10yrs Using. 3mos Clean. Stress Causes Relapse.
Posted: November 29, 2016, 11:23 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: November 23, 2016

Ive been using for the past 10 years, i have a very long story & history that would take days to type out. I just started the MMT program almost 3 months ago. Im 5'0 & 100lbs (at the moment) at 70mgs of methadone. I still have cravings. i want to use all the time. My household has my dad who is an alcoholic and his new girlfriend who is also an alcoholic. My mom left my dad June of 2015 due to abuse in every single way possible. Hes been abusing me mentally and emotionally my entire life, and now that my moms gone and reality is starting to really kick in, hes even more mean and mentally & emotionally abusive towards me. He knows i am a heroin addict, an knows that i am doing the MMT program trying my hardest to stay clean. I got into a car accident the other day and now have no transportation back & forth to the clinic. I dont get take homes until February 2017. Its s hard for me to live here and not use. I cant take the abuse & the drama from him, let alone the drama him & his girlfriends cause/get into while their both s*** faced drunk. I live in Sacramento, CA. Ive been doing guided meditation, and that is helping a little bit, but not much. I dont want to break my sobriety, im scared im going to. Anyone have any suggestions on how i can clear my head when im going thru this s***? Any options to do something other than use? im about to crack, & im very scared. i know if i crack, i wont want to stop doing it. Im scared as hell. I dont have any friends who support me, they would rather do drugs, my husband doesnt get out of prison until November 2017, my mom is to far away, & my dad doesnt see what hes doing to me,nor will he take the time to notice, listen or care. i talk to my counselor, but thats only once a week. I need sone suggestions, some help, something????
Posted: November 29, 2016, 9:28 PM

Posts: 1759
Joined: June 27, 2016

go to meetings, a sponsor will pick you up? people will help those who are trying and clean.
do what ever you can to live in a clean sober, drama free environment.
live at a sober living home - a good one where you would have support. see the tabs at the top here - find treatment, programs and resources, beyond recovery.....

find an organization where you can work and volunteer in exchange for room and board. Such as an ashram. keep searching by internet and by word of mouth until you find a situation that works.

Posted: December 13, 2016, 10:31 AM

Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015

Call any treatment facility in your area and find out about resources available to you. Our community has an organization that helps people get to meetings. If they don't have housing, they can help with that, etc...
Don't use your current environment as an excuse to not stay clean. Stay clean in spite of it. I don't know how old you are but if you're an adult, you should do what you can to get out of that house and the abuse.
Good luck.

Posted: July 18, 2017, 8:40 AM

I know this is old but it caught my eye as your post could have been
Mine- my story is
Sooooo similar. And I'm in sacramento as well! If you ever want to get together to chat, let me know.
Posted: April 26, 2020, 6:16 AM

You are absolutely right. In it something is and it is excellent idea. It is ready to support you.
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