Cg
Posted: May 3, 2012, 12:29 PM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



Well, if you wore any of those clothes in the car, then they would smell like the car. I was an inveterate car smoker, too...that's where I did most of my smoking, on the way to and from work.

Good for you for doing things to keep your non-smoking self on the front burner...all this stuff advances your process...I'm proud of you. You sound different this time.

xo ~S

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You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

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Posted: May 4, 2012, 11:48 AM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Spent the day febreezing and hanging stuff outside on the line. Stuff really does smell better. I made it to 6 days today. Why is it different this time? Because I really wanted it. I didn't make any excuses or leave myself any outs. I'm staying accountable. That and I haven't left the house except once (alone) so that I won't be tempted to buy cigarettes. Staying home and staying busy has been really productive. My house hasn't looked this good in a long time. I've been purging...if I haven't used it or seen it in 6 months, donation pile it went.

I would say that this helps most of all..stay busy.

Thanks S. You're a good friend.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 5, 2012, 12:54 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Day 7. A whole week. No little slip ups, no little nothing, I went a whole week and did not smoke nor do I want too.


LIttle miracles everywhere I look.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 5, 2012, 6:26 PM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



Yay!
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Posted: May 15, 2012, 12:04 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Today is day 18. I no longer need the nictrol inhalers...I think I did it. I think I can safely say that I am done. When I smell cigarettes now, I just hate it, don't want it.

But, not taking any chances..still ask God for one more day.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 15, 2012, 2:42 PM


Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011



Im so proud of you.


I think Im ready too. Yesterday I smoked 3. Today I still have one but I havent touched it. I feel good. I feel like I can really do it.....Thanx for doing it first. You gave me hope. Ive spent today praying and singing every church song I could remember. I just keep saying "I dont want to die, I WANT TO LIVE" I feel strong.


Jessie
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Posted: May 16, 2012, 12:31 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Jessi..you can do it honey, if I can, anyone can. I was/am that addicted. Cold turkey is hard so don't beat yourself up if you slip just don't leave yourself any outs and tell everyone you know that you've quit. It's really embarressing to light up after you've told people you don't smoke anymore. HA!

I feel so blessed, so inspired by all the women on this site that did it before me. I just kept reading what they wrote, every day. Thank you Jane, Stacey and S. My heros.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 17, 2012, 9:24 AM


Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011



Hi CG,

Im a little depressed and miserable today. Part of it is not smoking but I think an even bigger part is no coffee. Im not trying to not drink coffee I just cant right now cause it makes me want to smoke.

Oh Yeah! YAY!!! I made it all day yesterday without a cig! I really am proud and its not completely cold turkey. Im on a really low dose nicotine patch. But I was smoking like a pack a day....so Im still miserable. Its ok. I know its different this time. I really do not want to smoke anymore. Ive gotten of crack and dope. I know I can do this. Its so much better than being dope sick....but Im depressed and so tired...maybe Ill just sleep for a few days.

You are doing AMAZING! So happy for you,
Jessi
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Posted: May 17, 2012, 11:46 AM


Posts: 9248
Joined: December 1, 2005



Congrats, Lisa. That's huge. I remember at the 3 week mark, I knew deep down that I was done & if I was to pick up, just one, I'd never get this far again. So, one day at a time, I am still a non-smoker & loving all of the freedoms that come from it.....

You are a success. Enjoy your non-smoking status~!

And Jessi, I used the gum for around 2-3 weeks, my body needed the low dose of nicotine. The good news was at around 2-3 weeks, when I quit the gum, I didn't have any withdrawls at all.

Just for today, don't smoke....xoxo

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Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you.
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Posted: May 17, 2012, 11:55 AM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



Yeah it is! Lisa, I'm so proud of you. Isn't it funny how we make it such a big freakin' deal...and then it's not anymore? And isn't it surprising how quickly the smell becomes gross? You are a non-smoker!

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Posted: May 17, 2012, 12:04 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



HA! I used to have that poster in my office at school..too funny.

I'm glad that you are using the patch Jessi..that will help. And being tired? Me too! I fall asleep on the couch at any given time, it's wierd. But it is getting better, day by day. Stress is a real trigger for me and yesterday was make it or break it time. Long story but my son flew to Alaska last night hopefully to bring his kids home. I got through it, lots of deep breathing, lots of talking out loud and not trying to stuff how I was feeling.

Thank you Stace. Means alot. You girls have had a real hand in this.

I walked through somone's exhaled smoke the other day in the store parking lot and almost said something..almost. lol I had to remember that I was a smoker and there's nothing worse than having somebody give you crap about something you already know is bad for you. None of my business, sweep my own porch.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 18, 2012, 8:27 AM


Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011



Good-Morning, Friends!

This is the start of day 3 smoke free...Im so happy. I hated smoking I mean I loved it too of coarse, but I really hated it. I hated the way I smelled, I hated how my daughter would pick on me every time one of those smoking commercials came on with dead or dying people...Im grateful for that too. I would just feel so bad...so guilty. I even hated the taste and I really hated having to go out to our nasty, dirty, mouse infested garage to smoke...but I guess Im grateful for that now too. I dont have to go through too much in this house smelling like smoke.

My 14 year old is coming home for the weekend. Im a little worried cause I have gone back to smoking a couple of times before when he came home. He is very hard to deal with and I get frustrated. Im gonna do better this time. Ive already decided in my head how I will handle things differently this time.

Well I am getting really sleepy. So have a good day everyone.

Jessi
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Posted: May 21, 2012, 12:10 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Saturday my son came home from Alaska, divorced. It's over, finally. Focus is now on the kids where it belongs. They'll be here soon. So much drama, trauma...stress nearly did me in. I have to learn how to do this different. I get too involved, wanting to fix it immediatly and I hurt so bad when things don't go in the kid's favor. But I didn't smoke. I didn't go back to old behaviors, I tried new ones. Quitting any substance that's addictive is all about behaviors. Allowing your brain enough time to heal so that we can do better now that we know better. I'm on edge today but I'm ok. I know what to do and am so grateful that I can do that.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 24, 2012, 6:14 PM


Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011



Hi,

Well I quit last Tuesday or Wednesday...I messed up on Sunday but Im happy to say that I did not give up. Today is day 4 and Im feeling pretty good...well I have completely lost it a few times but Im doing it and Im outta patches so this is it. I am completely nicotine free. Its hard. I want a cigarette but I do believe I can get passed this cause I want to live more. I want to someday have grand-kids and get to be there for them. I dont want to die. I dont want to stink, and I dont want to wake up coughing everyday. That is getting better already.

Thats it. I just wanted to say Hi! :)
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Posted: May 25, 2012, 12:02 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



I'm really proud of you Jessi. Don't worry about the slip up, just a speed bump..that important thing is, is that you don't ever stop trying.

I ran into a friend yesterday and she saw on FB that I had quit and was really happy for me but couldn't imagine herself without cigarettes. I told her that I couldn't either, they were that much of a crutch to me but for some reason, it just happend to be the right timing, the right words spoken (here) that got me to at least try and when I tried, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

Stacey, Jane, S and Jessi..you have all done this for me. I can never thank you enough. I'm sure God had a hand in it too, I asked to be willing and to listen, and I did.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 30, 2012, 12:47 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



I slipped. Smoked on Sunday for no apparent reason? Someone's pack was on the picnic table and I took one. The thing that scared me most was that it was like I had never quit. Didn't make me sick or even light headed. It did however make me very disgusted with myself. No will power whatsoever. I suck.

So then, in all of my wonderful wisdom, thought, ok, might as well get it out of my system..bought a pack and smoked until last night. Threw what was left away before I went to bed and today, I start over.

What is WRONG with me? I know the answer to that, I'm just really sad. Made it almost to a month.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 31, 2012, 1:17 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



So now my big plan is to try again this weekend. I bought another pack yesterday.

What is WRONG WITH ME?

Sigh.

Give it to God and keep reading these posts. Instead of being inspiring though, I am throughly depressed.

What is it that makes cigarettes so much harder to quit? I had better luck at pills than I do with these goddamn things.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: July 3, 2012, 11:17 AM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



I quit again. God, what is this, like the 10th or 11th time? Maybe more.

I did get the vapor e-cig this time. I love it. Has very little nicotine, none of the toxins and I have had no cravings or desire to smoke since Sat. morning. So, 3 days today.

Are these things really that safe? Why can't I just smoke this forever? It doesn't stink, in fact smells sweet. And it's just warm air in your lungs, right?

Mine electric blue and so pretty..I have a strap that I wear over my neck to hold it. Oh no, is that pathetic? God, I'm pathetic.

But, I'm not smoking.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: July 3, 2012, 12:53 PM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



I draw the line at wearing like a fashion accessory =)

I'm still vaping and okay with it, and doc says my lungs are clear. Still another addictive behavior, but it's not killing me, so I'll stop when I'm ready.

Did you use the company I sent you? I love their stuff.

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You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

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Posted: July 11, 2012, 12:47 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



No I didn't. My sister in law started using one and when I asked about it, she jumped on it and ordered me one, it came 2 days later. The company is local. I love thier stuff so far.


I really need to talk to you..call me when you can, ok? I want to ask you stuff that's too tiresome to write out!

xoxoxox

And hey, 11 days today! Not one cigarette!

PS..I don't wear the strap anymore..lol looked kinda goofy according to Jake.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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