New To This
Posted: August 25, 2016, 9:12 AM

Posts: 2
Joined: August 25, 2016

so, i am new to this whole process. I have a 19 year old son who has been using drugs, and since there was no physical addiction, I did not view him as a drug addict. I, unfortunately, was wrong. He has been using marijuana and pills for some time now. He was recently arrested and spend over a month in jail. My husband was very firm about not bailing him out until he was in some sort of drug program. We have hin court ordered to a drug program through the courts which involves random drug tests, weekly meetings and it seems to have pretty good supervision. He has been attending the meetings as dictated and shows up for all of his drug tests, and to my knowledge, they have been clean.

My concerns are that I find myself constantly worrying about him doing something stupid. He went out with another kid from the program last night, and spent the night at his house. So my mind automatically goes to him doing something wrong and falling off the wagon. I would imagine if he messes this program up, they will give him consequences, which could involve going back to jail. He knows this. I don't know how to let go. My husband has a much better attitude and says he will have the consequences of his actions. I keep trying to fix it, or control him enough so he can't make a mistake. As everyone know, I guess I cant' control him. But it's very hard. I just don't know what I am suppose to do. I am worrying all the time.

any advise would be helpful.
Posted: August 25, 2016, 8:04 PM

Posts: 304
Joined: August 3, 2016

You need to get help for your self. AlaNon meetings are awesome. I just went to my 2nd one and it feels a good to know you are not alone.
Good Luck
Posted: August 25, 2016, 10:24 PM

Posts: 1601
Joined: June 27, 2016

You should go to NarAnon. He is going to meetings you and your husband should go to meetings. That way you are all learning the same things at the same time. That your son needs to be responsible for himself and you need to let him. and you need to be responsible for yourself. Not for his decisions.

Posted: August 26, 2016, 3:16 AM

Posts: 635
Joined: April 4, 2016

I know it is hard to let go bc he's only 19. My daughter just turned 21. So I can only imagine the conversations you have with yourself. I had them with myself. It's your mommy instincts kicking in. But for your own sake, you must let him experience the consequences of his addiction. Have you read the post "things that don't help?" something for yourself. Go to a meeting. I've been to 2 already and felt immediately at home.



I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun.

I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair.

But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more.

In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved
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