My Recovery And My Mission
Posted: February 18, 2015, 2:02 AM

Posts: 6
Joined: February 17, 2015

Today am feeling overwhelmed with the actual facts that I want to beat this disease...
am so torn between worlds, I was introduce to the Meth world two years ago my life has not been the same since then..
I once was a woman who's voice roared and people listened and admired me for my strength my step was always secure that made the floor tremble... I was not easy to persuade and always a great leader...
I was robbed from my identity due to Meth... it robbed me blind and right in front of my face...
all of sudden am not thinking am acting differently evil thoughts of how to get more.. I stopped working.. and eventually I lost everything including myself... my sexual appetite became distorted
am not gay but it opened windows that made me believe i wanted to be... I saw things that were not there and I believed that they were...
now am here wanting for that nightmare to dissapear... but i know its not..
my relationships have been effected by me not being able to trust a man again and throwing myself like i dont matter or care when i use to take my time and enjoy love now i only want the sex and deep inside i want them to use with me... but NO!!!!! I will fight to feel love again
and stop not caring about me, I desire to be normal again.... i realize I need help to be able to understand what am going through and that i have to stop all my habbits because they lead me back to the path of meth..
so i went to an AA meeting and am going to fight to be happy... I could only blame myself for my actions so I could only fix my self from my problems..
Love will eventually come my way when am ready I feel terrible for the men that have crossed my path trying to love me and me being a total psycho I hope they understand my struggles and that I really dont mean to be so insane... my promise to myself is too quit everything and share my experience of recovery to the new members that battle against addiction..
God gave me a second chance in life our lives are worth more than what we give ourselves credit for my life has been a miracle.. my childhood was awful I have two parents that got lost in the world of drugs, I have family members that struggle with the addiction, I lost the potential of a husband that I loved, i have my sweet angel baby girl that I have to be a better example too, I have alot of reasons to fight against all the drugs and if you know me am a hell of a fighter.... I am all heart and passionate about my journeys in life this one is the one am not going to loose for all the souls, that were lost and no one was there to help... this mission is not going to be easy but it will be worth it..
join my movement to end this pain for future children like myself... that were robbed from their childhood and surpass painful experiences
and for women like me that lived it again and about destroyed many lives..
may we not be ignorant to the facts that it will reach our children an love ones its really funny when you see but once it happens to you or a love one that laugh will turn upside down....
lets make the world a better place by not giving kids easy access to liquor stores and being oblivious that we just do it for the money... lets be more human and actually move mountains together, to see a better tomorrow.... dont ignore pain be about it!!!
have more libraries for the children to be able to find other escapes than alcohol and drugs really make a difference and care about the actual meaning of life its to live, we represent America the greatest nation of all how can we stand tall while we let our people die in front of our eyes and not lift a finger to help but yet we use that finger to point and laugh at peoples pain ..... this can be your sister.. brother... mother you name it this people on the street struggling to eat were once people of our nation good f***ing people that struggled and everyone walked over them and let them get lost for a dollar.... make the difference for me feel my pain as an abandoned child that lost everything feel my pain as a single mother trying to keep it together... feel my pain of mending my broken pieces by actually moving and doing more for our nations... we are one like they say it in the streets if one goes in we all go in....
thats how i see our nation prospering lets go in for a good cause and get drugs of our streets and children...I am a natural born leader... I dont follow I lead am leading this path to a new and better America this is my people and I will not be a f***ing by standard I will move and conquer and other nations will follow my good deed because the struggle is real and its harsh!!
to my babies in the world I will make this a happy place for you to enjoy!!
to the people that have struggled and addiction and recovered help others
to the people that have not struggled put the shoe on and have a heart and help others
to the people that are struggling and cant see the light see my smile to guide you you can f***ing do it..
to society that only cares about money make money by helping others destroy businesses that make people achieve habbits make businesss that make people achieve dreams and make businesses for America making people prosper!

just like me i could of been lost and am here now prospering to make America better and aware
ignite people for better not for self destruction if you know an alcoholic and you see him on the streets and he goes to your store to buy more dont sell some people learn the hard way dont be a product of that self destruction it will come back and bite you..
you never know who you can be helping the next Michael Jordan, Oprah, Jim Carrey, Prince,
Whitney Houston
think about it!!
I have I seen the potential that this people have!
I once was normal and drug free myself I had a vivid dream when i was a little girl I' ve said it a million times that I was going to battle the devil and it was going to take more than praying I feel that am finally living my dream am battling the devil in drug form this is the representation of my dream...
I do have special powers you can believe me or not but the truth be told that I have been chosen for a purpose and this is it!!

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