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Im Done!!!!!

Posts: 3
Joined: April 2, 2007

Posted: April 2, 2007, 5:40 AM
I turned 12, smoked 15 some coke and I did get addicted to OxyContin, At age 17 they finally figured out that I was bipolar (the reason I was so up and down and different from everyone else) by 17 I was doing 200mg of Oxy a day, really expensive where I live to. Smoked crack alot to cause the rush I thought was unbeatable. My dad died (Im an only child, he was my best friend), I really did lose everything.. never thought life would be good again. I dropped my Oxy habit and started shooting heroin. I ended up turning myself into a regular felony a day criminal. Finally got caught with a gun, my mom found an AK that I was trying to sell so I could get some pills and crack. She saved my life at that point. Went to jail, court ordered to go to a 60 day inpatient. Did that, and when I got out I met my first girlfriend ever, the first girl that I liked that liked me. She was my new drug, nothing could be better. We were going out since Nov 16th.. on Feb 28th they made me complete my sentencing because they thought a 60 day inpatient wasnt fair enough for possesion of a firearm. Went into jail at the prime with this girl. Her mom wouldnt let her talk to me at all, but told me I could still be friends when I got out. So on March 18th I called my mom because thats the day my dad died last year... Amanda called my mom to tell her that we were gonna have to part ways basically cause of her mom. I got out 5 days later, March 23rd. Went and got high that night on some pills and crack (never thought Id go back to it cause I had Amanda). Did the same the next day, then the day after that I tried meth for the 2nd time. I thought I found the best drug in heroin cause it was cheap and took away all my anxiety from being bipolar. I smoked meth and was instantly addicted, instantly filled with "this is the best, I never thought anything could be this good". Its way too cheap, gets you high for way too long, and it will quickly ruin your life. 5 days after smoking it for the second time I did something I never thought I'd do. I threw away the dope and crushed my pipe.. I knew that if I didnt do that, I'd be back in jail cause I wasnt about to keep the pipe and stop that day or the next. Doing meth finally made me realize that I cant do any drug cause from here on out I'm just gonna want meth. Thats how addicting it is for me. I never liked uppers, I liked numness and passing out... I know now that a drug is a drug is a drug like they say in treatment. I always kept progressing to better and better drugs, never did meth cause it wasnt in my crowd.. but never the less, trying it and then 5 days later wanting to throw it away cause it got me so high. Thats something to not f*** with. I always doubted meth cause the people who do it only do meth, thats cause theres nothing better if your really looking for that best high.. and whats f***ed up even more.. theres no peak, once you get high you stay that high, 5 hours later take the same amount you took before and thats as high as you get, YOU HAVE FUN STARING AT A WALL FOR TWO HOURS.. after you realize what your having fun at.. its like "This is gonna definently ruin my life" I know it would to me if I went back just one time..meth takes everything from you and gives nothing back except disapointment and regret. I might be 19, but I've been a few places. Never thought I'd tell myself "You cant ever get high again" Thanks meth, you made me never wanna get high again.

Posts: 4
Joined: July 20, 2010

Posted: July 20, 2010, 11:30 PM
Hello Spencer, how have you been its been a long time since you wrote this message and i hope you view my reply. i am in recovery now myself and i only have 2 weeks clean feel like a moth though. I liked your message because it was informative and I think that the person that suppied me was diving me meth. I didnt want that but crack was my addiction. so it keep me going even longer plus i started to notice how much he would pay for the quanity that was questionable. i was so weak then that i didnt care cause it was something. i remember the part when you saidd that you would have fun looking at the wall and it made me upset because i dont do uppers and i felt up this time but i thought it was because i hated my situation and i use laughing and music and having fun talking to myself as a way to say f*** them or it (what ever was going on). You made me realize my suspion of using meth was true but i felt bad at the realization of that it was just the high it wasnt me.

i hope you are still sober or taking it one day at a time and if amanda was the beat I hope now you guys have a chance to reconnect if thats what you want. one day at a time and I wish you more than good luck I wish you happy days forever Luv Brandy.!!!

Posts: 1
Joined: February 28, 2011

Posted: February 28, 2011, 3:13 PM
Hello, First I want to say hang in there and no matter how bad things get in life always remember that there is something good in everything bad, it,s all about you looking for it.. I am very proud of you for being done, Just know that no matter how bad your days are nothing is as bad as your yesterdays. I became clean in 1992 and I must tell you it took me 3 attempts at detox, once for my mom , once for my boyfriend and the last time I went it was for ME, and that was in 1992.. Hang in there every day you will learn something new everyday , some good and some bad, but to an active drug user there is litte or no good in his day's... so stay strong and know that your not alone, your actions alone have people loving you for who you are and have become....
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