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Message Board > Recovery Diaries > The Fog Has Lifted


Posted by: Wehrsteve December 17, 2016, 5:35 AM
I had surgery in 2005 and was given hydros for the pain. Started liking how I felt when I was on them and it was controlling my pain too. Dr was giving me 180 hydros a month. That went on for 8 years. By now I was so disgusted with my self and ashamed, for letting it get this bad. I wasalso trying to get them from hospitals, family, friends and the streets. I was walking through the darkest time of my life. When I had them life was the best! But when I didn't, then I'd call out from work and lay around all day, trying to figure out a way to get some. Withdraws were hell. Restless leg syndr, hot/cold flashes, flu like symptoms, runny nose, NO SLEEP!!!!
I've tried quitting many times, but no luck. Fixing to be homeless, my family moved me westewestern states. Got me enrolled in a suboxone clinic. I was on it for a year. I started tapering off after about 6 months. Till finally it was my last day to take them. NOW I still had the fear of not being able to cope with life without it. Next 2 days almost no withdrawals. The third day, tons of energy. I quit completely on Feb 24 2015. I've been clean for almost 2 years!!! I realized when the 8 year fog had lifted, that I could cope with life again. LIFE has been getting better since then. I WAS LIVING MY LIFE AGAIN!!!