my child to the ER when in that kind of state. I dont think the ER would take him. I think you would have to get him admitted to the psyc ward? Also, at the ER, they probably dont have the patience or staff to deal with it. they are there treating people with medical problems. It is a really tough spot for everyone. So sorry you had such a rough night. | ||
|
Posted: December 11, 2017, 11:53 AM
Thanks all. I really appreciate the support. This is a horrible situation for everyone. I have called and lodged complaints this morning, if nothing else to just vent. ha. Poor people I am calling.
They did call the ambulance. He passed all the tests they asked him, so they left. I did show them the text he sent where he said he was going to end it all. She said he was denying that now. He told them someone else must have sent me the text, because he did not own a cell phone. Of course, they did not believe this, but seemed to satisfy them that he was not suicidal. I guess what alarmed me was he has NEVER been suicidal. In fact, I have sort of counted myself lucky that he has never been. I have never had to worry about that. But, he recently had a string of setbacks that have increased his depression. So far, instead of helping him see his bottom, it is driving him way further into trying to disappear into drugs. Last 4 days, I have seen another all time low for him. He is not in his right mind in anyway. Hair a mess and dirty. No coat. He keeps texting on and off that he is done with everybody; that he is in a dark place...Usually the text is jumbled, so I am sure is way out of it. Just hard as a mom, because never hearing these things and suddenly hearing them...He is at a new bottom and I am afraid he is just going to end it. Plus, all these people he is hanging around have arrests. So, they don't want any problems. They would NEVER call and ambulance if he needed it. So, now, I cannot find him and none of his friends will answer me (probably because I called the police). So...just hoping he shows up today or someone sees him. I am going to try to detach now. Nothing more I can do. I am going to start a project and put on some music. I also brought up all the Christmas decorations. Determined the other kids and I are going to decorate and put on carols and ENJOY as much as possible. They deserve it. And, they deserve a Mom who is present. So, that is my plan. Take care of me today and do the Christmas thing for the kids tonight. THANK YOU MY FRIENDS. Thank you for being here. | ||
|
| post replypost new topic |