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|Message Board > Other Addictions > Addicted To Porn And Sexting|
|Posted by: Nautilus August 27, 2015, 11:44 PM|
|Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this post. I'll jump right into it by saying I've been addicted to porn for a couple years at least and just recently it has manifested itself into sexting as well.
I know the risks for Sexting are incredible high but I've had an extremely hard time stopping. I've shared pictures with an older lady, where I didn't have to worry about her age, but sending the pictures still felt very wrong. For all I know those pictures are out there on the Internet now...I've also tried Sexting through chat sites and I'm beginng to hate myself for it.
I always take the precautions of asking for age but for all I know they can be lying to me. I realize the risks heavily outweigh satisfying my fix. I'm a paranoid person by nature, and behaving in these manners puts my paranoia over the top. I just want it to end. I waste so much of my days after work watching porn and its cutting into my social life.
I was a pretty late bloomer in my own right, was never really comfortable around girls until the last couple of years (I'm 23) and this is purtting a hinderance on my future. To be honest, im a virgin and I feel like I'm trying to act out through porn to make up for missed time. I'm lazy, have no drive, play video games and watch porn. Think that sums up my life right now.
I have so many goals that I want to work to but I can never find time for them due to porn. Please help me with my addiction guys.
|Posted by: marykat80 August 28, 2015, 12:23 AM|
|Well some people are just obsessive in general and can find almost anything/one to be obsessed with. If that's not you...then good, can rule that part out at least. I'm wondering how addicted you are to video games as well. if you are that may be reason you say you have no drive. Though guessing you do cause your doing something to temporarily satisfy those urges....maybe this isn't my best subject to try and give advice on.. I don't know if you care about meeting anyone, but if you do it's not gonna be sitting around all day watching porn and playing video games you know? Your young!!!...try to get into doing something, some kind of hobby. Keep your mind preoccupied on something and then maybe you will have that drive to meet a chick as well. That's all I got for now|
|Posted by: Nautilus August 28, 2015, 1:27 AM|
|Appreciate the advice. I wouldn't say the video games are as big of a problem as the porn. Video games become a problem when I tell myself I'm only going to play for 30 minutes and end up playing for 4 hours. Also, I think I put too much pressure on myself when I do go out. Pretty vicious cycle.|
|Posted by: Anonymous Sexaholic December 9, 2015, 9:30 AM|
I know the hell you are through.
Have you tried this one: www.sa.org ?
Through this fellowship I got a new life.
|Posted by: MyMensGroup717 May 24, 2016, 2:50 PM|
|It really comes down to greed in my mind. Addiction is all about greed. I'm going to numb underlying issues I have on my terms, by myself, when I want and how I want. I'm going to self-medicate with porn, lust, masturbation, affairs, anonymous sex, food, whatever. It's all about dealing with it all by myself though. It feels safe, no risk of rejection, easier than interacting with someone face to face in a healthy and appropriate relationship, etc.
While it's easy to focus on the behavior (looking at porn or masturbating) or focus on the means of delivery (phone, internet, movies, etc.) I found the key to recovery is getting at the underlying issues and root causes (for me the biggies were rejection, shame, perfectionism, lack of self-compassion, fear, etc.) where I tend to want to self-medicate or employ coping mechanisms (porn, masturbation, affairs, cyber sex, lust, etc.). I like to think that it's similar to when you have a bad cold. There is some value in focusing on the cold's symptoms (runny nose, cough, fever, etc.). Meaning if you have a runny nose you get tissues or a cough you need to decide what cough drops to buy. Take an aspirin or use a cold compress for the fever. However, to really get over it you need to get at the root of the cold. You might need to see a doctor or take antibiotics. We can't get too focused on which brand of tissues to buy or which cough drops work the best. That's only part of the solution.
While working through those underlying issues (a counselor or trained therapist is probably your best bet to help you do that) you also need to retrain your brain to turn to appropriate and healthy ways of interacting with real people. Right now your neural pathways have been established and produce rewards in the pleasure center of the brain (release of dopamine)from inappropriate actions. You need a reboot. A detox. Then as you interact with a support network of safe men that are real and open and honest who will listen to you as you cry out when in pain or need you will build new pathways. Instead of going online to soothe in those times I found you need to reach out and be vulnerable with another human being (and not someone anonymous online).
As you work at forging real, healthy and authentic relationships you can slowly create a new habit to replace the old inappropriate way of coping. Will it take time? Yes. Will you stumble and fall? Unfortunately, that is more than likely. I lead a men's support and accountability group and it happens to the best of us. But, if you do fall down think of it like a cross country match. If you fall down on the course they don't make you go back to the starting line and begin the race all over again. You simply get up where you are, dust off and keep on going. The mantra for all of us in recovery is this. It's about progress. Not perfection.
For the support group I lead we put together a website of all the materials that we share each week as discussion starters. There are tons of great book and article excerpts, links and even videos on there that you might find useful on your journey. They are the things that our group has found the most beneficial in the recovery process.
If you want to check it out it's at http://www.mymensgroup.net
Blessings to you on this road to recovery!
Blessings to you as you seek to reboot your brain, heal, grow and ultimately recover!
|Posted by: kickaddictionnow March 8, 2017, 1:51 PM|
|I have put together a blog that handles porn addiction effectively ; its causes, signs, effects and how to get rid of it.
If you want to check it out it's at https://kickaddictionnow.com