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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Who Started The Alkie/addict On Their Habit?

Posted by: samegame April 30, 2019, 11:19 PM
Who started the alkie/addict on their habit? Who helped perpetuate their habit and associated life style? Was it peers, a club, an activity, school, sports league/team, work place?

Here it was the world of sports, Started dabbling and experimenting in high school. Commuted to college so the drinking increased when hanging out with several older adults who drank in the leagues he participated. If drinking wasn't bad enough management mentors drank, partied and festered a what ever it takes attitude-winning. Nothing wrong with a little payback or cheap shot. Karma hit of his mentors losing a child to drugs-adult dad hanging out with kids coming home late, drunk and barely there as a sober parent-what possibly could go wrong.

Enter the gym in the name of sport. Falls in with the steroid crowd-again what ever it takes never mind the cost or consequences. WHAT EVER it takes. The ends justify the means. Throw machismo and constant exposure to younger immature adults guess who never grew up. In the meantime they take informal worldly advice as gospel from richer friends which leaves an adult acting like a child acting like an adult.

But the sports world is where the alkie really got started and it is that same environment which festered and continued his adult years as a party boy/massive drinker.

Posted by: Sallyanna May 1, 2019, 12:15 AM
Same game it's interesting to me your detail analysis of the person you write about. Its usually written in third person so I don't know how you feel about this person in relationship to your own life. It's just an observation....anyway, it's well known alcoholism has a strong familial component. Was a parent an alcoholic? Does he have any siblings who are alcoholics? Many people who participate in sports are not alcoholics. However if they have a propensity, they may become an alcoholic. I think you mentioned once that many family members drink. There is usually an environment, a drinking environment.

Posted by: samegame May 1, 2019, 2:12 AM
Sallyanna I write in third person for confidentiality. He has enough friends and family involved in drugs and alcohol that I don't want them to stumble upon a post or me. And just like I mentioned he is all about a contrived image. Anything that affects that could set him off like a rocket. Apparently his girl friends family talks about stuff on social media and that drives him nuts.

The family immediate and extend always drank openly without hesitation. That didn't help. And several in extended family with status/influence drank to excess. They paid and are paying with health and relationship issues. Yet they still drink. Dog house for me the party pooper.

But it literally wasn't until he got involved in organized sports that drinking and drugging became an issue not even necessarily with team mates. Certain partying players and management became his role model as a younger adult. Problem is he would drink & drug with his hang out friends AND his sports buddies. His 'regular' friends grew out of that era of drinking and drugging partly because that group of peers were the only time they drank/drugged. Here one night he's partying with his regular friends then the next day he's drinking with his sports friends, little or no break. Throw in casual drinking wether at a bar or home before you know there's drinking 7 days a week. He apparently also had bosses/management that partied alot and many young adults consider people in management a role model. Then pop culture went through party phases(glitter rock, rap, dance, the club scene & concerts etc) which are events & venues infested with drugs & party atmosphere.

Family has been issue for not taking excess drinking seriously. It could be enabling, naive & uninformed or blowing it off because they drink alot themselves. Seniors hoped time & age would change him, others wrote it off as a good time or his choice yet his choices affected the entire family dynamic. Oh there's some dysfunction here but as long as any family drinks to him that's validation of his behavior.

Posted by: Sallyanna May 1, 2019, 7:51 AM
Sounds to me he's been around drinking his whole life. He seems to have too much power if people are afraid to speak or write the truth about him. Is he dangerous? I still can't figure out how he lives this perceived lifestyle he has. Where does he get the money? Samegame I hope you don't have to be around him or these people much. You see what's what. They do not.

Posted by: samegame May 1, 2019, 8:55 AM
You're right his entire adult life has been filled with drinking and drugging.

He was enabled and not given enough boundaries by parents who thought time and age would temper him by their own admission. He wasn't spoiled but several times early on there were signs myself & others recognized including barely making it out of college/repeating a ton of courses-the parent should've said you don't pass I don't pay-they didn't even though frustrated. Thought he would grow out of that phase.

Before you know it he's in his 30s and living a bachelor's life of recreation. Money from job went to lifestyle, not things like a house or continuing education for career. He's good at disguising stuff & putting on an act. Not quite sure where he perfected the art of image and long con. As an adult he's always been able to find "adult" friends with a similar mindset although now he so old now friends are frequently half his age with their drinking validating his.

Long story short he spent alot of time playing the parents in high school that he continued to play them as an adult. He also knew how to measure their response frequently one step of ahead trouble/consequences-gaming people and the system. The more he got away with wether drunken behavior or unpaid loans that validated his behavior and intensified his sense of entitlement.

I will say more people have called him out such as lady friends as a middle aged adult and he does not handle it well. They've tired of the drinking, slobbish living and/or no serious career or domestic plans like buy a house.