4/28/07 Twenty Years Clean Today.....
Posted: April 28, 2007, 3:42 AM

Posts: 182
Joined: January 19, 2007

Just wanted to post this to mark the occasion..

it has been 20 years to date since my last drink or joint....i was a pretty heavy hitter...never thought i could stop or would want to...attempted suicide twice...almost successful the second time but someone found me...

lost a lot of sober friends in the passing years...always thought they were much stronger and more deserving of staying alive than myself but i guess they had to test the waters 'just one more time' and they failed to resurface.

lost my youngest brother age 29 to the disease of addiction....another friend of mine...shunned by family and friends decided to jump from the ninth floor of a welfare hotel in NYC....another O.D. on valium and heroin...the list goes on and on...

i am Army veteran and there were quite a number of Vietnam Vets in my various recovery groups...and a number of them expressed their feelings of guilt having survived that horrible war while many of their good friends died over there and had so much more to come home too.

i am clean but of late not really sober in a sense that i haven't attended meetings for a long time and it makes me feel like those guilt ridden returning Vietnam Vets....i don't know why i haven't chosen to drink or drug for 20 years and far better than me have lost their precious lives to addiction..

sorry to sound like a bummer but i just wanted someone
to know that if you just take it a day at a time and accept the
fact that absolutely nothing will be changed or healed by a drink
or a drug...then so too for you...20 days will turn into 20 years

thanx for listening luv MARY
Posted: April 29, 2007, 3:39 AM

Posts: 182
Joined: January 19, 2007

thank you all for the congrats...i just wish my youngest brother was still alive to share the continuing journey ahead with me...but i know that he and all the other loved ones that we have lost to the struggle of addiction...are with us still...helping us stand tall today and there to catch us if we fall into tomorrow..

God bless you all....love MARY

p.s. to the Moderators..please feel free to copy my thread on to
the Recovery milestones forum if you so choose...

This post has been edited by MARY :) on May 1, 2007, 4:13 AM
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