|Hello this is the first time I've ever discussed this... Long story short, I'm a married 34 yr old mother of 3. I started using pills @14, then led to heroin heroin.... At the age of 20 I got into a MAT center with methadone. I went up to the dose of 240mg. Crazy right? While still using still. Got kicked out,stayed on heroin until I was 23 when I found out I was pregnant...... I got into another MAT center& only did that. Did great kept dose low. Well I Had my child & was put on Xanax & at that clinic it was at had a no benzo policy, which I was prescribed because of severe anxiety& panic attacks. I got kicked out the clinic. 10 day detox, hit me like a ton of bricks hitting me weeks later... Started using again.... Well 3 &half years ago I went to the county I live in & said I need help... They referred me to another mat clinic & ever since the first day I never used again... Well now I want to get off. I know I'm better than I've ever been but I just don't want to be on anything anymore... At my clinic you can go up 5 mg every day if u want but when u want to detox its 2 mg twice a week. That'll take a long time, which dont get me wrong I don't want to just jump off but I think I could be a little faster. Am I over thinking it or just having mixes feelings? I just don't want anymore crutches.