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Message Board > Nicotine > Day 110

Posted by: justjane July 12, 2011, 10:23 AM
Hit the early meeting. It was about humility and not being the center of the universe. Wish I could do that. At least now I know what I am striving for. My sponsor told me everyday look in the mirror and say I am just as good as anyone else. When you begin to believe that. Add to it I am better than no one. Alot of times I think I am better. That humbling to admit. It think I am better than my ex husband, my mom, my sister and most of the important relationships in my life. Because I quit using my drug of choice "I am not as sick as them" That is the most untrue thing. I have probably gotten a ltitle sicker and then better and then sicker. Just like everyone else. I read through some of my success stories to see how I have either progressed or stood still in my recovery since bieng on this board. It was intresting to see. I wrote this wich surprised me..
I listen to my intuition and pray and leave my mind open to my possibilities.
I know I don't do that right now. I wonder if I really used to or if I wrote it because it sounded good... Either way. I want to do that again. Open my mind to the possibilites. Lately I have been arranging outcomes. When the truth is I don't know and that is a good thing. I will leave it with God for now.

Posted by: cowgirl July 18, 2011, 11:40 AM
Thanks for the eye opener..I believe that I'm a little stuck. Common? I wonder.

So, you are using the steps to quit smoking? Sigh..I need to do them anyway, might as well make it about something that is actually killing me again.

Thanks Jane and congrats on not proud of you.

Posted by: justjane May 16, 2020, 3:12 PM
110 just got back home from my adventure. The petroglyphs were very cool. It was nice not overly exerting just a drive. Love the reminder in the above posts: for the last month I have been doing regular prayer and meditation and it’s good. I feel like I have been doing the pray and listen thing I feel peaceful inside. I don’t know if I can hear better or if I’m being given direction. I just feel more connected. I am grateful I’m still in this quit I’m not saying I will stay quit. It’s too early for that I can’t say that tell I have 3 years under my belt Simon Elliott that when I relapsed last. It lasted at least 5 years. Just progressing like it does.
Anyway, what a beautiful warm afternoon glad I’m alive And healthy to enjoy it. I’m on my patio in the shade of my umbrella I used to only sit out here to sneak a smoke when my hubby was gone. Feels good amd I feel blessed.
Still SMober and sober