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|Message Board > Other Addictions > I'm Adicted To Being A Prostitute Please Help|
|Posted by: anna-1986 May 19, 2013, 12:38 PM|
|Please someone help me I don't know if this is a common problem or not but I think I'am addicted to being a prostitute I have been a prostitute since I was only 17 years old I'am 26 years old now I absolutely hate doing the actual job I hate the men I see and I hate doing it it fills me with dread when I know I'm about to do it and when I'm doing the job I feel horrible like I could literally rip the mans head off (or other things) it makes me angry and sad but I keep doing it I live in England and if I get caught doing it from home which I do then I will loose my council flat as you are not allowed to run a bussiness through a council flat I love my home and I would have no where to go if I lost this flat my whole life would be ruined I also have a dog and me and her are like a little family she's all I have and if I loose this flat I wouldn't have anywhere for us to live and I would just kick myself that should be a reason not for me to take the risk of prostituting I know I need to stop doing it I keep telling myself I will stop doing it but I never do does anyone know why? I don't even really need the money I don't take drugs any more I used to smoke a lot of weed and take coke and pills but I haven't done hard drugs for over a year and I haven't smoked weed for 8 months neither do I want too I have savings in my bank I have everything I need for me and my dog and basically everything I want a nice big t.v, sofa, bed, exercise machine, furniture I have a good life now and I hate being a prostitute so why do I do it? and how can I stop? For about 2 years now I've been telling myself don't be a prostitute and work from home you will get caught out and be arrested and what will happen to your dog you will be sitting in a prison cell thinking I would pay 10 grand to get out of here and go back to how it was before I got caught so why do I keep doing it sometimes not even for much money just like £40? I'd be grateful for anyones opinions and advice thanks|
|Posted by: Care4u July 18, 2013, 8:36 AM|
|hey dont beat yourself up, i know its not much but try and cherish the good moments each day and KNOW that very soon your addiction will gradually diminish
Love your self dont hate yourself
|Posted by: Addie August 1, 2013, 9:50 PM|
|hi. i read your post and relate to it. I am a guy and I pay prostitutes regularly for their service. sometimes, i hate what i do with them because it is not normal. first because i have lost tons of money and still am. second, it seems as if i am only using their body to jerk off and there can't ever be a connection like in normal relationships. third, i am abusing a lady as i'm using her as an object for sexual gratification. i am sorry you have those feelings against the guys who visit you. it's not their fault either to seek prostitutes because there is a thing called 'sex addiction'. human brain easily gets addicted to many chemicals that rush through it when engaging in sex. chemicals such as adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine etc. are drugs that are released inside the brain and are called endorphines(two words=endo means built inside and morphine which is the name of a pain killer). so these are naturally created drugs that kill pain just like pharmacy drugs. but the difference is, these chemicals are horribly addictive as they get the stress and tension built in the brain away (only for a short while) and they give an instant feel good sensation. endorphines are thousand times more addictive than cocaine. they are also called the drug of the millinium and very very addictive. i have a lot of research and i am a sex addict myself. i know from personal experience and neuroscience research says it is really hard to stop despite the negative consequences or risks that are involved. most risks are even life threatening like AIDS, HIV and other nasty STDs.
looking at your circumstances, you seem to be addicted to sex. you could be a sex addict. nobody likes to be a sex addict but it helps to first admit it(to find out if u r one, try to stop prostitution for a month or two, if you can go without it for a year, you are ok, if not u could be one). like most sex addicts, you are also putting off change when there is still time. i know of many cases that this addiction has had taken lives, families, carriers, friends, freedom, everything. sex addicts seldom make a change when there is still time before they hit rock bottom and that means coming to a point where nothing is left in life to live for, only then it hits us so hard to make a sincere decision to start doing something about it. please, do not put off your recovery from this. there is still time, you are young and you could make a good family one day, have a decent job, have a relationship, children, house, car, friends, etc. don't sell yourself short. you have a great potential, all human beings have, but we just make bad choices in life to end up somewhere undesirable.
there is hope to get out of this thing. there is a solution but it is a life long process to change. unfortunately there is no magic pill that will take it away instantly. it needs hard and consistent work to change but it is not impossible. it is a tough nut to crack on your own and you need help. there's plenty of help available only if you desire to seek it.
all the best
|Posted by: anna-1986 August 11, 2013, 2:57 PM|
|No I'am not addicted to the sex I hate the sex and the experience of sleeping with men for money I'am addicted to the money if one of the clients said do you want to take the money and not do anything with him I would straight away ok from a prostitutes point of view and this might help you and put you off? Every time I see a client even if he's nice enough my skin crawls when he touches me it feels so horrible the whole time I'm thinking hurry up hurry up so this can be over and thinking about how much I hate the man but I want the money I've been doing this for about 8 years and become addicted to the money if someone invites me out or I want something all I have to do is see a client all I have to do I say but it kills me inside but I want the money I hate it but I want the money I think because I've been doing it for so long I'm so addicted to the money I can't stop although I know I should and want too. Next time you see a working girl remember that this girl hates you and is so desperate for the money she feels she has no option some girls are in an even worse position to me that actually have no choice as they have drug addictions to feed that's even worse! so you really want to have sex with someone who you are making their skin crawl just by touching them? can't you get a blow up doll or something!!! I don't mean to be offensive I'm just telling you what it's like from the point of view of the girl and hopefully it will make you think next time!!|
|Posted by: Lacy September 1, 2013, 11:47 PM|
|When I was reading your post I was thinking wow, this girl is exactly like me. I've been an escort for about 10 years now and for the last couple years I keep telling myself and the people close to me that I'm going to stop but there's always an excuse, oh I have to pay this bill or I have to pay that bill or after I move I'll stop or when I start school I'll stop, there's always an excuse and I can never seem to quit what I'm doing. Just like you I hate it also, I used to become very angry and want to hurt the guys that are touching me, now I've become somewhat numb. I don't get as enraged as I used to but sometimes I still do and it takes everything in me to just let them do their thing without fighting it. I am not addicted to sex either, I hate it. I hate what I'm doing but I just can't seem to quit. I've been given every opportunity to get out of the business. I have finally got accepted into school and it's an amazing opportunity but every day I am contemplating on quitting so that I can work full time and even when I am in school I still work as often as I can. This is a very addicting lifestyle and it's hard to get out of. I know that my life is in danger, I've had quite a few close calls already and I'm sure that if I continue to do this I will get killed sooner then later from one of these a*******. I don't really have friends anymore because I've become so angry that nobody can handle me anymore. It hurts to live this type of life, especially when you do it sober. I have been sober and haven't touched drugs or alcohol in almost 9 years so almost every single call I've done I've had to endure it being fully conscientious of what I'm going through. It's nice to find somebody else like me, maybe we can talk more through email. I always wish I had somebody to talk to about this but I have nobody. Hope to hear from you.|
|Posted by: flipperbaby September 2, 2013, 5:51 PM|
|Damn that hits hard. Sober to boot?? That's chilling stuff sister. You seem like a bright, intelligent woman and would bet you'd thrive once you find your happiness. You need to stop this yesterday. Rooting for you sister. Be well. Be safe.|
|Posted by: Guest September 5, 2013, 9:07 AM|
|addie? Addicted to sex? Errrrrrm, no. No offense, and you have been candid with your own addiction, but women and some men that are out there working who have sold their soul to men like you don't want to be there. What they need to do is pay bills, feed their kids, make the rent.
Prayers and care sent to you ladies.
|Posted by: Guest September 5, 2013, 9:13 AM|
|anna, please, please know my heart breaks for you.
Honestly I do not believe you're addicted to prostitution. You're "addicted" to the money. It's what you know. Kind of like a waitress. They know them tips at the end of the night. They have that money in their hand and they know how to get good tips because usually they've been doing it since they were 17 years old like you.
Your pup needs you. You need you. You're obviously a very intelligent young woman and have survived this ugly world so far on your own.
Is there any outreach services where you live? Even try and call a crisis line like RAINN or Women Organized Afainst Rape and they could point you in a direction that can get you help.
Stand tall, sweetie. Know you are cared for. Know you're a good momma to your doggie. Know there's a way out.
|Posted by: anna-1986 September 13, 2013, 2:30 PM|
|Thank you for your kind words everyone I wrote this post ages ago and no one replied for a while and I didn't think anyone would then I looked again today and loads of people have replied thank you, Lacy I feel angry all the time too and snap at the littlest things I just thought that was the way I was but maybe it is because of the prostitution? I always write a list of everything I need then say I will stop after that but I still always end up writing another list of things I need a week later it's not about greed I think it's about security I have lost everything before and I lost my last dog when I was only 19 because I couldn't afford rent and to look after him it was a really traumatic time as I really loved him I think because I couldn't go through having that happen to me again with my dog now that's why I keep doing it so we can be secure but I've got my council flat now I can't be kicked out of here and if I'm not working my rent will be paid in housing benefits so I don't have to worry about loosing my home me and my dog have a roof over our heads that's the main thing there's more of a chance I'll loose my home if I carry on doing it I really need to stop doing it!! my life has gone wrong so many times I just panic that it could happen again and having money is the only way I can try and keep mine and my dogs life secure I suppose the thing is I haven't told my doctor or anyone I'm doing this job as it's illegal so I don't want to get in trouble but I think I do need some help as for years now I've been wanting to stop but can't|
|Posted by: Rebecca October 27, 2013, 6:24 AM|
|Hi, I just came across this post & I can empathise with you! I've been a prostitute for 10 years with a couple of year-long breaks when I had boyfriends. There are three things which I think make me addicted to prostitution, 1.The speed at which decent cash can be made. 2 - The thrill of a) the experience (not all), b) the shower after the booking, c) knowing that booking is over, d) knowing I've got money. And 3 - feeling alone, lost without prostitution, confused about my identity, desiring romantic love, and general boredom.... "So I may as well just do it!"
Can you identify with any of these feelings? We can eliminate the first one now, as you say you don't really need the money. Do you like the THRLL of it in some way? (not the sex, but the speed of the $, the 'double life' etc) Are you lonely, have low self-esteem and/or are bored?
Is it for MONEY, THRILL or TO FILL A VOID in your life? Perhaps you could further identify this, then seek professional help? A sex therapist could be a good bet, rather than a general psychologist. Maybe read some 'prostitute survivors' blogs too! They've helped me recently! Good luck babe! Xx
|Posted by: deen November 15, 2013, 11:59 AM|
|Dear Anna/Rebecca and all
Yes I do frequent sex parlours, not quite addicted. I too am in a good loving relationship but... there are times one wishes for something extra, on the side, exciting whatever term you may wish to use. I also wish to break this habit but we all do it for a reason , you for the money, I for the gratification. There is guilt on both sides but at the end of the day we have to remain safe. I treat the ladies with utmost respect and care and I can only hope that no one comes to harm. I wonder sometime if women to have the same urge as men and there was a similar ease of access to sex as men have. The money is good. You do provide a valuable service.
|Posted by: Roxanne December 5, 2013, 7:52 PM|
|Hi, thought I would write a post as the comments are recent ish and I feel the same way. I have been working 5years and I to feel that it is to hard for some reason to stop working. The money mainly, and I am to doing it sober for 3months before that I was quite heavy working on drink, coke, mdna, weed.. Now I just smoke outside work but I do feel alot of anger towards the clients no matter how nice they are I just wish the time end sooner... Even make sure am out in 15 unless he is a clock watcher lol. Anyway I can't figure out why I still work this type of job when I clearly can't stand the Actual job. I wouldn't think I am a sex addict as the work sex is s*** n I mean s***.. Am good there s*** - not to be big headed lol. I absoluty love the sex with my bf and strangly enough he knows and excepts I work.. Which most working gurls bfs know, clients are shocked that a working girl can be in a relationship with the bf that knows they work but yeah he knows, I met him in a parlour not as a client but as the door man of a parlour we both worked in - both dismissed from there. Problem is tho deep down he wants me to stop, deep down I want to stop... I can't even stop for him.. And it's only a matter of time before he has had enough and finds someone else. I keep planning and saying to myself that I need to stop and work legit and forget about being a prostitute and better myself. I have stopped a few tyms but not more than 2months and I was bored, I missed the gurls and the money me the conversations you have when you meet new people, you get to know alot of people when working gurls, receptionists, clients, security, bosses. Especially if you work in parlour and move to different ones. I know for a fact that I can go into any parlour in manchester and will know 1 girl on that shift and within a week of working there would of seen clients from other parlours. So I guess I like the social bit of working then.. So the sex is s***, the money good and th social good.. The drugs bad bad bad, spiralled right out of my control when is world while on drugs as the shift is a chill and makes ya even more annoyed with clients especially if there dry. I would carry on after work and tx privates or other working gurls or odd mates that party with working girls to carry on the drugs and make abit extra cash aswel seeing them. Then wen lunch time finises nxt day am looking s***, feeling s***, feeling depressed should I say be wanting my bed, once in bed the guilt and pure heavy emotions rattle my brain how I got so mash up After work.. Then retrace to getting mashed at work... Work was the party and I made the after party after work.. Pathetic that I found it so hard to just work get my money and head home.. Instead the routine would continue. That was 3 months ago and now my mind is clearing up from that grey dirty cloud. All I want to so is stop working, get a nice legit job, stay with my bf and enjoy life pretending I never was a prostitue... Just need to get rid of my fear of loosing the prostitue life I don't want for the better stable life we need. Sorry to rabbit on just expressing myself to those who can connect xx roxanneRoxanne.email@example.com|
|Posted by: Andrea December 9, 2013, 9:21 PM|
|Hi! Im in similar situation. I been working since i was 17 years old, im 22 now. Me ex bf introduced me to this, i used to give all my money to him and thought it was ok but after 1 year i realised it was wrong what i was doing and the fact that i was giving all my money to him so somehow i got rid of him i moved to a different city but i kept on being a prostitute. I just wanted to work for another year make some money and then quit...but it never happened. I wanted to quit so many times, i tried so many times but ended up in the same place. I had another bf that i met as a customer and he seemed to understand me.we been together for 1 and half year but now we split up he said he couldnt put up anymore with my job, he wanted me to stop.and i didnt.so he left me....he didnt respect me anymore. he said im doing it because im attention seeker but he never understood i hated the actual job, but i loved the money.Now im all alone, i have nobody. All i have is the girls at work and the customers which i hate them.i dont go out at night, i dont drink, i dont take drugs.when im not working i just stay home.it feels like im wasting my life. I just want someone to come along "save" me. I thought this guy was the one meant to take me out from there.but i guess its only me who can make this decision, not someone else. But i cant see a way out of this. I read the other posts and i can feel what you girls feel. We live in a fantasy world. We lie to people and we lie to ourselves.|
|Posted by: theresearcher December 16, 2013, 5:03 PM|
|Im sorry for the frustration. I think that addictions are very similar. They are chemical addictions in the brain. I think that getting outside help is best and learning how to manage your addiction will prove the best thing for you.|
|Posted by: Ivan December 22, 2013, 10:42 AM|
Your story resonated with my current situation. I know this girl that works as a prostitute, we have known each other for more than 3 years, I am a regular client of her in a brothel in the Netherlands and I almost exclusively go with her. Over the years we have developed a close relationship and now she comes and visits me to my place every now and then just to spend time together without money involved. We have been discussing about her moving in with me and she claims that she wants to work for one more year after 9 years of working in this. I told her that it is ok with me as long that it is only one more year. I don't want her to keep working on this because I can clearly see that she hates it, but she thinks that she cannot do anything else. I keep telling her that she is very smart and that she can do anything she wants, but I can see that she has a low self-esteem. I am really trying to help her, but I don't know how.
Last week she came to visit me and we had a great time. When we woke up she was very happy and smiling, but then she realized that she had to go to work and was trying to cheer her up and suddenly she snapped at me. She said that she was not happy of going to have sex with other men ... I didn't know what to say. I wanted her to stay with me and don't go there ever again. But I also didn't want to put any pressure on her because it is a decision that she has to make by herself. In the end I told her that I didn't know what to say and she almost chew my head off and left really angry. I think that she wanted me to tell her not to go, and since I didn't she got really angry.
If in the end she moves in with me I really don't want her to work there anymore, not only because of the fact that she has sex with other men, but specially because I can see that this is too damaging for her.
Given that you had a similar experience, could you give me some advise? I really care about her.
|Posted by: Gary January 6, 2014, 10:31 PM|
|I would like to follow up on this post a little.
My problem is if you can call it that, Is I fell in love with a prostitute who is also addicted to H and C.
I can say that my love for her is strong enough to carry us through just about anything that comes our way. She has a 6yr old daughter living with her mom in another state.
She is 30 yrs old and started this life at 17 and has had a very hard life as im sure you can guess.
But we have been together for less then a year and she has already tried to quit two times, both the drugs and the work.
The has stoped the work because it was only for the habit, and has not stoped trying to stop that either, she is going longer and longer between fixes.
I guess my message is to both the client and the working lady.
Anything is possable,
To the ladies you never who you'll meet, he could be the man of your dreams or even just a man that can love you like no other man ever has.
And stick by you through good and bad, no matter what comes up.
To the men.
If you have been seeing a working girl its because you have something missing in your life, even if you are in a relationship, something is missing.
Remember that she is a person first, a women and she has feelings and they can be hurt.
If you are seeing her just as a worker you may be missing out on a love like you have never known and only dreamed of.
As I said my girlfriend is 30 and I am 62 but she was ready for love and a relationship and I thank God every day.
I was long over do for the way she makes me feel and can't believe that this beautiful women loves me enough to get out of that life.
And I can also thank God for that as well.
|Posted by: Andrea January 20, 2014, 8:25 PM|
I dont know if this will help you but i think you should tell your girlfriend to stop going there, try help her find another job where she can meet nicer people that she doesnt have to sleep with them. Maybe she cannot ask you for help, maybe she is too proud but you should reassure her that you will be there for her, show her love, maybe she is not strong enough to take a decision by herself. She might just need a bit pushed in the right direction. Tell her that you you dont like she is working there, tell her how you feel. She probably think you alright with that. Give her love and attention, is very important. And once she stop doing that job keep on showing her love, listen to her, try help her stay away from there. I dont know, i hope this will help. she got angry at you cause u didnt know what to say. Tell her u care abt her and you would like to have her only for yourself and not share her. It kills her inside she has to sleep with other people but she doesnt know any better. If u love her truly, be there for her. Good luck
|Posted by: addict January 24, 2014, 6:11 AM|
|This is a serious problem. It will be very hard to cure but you can just as long as you have patience and take one day at a time. I have had serious problems in my life related to this issue. first of all, i you have your health, you are so many steps ahead of so many other people who have ruined their health with addictions.
I think the best thing anyone can do in this situation is to change your life in other ways, and not bring the old back into the new. For example, if you have a chance to move, or go away for a while, do it, but don't bring your old habits with you. This will make it a lot easier. If you can't move or go away, then change other things about your life. find new friends, join a church, get a different job, etc. these things are not at all easy, but the challenges will help distract you as well.
You need to find something solid to hold onto spiritually as well. This can seem very hard, or even fake, but it's not. The fact that you suffer means that you are a spiritual being. Just remember that. And if you end up joining a church or something, don't get caught up in the details or what you don't like about it. Just be thankful you have people around you who may be complete strangers but they have compassion for you and you for them, and all of you are seeking a better relationship with God.
Eventually, you will meet someone who loves you and understands you and you will want to make the effort to do the same for that person. And that will also help you.
|Posted by: sameer April 9, 2014, 5:38 PM|
Really sad for you girl!
But i would like to talk about one and only solution for this.
Start reading quran then further start reading namaz with sincere heart and connect to your creator.
Your entire programming with you will change, and Allah will convert your sins into good deeds.
Can you even think what is at stake, yes all your sins into good deeds and on judgement day instead of humiliation you will be honoured with paradise an eternal bliss. Even allah will provide honour to you in this world removing all your past hurts.
He is only master to entire human kind from first to last man and women. We invite trouble like this only when we disobey him. But there is always a way out as long as we have our life.
But if you dont, try every damn thing in this world you would end up in bed with man just using you as an object. No honour in this world as fire of hell in hereafter.
Satan plays with our ego to make us do things against our ownselves. I love you sister thus suggest you only way out.
Commit yourself to 1 year to this and believe me you will reply me with a message that you are the person given the best life in this world.
May Allah guide us all.
|Posted by: xlily0x April 13, 2014, 2:19 PM|
|I have been on and off prostituting since I was 19 years old (I am 25 now) and feel this exact same way. I hate the sex I hate the people, I was hooked on drugs but then got clean and thought that was the reason I still prostituted but it is not. I got hooked to the lifestyle. I dont even care about the money! I get a rush from taking the calls and feeling in charge. I sometimes root it back to confidence problems i have had. The more calls I get and the more money they give me and the compliments I get means thats how desirable I am. I get confidence from doing this because at the end of the day after I count up how many people i did and how much money I have that number reflects how much confidence I gained that day. I dont know if anyone else thinks this way.|
|Posted by: poopie April 14, 2014, 9:58 PM|
|look at your dog--he loves you so much --look around you ,,it will all be gone .if you don't stop. And im a Amish girl. Please be careful dear.poopie|
|Posted by: Prostitutes need luv 2 May 23, 2014, 1:47 PM|
|Wow we are not alone their are plenty off woman that I can relate too I appreciate all the comments. It's hard theirs always a story and the detachment is what hurts the most not that you want to be connect to a client it just carries over to real life and your over all charectar changes your outlook...on life and love ..who ever reads this and you are still in it I think your strong I think your beautiful I think your worth the world I also extend my arms to you and send you a. Ig hug ...remember no matter where when how rich or poor she's just going to fall into it ...the problem is getting out ...my we all find the strength|
|Posted by: Imelda May 29, 2014, 4:12 PM|
|I an trying to quit too, I have been on and off for the past 2yrs. For me too it's not really the sex , the thrill comes with all this fantasy world. Being in control of picking a guy up. I don't work in a brothel or on the streets but like to pick up
A rich guy in a bar then go back to his fancy hotel and be treated with ' love' even for just a few minutes then be paid, all those stories you tell sometimes lies and lies . When I stay in and decide to do something else, I get bored and the life style and friends i hang out with , it terrifies me to feel that iam going to be alone and work in a factory not be able to dress elegantly every evening , sipping champagne . It's all fun during the night but as you leave the guys hotel or his apartment after the night, you start regretting, feeling dirty and worthless . You go to sleep but when you wake up , you dress up..... Same circle. Can't
Find love coz iam always comparing my clients to the ordinally guys that I try to date. And if I try to date a Costomer I feel guilty cause there will be so many lies in between and he won't be spending or paying the way he used to moreover he will spend alot of time with me and even give me stress. Iam confused with this behavior not really prostitution but kind of prostitution. All this makes loose out on sleep ending in masturbating. I need help but which help I don't know.
|Posted by: joseph August 22, 2014, 8:57 AM|
|i think many people try to live up to society's expectation of them, or rather what they believe to be society's expectation of them. if you weren't trying to keep up with the jones' and have all the trinkets that so many of us crave then you would be on your way to finding happiness and peace......try living like the mormons i.e the simple life.... screw the big screen tv, the jewelry and all the other no essentials of life ,and you will find that you don't need that much money to survive and/or even thrive.....the best things in life are truly free.......it's we that trick ourselves into falling for the notion that we need to impress others and ourselves with materialism......but this is just my opinion and after all i've been wrong before.....|
|Posted by: ntokozo September 16, 2014, 2:25 PM|
|My father is an alcoholic and my mother was a drug addict who died of an overdose when I was a bababy.I live with my father who is always drunk and dose not take good care of me.I have to clean the house,wash my clothes and make sure that there is enough food in the house.I often get tired in the morning and I am not doing well at school.I have started bunking school and because of that my father deos not pay school fees anymore,I have decided to go and sell my body in the street.When I come home,I get frustrated and resorted to use substance abuse.|
|Posted by: gina September 20, 2014, 9:01 AM|
|so weird that we all have this weird addiction.. honestly i feel its the money....its the money getting us out of problems its the money helping us move pay bills rent and its so shall we say "easy" and abundant ive been escorting not walking the strrets ...since i was 17... i am now 30...ive seen lots of storys but no help... feel so stuck
|Posted by: gina September 20, 2014, 9:06 AM|
this was my exact situation if you dont try and remove your mind from the situation.. youy might end up in this viscious circle we ar in or worse..... please be weary of your future... you wont be with dad forever soon you can move out and be responsible for only you... so much to say but dont kno where to start... be careful love...
|Posted by: kay November 9, 2014, 7:50 AM|
I met a girl 3 months ago. We became friends and soon I find out she's prostitute I didn't tell her anything just try to stop her coz she needed a money and I wasnt in the position to help her but now I stopped her she don't know that I know about her coz she respect Me and I didn't wanna loose her too. Now whenever she got financial problems she always ask me that she going for job but whatever I can I'm helping her financially and by the way she's my gf now. She's good girl n When she was Woking she was about to cry all the time.
|Posted by: Mark November 22, 2014, 3:00 PM|
|I saw this song with video about working girls, its quite moving whilst also being entertaining and the guy gets his due in the end https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQCVTq2jApA&list=UUv-oUDy8w-VWt_KyaVJgbhg|
|Posted by: lexy December 9, 2014, 7:25 PM|
|Just got done reading all of the post from you young strong woman. All of you girls have the same connection and feel the same way about the life style you choose to live. I also am a prostitute, but have completely different situation as all of you other young ladies. I have only been doing this for about 1 year and I am 36 yrs old. And I also hate myself for doing this, but I have to do this because I have 4 kids to support, have bills to pay etc... I don't have money, my kids and I live with my parents who I also take care of. So until I can find a real job this is how i survive. I'm sorry girls but all of you are so young and there's no excuse for you to be living this life style. The first young lady mentioned she has a house and enough money, then what are you doing? You need to stop!! The second young lady mentioned she got accepted into school, then what are you doing being a prostitute? Don't you girls see how good your life can be? Living this life style no girl should be doing, but most of them do it because they have to and don't have any other choice. You girls do have a choice and have other options. You should take those options and make a better life for yourselves, before it's to late.|
|Posted by: Kazm January 19, 2015, 3:17 AM|
|You have to find something to replace that rush. Find a trade, for example if you were a hairstylist you would take calls, make money basically the same except for you are providing a service that makes you and the other person feel good in a different way. What are you passionate about? Look inside.|
|Posted by: Texas January 24, 2015, 4:21 AM|
|I am just like you ladies I have been doing it off and on. Since age 18 and I will be 31 next week. I come from a good home very wealthy. I was turned out by a pimp who had 20 girls and was very wealthy I was with him only briefly turned out many girls and pimps till the age 25 then I quit for a couple of years now I can't stop every I am a college student and a mother now but every chance I get I want to do it only for the money it's a evil spirt that no matter how hard I try to pray off it keeps coming back I grew up in church too I asked for forgiveness do many times that I feel stuck.. hopeless how do you quit? 13 years I still can't figure it out it is so hard|
|Posted by: Texas January 24, 2015, 4:28 AM|
|I know so many girls who have been mmurdered in the business around 30 that I knew personally but still I can't stop. I am really taking that I would need to be locked away from society to never do it again its hard to shak ed if when you know u can male 100-1000 in a hour going rate is 200 300 per hour if you find a good one you can get way more it's like 200 for 15 mins.. Most of the time it's so hard to think about working for minimum wage or 20 a hour even|
|Posted by: Andrea February 5, 2015, 6:27 PM|
|I'm reaching out to anyone who needs a friend to reach out to on the subject of prostitution.. I use to live that life but found my way out it wasn't easy and it was after many years.. but I will never judge those who are in the life but just know where to turn ... My name is Andrea Maria look me up on YouTube under MsAndreamaria I also know alot about depression and being lonely check out my videos... I just want you know someone who's been there cares about you loves you and is here for you.. I love you God Bless you.. even.if you not ready to get out yet but need a listening ear reach out to me and we will exchange numbers..
***Please do not post personal contact information.***
- the moderators
|Posted by: Andrea Maria February 5, 2015, 7:20 PM|
|Just to share a bit of my background.. I started in a strip club at about 17 going in for fun being caught up in how it appeared from the outside looking in.. It was the first I saw cocaine.. Not long after a girl introduced me to her pimp she showed me how to get dress and how to wear these long wigs how to talk to guys in bars and get them to pay for sex.. Well my start wasn't all elegant and Pretty it was straight from the bar to the backseat of the car.. The pimp took us on different streets in Houston like Westimer and Bissonet This was only the beginning of walking the blade...
I've met other pimps along the way I went from state to state New Orleans Bourbon street, Atlanta, Philadelphia,California , many others and even the Red Light District in Tijuana Mexico....
only by the grace of God I'm not dead or contacting some kind of deadly disease.. I have been raped, robbed by johns, beat by pimps, exposed by so called friends to family, and left stranded a few times...
I wrote a book not yet published called " The life of an American Prostitute" which I wrote while I lived the life... I met so many others both men and women who wanted out but just didn't know how...
I eexperimented with every drug from crack, cocaine,heroine,meth and alcohol of course..
I know what it feels to feel the thrill and the shame, I know what it feels like to feel dirty and alone and to feel like this is the only way to make money...
I worked bars , streets and craigslist and back page.. but now I feel a calling on my life to not be ashamed of my past but to reach out and help someone...
like I said if you need an ear and someone who cares please don't be afraid to reach out ... there is nothing that you have done that I nebet did before you...
by The grace of God I found my way out.. How about I got to play a part of a prostitute in a movie... Look it up Andrea Madison in 21 Jump Street Movie I was the black girl in the limo scene..
look God uses our shame and pain and heals us and turns it around for our good... I don't care how old are you are and if you have money or not or kids or not ,whatever reason you tell yourself you do it it's on you but if you want out one day just know that God has sent an Angel your way.. it may not happen over night God can still use you in your trouble but I promise he can deliver you also.... Even if you are an atheist and don't believe in God it's ok I only want to help You in some way I don't push religion on anybody just want you to know Someone cares...
|Posted by: Leeeeeaaaaahhhhh February 16, 2015, 8:33 PM|
|Well at least you guys have enough drive to continue for the money. I've been a working girl for over 4 years now, and to be honest, I HATE IT! The money doesn't even grab me anymore. I was always smart enough to stay clear of drugs. Try working in Granville with all the scummy imports who have no respect or consideration for you as a human being or worker. The way these middle eastern scum have sex with you is sometimes the closest thing to rape LOL lucky I'm a bit desensitized nowadays and I'm also strong enough to kick the bastards off. The worst clients are the f***ing Persian man. f***ing horrid cunts they are.|
|Posted by: aspirin addict March 11, 2015, 2:01 AM|
|The problem is you need someone to pour out your love to. Hating men causes you to not love any man. I was this way with women until I met my wife.|
|Posted by: aspirin addict March 11, 2015, 2:03 AM|
|Now I'm happy and can't get enough sex or sleep.|
|Posted by: aspirin addict March 11, 2015, 2:05 AM|
|Keep your heads up ladies. ..If you need help hit me up in nyc. I'll be watching.|
|Posted by: Kay October 22, 2015, 6:58 AM|
|Reading this was great for me I to have been in the sex industry since I was 19 years old I'm now 24 time goes by so fast when you are in this industry. I too am addicted to the money i started out stripping for a while then switched to massage parlours now escorting. It's like it's never enough money for me I always want more money so I can pay for this or buy that. I hate the men too ugh they are so f***ing annoying but I love the high I get at the end of the night when I have a stack of cash in my hands holding the money gives me a high a rush. I can't stop I don't know how it's like I'm lost without this job...? What would I do what would I be good at? I don't know what to do next... I don't know how normal ppl live off of a regular income I don't know how to do it I'm scared to do it in scared to struggle if I get a real job. I like feeling secure. Someone above posted about having low self esteem I don't think I have low self esteem looks wise but defiantly hit home when they said low self esteem of not being good at anything else... I really feel that way and didn't realize until I read this... I think I'm also addicted to the lifestyle this provides the luxury clothing cars vacations every two months being able to take time off whenever you want making your own hours I'm so addicted to that part of the lifestyle and also the money and also I guess I do have low self esteem making myself believe im not smart enough to do any other job.... This job also gives me security and I crave that. I need help!!!! How do I get out.?|
|Posted by: Kay October 22, 2015, 7:46 AM|
|My question is to all of you ladies what made you start? I know with myself in high school I knew I wanted to become a stripper because my aunt was a stripper and always had nice things I would always say as soon as I turn 19 I'll start dancing... Then that lead to massaging and that to escorting it's like a drug addiction I just got deeper into it . I've heard that when kids get molested as children sometimes they end up in the sex trade and that is the truth for my situation. Anyone else know if their is a link between childhood sexual abuse and the women who end up in the sex industry? If I had known the money and lifestyle was so addicting I would have prolly chose to go to uni straight from high school instead of straight to the strip club. Also does anyone know if mental illness has a role in this industry? This year I got diagnosed with bipolar major anxiety and minor ocd . I used to be out of control with my addiction to spending because of the bipolar now that I'm on meds I've been doing so much better thinking more clearly. Does anyone else here suffer with mental illness?|
|Posted by: Misssy2 November 24, 2015, 8:26 PM|
|All I can say :(...is take the money and go to school.
Or go to unemployment and they will pay for classes? You can't do this forever...you can't do this at 60...what will you have in your life? I KNOW the money is awesome.
But YOU are worth having a normal life..OR...find a "sugar daddy"...someone who has money that you can fall in love with!
|Posted by: Guest Anna January 2, 2016, 7:45 PM|
I found this post while googling 'addicted to escorting'
I've been doing this ten years, with a hiatus every few years to try having a 'boyfriend/normal life'. But never really went back to a normal job. Reason being I now have no CV whatsoever. The most I could probally get is a cashier job. Maybe when your in love enough with the right man it's doable. But trust me when you've been living outside of society for so long it's excruciatingly hard. You've seen places (all be it not like a tourist but like a businessman who only see's hotels in big cities but having no privacy, no real personal life because of the job and hating it all at the same time), it's so hard to fall back into a normal life.
I've now got to the point coming upto 30, losing very little family members I had to old age, and the fragmented and uncaring family I do have found out so I'm tarnished in everyone's eyes. I'm a good person inside and sometimes it hurts when I see these people I know leading 'normal lives' who wouldn't help someone stranded, a homeless person or have a charitable bone in their body judge me. Hurts so much and pushes me deeper into this hole Of what's the point I'm ruined anyway. I do have a current situation of mental illness now that's got to the point I can't even work anymore. maybe that I'm having a mini breakdown due to things that happened in personal life and coming upto 30 and how much life being part of the sex industry I have missed out on. I don't know. I would try and persuade anyone thinking to do this to NEVER dabble. For example: because of my addiction to this job and becoming alienated from a 'normal life' I've never really been on a hen do, a wedding, a christening, I will be celebrating my 30th alone, my life has been been rich in money that I took for granted and came easily and went easily. But I haven't LIVED and the only way I see I could is if I fell pregnant.
Unfortunaly no man I meet in day to day life, after a while becomes worth the sacrifice of taking up a low end job and giving up my financial freedom. I want my future child to not be controlled by me staying with an unloving or possibly abusive man. My mum was only with men for money and to be able to survive and because she was controlled by those men they didn't always want us around and we were surplus. She wasn't a good mum and I don't want that for any children of mine. Yet I long to have a child. But if I meet a man I want to be financially capable to walk away if it's not right. Until then I can't 'try' a normal life. But the work is getting at me before I'm managing to save. I earn some money, take a break to recover then work again. It's a vicious cycle. I hope I find peace soon and find happiness.
So in answer to a previous poster, yes an unsteady childhood, unreliable sources of feeling secuirity, wanting to be able to look after yourself financially plays a big part. Low self esteem or depression either become a result or were there before. In my mind. Too many people are having children and can't be good parents. I blame mine for a lot of what's brought me to this day. But it's time to fix myself because no one else with. I wish strength on any other girls or women fighting this horrid life that want to get out and wipe the slate clean.
|Posted by: ODAAT January 17, 2016, 10:39 AM|
|I am coming from the opposite end – I would be the man that visits escorts – I was looking for a lady I had seen a few times and as a result came across this thread which she contributed to - and was surprised initially to read how much difficulty she had with prostitution. I met her a few times and really liked her; she seemed a happy girl who was resolved with her work choice but seeing the post shows clearly not. I hope things have turned for the better for her – and all posters with addiction problems.
I have been seeing “escorts” for many years – most usually when drunk. Drinking was ruining my life and those around me and any relationships with girlfriends - so I stopped drinking alcohol.
Some years off the drink I find I still see escorts. I have tried to stop but constantly find myself being drawn toward the “excitement” of meeting someone for a short time and the experience that comes with it – sex is a big part but I think it has more to do with the temporary “connection” with a woman. Then afterwards – no matter how “nice a time we had” – I feel regret and remorse and awful – it can be a sort time before I look for another to make myself feel OK for a short time and the cycle continues – persuading myself that the women do it because they enjoy it – this thread has put a dent in that thought process.
I suspect one reason I do like women who sell themselves is a deep inner unspoken understanding that both prostitute and punter are troubled people – and that the cash/sex trade is some sort of brief release – like a drug? I don’t know.
My visiting escorts verges on (or is) an obsession- in the looking on websites or visiting parlours. I tell myself daily not to look online – and then end up looking anyways – it’s only a matter of days before I eventually do see one.
Today is one example – although it has lead me to this thread and certainly food for thought for me; first time to see genuine views from working girls on what it is like for you.
Thanks and hope you all find happiness somehow.
|Posted by: Fox Emerson February 9, 2016, 12:15 PM|
|Gosh, I know this post is old but i wanted to say that it can be done, you can stop. I'd love to hear from the original girl who was trying to stop. Did you? What happened?
I worked with an ex-prostitute in north London which I ended up writing a book about called Monique (on amazon). It was heart-wrenching to hear how she went from drug trafficking, drug addiction and prostitution to completely clean and no longer working in that field.
|Posted by: Penelope February 20, 2016, 5:18 AM|
|My name is Penelope. I was a sex worker. I have been clean and sober and free from the sex industry for almost 5 years now. I mostly went to AA and some therapy. It's very difficult to get out of that life. I know this post is old, but AA works by one sober drunk talking to another. I'd like to think recovery from sex work could be the same. If anyone knows of a group I'd be interested, or if you just need to talk.
Whoever you are, my prayers are with you. Be strong.
|Posted by: jaitch February 21, 2016, 5:09 PM|
|My wife/best friend past away a couple of years ago and last September I picked up an escort hitch hiking and we hung out at her place for awhile and discovered a vent, a way out of my depression. Ever since I've seen at least 15 different call girls at least once a week, some on multiple occasions and one girl about 16 times. All are under half my age. And some times I get depressed because I feel even more alone then before I started this habit. And other times I feel complete relief. Now I wonder if this will have an affect on my future "real relationships" or not. I am a caring and compassionate by nature and have a love all the girls I've seen, as a friend. It's kind of a manic thing that I'm experiencing.|
|Posted by: Jennd March 5, 2016, 11:58 AM|
|Why can't you,stop? I was,a hooker for,drug money, I liked the attention. Men and woman wanted me all the time....well they wanted my service. I would,recommend therapy to help you,understand why you are risking your flat for being a hooker. Maybe you don't want to stop. Or,you,need to hit rock bottom to make you want to. Best of luck|
|Posted by: megsbarbie May 13, 2016, 11:38 PM|
|Was there a solution or further discussion from anyone who got out of the lifestyle? I've ruined my relationship with my family and friends doing this, and I don't have a place to go otherwise. I am addicted to B and G, and my P has recently been getting physically violent. I also violated parole. I don't know what to do.|
|Posted by: Goob June 7, 2016, 4:55 PM|
|I have the answer, there is no cure just the struggle that will never go away, there was one post that cough my attention the one person indicating that she is off it for 5 years, and still here she is searching reading, and writing on the topic, this means it is still an emotion, and is still there.
been in the world o buying the service for 4 years now sometimes taking girls out for months at a time, have traveled to their countries, met their families, got invited to birthday parties been in most impressive situations.
have this to say No No No your skin does not crawl, it is a feeling that is mixed, and no it is more than money, it is the power, it is the control, and more.
i can give answers, did not write books, and will never do so, but have lived for 26 years as a married faithful dedicated life, and lost it all in one week one day coming home end having to hear from my X wife that she now love someone else.
do you want to know with no censure ship, on what this is all about, i will go deep and i will shock you to the bone, why for i will tell it as it is, not a single lady of service actually spoke of the real adrenaline, the real drive, the dirty reason why it is addictive.
how you got here does not show, or solve anyting, it is what you found, what you learned is the key to the unexpected result, i am a John as i am being called, and i have no regret of being one, no shame, i am proud of it.
|Posted by: Goob June 8, 2016, 2:09 PM|
|Let me cure you in one shot, have read stamens like your skin crawl when touched by john’s, here is the detail, you feel empowered, you feel the adrenaline of experiencing all within the lifestyle, you will have sex with men, women sex with other sex workers, you will indulge in acts that one may call new, different, or sick, you will drink laugh dance sit in fancy restaurants, the whole work, that is the power you feel, that is the power you think you have.
Saying words like crawling, and pointing the buyer in a negative form like I hate them, I hated every moment, is a judgment that not you as prostitute nor the client has right of doing.
The power you are addicted to, set money on the side there is a sense of thinking in 99 percent that they pay for my body, they pay for my company, they pay for my nice face or body, they pay because I am worth it, and this is my value, we tend to forget you are selling a lie, but the detail is that the client is lying too, being nice, and trying to humanize the act itself by giving you a mind is the lie, This is done for you to move away as much a possible from the finish quickly, and leave.
Power? Understand you are a body, there is no head on top, just a program, a client will look into your eyes, and simply does not see a mind, charisma, a person, you are just a fancy machine, like one article indicated use a plastic doll, please be informed that you are the Doll, made out of flesh, still a doll is what you are and always will be in under those working conditions, will explain it even deeper as a man I know what is the truth, yes we are dogs, yes all of us are in our own way but still dog we are, the power is in the purchase the act that follows, the power of that act, you can think what you want, but at the end you still have to complete the sex act, and sit on the D***K.
Wake up and come back to reality, next to the money you are just a hole, an entry point, it is not that you are worth the pay it is that the money for that client does not have the value needed, and you get bought with it, and after he is done you, you are gone you are out of there, every single client you are nothing more that a disposable income value.
Realize this, every time you walk to your next act, get out of this life when you feel the need, if you are emotional about it just stop, and find someone that really wants to know your mind wants to learn and like who you are, the other side of your torso.
You are a torso no more, and the power is yours to stop being one, having sex with hate is sad, how can you hate the work you do “just for Money?”
Here is the shocker I ask so every single one person “STOP LYING” you get to love the sex you love the use, your guilt makes you hold on to money.
Here is the DEAL if it was money you would work on an Oil RIG, 3 months on 1 one month off, and get paid around the same amount, “GUESS WHAT” you will not consider it for a second.
YOU love the POWER of SEX "YES SEX",that each party thinks they have, both are wrong, Prostitute, and Clients Alike.
|Posted by: midnight Coffee junky September 27, 2016, 3:01 AM|
|Could it be that you seek the gradification of doing a good job. The money is a symbol of your worth. You keep going back to it to remind your self that your good at something. That you have worth and that you where chosen for somthing.|
|Posted by: Nini October 8, 2016, 8:27 PM|
|I did not know I was addicted to sex and prostitution style life until I stopped doing it.
I did marry and begun normal housewife life that lasted 2 years and ended in divorce.( I could not become pregnant and I can never have baby.)
I have thought a lot about it and why it is I am or did become addicted to this profession.
It may be different for other women, but for myself I found following to be the reasons for this addiction:
1. I am very attracted to male genitals, I want to hold it and feel it in me.
Seeing and feeling men orgasm because of me make me feel important.
2. My self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth increase when men want me.
Men wanting me make me feel desirable, sexy and needed.
3. Men wanting me so much, they are even willing to pay me money to be with me, make me feel very good and exited. Getting money and presents is good but not reason why I was addicted to sex work. I did it even when I did not need the money. I never used drugs, only alcohol sometimes.
4. I get enjoyment from doing it with a man I never met before, someone new and fresh. I enjoy the sexual intercourse and all foreplay, if any, before it.
5. I feel powerful when men want me, I have power over them. He wants me more than some other woman. I feel perhaps also addicted to seducing men.
Things that make me want to stop selling myself:
1. Fear and risk of getting diseases from sexual activities, like AIDS, Syphilis, Gonorrhoea,
2. Fear of violence, rape and abuse.
3. Abuse and disrespect from people who knew what work I do. Especially from other women, being afraid of what they say behind my back.
4. Sometime feeling dirty about what I do and shamed about it. It’s difficult to explain,
I enjoy my work but after it sometimes I feel shamed and sad.
I think about it lot. Its sometime almost like I am two different persons in one,
good girl and naughty girl.
Naughty girl enjoy and is dependent on men wanting to make love to her, good girl is just good and don’t need men.
Is there any other women who feel same as I do?
I mean reason for addiction is same or similar or am I an abnormal person?
|Posted by: Jessi L October 24, 2016, 9:50 AM|
|I Know this is an old post buy I am going to comment anyway. I hope it might help some.
I was a prostitute for over 20 years. I was addicted to drugs for some of the time but not all of it. There were times that I could have quit and did not. I can relate to the girl who said her skin crawled and she hated them. I felt the same way. It got so bad that if a guy had a lot of money in his pocket I would fantasize about him dying so it would just be over and I wouldn't have to work any more that night. Even when I got sober I couldn't stop...I needed the money and could not get a regular job. What finally stopped me is HIV. I got sick. Even if you always use condemns you don't know when one is going to break. Or when some idiot is going to slip it off.
Just get out. Get out before it is too late. I have had so many bad things happen to me. Guns to my head knives to my throat. I have been beaten more than once resulting in broken ribs and a cracked cheek bone..I have been kicked in the face. I have been taken against my will not knowing if I would come back alive. And you know what? Sometimes I look in the mirror and say, "Hey your still cute. I bet you could make some money. Better get out there before your looks fade completely" I don't do it because I am HIV positive. I often tell people that HIV saved my life. I couldn't walk away on my own...Please get out. I know what it is doing to your souls. I was married for awhile and he use to ask me. How it was? Did I like it? Did I c**? He was a jerk. He would ask me that every time. And accuse me of having relationships with these guys. I would tell him that every time was like being raped. Every time took a little piece of my soul.
As for the guy Goop? Is that your name? You don't know what you are talking about. You have no right to say anyone is lying when they are talking about their feelings. Trust me when I say I hated every single one of you and I know it was not their fault. But if one of them had a heart attack I would have happily run their pockets and left them to die. Now that I'm older I would probably feel bad about it...but not back then.
I hope you girls find peace in your lives
|Posted by: Liz B December 26, 2016, 1:44 PM|
|I'm so sorry for all the suffering I see in this thread. I am a female sex and love addict. Sex addiction does NOT mean that I love sex and need it constantly. It is much more complicated than that. Ladies who want a safe place to discuss sex and/or love addiction, please email me. I have recently started a secret Facebook group for ladies only to support one another.
|Posted by: Pornaddict March 24, 2017, 3:28 AM|
|Hi ladies... I feel sorry to read your story,
Sorry for my English, it's not my native language.
First, i got here because I was addicted to pornography and masturbation, I ruin my life with that. I hate my self, i used to think to end my life, out from my university (my GPA 3,7), out from my social life, I become more irritable, anxiety, etc. I got most frightening damage from porn and masturbation, "erectile dysfunction".
Now is my 7 or 8 year I'm trying to overcome from my porn and masturbation addiction. Year 7th God show me website that can help me out. I have found website like yourbrainonporn, convenanteye, rebootnation, and many more. These website so inspiring for me, give me a hope to recovery from my addiction.
Almost everyday, on television, i see many report about sexual crime. So i decided to make website that talk about porn and masturbation addiction on my language. I start to learn about neuroscience through internet, write many articles about what i learn, what I experienced, tips, suggestion, and I want be friend with my reader. I hope i can save myself and many people.
The world today is so complicated. I live in Indonesia, and I'm Muslim. But I'm not listen to my religion. My religion taught me to stay away from seeing woman but i break it. Now left just regret, and I have to fight against my addiction. More I learn about neuroscience, more i believe my religion. I wonder, what people will feel about their wife, if in his life he never see other women?They will so happy, truly happy...
|Posted by: ODAAT April 9, 2017, 8:18 PM|
|Well - over a year since I came across this thread - which contains input from a girl I have paid for sex with on more than one occasion... and was surprised at how she felt...
Since my last post - for some reason I still have not stopped paying for sex - and worse the desire to pay for it seems to be getting stronger than a desire for a normal relationship... :-/
Nini above touched on what must go on for us "Johns" too... I seem to turn to paid sex at the best and worst times... when things are really good... I'll pay for sex and when they are really bad - I'll turn to paid sex...
There is definitely some inner emotional search somewhere in there that seems almost uncontrollable... and its a miserable experience overall...
Not sure what to do other than try each day to change and stop before things get worse..
Someone mentioned porn addiction too.. well.. for me the two must go hand in hand and I think the porn came first - i was really young when i first watched porn......
Its encouraging though to find this thread... its worse feeling alone with this issue... knowing we a not alone does help..
|Posted by: Sanchez July 18, 2017, 7:13 AM|
|I came across the thread as someone still not addicted, but fighting it desperately. I'm now a 37 male, been married for 10 years, and dating same woman for another 10 before that - so she was that one and only woman for me; and in many ways still is. But, kids, marriage, work, life being life - just created situations in which I wanted to try another woman (yes, for sex, but also for just the feel of it). So in total I was with 12 girls, most were respectable escort ladies, not street workers. With some I paid for an hour, some I paid for a full night. And I'm sure some of those hated it, and some of those didn't - I treated them all with utmost respect, paid them more than agreed and to every one of them I clearly stated that if I'm doing or attempting something they didn't like they should halt me immediately. With two of them that I spent the night with I went to dinner, talked and had fun, and didn't insist on sex; eventually both of them were ones to initiate sex, and both had asked to see me again...
What I'm trying to say is we are all different, no two men are alike, and it sits for no two women either. Truth is times are changing, and so is human sexuality, and society's views on all of this. We can't judge. But we can see right from wrong, and if someone feels deeply troubled by the thing they are doing, then by God they shouldn't do it anymore. If you don't have the strength or courage, find someone you can lean on, who will push and pull you out, who will hold your hand or at least someone you can text or email. The worst thing, biggest crime and greatest sin is hurting yourself.
|Posted by: Iceman July 28, 2017, 11:57 AM|
|Hi,i have been single now for 7 yrs and been single all of that time.I was with my ex wife for 18 yrs and she is the only woman I have ever loved.My job/lifestyle makes it hard to meet women in the normal way and been someone who loves sex I have been seeing prostitutes for the whole time I've been single.
I try my best to control the urge to see them.The sex is average at best,mainly poor to mediocre.I can tell that it's just about the money for them.Though I have made some of them orgasm.And no,they weren't faking,i even felt the contractions one time.
Some of the women have been quite beautiful and gorgeous but because they make it so clear it's all about the money I find it hard to perform sometimes,even when they are gorgeous.
It's obviously an expensive habit,and i'm trying to stop.I can go 6 mnths or even 12 mnths one time without seeing one but I always go back to it,even though I know the sex is usually quite poor.Most try to rip you off by cutting the time short and hurrying you up.Half an hour is not 20 minutes!
Recently my urges have been getting stronger and harder to control.This year I have seen 3 girls on 5 occasions,one of which I have seen about 3 years ago and is absolutely one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life.I am quite infatuated with her and can't stop thinking about her.Have any guys got any tips to stay strong and resist the temptation?
If these girls on here wanted to stop and hate the men so much they could easily quit.Fact is they enjoy the money to much to stop.They couldn't hack a normal job for peanuts money.If it weren't for these men they wouldn't have this job! So stop saying you hate us.Would you prefer to stack shelves for a pittance? No,thought not....
|Posted by: Sam65 November 19, 2017, 7:37 PM|
|Hey, you guys. My story is a little different but on the same lines.
In 2014 i lost my wife of 19 years we were inseparable. My wife was fun and full of energy, she was just 37 when she passed away, She had a hemorrhagic stroke and died just 10 days later. At her funeral we were blessed with over 475 friends and family some were life long friends, a bunch of them suggested that we move back to where i grew up so that they could help me with my 14 year old daughter. No one ever did!!! about 7 months passed with no friends and very little family support i started getting lonely, not for sex, but companionship. Every suggestion that i would make to everyone seemed to get shot down. Bowling bars pool football games you name it I tried. Then one evening i was feeling like no one in the world cared so I called this working girl, lets call her Rebecca. I made my appointment and agreed on the price and at that time i called got the address and went to see her. She was beautiful and sweet, she invited me in and offered me something to drink, she lived in a 2 story apartment. we sat in the living room for about 20 minutes and she grabbed me by the hand and said come on, i said i really don't want that. Rebecca, looked at me in dismay, and i said honey you are gorgeous but i really just want to talk. I ask if I could lay my head on her lap and read a few things that i had written, she said sure. I started reading the poems that i had written my wife after she had passed, about half way through the first one i was crying uncontrollably, but i kept feeling something hit my cheek that wasn't mine, as i looked up Rebecca was sobbing uncontrollably. When i finished the first poem we sat and talked my head still in her lap, her rubbing her fingers through my hair for comfort. I ended up staying almost 3 hours with her that night. I was able to return to work the next day, remember i had already missed over 6 months. The next day at work was really hard i picked up the phone and called her back I said Rebecca, i really need to see you went over repeated the same and done this for 33 days straight including weekends. I started with 180 and was down to 150 per visit. after these 33 days I wanted her sexually, made my appointment and went to see her ask if i could try to make love to her, she agreed and we did, first time in 19 years I wore a condom and what happened? it busted. I continued to see her if not every day i was seeing her 3 and 4 times a week. after another month went by she started asking me to help with her bills, I did, but didn't see a reduction in the visit charge, then she started asking me to bring her some tums when i came, i did after about the 3rd time of bringing the tums I told her hun you're pregnant, no way no way I just had my period.
Every time i would leave her apartment i would notice this greasy black haired sitting in a car, I had ask Rebecca time and time again if she was involved with anyone, same answer always. No. I would say ok, Then one evening at the appointment I ask which car is yours she said the white Chevy. I said well who is the guy that sits in it every time i am over here, she said oh black hair, i said yes she said that my roommate he stays in the spare bedroom. Anyway here it is 3 !/@ years later I don't see her much maybe 2 times a month we are best friends. she saved me from killing myself the second month i was seeing her, i had no one else to call after i had cut my wrist 6 times, called a friend and was told he was busy would call back soon 15 minutes went by no call so I called Rebecca, she stayed on the phone with me for almost 3 hours, talked me into going home and being with my daughter. We still play and have fun but we enjoy shopping together going to theme parks Company parties, she calls me to vent about everything especially the black haired boy that doesn't work and holds his hand out everyday for 75 to 100 for heroin. She then ask me telling me how much she loves me, but I know it is him she loves if not she would have had him out. I am not her sugar daddy, she was on pain pills really bad yesterday marked 90 days clean, trouble is greasy black haired boy still lives in the same house and does 100 dollars a day. I am so afraid to lose her I will eat peanut butter sandwiches and work a separate job to give her money even without seeing her, I have given her $650 in the last 9 days. She says she loves me and wants him gone that she gets sick every time a man touches her. I give and I give but God forbid if i say god hun it doesn't grow on trees, she will say and you want to be with me is that all i'm worth to you... Just spent over 400 on Christmas presents for her for this 2017 Christmas, she gave me hell over not giving her money, little sarcastic remarks like you always get cheap when you think you are low on money, I had just given her $125 yesterday and told her until my next check comes in I;m low, she always says its not like you have a few hundred in the bank, you have a few thousand. I tell her you sure know what i make and what i have but have no clue to what i pay out every month. I have even told her to move to the city where my job has me that she could live rent free for 14 months and continue to do appointments, and give me $75 a day like she does him and I would hand her back over $25000 at the end of the year, because I don't want her money, just her love.
|Posted by: Sam65 November 19, 2017, 7:40 PM|
|Just so you will know her child was taken at birth was addicted to opiates, news after seeing pics of the child, there is no way it is the black haired greasy boys but he sure looks an awful lot like me...going to request a DNA test from the courts.|
|Posted by: Paul December 9, 2017, 1:15 PM|
|Sex is not only a physical act but also spiritual. God intended it to bind husband and wife together in marriage. So to break away from prostitution you need to do so both physically and spiritually. Spiritually by prayers,worship and fasting. Otherwise regardless of your physical effort, you may not be able to break off. Physically you must avoid it, be determined, look for alternative things to engage your time. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Philippians 4:13. You will overcome in Jesus name!|
|Posted by: sally4 December 20, 2017, 5:58 PM|
|Gosh I remember you posting ..along time ago and thinking of you and your dog boo. Just kidding the name of your dog I don't no..anyhow how are you? thinking of you gal.|
|Posted by: brad February 10, 2018, 11:09 AM|
|Hi well i am trying this from my point of view as a man who thinks he is addicted,I have a loving relationship with my wife but do visit a girl in a escourt club that i have got close to, I basically want to please her to make her happy and this has resulted in meeting outside for dinner dates etc obviously at first for a cost, but now without cost and last time i just met her for 7 hours without going to bed on purpose to see if I could do it. I would hate to think that she felt as bad as you do surely not everyone feels that way? She does want to give up as she has been doing this for 7 years but does not know what she could do for the money she gets, she said once in its difficult to get out. I am getting really close to her but its difficult for me handling her job in my mind knowing the men she is with nearly everyday. Suggestions please.|
|Posted by: odaat October 23, 2018, 9:00 PM|
This is an old thread that i posted to first time 2.5 years ago... and despite wanting to stop seeing escorts - I seem only to be getting deeper into it, so I am afraid I dont have any advice as I cant stop either it seems.
I have been in situations in the past where there have been consequences.. and still I find I turn back to seeing escorts and now on a regular basis with the same ones... getting feelings (emotions) involved isnt the smartest thing - yet I cant see to stop. I have no logical reason to see escorts either as I am in a normal relationship already.
No doubt once this current phase of remorse passes I'll be at it again..
|Posted by: lucylu1700 November 15, 2018, 7:06 PM|
|i understand how you feel im not sure if you still get on this website but i do the same exact thing are you still in the lifestyle i want to quit so bad but im addicted to the money ive been soing this since i was 13 years old and now i am 25 and i am beyond sick of it if you are still around contact me back please ! im interested in your story i really am my name is breezy
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|Posted by: Bobshere January 22, 2019, 11:14 AM|
|I get help from going to twelve step meetings of Sex Addicts Anonymous. You can do a web search to find out more about it and find out if there are any meetings in your country or area.
I get help from this and I am definitely addicted.
Sex Addicts Anonymous
SAA is fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so they may overcome their sexual addiction and help others recover from addictive sexual behavior
“At our meetings, we read SAA literature and share our experience, strength, and hope with each other, focusing on how the SAA program of recovery works in our lives.”
Is SAA for You?
Our primary purpose is to stop our addictive sexual behavior and to help others recover from sexual addiction. Recovery was possible for most of us only when we accepted the fact that we were powerless over our addictive sexual behavior and that we were incapable of changing without help from outside ourselves. Many of us came to this realization when we started attending SAA meetings. In that setting we heard stories similar to ours and realized that recovery from our malady was possible. We learned through the SAA Fellowship that we were not hopelessly defective.
Attending Meetings in SAA
We find a new way of living through the SAA program, and carry our message to others seeking recovery. In meetings, we listened as men and women shared their experience, strength, and hope with each other to find freedom from addictive sexual behavior and help each other recover from sex addiction. SAA meetings offer an accepting, non-threatening environment where we can share our common struggles and learn how to apply the principles of the Twelve Steps to our everyday lives.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior. There are no fees or dues.
We practice strict anonymity and confidentiality, so that our meetings are a safe place for all of us. Whom we meet or what is said in a meeting is considered as confidential. Our fellowship is open to women and men, regardless of age, race, religion, ethnic background, marital status, or occupation. We welcome members of any sexual identity or orientation, whether they are gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, or transgender. Find a meeting here.
Working the Twelve Steps of Recovery
We discovered that, when we began applying the Twelve Steps conscientiously in our lives, we could abstain both from obsessive mental preoccupation with sex and compulsive sexual behavior. We found faith and courage to change our way of thinking and acting. We began accepting daily problems as stepping stones to spiritual growth. As we continued working the Twelve Step Program, we experienced the return of personal integrity and found a new sense of purpose in our lives. We discovered the joy of freedom from addiction.
|Posted by: SoberInMI July 17, 2019, 10:58 PM|
Way too many posts to read here!
The only addiction I see in your original posting is the addiction that your prostitution is supporting, if any. If you were a sex addict no money would be involved. Have you become emotionally damaged as a result of the activities you list, very likely.
No compulsion, no addiction. Self-destructive behavior is not limited to addictive behavior.
Maybe you are addicted to low self-esteem? I think you are yanking our chain for the attention!