Goodbye N+
Posted: June 12, 2015, 7:11 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Day 7 today!!! Ive been here before...but holy crap im so proud and so determined!!!!! I GOT THIS...
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Posted: June 14, 2015, 2:05 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Day 8- energy levels are so low..feels like im at the bloody begining..heavy chest and so bloody tired...when will this end...im also having thoughts of the pills...Now im doing very well and im totally in control, but my mind wanders back to how good it feels...that wonderful euphoric feeling i get...god i wish it would stop..sometimes i think ive bitten off more than i can chew..Hubby goes back to work tomoz...i have a feeling its gunna be a tough 10 days, especially the first few..ive never been clean when hes left for work...ive always been numbed down so tomorrow will be a true test of what i can endure...
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Posted: June 17, 2015, 11:14 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Day 12! My post seem to be becoming fewer and fewer..im starting to feel a little stronger everyday! Stronger in mind, body and spirit...i have also been resisting temptation all the time...believe me thoughts of pills are still very fresh in my mind...but i want this now more than anything..I havent set foot in a pharmacy for 12 days...ive wanted to..but i havent...i think im wining... (im still vigilant though) i know i have a long way to go...but for now, im enjoying how far i have come..energy levels are up today..and im smashing out the house work...my appetite is back and its great... almost at 2 weeks..i am so proud of myself...
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Posted: June 20, 2015, 11:47 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



15 days today.
Im past (well i think) the wds!!! I really dont feel like i have any. But what i do have is a constant niggle in my head asking me if id like to have pills for old times sake....im having cravings terribly...i need a new focus, i need something to help me keep my mind off pills!! This i feel will always be the issue at hand..How do i survive this now...How do i continually fight the good fight.... how do i not give in to temptation thinking i can just have some for a day and then be ok to stop again????
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Posted: June 29, 2015, 1:25 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



So i went down hill! Had pills and f@$ked up! Tomorrow is a new day! And i will start again...tomorrow will be day 1! I just need help with my cravings...and the wonderful high i get...that is what i cant get out of my head!!
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Posted: July 25, 2015, 12:25 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Struggling with my sleep im 8 days today! AGAIN..geez stay clean already! Nope cant do that the pills make you feel good! Back off would you i got this...no you havent, you need the pills to make you feel that wonderful buzz and high!!!! This is a snip of what goes on my crazy a** head...how am i meant to stay clean. Its a constant battle with myself.
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Posted: August 31, 2015, 4:01 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Ok so i made another decision to get clean of N+, saturday night was my last lot of pills i had 60 N+ thru out the day and 12 pills with 15mg codiene and 500mg paracetomol...holy crap when i woke up Sunday morning i was bloody crook! I couldnt move..i had to get my parents to look after my kids..i naturally blamed it in a bug..i slept pretty much all of sunday away..woke up this morning (Monday) feeling just as bad..no vomiting no gastro (yet ) cant eat anything...not sure if its full blown wds or i have come down with something...but holy crap ive never felt like this coming off the stuff...i pray tomoz is a better day!!!
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Posted: September 3, 2015, 12:37 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Half way through day 5 and the withdrawals are relentless..i have never felt worse...naturaly im telling everyone i have a virus.. but geez..i still cant eat properly- a piece of toast and a piece of fruit here and there..the fruit is to acidic for my stomach at the moment so ill hold off on that...but im still stuck on the lounge...i try to move around as much as i can but its a struggle...i pray this nightmare is over soon...i keep getting a very sharp headache on the right side near my temple and my back aches from sitting and laying down so much...im trying to be more active but failling misserably...tomoz when the kids are in school and day care im gunna go out side for a short walk around the block no matter how hard it is or how long it takes me...somethings gotta give soon
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Posted: September 4, 2015, 12:48 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Its almost 3pm here! And today is day 6..lots of people say i shouldn't count days, for me its a great way of keeping track...managed a hamburger from maccas last night, probably not the most nutrious thing to eat but it was food good or bad...plus i ate a medium size cold tin of spaghetti... ( i love that stuff) id say i got 4 hours sleep in total last night. 1 of thoses hours was on the lounge...im praying for a little more tonight...i managed to do chores today vacume, a load of washing, dishes and a general pick up of stuff lying round...im pushing my self that little bit..im starting to get the trots today..new it wouldnt be too far away lol....anyway kids will be home soon and im sure they will want snacks...ill check back in tomoz!
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Posted: September 6, 2015, 7:17 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



End of day 8! Must say im feeling a little better..im able to move around alot easier now, although my chest feels heavy sometimes..my appetite is coming back..i have 2 big cold sores..id say from my body withdrawing and me not eating properly, hopefully they dont stay around too long, they are very sore...im still not really thinking about having pills, after they way i felt last week im not surprised..although i know the time will come, and that will be the real test! For now i still ride the wave of my body adjusting to life without pills...
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Posted: September 7, 2015, 5:19 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Beginning of day 10 today! Still a little on the unmotivated side. Sleeping better, although i have been waking up early!! Appetite is back..my mood is still low...i have the trots now also... Overall though i must admit im definitely starting to feel better...soon i will need to find a differnt direction in life to take...my life used to revolve around pills...everyday i was off to a different chemist, sometimes id drive around for ages getting them...then it was smash a heap back in the car..then home to sit on the lounge or take the baby somewhere for an hour before the need to sit and sleep became a priority...it was a terrible way to live...i certainly do not want to go back there...
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Posted: September 10, 2015, 8:16 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



End of day 12☺
The thought of pills makes me feel so ill, there is no way i want to feel like i did last week again...that was pure hell, and i hated it..i feel like most of the physical withdrawals are gone now..i still feel a little sluggish, but i reckon thats just life. I have the trots a little but overall its not to bad, hubby is home for a while..he got work close to home..not sure how thats gunna go...im so used to him not being here..ive lived with him not around for almost 3 years...having him here all the time will be a big adjustment...im sure we will work it out though...im almost at my record of days clean...15 is the longest ive gone..i have a feeling that im gunna blow it out of the water...anyway its 10.30 pm here...time for bed! Ill post more in a day or 2☺
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Posted: September 11, 2015, 10:25 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



2 weeks today!! Wow...still have no desire to have pills....i just feel so damn tired all the time..im getting enough sleep now..im in bed by 9/9.30 pm and up most mornings at 6.30 am thats 9 hours sleep!! Im not sure what it feels like to be completely normal and ok..ive been on pills for a long time...hopefully in thr next month or so, i will finally feel it!!. For now though, i will just plod along and know that im winning this fight!!. Im having a night out tonight for my cousins 40th birthday! Im looking forward to socialising with everyone...its not often that we all get together! Should be a great night...
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Posted: September 15, 2015, 5:47 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



18 days today!! The longest clean time i have ever had!! Im feeling pretty good these days..i have moments of tired, but i think thats just life in general! Ive been trying really hard to get work, but still nothing! It can get pretty dishartning at times...but im not giving up on it...its school holidays here soon...so i do plan on doing lots of fun exciting things with the kids...normally i dont because im a zombie...but not this time...my husband has work close to home for now and it means he is home everynight..im not used to it and i feel like he gets under my feet...i think i like it better when he is away!! That sounds bad but its a big adjustment when for years he isnt here then all the sudden he is....
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Posted: September 18, 2015, 4:48 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



3 weeks today!! WOW...and i feel pretty darn good too! Its definitely been a long road, and i know i still have a long way to go, but im happy with where i am!
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Posted: September 22, 2015, 4:58 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



I find myself thinking less and less about N+. Not saying that i never think about it, sometimes i do, and the times that i do, well they can be tough times. The thoughts do not last very long, Im glad i dont have them often. I think i feel pretty normal these days, although, im not really sure what normal feels like! Its like, is this normal or semi normal? Will i one day feel better than i feel now? If so then great, if not then thats ok because i feel pretty good. Started a new job yesterday...its hard work, but its a job and for now i think its a good thing....we could use the extra money....its school holidays now and its been constantly raining...i was hoping to get out and about with the kids...mayb next week...im so glad i have the energy and motivation to do things with the kids.....
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Posted: September 25, 2015, 4:22 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Today has been a bad day in the way of cravings! All i have been thinking about is how nice it would be to just have a box of pills...Just one box to get that euphoric feeling...i know its a bad idea and i havent given into temptation, but geez i really wanted to! Tomorrow will be 4 weeks clean...i cannot believe it!!!
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Posted: November 22, 2015, 6:33 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Ok so i went down hill again. Today is day 2....i wonder how many more times i will do this...believe me i want to stop..i just dont know how...i got a littlw over 4 weeks clean last time...i just hope this is the time i make it all the way.
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Posted: November 24, 2015, 5:30 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



End of day 3...not sure that i should be writing on here just yet...its very early days...but i do think the early days are easier than the later days....i read on here from an old timer, whos advise, i really do take on board. He says that getting clean is the easy part! Staying clean is the hard part and boy oh boy is he right...without the right tools behind me i dont know how to cope after a few weeks clean...its very scary...anyway just for my own personal record my symptoms are...im not feeling as bad as last time...im unmotivated but i can get up and move around fairly easily...not for long though...i have the trots a bit too...sleep seems to be ok...i touch wood that its easy tonight..im off to bed now...will post in a day or so.
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Posted: November 27, 2015, 7:21 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Day 7...Not sure what to do with myself...my days are not the same, normally im driving round buying pills from far and wide...then home to sleep on the couch...unless im at work of course....im feeling only slightly sluggish...and im starting to get my appetite back...plus i now have the trots...gastro stop helps....i slept last night for almost 7 hours...imsomia is diminishing....my husband comes home tonight hes been gone a week, he is only home for a night and day but at least i can see him....god i cant wait..ive missed him alot...the past week has just beem very emotional due to the no pills...anyway ill keep fighting the good fight
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