Cg
Posted: April 9, 2012, 10:59 AM


Posts: 2944
Joined: January 11, 2006



How did your weekend go? Weekends were the worst for me for trying to quit smoking and or other things. Did ya make it?

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My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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Posted: April 9, 2012, 1:06 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



No <cringe>. I did not. I had a million excuses too. Why it was too stressful for me not to smoke. My latest excuse is that Jake moved from home and is in student housing in a not very nice area of Seattle. I swear, I don't sleep at night anymore.

I have a new plan. Because I won't give up. April 28th is my clean date. Might as well make it my stop smoking date too. I have everything I need to start that day. If I can do it before then, then all the better. I just know that I can't stop trying.

I'm starting to look at cigs as though they are heroin. The more I want to quit, the more I think about it, the more I want to smoke. What is up with that?

Thanks for checking on me Jane. Means alot..I love you man.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 9, 2012, 2:46 PM


Posts: 2944
Joined: January 11, 2006



Love you too friend. I agree, the only way you can loose is to stop trying. So just keep on keepin on. Heroin. Yup, I've come off of every kind of drug out there and cigarettes were very hard. I doon't think it compares to being dope sick. But its, its own little hairy beasty animal. Not fun. But doable.

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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Posted: April 10, 2012, 1:06 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



I didn't mean to make it sound like being dope sick, no, I know it's no where near that...it's the anxiety that gets me. That craving turns into panic. These inhalers I have seem to work the best so that's what I'll stick with to start with. They have a calming effect.

Every day I smoke one less. I'm keeping a journal about it, that was a suggestion by my sponsor who is a non smoker. It's helping. Nicotine is a drug, right? So I'm treating it like one.

((hug)))

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 10, 2012, 2:51 PM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



It's about behaviors and triggers, not about the drug...always about the behaviors and the control...

You can do this.

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You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

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Posted: April 11, 2012, 12:16 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



But isn't the drug about behaviors and control? The drug controls us and causes the behaviors?

Anyway you look at it, you're right, change the behaviors and hopefully, the rest will follow.



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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 23, 2012, 12:32 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Today is the last Monday I will smoke. This will be the last week that I will smoke.

One less every day. By Sunday, I'll be done and using just the inhalers. I am ready. I am excited, I want this. I don't want to stink anymore. I don't want to die before I'm ready. I want to be a good role model for my 2 older boys and really don't want my grandkids to see me smoke ever again.

I can do this. Cigarettes do NOT have power over me.

I can, I can do this.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 23, 2012, 3:09 PM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



Yeah you can...totally...good attitude buddy =)

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You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

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Posted: April 24, 2012, 12:51 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Thanks S. You know how much your written word means to me.. :)

I did what I said I would do yesterday and will do it again today. I keep having these internal battles of will with myself. I am stronger than this, no you're not, it's an addiction. blah blah blah.

What I need to remember is that at my age, time goes so fast. It was just Friday and here is it Tuesday. When I quit on Sunday, it'll already be Wednesday.

I have a list of stuff that I've been putting off doing, cleaning rooms and closets..that's what I'll keep myself busy with until I drop. I will read the threads here every time I get a craving. Especially Jane's...

I do want this. I am so ready.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 25, 2012, 11:48 AM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Yesterday I smoked one less. Down to 4 a day now. I'm taking a certain time that I smoke and eliminated it from the day. Behaviors. Breaking behaviors.

I actually had an anxiety attack about quiting this weekend. How stupid is that? Maybe I should just get it over with and stop torturing myself? This is my way of weaning and it never worked for me before...

We'll see what today brings.

I've been on websites this morning about what smoking does to you...haven't smoked yet. Maybe printing out those images and taping them all over the house will do the trick.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 25, 2012, 1:09 PM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



Here's a good question...

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Posted: April 26, 2012, 11:57 AM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Oh gross.

But yea, those are the kind of warnings I've been seeing and reading. They aren't just a ploy to get us to quit, they are true. I can't even imagine what my lungs look like.

The first thing I think about when I wake up is, I am quitting smoking on Sat. Only 3 more days to smoke. Then I get into an argument with myself about what a good thing that is. The anxiety of this is stupid. Just like quitting pills, it's like losing an old friend. A friend that's killing me.

I think they should market cig packs like they do in other countries. With pictures of people dying of cancer and dead babies. Ok, well, maybe not the baby part but give people something to think about before they smoke. I wish I'd never started.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 28, 2012, 10:49 AM


Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011



Hi,

How is everyone today? I started trying to taper off smoking about a week ago. Yesterday I had a doctors appointment and on the way I brought a pack of cigs. I was so mad at myself. I was down to like 2 a day and than yesterday I smoked a half a pack. Anyway, I plan on starting over today. Hopefully I will keep it down to 4 or 5 today and then 2 or 3 tomorrow and then one and then none. LOL! Sounds so easy when I write it down. But it fills me with panic. The doctor want to start treating me for my Hep C. The first thing he wanted to know is if I drink, smoke or do drugs. Its really bad for me, cause the Hep effects my liver and any of that will make it worse. I have to stop now. Its so ridiculous that I know what it is doing to me and I dont stop. We are not starting treatment until Sept. Its supposed to be kinda bad so I wanted to wait till my daughter goes to college. I have too much to do before then. But I have to quit NOW. No more putting it of off. I want to live, and I want to be as healthy as I can be....I took my dogs for a walk this morning. I usta do that a lot more. They were so happy. I felt guilty. I cant just sit around smoking or eating to get over the fact that I dont have crack and dope. I want to get up every day and walk my dogs and I want to be able to breath while I do it.

Hey CG! Today is your day, right? Im thinking about you, praying for you and cheering you on. :)
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Posted: April 29, 2012, 10:39 AM


Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011



Well my saving cigs for myself didnt quite work the way I planned. I was supposed to have 5 for today and 3 for the next day and maybe 1 for the day after that. But here I am with 3 cigs. I feel panic coming over me and I hate it. This is what always happens. I freak out and buy cigs......I dont want to. I am fighting. I do have a bunch of patches. I was gonna try to do it without them but maybe not. They do help. They get you usta not having a cig in your hand.

I havent smoked yet today and I feel a little crazy But I DID walk my dogs again. I am very happy about that. Thats the kind of person I want to be. The kind of person who gets up EVERYDAY and goes for long walks with the dogs....without feeling out of breath. I want to be healthy.

Ok, Im gonna go eat breakfast. Hope you guys are doing well.
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Posted: April 30, 2012, 11:46 AM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



What I found Jess, is that trying to taper cigarettes didn't work any better than trying to taper pills. I would find so many excuses to smoke more than I had planned. It's a viscious cycle. I allowed myself one last week to smoke, set a date and then smoked my (hopefully) last cigarette the night before. So, Sunday, yesterday, I didn't smoke all day. I haven't yet today either. I have no cigarettes in the house, what few I did have left, I broke into tiny little pieces, leaving nothing at the filter to smoke and I'm not going anywhere today until my husband gets home to help me take the dogs to the vet. I don't trust myself to go anywhere by myself yet. I do have the nictrol inhaler and it works pretty damn good. I only had one melt down yesterday late afternoon. The sound of my husband's voice was starting to get really annoying. I just needed him to stop talking and when he didn't, I had to tell him to do so and then ran out of the room yelling the F word. Lasted about 20 seconds and then I cried and was ok. It's not him and he knows it's not. It's the cravings, the emotions, the frustration. I felt so much better afterward.

Today I'm calm. Surprisingly. I want this so damn bad that after gettting a little more than 24 hours under my belt, I'm not giving it back.

Today I am a non smoker.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: April 30, 2012, 6:13 PM


Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011



Thats what happened to me today....Big fight with my mom, my daughters sad about something and wont tell me what it is so after screaming at my mom. My daughter sent me a text and I started crying unfortunately, I did have to go out and I did get cigs....but Im not gonna give up trying or wanting to stop. I am going to do this....Just sadly not today.

Tomorrows my daughters 18th bday. I want her to be happy and my heart is breaking that something bad is going on with her and she wont share it with me. Hopefully I can get her to smile tomorrow. I spent the whole day going to walmarts looking for the exact bike she wants for college. Finally found it but I had to wait for them to put it together. Im so tired. I have a really pretty cake planned for her. Hopefully I can pull it of. It has lots of piping detail. Its so nice. the top almost looks like a lace doily and I brought some pre-done red icing roses. Should be great.

Keep up the good work! Im proud of you!

Love, Jessi
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Posted: May 1, 2012, 11:39 AM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Anxiety, stress, even just life can get in your way if you let it. But just like quitting drugs, we have to want this bad enough. Just because it's legal, doesn't make it healthy or ok.

Yes, I am officially on my soap box now when it comes to smoking. Took 3 days and I'm the smoke natzi. It's the only way I can do this, to keep convincing myself that I am not a smoker..everyone will just have to bear the wrath for awhile. I did this when I quit in 1985, pregnant with my second. If you smoked around me, you were more than sorry.

Just don't let one excuse after another keep you from not trying every day. Even if you fail, tomorrow's a clean slate and another chance. I really don't think I could have done it without these Nicotral inhalers though. Cold turkey from nicotine is just cruel. I haven't had to use it yet today, so it's not something I plan on using for much longer.

Remember Jess, you do this for you, no one else. And if you can't today, then you can't. But give yourself a date and try to stick to it.

How did your daughter's birthday turn out? Did she like the bike?

(hugs)

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 2, 2012, 12:23 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



Day 4. I am really doing this. I think I got to 2 weeks at one point but had slipped a few times during those 2 weeks so they don't count. Today is 4 days without smoking period.

It's amazing how much better my chest feels already. My sense of smell is coming back and that's not always a good thing in this house. One thing I do notice is my closet. It smells like cigarettes. Do I have to wash everything in there? Going to try Frebreeze and see if that helps. I did wash all my coats and bedding.... I could smell it on my pillows and comforter.

How long before I get to say I'm truly a non smoker? Breathing in God and letting out all the bs is helping too. I usually poo poo that stuff but it works, by God, it works.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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Posted: May 2, 2012, 10:04 PM


Posts: 8674
Joined: April 24, 2007



Wash the clothes, or put them outside...I hung mine on the line and even hung my stuff on hangers in trees for half a day or so...it helped a lot. Weather's nice, go ahead...

Definitely wash the bedding...that crap you smell is toxic chemicals that have gotten into your fibers...second-hand smoke is no joke and it's not just about the actual smoke. There's a good deal of evidence that babies should not be held by smokers unless they have changed their clothes, or at least any clothing that they will put their little faces in....that stuff is carbon monoxide, formaldehyde, arsenic, all kinds of nasty...and babies breathe it in off of clothing that smells that strongly.

You ARE a non-smoker...wash that stuff and it will feel great. xo

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You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

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Posted: May 3, 2012, 12:23 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



I just don't understand how it got on my clothes so badly? Was it coming out of my pores? I never smoked without this one jacket on...washed it regularly. Of course I understand that if it got in my hair (of which there is lots), it would transfer to my pillows. Ick.

Everything is going outside today.

And you are right about the second hand smoke, I never thought of it being in my house though because I never smoked in the house. Jesus, what have I done?

I had my car detailed last night. It smells brand new. He put some kind of cherry wood enzyme in it so it completely nuetralized the smoke smell. I love my car again. Truck in next. That's one thing I did do was smoke in the car and truck. What a moron.

If this isn't more of a reason to quit, I don't know what is. Putting children at risk is the lowest of lows.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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