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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > I'm Back!


Posted by: mtnmom September 10, 2019, 1:19 PM
Well, I'm back but HOPEFULLY good things are happening! Hubby & I left on our 3 months travels, but Meth addict son continued his downward tailspin. Between the end of April & mid June he was arrested 4 times for continued harassment of an ex GF who got a restraining order to get him out of her house. My husband would not stop enabling his bad behavior by paying impound fees, late payments etc. The amount we have wasted is so embarrassing to me I will not even talk about it.

FINALLY son was arrested a 4th time, this time was charged with attempted stalking (meaning if he contacts her even one more time they will charge him with felony stalking & he will serve PRISON time).

He was released, went back to sober living again & whined & cried about no money, no gas, no food..... blah, blah, blah.... But was finally accepted into an electricians program. (I know this is true because he sent a pic of his first checks). Now, we were STILL on our trip to Canada & Alaska & frequently had to connectivity, but that did not stop him from calling, texting & putting us in uncomfortable situations.

He's been working for a few weeks, he says he is happy. He is out of the area where the GF lives. All my fingers & toes are crossed that he continues on this path.... unfortunately I have lost all trust in him & can't stand to talk to him at all. My hubby on the other hand knows our son is a liar & addict, but somehow cannot let him suffer consequences. But son isn't calling all the time now

Posted by: NyToFlorida September 10, 2019, 6:07 PM
Nice to see you back! Now that your son is 'on his feet' keep your boundaries in check. Don't let the guard down! Our son will be getting out of jail this week, going to a program that I hope transitions quickly to job and housing. We too have to keep up the boundaries. We cant be weak, he has to do this himself to become independent. yes, fingers crossed. answer phone less.

Posted by: Sallyanna September 10, 2019, 7:12 PM
Welcome back mtnmom we missed you!!! Sounds like you had a great trip!

Posted by: sad eyes September 11, 2019, 7:26 AM
Enjoy your well deserved trip, hope your son continues to make better choices

Posted by: Parenting2 September 11, 2019, 8:08 AM
Welcome back! Yes, they might not solve everything, but boundaries make life much easier to live.

In my mind, I continue to push responsibility back to my son. I try to treat him like a person on the street because he an adult now.Once I felt 100% certain no money was going to be given. He seemed to realize things were different and stopped begging much earlier. Of course, the guilt darts/manipulation kept coming. SO glad i don't buy into that bull anymore. When this all started, I was so soft and worried about him. He used that against me so many times, I am harder now. And, that is a good thing for me and for him.

Boundaries! We matter and deserve respect.

Posted by: mtnmom September 11, 2019, 4:51 PM
Thanks ladies!! NY2FL - GOOD LUCK!!!! Fingers & toes crossed for your son & your family

Posted by: #momfail September 12, 2019, 7:29 PM
Welcome back Mtnmom!

What did you like best about your holidays (aside from letting your son figure things out on his own)? I dream of the day when dh and I can leave the house for three months at a time. Sounds like you headed up my way, but when we ever holiday, we will head south of the 49th! Bring on the heat!

I hope your son is getting along well.

Posted by: NyToFlorida September 12, 2019, 9:57 PM
I too dream of the days when husband and I can wake up and go to the beach everyday. we can have one car and one phone. and hope that no one calls us! LOL

Posted by: mtnmom September 14, 2019, 5:32 PM
Hi Momfail! What I liked best was NOT having cell service or internet for DAYS!!! For the 1st month, he was in jail & he was still able to call me (OH lordy those ROAMING FEES!!!) But it was nice NOT to hear about politics, shootings, weather & my own family troubles!

We went thru Montana, Alberta, BC, Yukon & Alaska. I didn't care much for Alaska, I think too many people built things up to me so I had unrealistic expectations. But there were also several large wildfires & extreme heat - so July was kind of miserable. I really didn't like Denali Nat. Park AT ALL. I live near Yellowstone & think my area is even more beautiful than I already thought!

NY2FL - HOPEFULLY.... soon for you!!!!

Posted by: hurtingmom November 19, 2019, 7:48 AM
I know I’m late to the party. But... welcome back Mtnmom.

I’m crossing my fingers and toes, lighting incense and saying prayers for each of your children. And, I’m sending BIG BIG hugs to each of you.

Lynn