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Message Board > Heroin > Just A Hell Of A Video

Posted by: constantine October 26, 2016, 3:03 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 October 26, 2016, 3:58 PM
s***, its not available in my country i mean video :(

Posted by: Bonnie5 October 26, 2016, 4:00 PM
wait got it on another site :)

Posted by: constantine October 26, 2016, 4:04 PM
Try this one....

Posted by: Bonnie5 October 26, 2016, 5:03 PM
got it , wow, it is powerful , been watching documentary with him and Obama about prescription/ heroin problem in America , didnt know its so widespread.

Posted by: constantine October 26, 2016, 5:04 PM hit deep...glad I could share was passed on to me tonight ...I wanted to pass it on too...

Posted by: marykat80 October 26, 2016, 7:08 PM
Thanks..that's probably more inspirational then what im about to post..but my vhs copy of this got me through a time.. *Warren zevon cover

Posted by: constantine October 27, 2016, 1:14 AM
Ahhh...Carmalita....ya...truth there know this one ?

Posted by: marykat80 October 27, 2016, 3:03 AM
I don't...completely forgot about ministry!! Hmm..not trying to take theme away but reminded me used to put me to sleep anyway..

Posted by: constantine October 27, 2016, 1:13 PM
Damn...that was like being in a nod at the end of a ! Wicked !

Posted by: Bonnie5 October 27, 2016, 5:17 PM
you 2 are cracking me up :) by the way I loved that Carmelita song , never heard it before

Posted by: constantine October 28, 2016, 12:09 AM
Zevon wrote it...but I always kind of liked the way deville did it...

Send lawyers guns and money is my favorite by
That and Roland....

Posted by: marykat80 October 28, 2016, 12:49 AM
Oh no!! Haha..Willy deville, my boyfriend JUST got through non stop YouTube vids and trying to learn his music. Yeah he does it really good...oh yeah crazy how music can take you back to different times..if you liked that last one though listen to song 'warlock' probably my the hell were you able to post two clips, i can't. Bonnie if you liked that here's another same guy, pasty Cline? Cover lyrics altered a bit again..

Posted by: marykat80 October 28, 2016, 12:51 AM
Forgot the space

Posted by: Bonnie5 October 28, 2016, 7:00 AM
after Carmelita I did watch almost everything what was online about him , fascinating guy i must admit even if I cant agree with everything he said /done etc.
Con great version from Deville , end up watching song after song from the same concert

Posted by: marykat80 October 28, 2016, 11:01 AM
If you did agree with everything he's said/ would definitely be one very twisted person! ;)

Posted by: constantine October 28, 2016, 5:15 PM
Mk...learning his play ? Sing ? I just got home ladies..been 3 hours standing in the parking lot talking music...I'll take a listen in a few...if I have to give up dope...fcking fine...but music ?...i rather just copied and pasted the links...??

Posted by: constantine October 29, 2016, 2:10 PM
Mk....interesting video that...not sure if I enjoyed it or will have nightmares....toss

Posted by: marykat80 October 29, 2016, 2:30 PM
Oh no...oops! Yeah nightmares plus was gonna suggest just listening to song. (For me first time listening to something the video can ruin it depending) no I don't play..wish..I've attempted learning drums off and on...I always felt came natural.. and last time was having fun and felt getting somewhere..but finding a place to play drums is difficult (without neighbors complaining) my boyfriend has tried teaching me guitar and tried when younger..always felt awkward to me. And sing? Haha well about a year ago I was doing online kereoke...yeah I'm a f***ing nerd. Everyone In the house wanted earplugs if that tells you anything! But s*** it was fun anyway. Assuming you play guitar? Anything else?

Posted by: constantine October 30, 2016, 7:50 AM
Lol....we might have found a drummer. ..but sure could use a bass player...they're like always non existent it seems out here...ya...I play...use to...though I guess I'm gonna play again now...been a LONG a** while since I've actually had at it...long road back...but it really feels good to create again...still not sure about how it's going to be clean and sober playing with others yet...right now we're just gathering music and tracks...I doubt were any good..but I don't care. ..need dope sometimes. ..old goth Band fields of Nephilim. ..singers band though..interesting flavor...good theater. ..

I like all kinds of stuff actually. ..from gnr..velvet revolver. .zep...grateful dead...widespread panic to acdc....only things I don't like to much is country and techno....though bluegrass is fun...sure you don't play bass?

Oh...I play guitar...and some bass to save my life...

Posted by: marykat80 October 31, 2016, 12:29 AM
Yup..sorry can't be your bass player! I had never heard That band before..gonna check out more their that sound..Bauhaus/This mortal coil. Well it's DEFINITELY good your feeling it again cause I know it can go one way or another. For me the creative things I loved to do got REALLY frustrating, and i would give up...but NEW things I loved..when my boyfriend was trying to teach me guitar I was having fun with that..I think because it was something I ALWAYS sucked at..but felt good and learned 'i wanna be your dog' iggy&the stooges..ha yeah very simple but better then just noise! As far as you getting back playing..I don't know if you are referring YOU playing sober or being around others that aren't? Yeah I f***ing hate technology and radio country which isn't country it's pop country..influenced or evolved idk...I grew up going to this awesome bluegrass definitely have love for that. I'll post a song I wanted to later since I don't know how to post multiple. Cause since you brought up ac/dc I had to post this!!!!!!!!! Ha

Posted by: marykat80 October 31, 2016, 12:31 AM
Ha, meant I hate techno..BUT I often hate technology too!

Posted by: constantine October 31, 2016, 7:45 AM
This mortal coil !!!! I didn't think ANYONE remembered !! Lol...I wore that out as a teen...!...guess Im referring to playing/creating sober and with others. ..figure it's either gonna save me or kill me...ACDC !! Sounds good this morning ....hilarious video !!!!
And just b/c it's an acdc kind of day...which I couldn't play if my life depended on it like angus...

Posted by: marykat80 November 2, 2016, 2:37 AM
Yes! Love them..I was 19 when I first heard older s***ty boyfriend exposed Me to a little more music..well one good thing that came out of that relationship! As far as playing sober..yeah hopefully you'll get into it even more in a different way. I think if your having fun and not getting frustrated now is a good sign anyway. as far as with other people and scene or whatever that goes along with..then yeah. If your in garage with people with no temptations though then all good. Ok I'm gonna stray from acdc..oh what I wanted to post other day

Posted by: constantine November 2, 2016, 7:49 PM
Ooooohhh...thank you for that one it !!'s one back for the day...but you have to skip to almost end of video to see her wail that fiddle.... damn...luv the violin/ favorite instrument. ..that an a cello...always wished I'd learned both...

and here's something from Germany....just to make ya of my favorite bands ever..

Posted by: marykat80 November 3, 2016, 1:17 AM
Haha how did you know im pretty guilty of skipping through songs and gave me the heads up! funny I almost told you same on that song/wanted you to hear chicks voice..That one definitely brought me back to the music festival I was talking about..blacked out first time there on Jack Daniels..pissed the sleeping bag I was sharing with my mom and 10 year old sister..think I was only allowed back once after. Yeah rammstein..That Is pretty ridiculous..the little marching thing made me start to laugh out loud a bit. Saying a lot cause laughing/smiling been non existent today. I'm in a whole new f***ing mess with meds I started taking several months ago. Ever since off methadone my sister (who i live with and takes all different s***) been trying telling me to get on psyche meds) i was on many ssris when late teens and..bad, worst being seizures. Anyway combination of things and sick of being told im crazy by her and my b/f..And definitely sometimes feeling crazy..I caved into something as a mood stabalizer..WELL I didn't know I would feel high when I took. Didn't take as extra because my sister takes and doctor has f***ed up and given me 200mg extra a couple months and got couple free bottles. This past week realized DAMN I'm just feeling ' my Normal' for a good while now and pretty soon I will be f***ed. So start tapering now..Past week? Not even sure how many days..haven't been sleeping. Shouldn't have complained about that until today hit and heart racing whole time I'm out just trying to rush to safety of where I stay. I've barely dropped anything too....f*** I'm SOOO mad at myself been down this road, thought I learned..well least the script just got filled and didn't wait till a** out, but reading horror stories of course. So s*** i was almost embarrassed to say anything on this board about..well guess I have cause haven't brought up..but then remembered 'addiction' is first word of the site.. anyway rambling.. is what it is. So was gonna post one of my favorites of this guy but just heard this one first time today and had on repeat

Posted by: marykat80 November 3, 2016, 1:45 AM
Realized I just unloaded lots of s***.. on what should now be the 'just hella video's page. so I'm not trippin on any words of wisdom.. 'damn that sucks would be welcome even, or nothing at all. Just needed to vent and be honest with myself and telling others helps that for sure..

Posted by: constantine November 3, 2016, 2:52 AM
What are you going on about...this is a fcking drug forum...your supposed to unload here ...if not here...where ? ...and ..hey...drugs Sex and rock n roll...been a combination since addiction. ...I totally get it. frking easy to just slide back into the space...I haven't been doing all that well myself lately sad to say. far 50 some odd days and now two set backs...this time round..more than a day pick up...struggling to put it back down. ..just when I think I turned the corner...I find myself using. ..again...hang in there. .. all we can keep trying. ...miss my dose sometimes. ...not all the time. know ? ....I'll look for something musical in the archives later..cheer us up...haven't listened yet to what you laid down yet...smiles. ..

Posted by: Papa Bear November 3, 2016, 8:42 AM
I put 1 foot in front of the other ......

I just have to come to know/realize if I'm walking in circles or toward the light.

Putting 1 foot in front of the other isn't that hard - maintaining the light is.
It entails unravelling all my illusion/delusion/denial....and " a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. "

I couldn't/can't do it alone, humanly or spiritually.

One of the guys in the recovery home in '89 asked me:
"Are you carrying the word or spreading the disease?"
(that is a very good question to ask myself throughout my day)

Off to my meeting - all the best.

Bob R

Posted by: constantine November 3, 2016, 11:32 AM
Your right...and that hit me hard...I'll work on it guessing Floyds comfortably numb might not be a good pick today...sorry...crap like that is my first reflex...I'm working on that too...well....i was actually going to post it ...but then read your post...

Posted by: marykat80 November 3, 2016, 2:44 PM
Yup keep trying I'm having hard enough time putting one foot in front of other to do what i gotta do today..but yeah walking in circles..I feel like I've Been on a good path and I HAVE..but yeah circles at same time trying to get motivation and not just live...but LIVE..
not always like that but will be alright we will be alright..more without the circles for sure. his last line he says hits me hard..I'm first born of three and have had guilt being 'bad influence' or what not. first hip hop/rap show I had been to and got him to do that part with me after show. First comment is me where I quote line if you don't finish..

Posted by: constantine November 4, 2016, 7:59 PM
Hey MK...I feel ya...circles...ya...out of time tonight but will ricochet back tomorrow....hang in there....I have to believe we'll both get there...

Posted by: marykat80 November 5, 2016, 8:18 PM
Yeah..have to cause if not..well then might as well throw arms up in air and not worth it. You doing better? Last couple days been f***ing weird..bad then okay..btw it's gabapentin/neurotin im talking about. Know this the heroin board but getting brought up here. For anyone reading this the doctors will tell you you won't get a high off/abuse..don't listen that's bulls***. For any kind of opiate w/d... your going through so much that no won't feel a high and I believe good to take TEMPORARILY..but if you have a lot of clean time under your belt..I would say don't f*** with it. brain fog..nightmares.insomnia a f***ed up long term drug in general. I read opiate and cocaine addicts most likely to abuse...just throwing out there..

Posted by: constantine November 7, 2016, 1:44 AM
Been a long strange trip the last week for sure....opiates...of any kind...for any of us ...kick starts the pulling out...doing better.. .clarity.....

Posted by: Marykat November 7, 2016, 9:23 PM
Thing is it's not an's an anticonvulsant to treat nerve damage..with a million and one off label uses...yeah mid December will be three years i touched an opiate of any kind (including methadone in that) but anyway i will stop rambling about that...for now!!!! have to listen later killing boyfriends phone broke i don't remember password..notice i dropped the 80..

Posted by: constantine November 8, 2016, 1:00 AM
Hey MK without the 80....ya...your right...I didn't read your post properly. ..I've been quick stopping in soon...its supposed to snow out here tonight...yea ! I love kind that the weather produces that on any level...just sucks...can't believe I'm doing another rattle. one at least...ugh

Posted by: Papa Bear November 8, 2016, 9:13 AM
I like the guy who said:
"Having to go to AA/NA really sucks !! ... but if you are an addict/alcoholic and don't go, it sucks worse !!"

I have a choice today.

Gotta go - meeting called O:)

Posted by: constantine November 8, 2016, 12:03 PM
I'm feeling some Junkie rage...

(There are two links each...2nd one is the international..but first is better in videos can't do much about...hard enough to find crap that the gema hasn't banned...)




Posted by: marykat80 November 9, 2016, 10:38 PM
I guess there's some supernatural force that doesnt want me typing cause this is the THIRD time!!!! Or my new phone piece of s*** im saying nothing what i said before..except hope your hangin in.
And my heads gonna explode and this album always calming to me..never seen video til today..

Posted by: constantine November 10, 2016, 5:51 AM
Ahhhhh....Tiamat....thanks for that. ..took a good long listen through their albums for awhile. ..had to actually leave work and call in today...that damn was good....the s*** we go through. ..honestly...we're really fcking are you doing with everything?...I've had trouble too posting...annoying. ..encountering that supernatural force too lately I guess....Tiamat back at ya...

Posted by: marykat80 November 10, 2016, 5:46 PM
Thanks..never heard that one was doing/feeling back to my normal. Then dropped the gaba another 100 yesterday..feeling it now..everything feels surreal. I just gotta remember that people are going through far worse..I've been through far will pass. Memory shot right now..s*** so..oh yeah don't say we are insane...i thjnk the more we put that in our heads..we engrave it so the cycle of doing s*** to make us crazy continues..if that makes sense. I have no music now...which bad sign..hopefully later!!

Posted by: marykat80 November 10, 2016, 10:11 PM didn't exactly wanna think of song this way..RIP

Posted by: constantine November 11, 2016, 4:42 AM
Ouch Mk...ya...100 drop gotta screw up your wires some...I feel for you....that's a head sorry....headphone time maybe....narrow the world down will pass...sending calm vibes and cosmic giggles....excellent pick..btw...perfect.!..

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 12, 2016, 6:25 AM
Morning girls :) little something from me on this rainy Saturday! Not big fun of rainy days as those keeps me inside and been confided to room is not good for me as it makes me have bad thoughts! Still struglling but for now winning , taking each day as it comes.

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 12, 2016, 6:28 AM
Marykat what is Gaba? Pills?

Posted by: constantine November 12, 2016, 7:02 AM
Hey B....oooohhh...old it...nice pick....ya...struggling seems to be the name of the game'm glad you're hanging in there. ..I'm surfacing from the last run...try again now. ..

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 12, 2016, 7:27 AM
Con what else we can do/? We fall we get up brush and continue where we left. I am happy to be clean even just for short period , any clean time is good time, cant plan cos when I plan usually things goes wrong and if I use today I am still happy if is only £10 bag especially if is not day after day ... I am learning not to beat myself up if I fail but to try and be stronger next time, hope it makes sense. Its so easy to give in. Older we get harder it is! I seen you had your little "indiscretion" if we can call it that and I see you are trying your best to stay clean once again. I believe you can do it, I believe I can do it , we just need to want this change hard enough ! Wishing you painless and smooth recovery if that is possibile :)

Posted by: Papa Bear November 12, 2016, 8:45 AM
I don't know anyone who has a painless recovery. I believe pain is necessary.
Misery is optional .....

The oldtimers I know in AA/NA work this program "painstakingly". I do.

I believe that is the biggest hurdle a newcomer faces-
they "hope" for a quick, complete painless withdrawal/recovery and are soon disappointed.

For the true alcoholic/addict to wait for enough personal strength is futile.
To wait to want recovery more never materializes.
It is so simply and precisely described in HOW IT WORKS and we gloss over it.

I came to the point, where instead of asking for what I wanted, I asked God to help me know and do what I had to do... and like HOW IT WORKS I said "What an order, I can't go through with it !!"
(Actually I thought: "I'll do anything - but I won't do this $hit")
I still wanted to do what I WANTED TO DO ... and it doesn't work that way.

I got to do my addiction/alcoholism MY WAY - recovery is a spiritual process (God's way)

Recovery is not a cake walk .. a day at the beach.
Recovery is not easy and painless for an addict/alcoholic - it is "unnatural" for us.
Recovery prompts me to examine literally everything about my thinking (and change it)
Recovery feels like reaching down my own throat and turning myself inside out ....
after doing that I find that I am turning myself back to normal (right-side out)
That is when I begin to see the truth - to meet and accept Bob - to meet God.

And I can't have the recovery of a 30yr oldtimer without doing the 30 yrs he did !!
One day at a time like he/she did. Following the program, not the disease.

There is a sentence in The 12 & 12 book of AA in Step 7. I love it. It says:
"Rebellion dogs our every step at first" And that rebellion is what causes my pain.

I had to begin to abandon the "Pie in the Sky" hor$e$*** in my head and get real.
To ask an AA/NA good oldtimer to help me and do what they say to do.

Today I know I can do it .... IF I FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS.

All the best.

Bob R

Posted by: Papa Bear November 12, 2016, 11:09 AM
RIP Leonard (a great (??!!) Canadian) - one of us.......

"Johnny Walker wisdom runnin' high"

All the best.


Posted by: constantine November 12, 2016, 12:08 PM
Whoa....PB....wicked pick ...wicked wicked pick...👍..

Posted by: Papa Bear November 12, 2016, 12:28 PM

Posted by: constantine November 12, 2016, 1:47 PM
Ok....back at ya.... 😊

Posted by: marykat80 November 12, 2016, 8:47 PM
Con..yeah 100mg sounds alot but actually lowest dose i believe..but still felt it. Bonnie..its neurotin/gabapentin an anti convulsunt..jeez can't spell right now..anyway given for many off label uses..opiate w/d big one. I started taking as 'mood stabalizer' but definitley taking too much got a high from initially...and tried to keep that going i guess..and got myself where im at. Im in process of stepping off. Its what it is. so i just spent a long time just now listening to boyfriends friend talk about proud of where hes got..hes the one that introduced my b/f to heroin....he is happy where hes at and so good to see..idk where im going with brain not working great..anyway you all here is another beautiful one from leonard...

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 13, 2016, 3:51 AM
...its hard to hold the hand of anyone who is reaching for the sky just to surrender...

Posted by: constantine November 13, 2016, 6:09 AM
Mk...that was intense...story of my life...."told you I was a stranger"...ya...i was a dealer...and the words struck a chord .
and B...ya...that line is so true...damn...another one of his songs " you want it darker?" would fit here right about is my voice too...always has been...and I'm glad we can throw out what we're feeling in a song here hope its ok... to throw something else out today ...lighten it speaking of AA all probably know this guy already but I didn't..ya..I'm slow like that....listened to it at 3 this morning and ended up laughing so hard and wanting to cry at same time it was I'm passing it on....and...hopefully it will make you all laugh too...PB special...

Your turn us a song..😊

Posted by: marykat80 November 13, 2016, 5:41 PM
No con..this is the dark and depressing only music thread!! What are you trying to do making people laugh??😄 i've never heard of him..hard to hear without headphones..I'll listen later. Was actually gonna post something from one of my favorite comedians other day..but couldn't decide. But yes lets lighten this sh!t up for a minute...after last night i could definitley use it!!! Today is alright though..hope the same for you guys or better 😊

Posted by: Papa Bear November 13, 2016, 6:02 PM
You go, Con !!

You're spending time in the solution rather than the problem o:)

Posted by: constantine November 15, 2016, 12:51 PM both crack me up !!

MK, better day ? Hope your doing ok...sending good vibes

PB, think my ears fallin off listening ..but smiling !

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 15, 2016, 1:25 PM


Posted by: constantine November 15, 2016, 3:57 PM
Off the fcking hook B !!! ....I want her coat ....God she sounds like Amy...hope your not reflecting and everything ok...though must say....lovely way to get even..!....

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 15, 2016, 4:42 PM
yep, her coat is great , wouldn't mind one ;) Waiting for them to come up with something new , this stuff is from 2015 but still makes me feel good whenever i listen them. Things are fine here at home us usual , nly who is problematic is me really, he is trying to do , give everything just for me to feel better. I must admit today I feel good, I feel good about being clean, I feel good how my life turn out to be... trying to be happy for small miracles anyway how do You feel Con? Getting better?

Posted by: constantine November 16, 2016, 3:45 AM
Have to say feeling better too...woke up feeling pretty good stuff to listen to and think about...doing something and a little guidance helps a in a better place more often...not using right working it best I's the monkey screaming at me all the time that I wish would shut up and go to beat that mfker to death somedays...

Posted by: Papa Bear November 16, 2016, 9:26 AM
The story of the 2 dogs fighting in my head - addict/alcoholic dog and AA/NA dog.
The one that wins is the one I feed the most.

Keep heading toward the light, Con, it just keeps getting better.


Posted by: Bonnie5 November 16, 2016, 1:25 PM

Posted by: constantine November 16, 2016, 5:57 PM
Curtis...long time no hear ! idea why this lame old song I'm posting now popped into my head from that classic...had to be the Sax...which always takes me back to baker street...I know...I know it's lame compared to Curtis...forgive

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 16, 2016, 6:32 PM
Baker street literally 15 min by walk from me. I think this song followed me trough whole of my childhood ( I mean early tens) local nightclub that had Saturday afternoon matinee for us teens use to open from 4 pm to 8 pm and this song was always opening and closing . wow Con you brought us some memories :) thanks

Posted by: marykat80 November 16, 2016, 10:19 PM
Ok bon and con.. :) that has a good flow..and pb and anyone else. One of my favorite comedians...he died of heroin overdose years ago.. king of one liners for sure... Anyway really crappy quality..

Posted by: Papa Bear November 16, 2016, 10:41 PM
I try not to romance the disease any more than necessary.

Remember Richard Chamberlain (The Thornbirds etc) .. Chuck C. is his father
Here are some great talks about how Chuck was restored from a tongue chewing near-wet brain alcoholic to a esteem-able member of AA (restored to sanity)

All the best.


Posted by: marykat80 November 16, 2016, 10:54 PM
Sorry to offend?? I'll pick another next time... I don't think he's romancing disease so much..i find funny.

Posted by: marykat80 November 16, 2016, 11:00 PM
'if you don't know who susan b. Anthony is you probably don't wear glasses' 😂 ok not tears running down face funny..but that part was

Posted by: Papa Bear November 16, 2016, 11:29 PM
You didn't offend

Posted by: constantine November 17, 2016, 1:10 AM
LMAO...!!!..I want to be an appliance namer !..he was funny...thanks for a good laugh !!....that wasn't drug focused...just silly PB...we're holding the clean line...don't worry. ..checking out a new pair of glasses next....

B...15 min from Baker street ? How cool is that !!!...lots of memories with that song as well...watching the Sun come up over the city many times listening to that...

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 17, 2016, 1:46 PM
another one from Cross my heart... , was my absolutly favorite song last year, whenever i needed pck me up song this was my choice, still today makes me feel fine :)
we all sin for a price you know..but you aint gonna win if the dice aint rolled !

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 17, 2016, 2:16 PM
by the way I think Mitch is/was very funny guy, I really enjoyed watching your link Marykat I liked it enough to look for some more :) definitely need to laugh some more and need more sunny days

Posted by: marykat80 November 17, 2016, 3:01 PM
His humor is defintly different...even to this day there have been a few jokes i had heard repeadedly and Were over my head and JUST got. i kind of think watching one of his full sets is best..when i rememner name of one i have I'll tell you or send link. Here's one of my ten year olds favorites..

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 17, 2016, 4:05 PM
lol coincidence , earlier I was reading people's comments underneath of one of his links and this guy said how he is fav is candle holder :) another line I found funny is "I used to do drugs,.. I still do , but I used to too"

Posted by: marykat80 November 17, 2016, 4:43 PM
Haha..yeah that one. I like where he says 'i have a roll of lifesavers..and i'm excited..because pineapple is NEXT..' that's so true cause barely any and they friend argued with me saying..'red is the best' ha..i'm thinking dude its a we have to argue over a joke? Lol... I just love his delivery too..kind of monotone..looking down with chuckles here and there..

Posted by: constantine November 18, 2016, 5:39 AM
Hey nothing this morning...fighting a bit of pneumonia at the moment...and this is also the 4th time Ive tried to post asked if subs were opiate based...well...I know they are both opiate antagonist ( sp. wrong Im sure) and that one of them contains naltrexone ( also sp. wrong this morning Im sure)....but since Ive only ever been on methadone...I don't really know the chem make up...sub board might know...or MK ? ....sending smiles Ladies and to you too PB...maybe find something later after work (and after mtg. it...will be there) when I'm on the couch...:)

Smiles All


Posted by: constantine November 18, 2016, 4:43 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 18, 2016, 5:33 PM
I see you are feeling better at least bit better Con :) watch out with pneumonia but I dont need to tell you that right?

Posted by: constantine November 19, 2016, 11:18 AM
No B...pneumonia and I as all old junkies are...are old as always...just another crappy side effect of long term using...I'll get my a** to the doc on monday ...meanwhile...gonna listen to your pick and smile...

Posted by: constantine November 19, 2016, 1:13 PM
Join us Jen...lay down something you like...doesn't have to be a song....but no romancing the drug so we don't send PB into Yoda

Posted by: constantine November 19, 2016, 1:26 PM
B...Love it !!! Laughed right the fck out loud...i found thst perfect today !!!! Thnks

Posted by: marykat80 November 19, 2016, 2:52 PM something for this rainy gloomy day...Though everyone wants a laugh so maybe bad Con..kate Bush..i remember her from festival i was talking about. It was called strawberry so i can just say that next time. Hmm..there are a lot of posts all over board i want to respond..but can't get energy..

Posted by: marykat80 November 19, 2016, 4:47 PM Wish i knew how to double copy/paste!!

Posted by: constantine November 19, 2016, 6:06 PM
Mk...Loved both of these !!!

Posted by: marykat80 November 19, 2016, 6:33 PM
To hell with purple people..unless they're suffocating..ha. Yeah and that song brings a lot of memories to me. I am sitting in my pajamas all day...don't have brain working enough for advice/heavy stuff I'll post more stuff here probably..hope your getting over your pneumonia. Oh btw about suboxone..idk much
About except naltrexone and subutex together. Just asked boyfriend who was on for a while...his response 'not morphine based..its a not a chemisist or pharmacist' lol not much help!!!

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 20, 2016, 6:50 AM
rainy Sunday, we had storm all night and my mood is all wrong today .. trying my best to feel positive

Posted by: constantine November 20, 2016, 11:20 AM
Well now....if we're going to do UB40...then...we GOT to do..Rat in the kitchen...and get a laugh out of ya B..

And ...know just how ya feel ladies...

Posted by: Papa Bear November 20, 2016, 12:50 PM
Don't remind me of the problem -
(normal people have 'fond memories' .. we have shame inducing flashbacks)

is there a solution to the problem ?? ...... YouTube to the rescue !

I started my day off at a morning meeting -
I'm working now on making tomorrow's fond memories 0:)

In the end it's my choice which vids I watch ... (what I put in my head/thoughts)_


Posted by: marykat80 November 20, 2016, 3:06 PM
I may not be 'normal'...but somehow still have fond memories. One is dancing to this with my son when he was three years old i still remember the smile on his face when me or his dad would play it. Getting late on a sunday morning..i'm going to go create more with him. (hopefully/long as he doesn't give me sh!t for no more video games!) :)

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 20, 2016, 3:32 PM
ahhh Janis Janis, cant remember last time i listened to her :)
by the way I am feeling fine ... needed to go out for walk, one thing I cant stand its been cconfined between 4 walls, never soon as I am out on open I feel fine

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 20, 2016, 3:35 PM
and on memories well I am full of great memories :) had life filled with excitement and adventures, been moving all around Europe from Italy to Switzerland, Germany, France(only for 6 months) and finally settled down in London about 18 years ago. always had fear to get old and not have life lived, fear to ask myself where my life was spent ... needlessly to say would love to move again maybe for last time... kind of dream of mine to get to Dominican Republic , only problem with that right now is money but no fear I do play Lottery lol :)

Posted by: constantine November 20, 2016, 3:54 PM
Awww Rat in the kitchen pasted the wrong link....whoa...johnny thunders and Stevie...whew !!...ya...Janis....just got to sometimes. ..there is no in between with her I'll stick with Rat in the kitchen. ..

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 20, 2016, 4:10 PM
LOL Con, i used to dance and dance on this song so many times when I was 15, 16 ... what life would be without music I wonder, some barren world indeed, anyway lucky I got my ginger male called Clyde he is big on mouse hunt ;) actually he hunts everything from spider to mouse (i am crazy cat lady)

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 20, 2016, 4:12 PM
nineties my fav years
hard to cccomprehand this was so long ago?

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 20, 2016, 4:17 PM
What happened to Jamiroquai? I used to love those guys, them and Red Hot Chili papers ... Rage against machines remember them?

Posted by: marykat80 November 21, 2016, 12:27 AM
Bonnie remember this one? i discovered cause they sample enya...or listened and heard they sampled or the other.

Posted by: constantine November 21, 2016, 12:53 PM
B...well...there's one I don't know...but remember when she did the remake of killing me softly ? ...same girl ?...ohh...Jameriqoui....and hell no can't spell it...that was the band for all the Phish was for all the hot chili peppers still around I think...I really liked them too....well...guess I'm going to go with some wide spread panic today...who sound more like the grateful dead than the dead even did...and...i should know that....

I so luv listening to everyone's all make me smile ....doesn't matter if its sad ...happy or's all music to your at youtube...and click on the little arrow get the address...and then copy and paste....just leave the conversation block open here...go back an get the other one...and paste again....

Anyone remember Traffic ? ...low spark of high heeled boys...or Dear Mr Fantasy ?

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 21, 2016, 3:15 PM
nice pick completly forgot about Traffic :) thank you for reminder!
ok we are having some fun here we go

Posted by: constantine November 21, 2016, 3:19 PM
Holy s***...hilarious..Zappa...!!! I needed that !!!

Posted by: marykat80 November 21, 2016, 9:30 PM
Thanks for tip..
But apparently im having problems just posting one..(last one) maybe this will work..i like where it hits about 3minutes in..favorite part..

Posted by: marykat80 November 21, 2016, 9:32 PM
Ok wtf.. ?? Tries this morning doing same..damn that was good one too...

Posted by: marykat80 November 21, 2016, 9:38 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 22, 2016, 5:39 AM
nice one MK :) years ago my father gave me all of his records and him being sailor (one of his occupations) he use to bring home some really wicked stuff .. Tommy was one of albums and that is how I was introduced to Who :)

Posted by: marykat80 November 22, 2016, 1:27 PM
Ah..that was PERFECT for this morning!!..aside from my coffee&cigarette :) i grew up seeing live music..but david bowie was first concert i went to on own..snuck out for my 13th birthday. I remember i borrowed my friends older sisters 80s school dance dress..(it was 94) i thought i looked so awesome but sure i looked ridiculous!!! Lol

Posted by: constantine November 22, 2016, 2:25 PM
Bowie...the both of these today...been a long rough one...saw Bowie out here years ago...amazing....The Who reminds me of standing in look park in Massachusetts with a friend and having access to the giant concert reign on me played at insane decibels. ..a most excellent memory...thanks ladies...I need to think about what I want to pick's been a long strange day....

Posted by: marykat80 November 22, 2016, 9:37 PM
Velvet revolver..never really listened to them..aren't some the members from other bands? Part of it reminded me of alice in chains. Long strange day huh? Maybe contagious cause mine was going 'normal' not so much anymore..i don't know if it's age or drugs masking the whole wonderful ladies time...but ever since i kicked methadone...every physical/mental symtom times some extras. Basically a time i should stay away from people and possibly phone too!!!!! Ok..won't go on about that..(anymore) will post something later.. Music not complaints :)

Posted by: marykat80 November 22, 2016, 10:36 PM
Ok so my friend since we were kids is alcoholic..always on streets or in hospital..i have given him roof over head in past..other times food..showers etc. I have come to realize its one sided ok with that as he is basically family. But i have stopped letting him crash 'when he needs' hes definitly NOT cut out for streets..well who is but you know what i mean. Just got text saying he starts a new job tomorrow...which is very likely..hasn't sbowered in eight days or eaten in two. f*** there are churches all over to eat..he knows far as shower resources not so much. SO you guys think enabling...or helping get back on his feet...f***..idk.. What i DO once i open the door..i open that door! You know?

Posted by: marykat80 November 22, 2016, 11:03 PM
I denied...was gonna just gonna ignore..but brought myself to explain why...was f***ing hard to do. Proud of myself but feel s***ty too.. Ok music up next..

Posted by: constantine November 23, 2016, 1:57 AM
Hard choice MK....I'm sorry can tear you up inside ...regarding off methadone ....agree totally that your body seems to get and feel everything 100 times more...the juice masked a lot of stuff ...was hard sometimes to know side effect from something else. ..I've noticed my tolerance for colds...coughs...flu...even damn mosquito lower than anything. ... stuck on the couch sick as hell...can't even smoke cigarettes. ..which is making this suck even

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 23, 2016, 5:41 AM
Morning guys :) just another rainy Wednesday here in London, i do have a plan to go out... wont let little bit of rain to stop me lol :) simply cant stay in all day

Posted by: Papa Bear November 23, 2016, 9:24 AM
When I sat in my $hit (for years) not much good ever happened.

When I worked my program then things began to improve (as they said it would).

The last thing I wanted to hear or do .. the very thing that began to change me.

The scariest thing is how bad I had to get to come to the point where I surrendered.

All the best.


Posted by: constantine November 23, 2016, 11:43 AM
Welll pneumonia is something I'm kind of stuck with at the moment rather be not stuck on this damn couch...trying to get well.... in love...what a cool chick and very wicked band...damn...want that white bass guitar..think that's what it is....nice !....I'm listening to everything they've done...thank you so much for that...I hadn't heard them before...and ya...she also sounds like going to have to ride your pick today....

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 23, 2016, 3:05 PM
yep wicked voice she have :) where are you in Italy? Anything good happening there, i mean on music scene? ..of course apart from Vasco Rossi (if I remember correctly he was Italian answer to Bruce Springsteen ) lol :)

Posted by: constantine November 23, 2016, 4:24 PM
Italy ??? Oh lady how I wish I was in Italy...was there this live out at the a** of the's just so fun...not...been lots of places..but this isn't one of them i because my spouse got work...we moved here from out near Mainz / Frankfurt way...and god do i miss it...!! Italy...oh how i wish !!!..I love Italy !!! scene where I live is non existant...Regensburg and Berlin though...probably ok..

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 23, 2016, 5:39 PM
Con Berlin is right now very strong in everything , as we say place to be :) I used to live in Munich long time ago but I am too laid back (not to say lazy) for their lifestyle and probably was very young to live life of grown ups I mean work 5 days a week and party on weekend only. Saying this I do have fond memories, architecture is awesome and countryside beautiful. Right now I a fascinated by Iceland , they have some wicked social care ... if only I am younger I would apply to go but after 20 years in London I am kind of stuck in my ways and right now no in fit mood to travel anyway, been on methadone does tie you down

Posted by: constantine November 25, 2016, 6:43 AM
Iceland fascinates me too...I'll go with ya..!...I use to bounce around too back in the day...was nothing to just pick up and go ? so much...some days though. .oh ya..the itch to go is still there....i was in Berlin years ago...I like Prague alot too....but...probably not the best of places for me to be in these days...

Posted by: constantine November 25, 2016, 7:27 PM
Some days you need the Ministry. ..other days...a placebo....

I couldn't decide which version today..

Posted by: Papa Bear November 25, 2016, 7:53 PM

Posted by: constantine November 26, 2016, 9:49 AM
Ahh...moody says it all doesn't

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 26, 2016, 6:16 PM
been working all day , just got in ..tired but another day is gone and I am fine :) I keep repeating this and if I say enough time it will become truth right ? lol :)

Posted by: marykat80 November 26, 2016, 8:58 PM
I just got off work too..and raining all day actually kind of enjoy. Bonnie..don't start with music and movies combined!!! 😜

Posted by: marykat80 November 26, 2016, 9:01 PM hopefully this works 😐

Posted by: constantine November 27, 2016, 4:37 AM
Alright you two....

Posted by: constantine November 27, 2016, 5:41 PM
So....calling it a day...and going to bed clean and sober...PB...Lollie. ..have at it... this ones for you...

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 27, 2016, 5:52 PM
Con Ramones yes still have Tshirst from last concert ...years and years ago lol yep that old I am
MK love David Lynch, i remember Tween Peaks like yesterday and how we all were taken in by it , it was out there... and almost all my friends were in love with FBI agent cooper ;)

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 27, 2016, 5:56 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 November 27, 2016, 6:03 PM
why I cant find one decent video of Jimi doing Gypsy eyes?? I am upset ...

Posted by: marykat80 November 27, 2016, 6:21 PM
Yup heres another one ..funny my brother just gave me his old ramones hoodie that doesn't fit him..his beer gut..bonnie yes david lynch is amazing..i remember watching some of the series as kid but not getting it. Watched all his movies before the series later on..

Posted by: marykat80 November 27, 2016, 6:22 PM idk why this hasn't been working :/

Posted by: constantine November 29, 2016, 1:32 PM
Ramones are classic !! ohh...a t-shirt ...lucky girl mk !! ..hmmm...I'm a little tired here kind of mundane...but it'll have to do...

Posted by: marykat80 November 30, 2016, 2:54 AM
Bonnie was the tshirt i was the hoodie..i do have project tees...that will probably remain just that..damn i used to love to sew..ok so i want you to see the devil and daniel Johnston. If i had a credit card i'd even pay the 2.99 or whatever on youtube. I'd post something now.but hasn't been working first time around for some reason??? Will later..and even if you don't like his the documentary!!!!

Posted by: marykat80 November 30, 2016, 3:35 AM couldn't figure out what song to pick...again even if you can't STAND it..the documentary is worth it!!!!! And might make you love his music too. :)

Posted by: constantine November 30, 2016, 4:42 PM it now...damn...I don't have either. ..s***....
Well MK...I like's different enough for my warped sense of humor to love't gotten to the doc yet...but I really enjoyed the pick...!!

Posted by: marykat80 November 30, 2016, 10:42 PM
Documentary is sad..funny and uplifting.. f*** this Christmas time s*** is creeping up on me. I remember p bear saying 'normal people have fond memories we have a flood of flashbacks" or something similar. Well christmas has DEFINITLEY became the second. I just dragged my son into backyard so he could see red and green lights reflecting on patio roof. There are NO christmas lights at any neigbors house. Wtf. I guess i needed witness they were there. He of course says they are probably from another house. f***..i DON'T wanna be that psychotic mother...really! Started feeling panic attack so hiding out in bedroom. Why couldn't i have kicked in may or september??? Whats weird is during the time i SOMEWHAT enjoyed (after physical had pretty much subsided) it WAS like an acid trip. I f***ing hate Christmas now...not that i loved it before. But my heart didn't start racing million miles hour over foggy glass Windows or lights. Actually last year was same i hated and loved at same time. I drank first time in eight years right after holidays passed. I gotta get a grip on s***..cause hey it's still november (as of today) *sigh* alright had to get that off my chest..www

Posted by: marykat80 December 1, 2016, 1:17 AM
Oh sister got back and informed me they are christmas FLOOD LIGHTS! Apparently people down street have been testing out to not aim at peoples houses...they just had to get mine! Ha..realized that daniel song would have sadly went well with my last post!!! Back to reality though. I'm gonna try not to put in my head that things will be like last year..but try to prepare however the f***. Ok done with my craziness(for now) :/

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 1, 2016, 2:41 PM
for me Christmas is just another day maybe little bit of extra food especially sweets and of course watching Agatha Christie ... presents wrapping unwrapping.
ok lest go back to music :)

Posted by: marykat80 December 1, 2016, 3:12 PM
Ah how i envy you in that department! But yeah food is always good :) that gorillaz song is one i did on thst online sure i did it no justice!! Yeah good idea..back to music. This is for my brother and his ridiculous dance/singing..even doing the turkey neck

Posted by: constantine December 1, 2016, 3:22 PM
Well now..that was pretty cool MK...sooo...regarding Christmas psychosis....not alone there. ..I love it when it snows...haven't had that in about 8 years out here now...but when it does...I'm in...the cold...the silence...the glitter on the snow...when it doesn't ..the noise in my head gets loud...and I want to hide in a corner and rock ...this will be the first year for me with no methadone. anything. ..could be interesting. ..trying to have absolutely no expectations. forcing the tree if I don't want it...every year a stress ball trying to get presents stateside...and traveling to in-laws here...I'm getting anxious just thinking about it. ..don't know how it's gonna go this year...but so snow...not using is going to be hard...ok...probably expectations. ..right ? Lol....anyways....I get ya....flashing lights ...if it wasn't funny...i'd laugh...but know what's it like to wonder...

Close your eyes. ..imagine yourself in flowing bright rags and soft leather...your hair down and wild ...stepping slowly way up on a cliff...the snow the below the deep forest is silent and the winter...this is my Christmas snow song...close your eyes and listen....and breathe...

And pick is this:

Damn chatty tonight aren't I? Lol...

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 1, 2016, 3:41 PM
wow Talking Heads and Oldfield ... ok nice one girls I loved it :)

Posted by: constantine December 1, 2016, 5:45 PM
Aw hell B...Sunshine in a bag !! Love Love it..!!...and Talking Heads Mk...smiling as I say Good Night...those were uber epic best of picks ladies !!! Rock on

Posted by: marykat80 December 2, 2016, 2:11 AM
Thanks con...i read this earlier. Told myself anytime i start freaking out I'll come back to read your post. As i'm doing now! I have spent over past two hours tearing apart house looking for a f***ing disco ball ornament!! I won't get into detail on attatchment to that..f*** do i even know why?? Dec 14th will be three years since kicked..i was in the the throws of w/d for yeah methadone psychosis has now became christmas psychosis. Weird the first christmas..well tecnhically the second was GOOD. Was last year that i went back in time. I can't even smoke a full cigarette..rushing back in to look for this f***ing ornament..and with NO TREE to put on..yeah its can laugh..f***ing ridiculous.. I don't get snow where I'm at..yeah the whole stress of presents and s***..shouldn't be like that but often becomes that. Forgot to add candles...that's another trip..but enjoy that..just staring into the flame. Well s*** i say that week I'll say how i destroyed every candle in the house. Lol..anyway your second video is not compatible with this country...i didn't notice if you guys put up more stuff..listen later. I got nothing now..couple more minutes of disco ball searching and then bed and try not to lose sleep over it. Wtf..again what you said helped..well i think..ha

Posted by: constantine December 2, 2016, 6:59 AM
Quick...Squirrel..!!! was like that all the time on methadone...drove myself and my spouse absolutely insane...I'd get focused on one item or thing and it would drive me crazy to the exclusion of everything else...breathe this in USA ? or ? B is in UK and I'm in Bavaria...crazy how the videos in one country are blocked in back in awhile...@ work...

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 2, 2016, 11:15 AM
got great news today :) i done well the other day when applied for new job which means extra money and better position so tonight celebration in order!

Posted by: constantine December 2, 2016, 12:39 PM
CONGRATS B !!!! Whoo Hoo...way to go !! So glad for you !! Nice Christmas present that...and a Great the Stones....think the stones song I would post though would possibly rile up the'll have to keep thinking...WOW, most excellent news !! Really happy for you !!

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 2, 2016, 2:34 PM
Thank you so much, I a exited! Actually I had another Stones choice but considering where we are I thought better not lol then second choice wasn't clever either finally third one was ok to post but what can you do its Stones :) one of fav songs is Paint in black but it wouldn't go well with news I shared
ny keyboard is gone crazy, letter C is making trouble to type and now letter ?, one that ones after N as well, but C at least I an type after few clicking and this letter ? that comes after N I cant type at all so sorry guys if you see any mistakes .. trying to fix it but..

Posted by: constantine December 3, 2016, 6:36 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 3, 2016, 7:04 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 3, 2016, 7:09 PM
Con would I be wrong if I say that is one of your top 3 fav songs ever? She

Posted by: constantine December 4, 2016, 3:16 AM
Hmmmm..ya think ?...LOL !!

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 4, 2016, 5:22 AM
Con you said the other day how it never snows where you are well found this Snata page on FB and under Video if you look its so many "snowing videos" some really relaxing ;)

Posted by: constantine December 4, 2016, 5:28 AM
Ahhh ...nice.....thank you !...Your saving my sanity here B...😀 I love Christmas Commercials. ..and this one makes me laugh like an idiot. ..because I swear...this cat is having a day in my

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 4, 2016, 1:37 PM
aww poor kitty lol what a nightmare bird with teeth :) funny Con

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 4, 2016, 2:30 PM
tonight i a giving you something soothing :)
fav song top 5

Posted by: constantine December 4, 2016, 3:19 PM
Ohhhhh ya.....Santana...meister level. ..and leaving me smiling tonight...nice nice pick !

Posted by: constantine December 5, 2016, 8:49 AM
Lets do some blues...:)

eh...changed my mind....

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 5, 2016, 12:32 PM
i love Joe Bonamassa, I always have time for her .. will continue with her :)
and Beth

Posted by: constantine December 5, 2016, 3:11 PM
Almost chose that one first !! Good stuff

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 6, 2016, 5:05 PM
ok I heard this song today in film called If there is hell bellow and song is called Never fade away by The Swains, now video is still unavailable in my country and could get only on Spotify... anyway I just simply love it :) sorry couldnt post the link but it sees thye are not popular

Posted by: constantine December 6, 2016, 5:21 PM
I'll look for it..maybe can find it too...I wonder....grateful dead did a song with similar name...wonder if it's a remake ?...

Just heard it..spotify out here too only way to hear it...not a dead remake...I'm.not a country music fan...but speaks regardless....good lyrics...and for you B...I'll listen and like...😊

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 7, 2016, 1:19 PM
exactly lyrics are good i think... movie its not that good but on begining guy is driving truck and on radio is playing this song, simply i liked it straight away... country music is definitely not my style lol always was more of Rolling Stones girl :) saying that I do and willl always listen to any other genre of music if recommended

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 7, 2016, 3:53 PM

Posted by: constantine December 7, 2016, 4:20 PM
Ohhhhh free bird !! The anthem of all good rebels ! Must say im feeling a bit in rebel mode well had to laugh at your last music might not be my thing but ...I can't really say jack...I've played in a blue grass band at one time...and even had to wear a cowboy hat and sit on a mechanical bull at one gig...where there's blue grass...there's always ....I'm just gonna enjoy your pick tonight...good ole southern Rock !!...I'll pick something tomorrow unless MK or Jen weighs in before me !! Smiles B


Posted by: marykat80 December 7, 2016, 4:56 PM
Ok..have to do it..some country type s***!! Not used to seeing her as a blonde. Btw johnny cash and tom petty covered and CHOPPED it up! Maybe i shouldn't have picked live..too late

Posted by: marykat80 December 7, 2016, 5:00 PM
Wait..maybe this one better (same song) idk..think she sounds more raw in first one..

Posted by: constantine December 8, 2016, 10:14 AM
Like the first version better MK...she looks like chrissy it

the lyrics if wanted.... well...not gonna work out here...gema protected...fck it...ugh ...

Welll...I know what the lyrics say to ME anyways....shhh...don't let on...

Posted by: marykat80 December 8, 2016, 4:10 PM
Eh..couldn't get into that one. Yeah lucinda is pretty in that unconventional real dads been in love forever.. Here's one more

Posted by: constantine December 8, 2016, 5:29 PM
LMAO not my best genre. ..was going to post Metallicas sandman this morning. .but...bowed to the trend...and they say the music I like is dark and's got nothing on country.!!. Gnite lady. ..have a rockin day ...smiles !!

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 8, 2016, 6:23 PM
just came in after having 14 hours at work.. cant think straight so from me tonight something I like ...long time ago lol :)

Posted by: marykat80 December 8, 2016, 7:56 PM
Yeah con..sandman..right as metallica started transitioning..but still like album. Axel lost his red bandanna for a minute? And his moves..yup bonnie back in the day. I still have this cassette tape..

Posted by: constantine December 9, 2016, 1:59 AM
True that mk....they kind of lost it after that....ahhh GNR...gotta love Slash and Axel...I remember tearing up hard rock cafe back in my military days to in honor of all us fcked up vets today everywhere...this one going out...

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 9, 2016, 6:22 AM
i was reading people comments on Estranged video and some said how they seen GNR on concert few nights ago and how they are great, didn't know they are on tour.
on military, really? How ome? I must say i am surprised :)

Posted by: marykat80 December 9, 2016, 1:07 PM
Yes tons of homeless vets you can imagine :( bonnie i almost spit my coffee out!! I don't know if you have seen axel lately but.... Ok so i would HAVE to see to believe they play anything close to great..and i sure as s*** wouldn't pay money to find out!!! Alright rushing to get ready for no music right now. Have good day to you both..

Posted by: constantine December 9, 2016, 4:05 PM
B..and I almost spit my cigg out really don't want to see Axel...but..dudes voice got better after a few shows now...they reunited I think back in August or something. ..kind of cool to see slash and Axel back together...but...ya...all old ... didn't mean to get all serious earlier. ..I had an event yesterday that shook me up a bit in relation to vets...feeling better now....yes...I'm a vet too...and fcking crazy so here's to the last great rock band GnR...

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 9, 2016, 6:04 PM
LOL just had a look at latest concert , why in God name he didnt loose some weight? It cant be that hard no? anyway I always liked Izzy not Axel ... but yea he doesnt look much as himself, blown up doll :( saying this if they come here I would go for old time sake for sure <3

Posted by: constantine December 10, 2016, 6:36 PM
LOL....sorry we burst the GnR bubble....Axel...ya...and I have no idea why he looks like that now either...he was such a pretty thing back in the crush though was ...s***...probably still's got that whole rock guitarist leather thing down cold...and can play like a God...all hail Slash...mighty rock God... Duff was pretty cool too though

Posted by: constantine December 11, 2016, 4:45 PM

Happy Sunday

Posted by: marykat80 December 12, 2016, 5:09 PM
Ok..i know everyone hates on her...well happy..uh belated sunday? :)

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 14, 2016, 3:13 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 14, 2016, 3:16 PM
I dont hate her MK, not in slightest. How are we doing weeks before Christmas ? Is it busy busy busy? I a refusing to give in to Christmas madness lol .. no tree, no decorations this year but will do food and presents :)

Posted by: constantine December 14, 2016, 4:51 PM
Hey ladies....been busy...MK...down in a's ok...just have to pick on !!! Made my day ...that was amazing..! ! ..
My days ..been ...interesting here for holidays so far...stress....think I need to pull back and let them ride ...stay out of my own way...late tonight and just got in...damn gonna enjoy your two picks and contribute later...gnite chicas...

Posted by: marykat80 December 14, 2016, 10:04 PM
B..yeah doing ok so far with chrismas..I'll take the tree over stressing on one. Its a leaning a little sideways..but it's a tree and makes the house smell better!! Today marks exactly three years of zero methadone. I'm (knock on wood) not having my mind take me to that strange? Time. Con..try not to stress..easier said then done..pretend someone is grabbing the sides of your arms..telling you to breathe and everything is OK. Alright con what did you say down in a hole? Down in the hole? I guess not TOO ironic considering i posted hole...BUT was trying to figure out what song to play of his right before read did think wtf ?? For a minute..

Posted by: constantine December 14, 2016, 11:39 PM won't play out here mk...thanks btw for the suggestion. ..ya...need to breathe. in a hole?..Lol...was thinking more Alice in Chains ... love u guys !

Posted by: marykat80 December 15, 2016, 12:01 AM
Of COURSE it wouldn't play..cause was the best video to it!! Idk if you remember t.v. show the wire...oh well we'll try this see if works alice in chains..good guess..good song. Ok f*** i need to take my own advice s***vcan change in short span of time! What did you say before..squirrel. f*** thats been me past hour? My sister walks in...'noooo' lol whatever have to laugh at it and go do laundry something PRODUCTIVE..not search for something that may very likely not be in this house..anyway lemme know if that one plays..f*** i like the video!!

Posted by: constantine December 15, 2016, 6:23 AM
well, couldn't get that one either, but got a different one the lyrics a lot...but the dude...he's disturbing to me to watch...don't know pick all squirellin ...breathe...earbud time...only way I stay sane through the have no tree...spouse in hospital for three days now for her back...haven't gotten presents for this side of the pond ...and leaving in 3 days...LOL....that was a manic laugh...

so, I'm staying with Alice today...


Posted by: Bonnie5 December 15, 2016, 7:57 AM
aww MK loved The Wire watched all 5 seasons religiously :) thanks for that! Con you ever read comments underneath a video you post like last one Alice in chains , I do and always end up with thinking how people are strange anyway loved those lyrics.

Posted by: constantine December 15, 2016, 9:24 AM
LOL...hell yes...I'm ??...some really weird threads going on sometimes...

Posted by: constantine December 16, 2016, 7:00 AM

Warning Christmas Song:
Unfortunately you can't listen to the original least on youtube...I'm happy to have it...and it was a killer back in the day....anyways...enjoy

PS...B...Thanks for taking that one....I just couldnt

Posted by: marykat80 December 17, 2016, 3:58 PM
Stevie nicks :) yeah tom waits is definitley beyond a f***ing odd ball but thats part of what makes him not too surprised you found disturbing! Hows the spouses back doing? Where to in three days..well less now. Bonnie..yeah few summers ago my b/f checked out EVERY season of the wire from library and swear he barely left couch til finished! Think season 2 that was theme song and couldn't listen for quite a while!! Anyway hope all is good as can be with you both..

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 17, 2016, 6:54 PM
all is good, just came back fro Birmingham, been traveling all day so feel really tired .. last few days i feel hot like I am the only one who wants window open 24/7 lol better hot then old, ant stand cold
one of my fav reggae songs , use to listen reggae especially when I was younger and smoked weed, before heroin of ccourse :)

Posted by: marykat80 December 17, 2016, 8:30 PM
Yup bonnie i remember those days reggae in car in summer smoking. ..better hot then old!! Haha true! But knew what you meant ;) ok i just walked through music later..

Posted by: constantine December 18, 2016, 2:34 PM
All good here ladies...just wicked busy...popping in and out...reggae. ..someone's ' s head is in the to ya both...

Posted by: marykat80 December 18, 2016, 4:15 PM
Here con..he shouldn't be disturbing to watch here. Theres a photo of him and lemmy..from wtf was that movie? Coffee and cigarettes think was called but i barely remember..anyway i love this song..ok yeah i should be out pf house taking care of s***..but lagging..

Posted by: marykat80 December 18, 2016, 4:16 PM i guess posting song would have helped!! Ha

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 19, 2016, 4:19 PM
blast from past lol :)

Posted by: constantine December 19, 2016, 4:29 PM
Lol...ok...that was better...I liked it...funny dude...quirky...ya...I usually like that...:)....well...I'm stressing. ..bad...first Christmas in over 10 years and more I'm completely methadone. not sure I'm gonna make it all the way through...sigh...hollow and a bunch of nerves...pack tomorrow. .get ready to drive down to inlaws for christmas. .I seriously need some quiet...way way too much called back into work off leave which was suppose to start today and then had to scramble to get everything else visting...and someone having a bday in the neighborhood outside...loud music...just...ugh...and I'm pulling an hour at a time....I want to escape this madness so bad I could pull wings off butterflies...
A totally inappropriate song for a very inappropriate mood...

Posted by: marykat80 December 19, 2016, 4:47 PM
Only five f***ing valiums??? Thats weak!! ;) ok bunch of stuff wanna respond but in hurry but ocd got best and had to read NOW...write more later..hang in there this holiday is JUST that..and will pass..

Posted by: constantine December 19, 2016, 7:39 PM
LOL...your so fcking right...5 indeed. ...😂

Posted by: marykat80 December 20, 2016, 1:44 AM
Ok what i wanted to say earlier..yeah the christmas stress SUCKS and shouldn't be like that but becomes that often. Oddly Im grateful for 'typical' holiday stress..completely unlike last years madness. Though i shouldn't speak to soon right? Actually i honestly don't know what to say (now) as i was in tears back to back family members..yeah THEY were stressing on something so silly..but just rude..maybe I'm being over sensitive. So..hmm maybe hard as it is keep in mind lots of people feeling this way..(yeah still f***ing sucks) on second thought..if i did have anything better to say earlier i should have just said then!! Lol. Here's to anyone feeling anti chrismas for whatever its worth..(not much) or maybe bad choice but whatever. One thing wanted to say earlier is that i don't do much social facebook. I do have line account. If you get or have search me under unbound or lostkat80 think the second. You can text/voice rant or anything...then if i annoy you or vice versa we can block each other and never ever know..ha. Thought I'd throw that out there...deep breaths or breath easy as i like to say...but usually forget to do!

Posted by: marykat80 December 20, 2016, 2:33 AM
Forgot to add...I'm about to try and sleep and now you got the twelve days of christmas in my head!! The original though but i don't remember the words so just the part with 'and a partridge in a pear treeee' OVER AND OVER.... Arghhhh

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 20, 2016, 4:48 PM

Posted by: constantine December 22, 2016, 3:27 PM
Nice !!!.....If I get a second I'll find something. ...smiles

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 22, 2016, 4:39 PM

Posted by: marykat80 December 22, 2016, 5:16 PM
Hey both you..i can't listen now..waiting to get haircut..con u get my long a** post on page before? I cant remember half i

Posted by: marykat80 December 22, 2016, 5:18 PM
Oh and have good time in paris! Lucky..

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 22, 2016, 5:25 PM
nice, haircut :) must admit not big fun actually no fun at all of Christmas songs... avoiding those at any cost . I am on FB daily , got game that i play and friends/family in contact , I know Con is on FB as well so why wouldnt you open account as well (easy) so we can all get together and have group messages or one to one or whatever lol I dont know about Line , never heard of it, could be ore American thing?

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 22, 2016, 5:27 PM
is this Line ore like messaging and free calls app?
is this is?

Posted by: marykat80 December 22, 2016, 7:40 PM
I've never had fb..i don't want to get all into that. Line is free worldwide..i talk to my friend in australia i met on here....oh haircut sucks..but pms bad so not happy with anything!!

Posted by: marykat80 December 22, 2016, 7:42 PM
Yeah think thats link..its green. We do voice message and text..swap random pictures..yeah free

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 23, 2016, 4:12 PM
ohh i am sorry about haircut :(one of hardest thing is to find decent hairdresser who will get you and what you hoping for.I had this women who use to come around to my place an do y hair exactly how i like... sith stupid Brexit now she is gone back to Czechoslovakia .. shame!

something sweet for tonight , raining outside and I am sittig in war with cup of tea and cake lol :)

Posted by: constantine December 24, 2016, 4:17 AM
Thanks B..nice one...raining like hell here too...and warm...yuck...ah well...sitting here by a big lit tree in early morning. ..quiet with coffee...I like being up before everyone...stress free zone for alittle while. some parts today is Christmas. here...and in's the eve. ..whichever one it is...hope you all enjoy some smiles...
Don't know anything about line mk....but do have a you know that B ? doesn't reflect my reality at times since I have Co workers and family looking in...though a few I know from here are connected. ..we message. ..strange how you can be two different people at the same time...
anyways... celebrate ladies..

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 25, 2016, 12:42 PM
Con you mentioned once few weeks ago and I am careful reader lol :) by the way i am full, cant breed ,too much food lol non-stop eating ,switching from salty to sweet and all this without smoking weed (tried to get it yesterday but i was late so no weed for wicked this Christmas , my neighbor sells so i could ask him but also he has big mouth and i wouldn't like people to know about drugs and me.. i did menage to hide my drug abuse from everybody(family, friends, co workers) so last thing i would like is to be find out because of stupid weed ! Probably this sound cowardly or small minded but have to keep up stupid pretence... oh and forst house nuber b1 in y road belongs to night manager so ..
ok enough about silliness let e see what i a to choose. h

Posted by: marykat80 December 25, 2016, 3:01 PM
Merry christmas...did we got period yesterday and so much good food that my stomach was saying no!!! Nature and it's timing right...f*** shouldn't be on here almost 11am and supposed to be headed to san Francisco....ok gotta hour!

Posted by: marykat80 December 25, 2016, 3:01 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 26, 2016, 9:13 AM

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 26, 2016, 9:14 AM
MK hope you have a great time in S.F :) plenty of fun!

Posted by: marykat80 December 27, 2016, 2:47 AM
Great pick..Yeah was just relaxing yesterday..well after rushing to get there. Then had boyfriends mom visit from vegas tonight..his younger brother met up with us..i haven't seen him in almost seven years. He's still f***ing around i think...depressing and good to see at same time. I'm getting in this after christmas funk when i initially just wanted over with. Then it's over and hits stranger..i don't know. Hope yours was good :)

Posted by: marykat80 December 28, 2016, 7:17 PM
Anyone from this part knows that this is what comes after santa rita! 😒

Posted by: marykat80 December 28, 2016, 7:18 PM second try..

Posted by: Bonnie5 December 30, 2016, 1:16 PM

Posted by: constantine December 31, 2016, 4:32 AM

Smiles ....wishing peace...sanity and laughter to you both and all in the new year


Posted by: Bonnie5 January 2, 2017, 1:20 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 2, 2017, 2:01 PM
New Year eve was fine , us 2 alone with Clyde playing games and being clean ... old saying say how you are on NEW Year eve its how you will be all year I was clean and happy lol :) expecting to be like that for the rest of 2017 , saying this must admit i had particularly
strong cravings today , felt like something is awakening inside of my body, something that is coiled around my spine?? not sure if I am expressing myself correctly but its the best i could. ok i a off now .. hope you all are feeling positive as much as its possibile :)xx

Posted by: constantine January 3, 2017, 11:17 AM
Hey B..
Glad you got through ...I...well...I didn't do as well...but not as bad as I thought...unfortunately it probably wont matter in the long run...but...hey...I gotta say both Christmas and New Years was't know if this will help...but two things...1st...if your craving...up your dose...second...when I was on Methadone, I always had like this ...Idk...spine crawl ? I wanted/needed to was weird...adjustments help...hang in there...I had to re adjust my dose frequently...depends on the amount of stress,

MK...hope all is well...and you had a rockin holiday !
Smiles to you both's what I got today...

Posted by: marykat80 January 4, 2017, 1:27 AM
Hey glad you both got through holidays in a good way sounds for most part..yeah bonnie I'll go with wgat you said about the eve starting rest of year..did same. fighting..sober..somewhat boring but boring okay sometimes. Actually had it been any other night of year i wouldn't say bored..SO will say good. Con what you mean probabably doesn't matter in long run? I'm reading that two different ways and probably over reading lol..leave at that if you want! Btw that first song you posted..loved, thanks :) then i laughed at last one cause I've been listening to that alot lately. It came to my mind one day and had no idea where i had heard..knew radio and don't really listen...remembered it was always playing at my old job..I'd be stoned thinking damn this only good thing playing. Ok rambling..wish me more sanity and luck? Dropped dose on that medication been talking about. today and haven't since october or november? So shall see what tomorrow holds. Lets see if this clip works..idk why i always have to repost. One of funnest shows I've been to..not THIS one..but you know

Posted by: constantine January 4, 2017, 3:19 AM
Violent Femmes...lmao. ..I remember listening to them in my mortal coil days...luv it...
Won't matter in the long run.. .cuz. matter how "good " or better I'm being...still gonna rattle at some point...15 days on ....sigh...

Posted by: marykat80 January 4, 2017, 5:46 AM
That's pretty much how i read it...f*** idk..i wanna say something but anything would be too cliche or just not make sense..basically your saying you are destined to f*** up at some point. Or probably...see here i go anyway.. Its after 130 here and my thoughts and words haven't been coming out for s***. I'm just gonna shut the f*** up..and just say i think you want this cause you seem to be are now..your winning right now too..even if feels like s*** or you feel like s*** are. If you are rolling your eyes at i feel that..but it's f***ing true and we all sell ourselves short...ok i dont know how to shut the f*** least we all know THAT much!

Posted by: constantine January 4, 2017, 8:25 AM
Smiles MK...basically using. ..trying to use less...but... we both know how that works....blew it 20 dec...depressing as fck sometimes. .is what it is...just...tired

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 4, 2017, 11:25 AM
Con I am sorry , i am not going to say anything else , what is there to say really.? , that we are here for you if you need us?, that you know already.
I wanted to ask you something about NA , on cocaine board is this guy who has problem with cravings and his sponsor wont/cant help him with that actually he was told not to call hi when he has cravings cos it can trigger sponsor cravings as well. Few of us tried to suggest different recovery programs but he is unwilling to change so i asked him what is NA advice on dealing with cravings and was told answer is to pray harder. It doesnt make much sense to me all this when i know dealing with cravings is big part of any recovery program. My question to you is knowing you have sponsor what do you do when you have cravings , i mean is it true you cant ring him up to talk about it pls?

Posted by: constantine January 4, 2017, 2:11 PM
Damn...that just sounds crazy. ..your supposed to call someone when you've got cravings...s*** sponsors got to be the most patient dude in the universe. ..believe me...he has always said call ...but my group is more of an AA than an NA...he also asks me what did the doctor say...and has no problem with meds if it's doxepin or the naltrexon. ..craving for dope is maybe more physical sometimes as well as mental...he also suggests getting active...putting your head somewhere it excersize. games. ..reading...keeping your hands busy...writing...coloring...drawing...building. ..whatever you like to do...hit a meeting. to someone else...get out of's about putting your head in a different place for five minutes at a time if you need to...he also talks to me about why I'm the steps with me....really don't like NA sometimes. ..think that's why I stay with my AA group...he might want to check out different groups...and a sponsor sober enough he doesn't trigger easy...

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 4, 2017, 4:31 PM
thanks Con, i suggested changing fro NA to AA or changing sponsor .. not sure if he will accept suggestion , until now he refused every suggestion we made so far so this was my last one!
Maybe he was more after tips in dealing with cravings ... his cravings are different from mine where mine last few minutes his are long like they last for days and go into weeks. I never had it like that. Mine are like I said few min , they come and go (freely lol)
Getting really cold here and its harder and harder to smoke outside( not allowed to smoke in )
Listening music and playing with FB that is my evening :)

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 4, 2017, 4:37 PM
you must put volume up for my latest choice :)

Posted by: constantine January 5, 2017, 11:35 AM
Oh, she was the s*** ! Nice B !! Thanks for that ...

hmmm...don't know why this is in my head's winter with snow here and I love it...but I like the vibe of the

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 6, 2017, 5:12 PM
great song Con :) its look like more then few couples took it for its own song if i go by the comments underneath!
I still wonder why i get involved on other people problems when i see they are unwilling to accept suggestions? I a going to try y best not to do that anymore..i swear :)

Posted by: marykat80 January 7, 2017, 9:30 PM
Janes addiction..havent heard in long time! Ok con tmread that all wrong..well hope your gettin through ok. I posted something from them before. And they are SOOO much better to watch live vids of..but no video so this has to do..

Posted by: marykat80 January 7, 2017, 9:31 PM
Grrr.. Second try

Posted by: constantine January 9, 2017, 8:39 AM
LMAO mk...damn I needed that today....had my headphones in at work and popped it on and laughed like a crazy lady...true is true that song...loved it...'t sweat that dude...he's using your good vibes...vampires...fck um...hope your smiling. ..both of ya...check in later with a song...just gonna tap to mk's for now ...

ok...I'm NOT a Bon Jovi Fan...however...I fcking love this song....

Had to throw this one in too...just because

Posted by: marykat80 January 10, 2017, 3:37 AM
Read that again tomorrow and you probably won't laugh....haha but regardless glad you did! I laugh like a crazy lady all the time..sometimes to point where my boyfriend looks at me and says 'you ok? Do you need to go to the hospital?' usually a once i find something so funny..but know it's f***ing stupid and people looking at me weird makes it uncontrollable. Ok so i have no headphones and i got the bon jovi warning SOOO..I'll listen later 😉 btw THAT was funny. Clarifying 'i am NOT a fan' i had something i wanted to post but didn't copy. That hasn't been working out too good for me though lately! I'll do tomorrow.

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 11, 2017, 3:03 PM
just quick of rock by Grateful Dead lol :)
things are ok could be better of course but January is always depressed month.. after all celebrations we had now is very "quiet time"

Posted by: constantine January 12, 2017, 2:30 PM
One of my favorite songs and band to experience a Jerry's to hear both of you...

Posted by: marykat80 January 13, 2017, 2:12 AM
Yeah bonnie i get that way. Was all stoked to get holidays over with and now I'm feeling kinda sad. Well i still have my somewhat ghetto looking lights up! Which is even more so now :/ yeah I'm that one house..but that's OK as long as they aren't up til easter. She will always be amazing 😊

Posted by: marykat80 January 15, 2017, 5:44 PM

Posted by: constantine January 17, 2017, 12:58 PM

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 23, 2017, 10:27 AM
How are we doing guys? I tried to give you both some space but just wanted to know are you both ok or not? I been smoking weed for last 4,5 days and time goes so quickly but it makes me lazy (always did) anyway i a finishing today with what i have. Had a phone call yesterday from my guy saying he got good stuff ... i was like ok great for you :( hate when they do this!! ok waiting to hear from both of you <3
cant wait for summer ..very cold here

Posted by: constantine January 24, 2017, 3:30 PM
Hey lady...luv your sunny stoner's -17c out here...that desert looked pretty good. ..the good stuff huh ? Damn...there's temptation in a hanging in there...trying to stay functional. ..working on doing my mtgs and stuff and just trying to stay out of the deep...other than that ..doing ok..and smiling through the.winter days...glad you called us out...

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 24, 2017, 5:03 PM
what about gear? using? abusing? non at all?
I am still clean but cant say I am not thinking about using ..i do think at least few times every day. Would i ever be "normal" person? If I manage to stay clean for another month then things would be better this is what I tell myself! I think I am attracted to idea of using more then to actual drug ?? sick or what?

Posted by: constantine January 24, 2017, 6:00 PM
Girl...if I'm trying to stay functional you can bet your a** I'm using and abusing the crap out of gear...idk..i think I kind of just stopped fighting somewhere back before Christmas. ..I'm a sorry a** excuse for anyone right about now.. tracked up and trying to stay at the lowest dose I can know the more you use the more you use... I'm trying hard not to go any further than I've gone already...hasn't been 3 months yet...ok...getting there..but I might have a chance to still put down and not have to rattle my a** off as bad as its gonna be if I keep going on like this. fixing twice maybe three times a day...fck...might be already in for the ride...can only hope and pray I don't get any more stupid.'s that...don't know if its all about the idea of using. ..but that's always a part of it...I' want to stop..but I know im gonna be sick...already feel the hollow inbetween doses. is what it is ..i actually was going to post this first...

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 25, 2017, 9:22 AM
Skynyrd :) from your video to another one to plane crash, widow, arguments, back to concert and listening new stuff(7 year old) end up watching them for hour at least ... i just love to let 1 video take me to so many different pages , sometimes learn new stuff!
Con can you get some medication like tramadol , valium if not methadone ? At least for first 10 days after you stop.. hate to think about it to be honest (i am chicken s*** when it comes to withdrawal but i told you that already, no spine , just cant handle the pain ) Please get something dont do it cold turkey, you know well every time you go trough that s*** your body is weaker and your internal organs suffer .. years ago i was in police custody over weekend (long story) bloody hell i was sick like dog , lost conscious etc full blown suffering and i had feeling my heart wont make it trough but i was told after its not only my heart but liver and kidney apparently stress is enormous... i am sorry didnt want to visualise this s*** so sorry! I saw this guy Fritz yesterday and he told me so much s*** is around that its not worth buying, you get better feeling drinking methadone.I didnt tell him about my guy having good stuff, why get involved (and who is to say its good stuff anyway, i didnt try) ok that was all me before lunch lol :) need to think positive

Posted by: constantine January 27, 2017, 1:03 AM
Hey B...
Ya....I know. ..I got a bit of what I can to help when it comes time. ..rattle is matter what. ..trying to keep my dose low..but I suck at weaning. you know. .im just exhausted for the most part. .it's slow going this time around. .I'm worn out I you doing? Hanging in there? Fcking dope monkey plays with the head even when you clean no song today at the moment. ..been up most of the night. ..maybe later...smiles to ya. ..glad your here


Posted by: Bonnie5 January 27, 2017, 11:22 AM
well i did quit my job last week (totally unhealthy situation, unbelievable but most of people from that office was on something, toilet always busy and been offered everything from coke (mostly) to pills .. last drop was when somebody else's mistake was made to be mine but to be honest i was contemplating going solo for long time just needed courage ... I am working on what I always wanted to do and its work with animals , still early faze and only going trough what expenses would be and how to set up this service .. I know economic situation is absolute horror but job I had I can always find again if needed . With all this you know I have a lot of time to think which is not good and probably that is why cravings are so strong , the best for me its to work like horse and be so tired that I cant think about going out/scoring/using. It takes little to see me out of door ,down on tube 10 mn and phone call! What stops me between other things is not been able to inject in groin anymore(i like having both legs ) afraid to go anywhere else even my hands still have big veins showing but i get so scared and everything gets so shiny plus doing with 1 hand is so hard after using both hands for 20 years (reckon only reason why i lasted so long was thanks to groin or i would stop long time ago) hey this is becoming looong post lol yes to cut short I am struggling with myself .. right now thinking whats the point why i am making myself miserable ?

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 27, 2017, 11:24 AM

Posted by: constantine January 27, 2017, 5:23 PM
Changes...hate them...even when they're good...they make me antsy and've got alot going wonder...and you've been working in a place where everyone is fcking amazed you didn't go for it every day..I sure don't have that kind of control. ..oh ya...legs good to could shoot one anything... it's practice ...but I get it. ..I get use to shooting in one place or area...until I have to change it up a bit...but then not as comfortable. ..and I'm a s*** shot...even with practice. and blue and bloody. ..always happy to have someone else hit me if possible. ..anyways...working with animals would be amazing. animals better than people mostly anyways !! I'm routing for can do it...! I'm gonna listen to your pick and chill ...stay in the game got this

Posted by: constantine January 29, 2017, 3:23 AM
Loved your pick B...I remember Hair...loved it...oh ya..and I did the same with lynard Skinner thing...2 hours later and I'd watched the documentaries

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 29, 2017, 9:35 AM
strange i never heard about this band , never ever , i like your choice , it sings to me probably on the same way it sings to you

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 29, 2017, 6:29 PM
well one of my fav films ever

Posted by: constantine January 30, 2017, 4:56 PM
Now I'm going to have to watch that reminds me of pulp fiction actually ....

Posted by: Bonnie5 January 31, 2017, 6:28 PM
Con you are confusing me today lol its the same song?

Posted by: marykat80 January 31, 2017, 6:57 PM
Haha... 😂 you guys are hilarious.. Hmm that song reminds me of the exact same anyway thought I'd drop in and say hi. Bonnie weird about job thing..i had just been talking to b/f recently bout how that's difficult to deal with..(and I'm not in a work environment like that at moment) but yeah the temptations of what everyone else is doing. I guess if just keep to self and focus on the job...but I'm too social for that...hmm i was gonna post a song but....its starting to get played out 😉

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 1, 2017, 11:03 AM
Hi MK didnt hear from you in days , was thinking if you are on actually :) ahh my last job was great place when I started first then we was overtaken by bigger firm and new people is history. Its shame how coke culture is not showing sign of stopping, they done test on paper money and and it was like 90% notes were contaminated by stopping and everybody just presume you will join in so when you refuse they make outcast of you..idiots but yes had enough and i am now at home relaxing looking forward trying something new :)

Posted by: constantine February 1, 2017, 4:06 PM
Hey ladies. ..good to see you mk...was also thinking about you. places all over the same in ways I guess...I don't associate much anymore with co workers outside of work ...never turns out well for me in ways at times ..sorry your both going through work crap...mines just stressy sometimes but for the most part I really like it...for the moment anyways... pick gave me like a cohen doors mix....I liked it. .but I kept wanting to speed it need to chew on it a few more times ....thanks to both of you for always giving my head something new....

Smiles to you both


Posted by: constantine February 2, 2017, 5:45 AM

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 2, 2017, 8:30 AM
ok guys i been looking for this piece of music for long time, first time was like 20 years ago and ouldnt Google as we didnt have Google at that time lol then forgot but every so often would pop in in horror movie or in something else and i tried and tried to find out what is it but with no luk until 1 hour ago finally ... here it is :)

Con i still think we made great music in 90 s , good choice i enjoyed going from your choice to other pages... always get surprise

Posted by: marykat80 February 3, 2017, 1:03 AM
Yeah 90s still had its moments..but alot of s*** too!!! Con i dont remember posting anything like that..or at all. Lol couldn't tell if you were being sarcastic or for real welllll regardless I'm gonna speed things up anyway now..which doesn't seem fitting after your pick B..too late

Posted by: constantine February 3, 2017, 1:45 AM right was b..madrugda...I think...jeez...can't even keep two people's post straight. Damn....

Posted by: marykat80 February 3, 2017, 3:12 AM
Maybe if i get a little icon pic or whatever there called? 😉

Posted by: marykat80 February 3, 2017, 3:16 AM
An avatar! That will help differentiate everyone. Nobody else will then ever have to take credit for posting a song they think is s***ty or not get cretit for posting something that will be on the top of everyone's playlist..problem solved

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 3, 2017, 8:49 AM
lol MK your choice is fine :) i am really not into classical music but i do like some as to say ... it was more about me finally finding out who wrote that piece and sharing with you "my haunted melody" which by the way i cant get out of my mind since yesterday ..
Con making mistakes (small ones ) easy when you are all over the place ..yesterday i was in shop to buy plug for bathtub and couldnt remember word "plug" ok it was easy to explain i made them laugh .. we could say i am absent minded big time so I stopped smoking weed for last 3 days to see if is anything to do with that or its liver damage (should not be cos last fibroscan showed damage to be medium and i got number 11 from 75 (that is how high they an measure damage up to 75)

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 3, 2017, 10:26 AM
sorry forgot today link to post :) hmmm

Posted by: constantine February 3, 2017, 11:49 AM
Oooohhhhhh ya MK....Acid rain...smiling. ..and one to fade on...thx B...nice combo

Posted by: constantine February 4, 2017, 7:10 AM
A little something from out of Germany today....

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 4, 2017, 3:59 PM
og Nina Hagen forgot about it completely, what a reminder :)

Posted by: constantine February 4, 2017, 5:44 PM
Sorry B...didn't mean to trigger. ..fck...I don't think sometimes

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 4, 2017, 8:39 PM
its fine Con, how would you know and to be honest so much of musi is involved in my addicted life that actually would be hard to find something which wont make me think, at least think about certain situations .. all is cool trust me

another issue i would like to discuss with you guys , i been reading and replying to posts on family board as best as i can but i formed opinion that wont change that easy.. when i was younger like in early 20 s i didn't care if my boyfriend was addict actually it was "positive" thing now as person who battle and struggle with addiction on daily bases last thing i would do is to have addict by my side... i am not capable to trust addicted person, i cant depend on him/her and why i would bring on myself all that trouble and hurt ... addiction is for big part ugly and addicts too! What I want to say is I wont stand to be second best thing to love of my life but at the same time I wont stand for be told I cant use etc.. you see what double standard i have? i wont allow this and that but at the same time i wont return the favour.. Dario told e not so long ago if i continue with using he will start as well because he can be only strong till 1 point so now i have that added to other of my grief , awful fact to live with and responsibility..
anyway y Question to you (if you can answer me but its not must of course) would you get into relationship with another addicts and stay knowing what you know about grief and rest ...???

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 4, 2017, 8:43 PM

Posted by: constantine February 5, 2017, 3:47 AM
Morning B...deep thoughts ...never talk much about this...but before my present spouse I was in a relationship for many years with another ended in physical abuse...jail and a bitter heart wrenching's an addict I sometimes think it be great to be with another user....I figure that's the addict in head knows better. .and it's the truth....if one's only a matter of time until it's both...the addict in us finds...reaches out almost to other addicts. needs present spouse is no angel...years back...her drinking got to a point where I started using again just to cope...who knows addicts I think we're wired into it... .we know what goes down in our heads...I think we want other addicts when were using...and none at all when were trying to stay clean. .the addiction speaks's the monkey talking when you get like...don't tell me not to use....

Ps...nice pic...hendrix kind of day

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 5, 2017, 12:39 PM
true all of what you said its true! I am feeling like its time to be awarded for been good so long , rewarded by special reward so i called my guy and was told he is waiting for last 10 days , everything around is rubbish so saved once again by outside elements

Posted by: hurtingmom February 5, 2017, 1:02 PM
That's exactly why B I never run out . . .LOL. I can never find anything if I'm on empty. But . . .I guess that is a good thing if you are trying to stay clean.

Thanks for inviting me to join your "song of the day." I chose Mary J. . . .

Posted by: constantine February 5, 2017, 2:32 PM
Ohhhh...I like it ..nice pic ...welcome to the dark side ...demons our specialty our talisman...
And ... speaking of a question for heroin addicts inc...what's the longest you've gone before full rattle hit ? I've been careful as I could last couple of months...and am somewhere in the 30 hour range without fix...feeling the sick but doing better than I habit I'm hoping. .about 5-8 mg give or take... a day....just curious. ..I know the deal... have what I might need to get through. you asked B...but still curious. . got a pissed off Guardian angel watching your back....she be keeping you clean no matter how hard you !

Posted by: hurtingmom February 6, 2017, 6:53 AM
LOL. . .a pissed off guardian angel!!! Love it . . . .yes, those outside forces can be a mofo.

I like your pick, Con. Hell yes, the pain come in waves!

Never realized that Mary J has some serious lyrics. She is today's pick, too! We can only be us . . .

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 6, 2017, 12:28 PM
loved her lyrics , great to see you here Lynn :) we needed little bit of "fresh blood" here lol
I a good today , got me smoke earlier and now in very warm room, late afternoon, treats like crisp and Kinder Bueno chocolate around me and new revise Stephen King book called Gunslinger (every few years i take out whole series and reared ) got meself on present yesterday for being "good" ;)and i am about to settle down and enjoy WHILE outside is dark coming on and its bitterly cold my hoie with thinking about summer feeling is Steve Wonder :)

Posted by: marykat80 February 6, 2017, 3:58 PM
Hey ladies...stevie wonder. Reminds me when i was in my late teens how my friends gave me that nickname. I'm not blind or black and sure as sh!t can't play piano!! So long story..oh other nickname/boy george..ugh i did wear some pretty bad makeup and bows and s*** in my hair... Well speaking of that music's this. At least i never had this guys haircut..damn i probably had worse at time 😂

Posted by: hurtingmom February 6, 2017, 7:38 PM
I'm giggling over here!!!!! You two are hysterical . . .

That Stevie Wonder song took me back to the first time I saw him live. Told my friends there was no need to see the stage bc the blind man would not be dancing. . . do you know the blind man danced????? Had to eat my words . . .LOL.

That might have been around the time that B got her nickname. Can't wait to hear that story!!! Especially since you aren't black, blind or play the piano!!!! LMBO. Let me know when . . .I'll pop popcorn!!! Yes, I remember owning a lot of cans of Freeze hair spray at the time you were probably a teen. It took at least a can a day to get my baby-fine hair Peg Bundy big!!!

My nickname in college had nothing to do with my looks. . .or any physical attributes (but . . .do remind me to tell you the story of me & the Boston Red Sox) . . .it had more to do with my extracurricular activities. Naw . . .I wasn't athletic . . . Sit down . . .my nickname was "Miss BGH", which stood for Big Get High! Stop laughing . . . I had at least a half gallon of all liquors in my room. (Whatcha want???? I had EVERYTHING). Plus . . . it was known that if I didn't have bud, there was no bud to be had. ;-)

Since you all have me going down memory lane . . .

Love from Party People, Inc.,

B. . .did your Guardian Angel like you today????

Posted by: constantine February 7, 2017, 8:13 AM work...hope these links actually work...ok...some didn't. ..frking issues getting a link up today...ugh...
B...don't think your gonna be able to access the last one...damn...but maybe UK has another good version ? I'm giving up today...
Ok's one for you...not in theme of things..but... always liked it...

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 7, 2017, 12:23 PM
Lynn my angel rarely likes me :) i loved your choice The Ohio Players
Con your choice Bob Seger is unknown to me, cant recall i ever heard of him but I did like his song enough to go on and play another 4,5 and I can watch all 3 videos, Aretha and Smokey :)
I think I calmed down from the other day , dont feel need to do anything need to score/use. I this situation happened 4,5 years ago i wouldn't hesitate to buy anyway or look for stuff more, yep i am lazy and its good feeling , didnt stop working for last 17 years this is first time i am at home doing nothing for weeks ok i had 3,4 days holidays every 4,5 months and long weekends with Monday off often but it was always in back of my head yea i have to go back compare to now i am totally relaxed about what I want to do .. wont read back what i wrote in hope i a being understood lol
y choice today something dear to me fro very young age :)

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 7, 2017, 12:58 PM
MK beautiful live version :) ahh 80s so innocent

Posted by: constantine February 7, 2017, 2:23 PM
Well....crap....must be only unplayable in Germany as work computer connects to American network and my cell to the German. some play on one but not the other...glad your feeling more peaceful. ..still asking my question. .but if you don't want to go there I understand. ..maybe post it in a thread...haven't made up my mind yet...Depeche them...ccr....some good memories ...shout out to mk...and lynn...sending smiles
Oh...and I'm surprised you didn't know that song...maybe it was just a flash Era thing...good memories with that album. ..

Posted by: hurtingmom February 7, 2017, 2:25 PM
I'm jamming to Aretha, Smokey, Bob & CCR. (Con, I think Bob Seger is an American thing. I remember his song from back in the day. ) I'm listening to Bonnie's last pick as I type. I've never heard of this song (or your Aretha pick) before.

WOW . . . Bonnie, you whopped the a** of the Joneses . . .and you don't desire . . . .you go girl. (Oh . . .your song is so appropriate!!! I really really liked that B!) Enjoy being clean, cleaner than you have ever been!!!!

I've had these lyrics running thru my head. . . .don't know if it follows in the theme . . .but it goes right along fine with my "f^^k it/let the chips fall where they may/is it time to smoke yet" attitude: "don't be down & miserable, you and only you can bring yourself around .. .give it up . . .turn it loose . . . " Oh . . .no . . .say it is not so. . . .they didn't mean roll and pass the blunt???!!! LOL

Seriously . . . I think all of our "its" may be different . . .whether "It" be people, places, things, memories and/or activities . . ., but . . . we can't let them destroy us ... sometimes we just have to stop fretting and let go.

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 8, 2017, 8:06 AM
Hi guys :) hope all is well with each of you, I am good! Dario wants to to Scotland for weekend only us 2 not this weekend but next one just for change , 2 night in B&B probably small town near Edinburgh so we have the best from both (last time was like over 3 years ago) before they go independent on us lol anyway I a looking forward to that but I just wanted to say I need more and more things to look forward to , need more and more " simple " pleasures to keep me "happy" and I am afraid its becoming another addiction right? I for sure have very addictive personality I know. ... its still early morning lol only jsut before noon so i am going to lighten up mood and all :))

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 8, 2017, 8:50 AM
Lynn i would say on most days i am fine as we say but then i have days when everything becomes pointless ..chemicals in my brain needs rebalancing after so many years of using! What I need its for this cold weather to go away and spring/summer to come ops everything is better when sun is on :) thank you!

Posted by: hurtingmom February 8, 2017, 11:50 AM
Great song B! Never heard of that artist or song before. But saved it to my play list. Good happy music! Glad that you are in a good place, B!!!! Enjoy Scotland and your honey!!! You made me smile with that good news. So happy for ou

As for your question...I'm not a heroin user. . . but i hope that this is helpful. My current hubby doesn't smoke cigs, never did any drugs (not even weed) & in fact works out everyday for 2 hours. (He does drink.) Sometimes I wish he would smoke with me. Nothing like passing a little something-something to the one you love & enjoying the hi together. But he never has. He is generally cool with my love of 420...but there are those times when he lectures me about why I smoke & why don't I stop. I have learned to tune out those lectures. Smile. But he does provide structure & I do live according to (most) of his rules re use. (Wow...I have boundaries, too!) I wouldn't change him or how he deals with me for the world.

If I was with my drug/addiction/alcohol soul mate (and i've met him; we became playmates . . .brother/sister . . .,rather than lovers . . .spouses) . . . we would have nothing but roaches, hella vodka bottles, empty Coke vials and a lot of love & laughs to show from our partnership. No money. No assets.Zilch. Nada. Our combined addictions would have led to our combined ruin. Bc we would have no checks & balances with each other.

Posted by: constantine February 8, 2017, 5:01 PM
Ahhh Jameriqoui. ..good one...even though I still can't spell it..!

Posted by: marykat80 February 8, 2017, 11:44 PM
That was ALOT of music catching up..ironic con cause was gonna post this other day then listened to depeche mode and made me wanna do 80s..but nah this is too classic and badass!!! Lol peg bundy lynn with the hairspray..s*** i might win the contest now..i buy it like its gonna discontinue tomorrow...and my hair is Bonnie that's awesome going to scotland!!!! That's a for sure plan? Btw i didn't know you started stepping down..thats doing good?

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 9, 2017, 7:12 AM
he he :)

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 9, 2017, 7:20 AM
yes MK its plan for sure, made reservation too :) hope its going to be so cold they expecting -10 C lucky me , 1 day on Arctic was warmer then it should be and now we have February freezing cold.ok i tried to post FB pic fro Edinborough last time we were but couldnt Con how did you do this, post photo here pls?

Posted by: constantine February 9, 2017, 10:31 AM
sure...what am I posting ? or did I get the photo in ? You have to save it to something like photo bucket or a webpage and then copy paste the url....or link it...nothing simple of course...if its a facebook pic you can try right clicking, open properties and copy the url...try pasting it here....might work....let me see if this works....ok...yes it does...but it will open your FB page...

Just cuz ya know I HAD to !!

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 9, 2017, 4:37 PM
LOL :)

Posted by: marykat80 February 9, 2017, 5:17 PM this could go on forever huh..well discovering new covers!! Not much to say..pouring rain..drenched and gotta go back in it on!!!!!

Posted by: Bonnie5 February 9, 2017, 8:11 PM
get dry and hot cup of tea is don't want to catch a cold :) yes we can go on with different evrsion, here is top,top version

Posted by: constantine February 10, 2017, 12:54 AM
stay well mk...cup of hot tea sounds good....