|Hi everybody. I'm a 34 year old female who drinks and smokes daily, and I am just feeling super alone. I really want to stop but I have tried and tried and it seems to no avail. I am hoping that this addiction medicine specialist I signed up with from Kaiser will help me. I've tried so many times to stop and I don't understand why this s*** has such a hold on me. I guess it's better to use these substances rather than crack or something hard like that, is what I keep telling myself. But I know it is stopping me from reaching my true potential. In the last year I have gained over 50 pounds from overeating while high. I feel truly stuck and it bothers me that the people around me don't understand and don't know how to help me. I have asthma so smoking worries me, I don't wanna develop COPD in the future. My doctor told me if I keep smoking weed that is going to happen. Does anybody have any advice on what to do? While I'm at work I think about it constantly. How when I get home I will spark up and crack open a beer. It will just be the same thing everyday, and on the other hand I fantasize about going to my yoga class, and how good I'm gonna feel, and I just. wont. go. I am so beyond frustrated with myself. I recently moved to a new city where I work, and left an abusive relationship. I know that I was using daily to deal with living with him. But I feel I carried it over to my new place. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I don't have supportive friends or family. I mean I do, somewhat, my coworkers give me advice but I never follow it. I guess I just keep getting by, and getting away with being high all the time. I don't see any way of getting out of it. Or wanting to. That is what I need help with. How to convince myself to try!???