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Writing A Letter


Posts: 132
Joined: December 30, 2018


Posted: February 15, 2019, 7:54 PM
Hi all, does anyone ever feel it’s easier to write a letter rather than confronting the addict, I always want to say so much to him, but never comes a cohoe I wanted it to, also forget what I should of said, I have no been really good at confrontations, always been better at pen to paper, I can see he gets angry and frustrated, says he can’t talk to me, although through all this I feel I have been very patient and understanding of it all,he says he’s not the same person, I have 3 children and me and him have alwaybeen good, maybe people change with or without drugs, I know he holds a lot in, wish he would move out, although financial wise not sure how that would go, he says he can’t talk to me, which I get. Says he’s going through this with his counseler, and he wants to move out, ( probably not half as much as I want him to) think it would do him really good, maybe a whole new ballythem as what other withers will be, thanks for listening


Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018


Posted: February 15, 2019, 8:22 PM
Hi sad eyes. I think if you are more comfortable writing a letter then do so. I know I prefer to talk to my daughter about issues over the phone rather than in person. She has in the past had anger outbursts and having PTSD it was awful (even if I didn't have PTSD). She may hang up on me if she doesn't like what I've said but at least I was able to tell her what I've wanted to say.


Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018


Posted: February 18, 2019, 9:16 PM
Has anyone written a letter to their adult child?


Posts: 132
Joined: December 30, 2018


Posted: February 18, 2019, 11:42 PM
Sally Anne that is what I really was trying to get across🤗, I did mention this to my councillor when mine first came out of rehab, ( nearly 3 years ago), she said no at that time, felt it was to soon for him, I am actually better at writing things down, not good with confrontation at all, never comes over how I want it to, end up saying nothing I had intended to say, although maybe about 15 months ago I did write a letter to him, felt really pleased with myself as I put everything down what I wanted to, he did read it probably he has still got it, but never said anything to me back about it, I do feel as time is going on, I am really pulling back on things, knowing he has to choose his path in life, not me, he still lives at mine, but is self sufficient, wants to move out, but I can't see that happening ( well not as soon as I'd like), this is something I never thought I would be dealing with, along with everyone else on this board, I would love to hear a bit more from noot , she did make a intresting point, clean 1 year as her mother in end used tough love, sorry getting a bit of topic but I personally feel I could write a letter take care everyone


Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018


Posted: February 19, 2019, 6:14 AM
Yes, me too sad eyes. I would love to hear more from noot too and maybe know some of the tough love things her mom did. I talked with my daughter 2 hrs on the phone the night before last. We talked about a lot of little things which is good however when she would bring up the challenges she's facing in her life now, it was always somebody else's fault and she was the victim. She doesn't (for whatever reason) see the connection of her addiction to why she has all these messes and issues in her life. This has been going on for 13 years now. She's like "nothing ever goes right for me so I'm tired of trying anymore". Its very frustrating.....


Posts: 368
Joined: November 16, 2017


Posted: February 19, 2019, 6:47 PM
My son responds MUCH Better to written communication. I text and write notes/letters any chance I get. He actually reads it and thinks about it more.
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