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|Message Board > Pain Pills > 12 Days Sober|
|Posted by: MassMan06 June 16, 2018, 4:35 PM|
|I have used percocet/oxy on and off for the past 12 years. I have intermittent periods of sobriety for as short as a few days to as long as 6 month. I've decided to get COMPLETELY clean this year and thus far it's been a difficult but encouraging process.
January: I didn't use at all
February: I relapsed mid-month and used daily thereafter
March: I used nearly daily
April: I was able to be sober for the last 2 weeks
May: I used approximately 4 days a week
June: I decided to quit for good this month and I am basically 2 weeks clean
I am writing here today because as you can likely see I am RIGHT THERE in terms of quitting for good and I know I can pull through but those old thoughts of "just one won't hurt..." and "you can only use it today, it won't affect work..." are beginning to creep in and honestly I am scared.
I LOVE using, the way it makes me feel, the ease it brings to interfacing with life, the enjoyment it brings to experiences BUT it is killing me. I function at a subpar level. I waste so much money. I don't really experience anything. I have so many goals, dreams and aspirations and the only thing holding me back is these f***in pills (excuse my language).
I don't have a support group for recovery because no one knows (or at least has said anything to me about it) so I am hoping to build that group here.
Thank you all for reading and I wish you the best in your journey.
|Posted by: marykat80 June 20, 2018, 11:59 PM|
|Massman, do you have anyone you feel you can confide in? Hopefully someone that understands. It's also very possible people had suspicion even if you hid well. So might be more understanding. If you choose not to join a support group of any kind. Join something else, some kind of activity to stay happy and busy.
Btw..don't worry about language it gets f***ing censored anyway!!! :)
|Posted by: MassMan06 June 21, 2018, 10:16 PM|
|No, not really, does it really make a difference, people knowing? I just feel like I want to put this s*** behind me...
Still sober so, that's an achievement. Got into an argument today but I wasn't really upset. Usually that would be an excuse to use but I'm not...
I generally fill my time with working out. I start additional training tomorrow so, I'm excited and focus.
My life is beginning to fall back into place, slowly but I'm looking forward to the future.
Thanks for responding Mary Kay, it means a LOT, I was starting to think nobody reads this, lol... peace
|Posted by: marykat80 June 23, 2018, 8:55 PM|
|Yeah...not saying anounce to everyone including the mailman! But yeah..it may or may not help. For me personally it did, as I was much more irritable to say the least..also needing a little help with my kid. I'm lucky I had that option. So..everyone's situation is different. You know best how people close to you would react. And nothing to be ashamed of since you are making huge improvements. Keep working out and stay posted :)|
|Posted by: sally4 June 25, 2018, 1:10 PM|
|yes its day 3 without Norco.Im wake up thinking of them all wanting them. But ran out 5 days early. Its wasn't really bad no bad w/d at all just thinking of them all the time like missing my best friend.I've Have a appetite somewhat .ate sub sandwich than Chile homemade for 5 days.so wouldn't have to cook.Im 63 years old live in a nice townhouse have cash have my dogs and hubby.nice car.never buy off the streets just get 112-10 Norco a mouth. But hubby gets 180 7.5,325,so we share ..but I run out 4 days early not all the time but sometimes. I do take clonazepam for sleep(1mg) per night I have no anxiety or sweats nothing just little curving of pills and sadness.no motativation.so there you have it been on them for pain. For 17 years. Passed all drug test.I take around 4 to6 a day of mine and 7 of my hubbys.I like they way they make me feel don't get real high I take every 4 hours but I take extra one at times that makes me run out, god you think I learn. But tell myself the w/d aren't that bad. There really not but just noeing my happy pill is not there makes me unmotivated,,,pill to eat pill to make dinner pills to go on vacation. You no the deal.sad,,the sad part I get them Friday again. Guess I will never stop .the thing is isolation is the demon. I do things but stay in my room a lot tv computer play with my dogs..no friends ..ok|
|Posted by: MassMan06 August 28, 2018, 11:11 PM|
|Just a quick update...
I'M STILL SOBER!!!!... 83 days or so, I don't really like counting it feels like a reminder of my addiction and I don't want it to be a part of my life.
I no longer think about using that much and I rarely if ever miss them. I am working on me now and I'm so happy.
My life is a 1000% better... I've lost 25 lbs and gotten a new apartment sense getting clean. I've really grown...