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Message Board > Alcohol > Hi My Name Is Adrian

Posted by: Amari August 25, 2021, 2:12 AM
Hi everyone! I am what I think to be as an alcoholic. I don’t have an alcohol dependency but when I start to drink I can’t stop. I love drinking and I find it comforting to be able to drink after work. Anyone can relate?

Posted by: Ruth__ September 21, 2021, 6:00 AM
Hi Adrian,
I see that you posted this almost a month ago so I don't know if you will check back in but for what it's worth I came to this board over 15 years ago now because when I started to drink I could not stop. Not only that but when I drank chaos would ensue in my personal and professional lives and I got myself into a whole world of trouble hurting the people I loved the most. I drank to fit in, to feel comfortable in my own skin, to escape, to celebrate, to commiserate, get the gist.
I could not imagine a world without alcohol. My 20s were a washout and when I hit my 30s my downward spiral continued in a very dangerous and self defeating way. I came to ARG looking for a miracle. And I found it. I met people who were just like me and drank the way that I drank. I met people who told me "It will get better. Just don't pick up that first drink today". And so I did what they suggested. I started to go to AA meetings where I met even more people going through the same thing. I started working the Steps and I made good friendships with people on this board who literally offered me a lifeline. I even met my first sponsor on this board and I can honestly say that he helped to save my life - emailing every day, supporting, encouraging and calling me out on my bull***t
Today I have 14 years sober. Life still has its challenges, oh boy does it, but I don't have to drink over them. If any of this resonates with you please post back and let us know how you are and how you are getting on. There is a solution.

Posted by: skg September 21, 2021, 8:05 AM
Hello, Adrian.
Only YOU can decide whether you're alcoholic. I'll say that I never thought I was alcoholic and I drank every single day/night. 24/7. And I had a family, career, mortgage, kids, pets, etc. Living the dream, as it were. But I couldn't stop drinking or, when I did, I couldn't stop thinking about starting.
Turns out that is the textbook definition of an alcoholic. A body that can't handle alcohol and a brain that can't leave it alone.
Keep coming back--there are some peeps on this board are willing to help.

Posted by: Ruth__ September 21, 2021, 11:57 AM
Ah's like old times. Only without the alcohol ;)

Posted by: skg September 22, 2021, 11:27 AM
Hi, Ruth. It's been a ride, I'll tell you that! I wonder what others are doing these days? I know Pirate's still doing the deal while facing health issues--sober. I think 24Gordon is living the dream. Adam seems to be staying sober and working the program. Saw that Ginge had posted a while back, as well.

Posted by: pirate September 23, 2021, 4:15 PM
Hi guys.. Good to see you here again..:) Hi Adrian. I hope this article will give you some insight and you can decide from there .

The Phenomenon of Craving
The Big Book on page xxiv (The Doctor's Opinion) says that an alcoholic has an "allergy to alcohol". An
allergy is an abnormal reaction to any food, liquid or substance. If nine out of ten people have one reaction
and one out of ten people have a different reaction, then the reaction of the one out of ten crew is abnormal.
It also says on page xxvi that "the action of alcohol on an alcoholic is a manifestation of an allergy; that the
phenomenon of craving is LIMITED to this class and NEVER occurs in the average temperate drinker." (A
phenomenon is something that you can see but can't explain). "These allergic types can NEVER safely use
alcohol in ANY FORM AT ALL". Then on page 22, "We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from
drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once
he takes ANY ALCOHOL WHATEVER into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental
sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop." This includes substances that contain alcohol
like mouthwash, cold remedies, some chocolates, food prepared with alcohol, etc.). Your body doesn't know
if you are having a drink or taking Nyquil for a cold, it only senses alcohol and begins to process it. It also
says on page xxviii that, "all the different classifications of alcoholics have ONE symptom in common: they
CANNOT start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. This phenomenon may be the
manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity." Dr.
William D. Silkworth, M.D. who at that time had nine years experience specializing in the treatment of
alcoholics and drug addicts, wrote this in the late 1930’s. He called it a "phenomenon of craving" because at
that time there was no way to study metabolism. Since then, science has proven his theory as correct.
The following is an explanation of what happens when alcoholics put alcohol into their bodies, and how it
is a completely different experience compared to non-alcoholics. No wonder why non-alcoholics can't relate,
and make statements like, "Can't you just stop after one or two drinks?" It shows why alcoholics can use
their willpower against everything EXCEPT alcohol.
Alcoholics make up about 12% of the population. The body of the alcoholic is physically different than
the body of someone who is not an alcoholic. The liver and pancreas of the alcoholic process alcohol at
one-third to one-tenth the rate of a normal pancreas and liver. As alcohol enters the body, it breaks down
into its various components, one of which is acetate. We know now that acetate triggers a craving for more
acetate. In a normal drinker, the acetate moves quickly through the system and exits. But that doesn't
happen in an alcoholic. In alcoholics, the acetate of the first drink is barely processed out, so by staying in
their body, it triggers a craving for more acetate. The alcoholic then has a second drink, now adding to most
of the acetate of the first drink, and that makes them want a drink twice as much as the normal drinker. So
they have another. Then, having almost three times the craving as a normal drinker, they have another.
You can see from that point how alcoholics have no control over how much they drink. The craving cycle
has begun and they have no choice but to keep drinking. Once the acetate accumulates in their body, and
that begins to happen with only ONE drink, they will crave another. And how many times does an alcoholic
think it would be nice to have JUST ONE drink to relax, but has many more? Now you see why. AND THIS
On top of THAT (like it's not bad enough already), alcohol is a poison because it destroys human tissue.
The two organs that alcohol damages the most are the liver and the pancreas. So the more the alcoholic
drinks as time passes (or doesn't drink, because the liver and pancreas also deteriorate naturally as we
age), the less their body is able to processes the acetate. THAT is why alcoholism is a progressive, fatal
illness. Bill W. says on page 30, "We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a
progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, NEVER better." Pretty revealing, huh. It
explains many things I never before understood.
But if you think about it, we never have to deal with ANY of this if we DON'T put alcohol into our bodies in
the first place. So the MAIN problem of the alcoholic centers in their mind and in their spiritual condition. My
mind tells me that it's okay to TAKE the first drink and doesn't see that what I'm about to do is harmful
(otherwise known as the alcoholic’s mental obsession or our powerlessness), and if I'm NOT spiritually fit I
can't STAND being sober because my thinking and emotions are too uncomfortable (otherwise known as the
spiritual malady or our unmanageability). So whether they’re drinking or not an alcoholic is powerless over
alcohol, because of the mind and the body; and their life is unmanageable, especially their INNER life,
because of their spiritual condition. Coincidentally, the Steps deal DIRECTLY and EFFECTIVELY with both
our spiritual condition and with the mental obsession. BUT, the way the alcoholic’s body handles alcohol will
ONLY get worse as time passes, so there is NOTHING we can do about the physical feature of alcoholism
except staying away from the first drink.
So that's the simple definition of what it means to be an alcoholic - we can't handle DRINKING (because
of the mental obsession and the physical allergy) and we can't handle NOT drinking (because of the spiritual
Barefoot Bill

Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need