At A Lost
Posted: October 26, 2015, 8:41 PM


Posts: 9
Joined: October 26, 2015



My daughter has admitted to doing pills back in school, heroin, ect. Smokes pot religiously. She is 24 and has nothing to show for her life. She has bounced back and forth between various homes, never supporting herself. Sometimes that would be my home till things got out of hand and I threw her out.

Beginning of the year, she went to live in another state with some boy she had just met. A month ago she said he was abusive and she had to leave. Stayed with a ' friend' for a few days, then called me and asked to stay with me a few days. 2 weeks later, still here. Disappeared for 5-6 days, no word from her. Came back. No job, ect.

I snooped in her bag and found needles and other paraphernalia. Didn't tell her about that, at first. Eventually I did. She claims it was just not thrown away yet. So she just decided the best course of action is to carry this around with her everywhere instead.

I told her she needs to leave again. One major issue is, apparently there are no friends left anymore. Gave her numbers to shelters. One has a waiting list, the other is 5 nights only. And she has a puppy with her. I've made calls to find a rescue to take it. She is flipping about that.

Come home from work, she is smoking pot in my back yard. With a female friend. The rules were simple.....no friends, no drugs at all, clean up around the house, get a job. She's done broke all the rules.

This is all been repeated in the past, minus the fact she now has a darn dog.

I feel horrible but I'm about to lock her out and not let her in and tell her if she comes back, I will call the police.

I feel so lost. I'm not helping her at all and I know this. But I guess since she is female, I fear her walking around at night and something bad happening.

Thanks for reading.
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Posted: October 27, 2015, 8:03 PM


Posts: 34
Joined: August 19, 2015



Sweetgem

You are helping her by having boundaries like the real world will. She needs to learn this and take responsibility. Don't treat her like a child; treat her like a grown up.--either follow the world's rules or suffer the consequences. If you allow her to be irresponsible, she will be. Stay strong--go to meetings and hear this weekly from others who have been there. Wishing you the best!
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Posted: October 27, 2015, 9:57 PM


Posts: 9
Joined: October 26, 2015



Thank you for the reply.

I will be going to a meeting this Sunday. A friend of mine told me a year ago to go to one but it was easier then to just try to ignore the problem.

Last night came home from work and her and a friend were smoking pot in my yard. Of course she claims it wasn't her, just the friend. I said I don't care. I said no drugs, also said no friends could be at my house. (Sorry but most of them are losers)

Still dealing with this dog of hers that I refuse to keep. Making her call the shelter to keep in the list. Whether she is or not, I do not know.

She left earlier for a puppy play date. Came back wasted. s*** will hit the fan tomorrow. I'll probably just give her the number for the lady who said she would rescue the dog and tell her to get out.

I feel horrible but I am so done. I barely sleep, eat...... Headaches. Nasuase.
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Posted: October 28, 2015, 9:11 AM


Posts: 115
Joined: August 29, 2015



If you haven't already Sweetgem, please make sure all valuables in your house and storage areas are gone....not hidden...just gone.

Addicts are very resourceful and can find things you've hidden to sell for drugs.

Even if you daughter wouldn't steal, there's no guarantees their friends won't.
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Posted: October 29, 2015, 2:18 PM


Posts: 150
Joined: July 31, 2015



Rich L has a good point. I wouldn't have believed my son would steal from me either, but all my good jewelry is gone. The jewelry I had in a locked safe tucked away in my bedroom closet is gone too.. so for your sake, get all valuables, credit cards, and any money you have out of the house. Leave it with someone trustworthy until your daughter leaves.
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Posted: October 31, 2015, 10:59 AM


Posts: 3
Joined: September 30, 2015



Hi Sweetgem, I am new here to this forum and to addiction. My 42 y.o son is an addict and he just got out of Rehab. They gave us a paper there and one of the quotes on that paper is...

"Don't let your anxiety for me make you do something I should be doing for myself"

I keep this paper on my fridge so I can read it daily.
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Posted: November 3, 2015, 6:22 PM


Posts: 9
Joined: October 26, 2015



Thank you for all the replies.

She is currently living with a friend. She did two odd jobs over the weekend and started what may be a full time job Sunday. Time will tell.

First she was being nasty about me throwing her out. Now she is fine. Hasn't asked for anything either. I feel relief that this isn't in my face every second of every day but also know this may just be a calm before the storm. Sigh.

Just going to pray, think positive thoughts and keep my boundaries up.
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Posted: November 6, 2015, 10:54 AM


Posts: 150
Joined: July 31, 2015



How are you doing Sweetgem?
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Posted: November 6, 2015, 10:06 PM


Posts: 9
Joined: October 26, 2015



Not so good. My daughter already said she isn't working the so called full time job she said she got. Said they aren't busy enough. Excuses again. Her communications with me are vague again. The dread is settling back in but I will enjoy my weekend and keep praying for the best.

Thanks for checking.

Hugs!
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Posted: November 11, 2015, 4:52 PM


Posts: 150
Joined: July 31, 2015




Sorry to hear that Sweetgem..

Hang in there. I'd like to say it get's easier, but I haven't gotten to that point yet. :)
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