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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > How To Best Support Partner In Rehab


Posted by: Sam09 January 19, 2021, 3:36 PM
My partner recently entered rehab. With Covid, there are no visitors allowed. I can only talk/text with them during their phone times. It’s been 2 weeks and I have to admit, I’m feeling a little disconnected. This is their first time in treatment and my first time supporting someone through this. They aren’t opening up a lot about how things are there and they’re not as interested in how I’m doing as they used to be. Is this normal for someone to withdraw from loved ones while in treatment and how do I best support my partner without either crowding them or making hem feel like I forgot about them. Any thoughts or suggestions?

Posted by: Parenting2 January 19, 2021, 11:04 PM
Treatment can be overwhelming. Because the person is straight for the first time in probably a long time and the groups/counseling can be emotionally draining. I am sure there is some amount of emotional exhaustion. Also, depending on how much the person was using, they may not know how to communicate when sober/straight.

It would be hard to maintain ties when you cannot visit in person. If it were me, and the person was not discussing much, I guess I would try to think of things to share or talk about. Try to maintain your center and take really good care of yourself!

I only have the experience of my son. He was distant and moody. Occasionally, he would be warm and really open up, but sometimes he would then tell me his counselor told him to talk to me about those things. : )

Anyway, it is a time that seems a little disconnected no matter what. because you are living your life per usual. The other person is not living a normal schedule, but rather intense therapy.


Posted by: NyToFlorida January 21, 2021, 1:18 AM
I remember when my son was in rehab I would become anxious if I had not heard from him in two weeks. Worried about how he was doing. In heinsight , the first week he was detoxing and the second week he was trying to deal with the routine. It seems they are quite busy and on a strict schedule. It is sometimes hard for couples because the way you socialized before is different than it is now. Sober vs not sober, constant questions, the reasons you were together may change for one of you.

Try to think about you. give yourself time without drama and crisis. Do things that you have been putting aside. Think about what you want and make changes if needed.

Posted by: Sallyana January 23, 2021, 3:20 PM
I think too when a person goes off to treatment their life changes drastically in a short period of time. This requires much effort on their part because they are starting the necessary steps involved in acknowledging many things about themselves and their life they have been avoiding, or denying, or unable to cope with. They are emotionally and physically very busy. I would not take it personally or even judge anything during this process. Let them focus on themselves and you focus on you. Sometimes we use other people as a mirror or measuring stick to how we feel about ourselves and it's not healthy. How we feel about ourselves comes from within.