Posted: May 4, 2019, 9:46 AM
One of the ways to avoid enabling is setting boundaries and ground rules on the seemingly harmless stuff.
One of the things I noticed over the years is the alkie frequently goes home to do his laundry. 6 month to one year stretches with regularity. Not just a few things but upto 5 loads during a visit. Sounds harmless but those 5 loads are not only wear & tear and utilities but what should be his own machine or laundromat money is now available for alcohol or drugs. He's done wash with a drink in hand. Just as important this shows a lack of self sufficiency. And respect for parents because to me it's abusing a privilege along with their stuff. A 1/2 century old man traveling to parents to do laundry with regularity? To top it off got to wonder what his own place is smelling or looking like.
The big thing is don't let a friend or family take over your home, abuse privileges or do what ever they want because you might feel guilty, desperate etc. Make sure they show respect for others and call them out for it especially in your own home. Let them know that their status ie family does not give them entitlements. They need to ask for everything so they don't take privileges for granted.