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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Back To The Dance

Posted by: Walkedon August 8, 2018, 10:02 PM
Daughter called begging for help again. I gave her my same answer. Mental hospital and rehab. She agreed to go until she was in the car. I drove her 90 miles to a mental hospital, basically threw her out in the parking lot and burnt rubber getting away.
This is the 7 time in a year that she has been there.
Is this the magic number? I doubt it. But I'll do the dance with the system again. I am thinking about calling her probabtion officer again..jail or rehab

Posted by: NyToFlorida August 8, 2018, 10:26 PM
walked on - I am glad you are hanging in there. even though this must be the toughest thing for you, those are her only choices. in order for her to be able to eventually take care of herself - rehab or hospital is where she has to start. and restart as needed.
unfortunate that it takes such a toll on us family members.

she knows she needs help and you are the only one to help her. As difficult as your role is, maybe she knows you will get the job done. or else she would not call you. maybe she needs you to be the voice of reason.

I saw some one tell Dr. Phil that God uses people as instruments to help others. the man was grateful dr phil helped his daughter. I know I am the only person that was able to help my son go to the hospital to start recovery. If I turned my back he would not have had this chance.

idk how things will be in another month or more.... I hope he stays on the recovery path,. I still have sadness and fear.

It is not easy. my son has stuff to work thru and now started working, which is good, but no time for appointments... not good. idk if he will work thru it or give up again.

Try thinking of this - if this is the cross you have to bear, start making it bearable for you. - which I think you have been doing.

Sorry for rambling....

Posted by: BugginMe August 10, 2018, 10:32 AM
Did your daughter stay there? Sounds like she knows that she needs some help but doesn’t know how to accept it from anyone but you. They depend so much on their mothers but we are just fumbling in the dark. Professionals know what to do and have heard it all. I have found that you have to force them to get trained help and lighten that burden on your shoulders. I think you did the right thing. Being in the car with them, especially a long drive, is very hard. I did eventually stop driving my son to hospitals. It was too dangerous and exhausting for me. I would get the police involved if he was in crisis. They usually kept him 3 days and then he was calling me to come get him. He rarely stayed longer.

Posted by: Walkedon August 10, 2018, 6:51 PM
I received several calls from my daughter telling me she was being discharged ,which was a lie. When she would start her lies I would hang up. Finally this afternoon she called to say she will be going to in patient rehab. She sound both relieved and resigned.
I am glad she is going but hesitant to have hope.
The pysch hospital will take her from their door to the rehab. I'm very glad for that.

Posted by: Walkedon August 12, 2018, 7:09 PM
Just came back from visiting my addict in the pysch ward. She is supposed to go in to rehab next week. I spent two hours listening to manic ramblings..I feel horrible. I don't think she is ready for rehab.I am afraid this will end in another mess. I'm predicting that she will leave rehab. She says she wants to go but in the next breath she says she can't wait to see her dealer.

Posted by: BugginMe August 12, 2018, 7:36 PM
I always hated to visit the psych ward. My son would call and beg me to come. He needed this and that. I would go visit and all he would do is make demands and scream at me. He would get so agitated that the visit was usually cut short. I would leave or staff would end it. Never a pleasant experience. He would threaten me and make ultimatums. He wanted to manipulate me into getting what he wanted. I would be shaken and crying by the time I left. After a while I decided not to visit or take him anything. Sometimes I wouldn’t even answer his calls. I didn’t want to listen to him. I wanted to be supportive and encouraging but all I gave him was the knowledge that I would stand by him no matter what. That was the problem, he didn’t have enough reason to change. Why should he when he had me doing everything for him?

Not every person is the same. Maybe your daughter needs extra encouragement. I visited mine in rehab once (being supportive) and listened to his stories and paranoid ramblings. He walked out not long after that visit. Of course he said something happened and it wasn’t his fault he had to leave. Another big story blaming someone else. He knew he had his momma and didn’t need to do things for himself. I should have stayed away until he had been there a good long time or completed the entire program.

Posted by: Parenting2 August 12, 2018, 9:55 PM
It is tough. My son will be so mean and abusive. Then, when I cut the conversation off, he sometimes will start crying and saying sorry. I have to leave anyway. I used to accept the apology, and within a short time (sometimes 5 minutes) he would be mean and abusive again.

I wish to God I could help him, because he is miserable. But, I can't. I don't what would help him, even if he wanted help.

Sad situation all around. We just have to stay out of the crazies. Not my crazies. I worked hard to have a nice, quiet life with no crazies. I hope he is able to want that someday.

I think it is really dawning on me that he may never get out of this.

Posted by: Walkedon August 13, 2018, 11:29 AM
On a lighter note. While my daughter is away in the pysch hospital some one broke in to her house and cleaned it. Did the dishes, scrubbed the floor,the laundry. Even did some painting...finally a meth head with some direction