Daily Checkin In
Posted: December 15, 2011, 6:42 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



When I first came to this board, the lack of posts in the meth heading was an issue just as it appears to be now. There were only a few visiting the site from time to time. The suggestion of "daily posts" came up. There became a small core group of us who went with it. A few of us were actively using, some had months of clean time, and a few wives/family/friends of active addicts.

The main idea was to just check in each and every day,...if depressed and mad at the world, write about it,.....if struggling with wanting to use, having mad cravings,...write about it,..even if ya used,...write about it, was it a good or bad experience? had a need to vent about anything whether related to addiction or not? write !! Kinda like a simple morning "coffee group" all friends, no judgements,...

While writing about this I want to give out props to my good friend that I have such respect, admiration and joy for. She posted on several of the topic headings,...benzo's, heroin, pain pills,....she did it all!! She had a lot of serious life issues, the biggest one being unable to conceive. For her, it was a victory to simply slow down her use. It really looked like she'd use 'till the day she died. Out of the blue, she said she was pregnant, a blessing in itself, it also blessed her with the incentive to get free of all substances. She is now the mother of an incredibly cute baby girl,....not to mention Mom has never been more beautiful than now (which is saying a lot, she was a model before addictions got her) you are the best L!!

So, if any of y'all are interested in givin it a go,.....we can just use this one topic title to check in as often as possible, Drew! Jodie! being meth free is not a requirement, open honesty is the only rule. ya can't fight an addiction if you hide it.

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It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 15, 2011, 7:11 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



hey!! OK I'll be the first to do a daily babble.

Something I took on as a way to rewire my brain was to finally stop "thinking" about doing some volunteer work for the holidays,...and actually DO IT.

Something many people are guilty of ( I think meth users do this a lot more than others ) is to have the best of intentions, yet never follow thru. The reality is that the "thinking" about it takes more effort than doing! Especially when you realize you made another persons day or holidays!

I have very strong feelings towards support for our service men and women. Especially the Marine Corp. Helpin out with their Toys for Tots program was a natural fit. I dont think anyone realizes the amount of work and effort it takes to pull that one program off. In this county alone they help from 1700 to over 2000 families with gifts for their children. Sure there are those who milk it,...the folks runnin the program do their best to weed out those who abuse the program,.......but let me tell you,...when it is obvious a family is hurting financially,...and being an addict myself,....I think I can judge pretty fairly who is in financial problems due to addiction,....and who is just falling thru the cracks of life. When you place bags of toys in a POS car, mom and or dad as well as kids wearing second hand clothes,...the smile on the kids faces ( doesnt hurt that I kinda look like Santa lol ) along with the smiles and tears of joy and gratitude from the parents is a feeling no drug can provide.

When struggling with recovery, always remember that there are those who are worse off than you,....there always is!! There is no better time to stop using than right now! You will battle depression,...I found the best way to beat depression is to forget about self and DO for others!! and there's no better time for that than during the holiday season.

thats my thought for the day,.....Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and I wish you all a safe, healthy and happy New Year!

--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 15, 2011, 8:05 PM


Posts: 8675
Joined: April 24, 2007



Hi Just, I love your new avatar =)

I just wrote one long post on another thread and I am going to rest...still not 100%. but I wanted to pop by and say hello and I'm so glad you're here...you are needed and I hope those two keep coming round.

You rock and I think you are wonderful.

Love ~ M&M

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You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

user posted image
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Posted: December 17, 2011, 1:29 AM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



"I can't do it" never yet accomplished anything; "I will try" has performed wonders. - George P. Burnham

Grrrr, I just lost another long winded writing,...must be a sign lol



--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 17, 2011, 3:49 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



For today thought I'd share a poem from another site titled "the meth monster"

~*~

My first name is Crystal,

my last name is Meth,

I'm your tour guide through hell,

and your pain till your death.

I'm a rock in a pipe,

I'm a line on a mirror,

melt me down in a spoon,

for the needle so clear.



I'll creep through your lungs,

I'll ski up your nose,

I'll rush to your veins,

as fast as it goes.

Off to your brain,

to work on your mind,

you've never felt better,

I'm one of a kind.



However you choose,

to let me inside,

little by little,

you'll give up your pride.

You'll be doing things,

you never dreamed you would do,

now that I got a grip on you.



You'll be diving in dumpsters,

in the night all alone,

digging through trash,

for things to bring home.

you'll start cutting back,

on the good things you buy,

I'll take all your cash,

just keeping you high.



I will rot your teeth,

from the inside out,

I am The Meth Monster,

once I get in your mouth.

I am not a game,

but I love hide and seek,

sometimes I"ll hide out,

when you want to tweak.



It will be amusing to watch,

you search high and low,

chasing after me,

wherever I go.



I will possess your body,

and your soul will be mine,

your own willpower,

will get weaker each time.

When you dance with the devil,

you are so very bold,

It is hard to buy back your soul,

once it's sold...

~*~



~Written By~Debbera Neilson~

June, 24, 2007




--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 18, 2011, 1:39 PM


Posts: 8675
Joined: April 24, 2007



Good to see you here every day, Just...don't give up, people read even when they don't post...your words provide hope to those who may not have any at the moment.

Peace ~ M&M

--------------------
You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.

user posted image
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Posted: December 18, 2011, 4:21 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

We beat ourselves up over our addiction, the things we've done and not done. Even living in the moment is difficult when all our thoughts and desires are for just one more hit of meth. The future is bleak with the feelings of the moment. That's the terrible lie meth causes us to believe.

A simple change in perspective works miracles. Instead of dwelling on negatives,...dwell on the positive,....you've gone minutes, hours, days or whatever without using,....if you could get to this point, go a little further. Dwell on the fact you've accomplished more than you have before and take great pride in it. If or when you slip,....don't beat yourself up, instead figure out the whats and why's of that slip. As you learn your triggers, you can avoid them by being aware. Many of us in recovery view our recovery as "baby steps" it doesnt matter how many times you fall, only that you keep getting back up.

Thanks MnM, good to see you back and feelin better ;)

--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 19, 2011, 7:40 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



This losing everything written while posting is getting old,....I'll write again when I've lost my frustration grrrrrrrrr.

--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 20, 2011, 1:42 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



"I can't do it" never yet accomplished anything; "I will try" has performed wonders. - George P. Burnham

This time of year is probably the toughest time to quit. The rush and hustle required by the holidays is a fit to meth use. No time to feel down, or depressed, so much to do with such little time. I'll sleep when it's over is most likely what a majority of us (meth addicts) think.

The problem is that there "always" is something on our plate that makes "quitting" not a feasible option at the moment. Meth has taught us that it can make any situation better, it doesn't really, it only makes it seem that way.

Too much to do,.....the kids require so much of my time and effort,....Paying bills, housework, .....the list can feel overwhelming of things we need to do each day. Sleep is just too unproductive. Hell,..our society has gotten so hectic, it feels like those days of leisure and enjoying lifes simple pleasures are gone. WRONG, freakin meth has had our minds moving at such warp speeds, we've lost touch with the realities of life.

Time and life are unstoppable, to me, meth made me feel like I could at least keep up. Like a cat chasing it's tail,...a whole lot goin on without a thing being accomplished.

I have a lifetime of "wanting" to quit. There are two very difficult parts in meth recovery. The first is letting go of meth. "I can't do it" will run thru your mind like crazy. "Now isnt the time" is another,.....WHEN WILL IT BE THE RIGHT TIME? NEVER.

Jodi, Drew, anyone reading this wanting to quit,....There's nothing better than marking a special occassion with a special act. I used my 50th b-day to kickstart my recovery. Why not use this Christmas, Holiday season,...the New Year as your marker!! So what if you use? if you weren't an addict you wouldnt be here anyway,....enjoy the season, just try not to get carried away,....then come January 1st 2012, commit to your recovery. Throw caution to the wind, give your addiction up and give yourself to the world. You'll always be able to look back and KNOW that this was your turning point.



--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 20, 2011, 2:42 PM


Posts: 14
Joined: October 6, 2011



I visit this site everyday to remind myself not to use,. its been working so far my meth use has decreased again and i can manage not to use everyday,.im statring to see new light to my life, my husband is happier now coz im home and spend most of my time with them,.gotta be honest but today im a little disappointed of myself coz after a couple of days of not using when the withrawal stage kicks in that i couldnt get up from bed RELAPSE here we go again...i will follow your advice @ justonemore i will give myself a marker and hopefully with moral support,determination will power and Gods mercy i will get passed this addiction i can feel the end of meth is coming very near..Honestly i was about to use now but for some reason i checked this site and read daily checkin id rather sleep instead of taking more of that monster..thanks justonemore your posts are really of great help..God Bless you and to all the addicts who are struggling to quit their addiction... let quitting for a better life be our gift to ourselves and our loved ones..
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Posted: December 21, 2011, 12:32 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



I don't know how you feel about that goin to bed instead of using. I'm gonna guess at best it's just a "blah" feelin. The drop in endorphins makes everything pretty bleak. Getting the brain's chemistry back to a healthy, natural process takes time. If you had gotten all busted up in a serious accident, your body would need time to heal, physical therapy to teach the muscles and joints to work right again. Meth is hell on the mind,....but the more I research, the more I'm blown away by the resilience and ability of our brains and bodies to recover.

When I reached my 365th day meth free I was feeling pretty good for the most part. Periods of good with the occassional mad cravings which for some reason seemed to come in 30, 60 and/or 90 day cycles. As circumstances had it, I was back in my old area on my 51st b-day, the cravings hit,....."I been good, what can a little hurt?" poof! picked up an 8-ball. ( sadly, an 8=ball to me was "a little") The way it hit me, with the past year of recovery fresh in my mind was an eye-opener! The things that mistake taught me and the fact I chose to learn from them cemented my resolve to remain clean. I worry that as time goes by the memory of recovery will fade, complacency will fill it's place and "what can it hurt?" willl happen again.

That's why I still visit the boards, Thank God for the internet, where else could you totally open up with all your demons in total anonymity? ( well, an anonomous as you choose to be ) and where else could you reach out for help and be helped from people all over the world? Realizing there are people in the exact same situation helps so much,...when ya discover it's the same world over,...ya can't help but realize this happens everywhere.

ooops, there I go gettin sidetracked again lol,

((((((((Jodi)))))))), I can't explain how glad I was to read your post. The fact you are still here even if it's just readin, the fact you havn't given up. 2 days not using is still 2 days,....cutting way back on the amount is an accomplishment. And even if you think that going to sleep instaed of using was nothing,.....Thats a huge victory. When you learn to enjoy and have pride in making the right choices, the easier quitting becomes.

--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Zed h
Posted: December 21, 2011, 4:15 PM







I have a addiction to this dirty glass pipe an It never bothered me til the other day wen I completed a pre apprenticeship in carpentry an passed every subject full marks I had never done that i was a high school drop out an my dad mum Nan's girlfriend were all so proud an that was a better feeling then any drug ,but i fell in an I had a few pipes the other nite now I couldnt sleep probly spent most me money an feel like s*** today i want this problem gone but it's hard to say no cos the time it's fun can anyone give me some ideas cheers zed
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Posted: December 22, 2011, 1:24 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



Ah Zed, I hear ya, "the good times" is an issue I struggled with and probably always will. The only real big issues I had with meth (at least the only ones I was aware of) was what it took to stay supplied ( finances, available supply, time, and risk )

If I'm gettin you right, like you, I felt like sh*t after a run,...some wrenching in the garage, household chores, yard work, playin with the kids, playing video games, downing beers and drinks with friends,.....all things most all people do without a problem when done normally. Meth fueled 24/7 is another matter,...Eventually the body has had enough and regardless of meth,....crashing was inevitable.

Feeling human again ALWAYS took more meth,...starts out as just a little maybe to get a life goin,...it'd feel good, then more was even better,....the cycle is on. Our minds/brains are "trained" , "wired" or "programmed" to know that meth makes it all better. Just as we learn EVERYTHING from birth on,...to an extreme.

Reading reports from various studies, they say the highest levels of dopamine and other "pleasure" neuro-transmitters occurs during mind-blowing sex. If memory serves me right, to a person just high on meth, those levels are up to one thousand times higher.

Sounds like a reason to use meth to a lot of folks, the problem is, you play, you PAY. Pretty much anything you use far beyond it's capacity will take a sh*t, burn out, stop working, the brain is no different. In the beginning, a quarter gram did me good for a weekend + wired out of my socks,....years later.......it took a whole gram a day just to feel normal. The tolerance to amphetamines of all types goes up rapidly.

One thing EVERY meth addict in recovery has said to those seeking help ,.."It will never be easier to quit than now,...the longer you continue using, the more difficult it becomes"

--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 22, 2011, 2:18 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



Thinking about you Jodi, hoping you're well. As good as it was to just go to bed instead of using,...try not to fall into the habit of just laying around and/or sleeping. It does nothing to help rewire your brain and only reinforces depression and the need to use.

Just a simple 30 minute walk each day helps,...if there's a nice park nearby, even better. Gettin away from the hustle of city life, a place to relax and get back to nature. Find and get to know your inner-child again. Remember how just the simplest things gave you such a thrill as a child? Let your inhibitions down and get that back.

When talking about the power of positive thinking, a lot of people don't get it. You know how some music will make you feel sad? other music makes you happy or feel love? Some songs give an uplifting insprational feeling?? Same thing.

When quitting I got more into music than I've been in my life. Playin on the 'puter lookin up new bands/musicians,....I found a lot of great music that really affected me. I have to admit (tough for a man to do lol) to breaking down completely often, uncontrollable tears while listening to some songs. Became a huge fan of the blues,...while country is a lot about heartbreak,...with blues, I found a lot about overcoming struggle and addiction. Beth Hart's "learning to Live" , "Monkey Back" became my theme songs.

When going without using,...when a song stirs your soul, when it inspires you, makes you feel and want love,.....when it makes you cry uncontrollably, and even if it makes you curl up in a ball on the floor, flooded with emotions,.....CONGRATULATIONS! you are feeling again, real feelings,....your mind is in the process of rewiring/reprogramming.

It feels like you're losin it, the craving to use will be HUGE why? because meth always made things better before.......you think. Do I still get cravings? the mad "have to have some" cravings faded somewhere between 2 and 3 years clean. I won't lie though, I admit to having an occassional "want" too many "goodtimes" in my history to lose that want. That's why I'm dedicated to this site,...If I lose sight of how difficult quitting was, or the grip meth had on me, I fear that want will become a reality.

To meth addicts,...meth does "seem" to take on a life of its own. A Demon, a Beast, a monster,....many even refer to it as the devil. It only has the power you ALLOW it to have. No one or no thing "forces" you to use,...your arm or leg wasnt broken, you aren't being tied down and meth being forced into your system. Using is a CHOICE, just as NOT using is a choice.

Not only does not using get easier, life, love, relationships, and yes, even sex get better, much better than they ever were using. Something every recovered meth addict has said.

--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 23, 2011, 3:02 PM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



Good mornin all, I hope you are all doin well. I was just thinking I should have titled this thread " The Daily Meeting" At another site a friend decided to try going to AA meetings to help with her drinking, she said she "didn't get it". A lot of people don't get it whether an AA, NA or any 12 step program. Given the chance, the right group ( one you feel comfortable at, a welcome newcomer and new member of a type of family) helps immensly. Like people, with like issues, on like paths, all with the same goal in mind,...to stop using, and to live life on it's own terms. Better than hangin out with partiers eh?

Usually at a meeting the person "holding the chair" the one who runs the meeting will pick a step and/or issue to discuss amongst everyone elses input. I guess that's what I'm doin here now in trying to post each day when no one else is. I grab and go with whatever pops into my head as my day goes on.

With it being the Holidays, watching the news on TV and hearing the controversy again over "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hannakuh", "Happy Kwanza" and all religions beliefs as well as Atheists all being unaccepting of each others personal beliefs. The "higher Power" aspect of the programs is on my mind.

If you don't know,....these are the 12 steps of NA;
1.
We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

2.
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.
We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4.
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5.
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6.
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7.
We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8.
We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9.
We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10.
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11.
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12.
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

3,5,6,7 and 11 speak of God. Not a problem if you believe in God. step 2 simply says a "power" a "higher power" if you will. A great many addicts get turned off to the 12 steps because of their beliefs about God and religion. Those with belief seem to get more out of meetings I think because they are already in touch with their God.

To those without Faith,...."Higher Power" does not have to mean God, Christ, the traditional definition. Even an Atheist has to admit that our world as well as universe is filled with amazing wonders and powers. The more science takes the mystery out of things, the more magnificent the natural universe is. There is no denying that there are powers and forces at work for all time. How can you not believe that you as a person, grown from one cell, are not a miracle in itself?? If you don't believe in God,....use the term "Higher Power" That term can be defined by the miracle that is you. The fact that powers we are still trying to learn how they work, have EVERYTHING to do with EVERYTHING from past till future.

There is without a doubt a greater power over us all,...be it God, or just science/nature, find your belief, find your faith. Faith being a simple belief in something nothing more than a hope. Peoples prayers DO get answered,...God? positive thinking? coincidence? Does it really matter? if it works, it works! Personally, I don't think there is any one correct religion, I think they ALL are correct, for those who follow each one. it isn't right to say anothers is wrong. Saying Merry Christmas is not pushing ones religion onto another, it's an expression of goodwill and cheer to others based in personal beliefs. Before the birth of Christ, this same time of year was a celebratory time,...the Yule season.

Life is complicated enough, this time of year makes it so soooo hard for addicts to quit using. Using does pop thru my mind at times, That intense super-hyper-focused energy meth gave , gave me a lot of good memories. Getting caught up in the holiday frenzy is something I know I can not do. Staying meth free, being able to live and see another x-mas is the greatest gift I could ask for. Given by God, my own doing, or the Angels that guard over me, it's a blessing.

A blessing I want all of you to have. Jodi, Drew, and so many others I've chatted with. I want you all to know I am so very grateful . You all help me to stay on this path, Thank you all

Have a wonderful and blessed Yule season, may you all find your inner-strength, Faith that all things are possible and accomplish everything you set out to do. Alone, accomplishments are difficult, together, there is nothing that can't be accomplished.



--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 23, 2011, 10:59 PM


Posts: 96
Joined: September 13, 2011



I'm reading.......thanks for this just.....I would flick to this page wondering y Meth was such an unused board.

Maybe that's part of the drug. I've tried it. But never been attracted to a upper. I'm a ex partner of a speed/Meth addict. So the insight is useful as there are kids involved.
Someday's I wish he would find this site.
So I wanted to let u know I'm reading.

Thanks
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Posted: December 25, 2011, 12:50 AM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



Thank you arrowtie,....In learning to be as functioning an addict as I could be,...all those years of self-evaluation seem to have a lasting effect. I overthink far too much. All my family is out on the west coast. Christmas is good here usually,....this year for some reason , actually last night,...depression rolled over me like a truck.

I am over-analyzing the what and why's to the max. I know from my relapses this is a trigger. There are a lot of thoughts/feelings I wish would go away. Meth always "SEEMED" to make things better. As long as I'm ahead and faster than my troubles,...life was all good. Those things we think we're gettin past are like a snowballl rollin down a mountain, gathering size and strength,....sooner or later it'll catch up and hit ya like an avalanch.

For now, I have to have faith that this is just temporary. Everyone has problems at some time or another,...In the real world, people deal with those problems as they come along. I set out on this thread wanting to make at least one post a day,....I'm ok, just feelin down to the point I don't feel like talking, isolating ones self is another common trait amongst us methheads.

think I'll head off to bed, tomorrow is another day,.. Merry Christmas everyone.

haha, that seemed wierd to say after such a downer post,....

--------------------
It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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peache
Posted: December 25, 2011, 7:49 PM







heyoh, merry christmas to you too, justonemore, thanks for all the truth, helps sooo much, more than your ever know;
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Posted: December 26, 2011, 2:31 AM


Posts: 1101
Joined: August 27, 2004



Thank you Peache, ooops, I missed my post for today the 25th. It is a better day, late , I'm tired and headin off to bed, want to wish everyone another Merry Christmas, a new year is coming up next weekend, I wish you all a safe and great New Year.

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It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you aren't

Never go faster than your Angels can fly

Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you havn't fallen asleep yet.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. - Buddha

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. - Buddha

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Posted: December 26, 2011, 5:56 PM


Posts: 2
Joined: December 26, 2011



I alos read it...

thanx.

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