Kazzyae's Recovery
Posted: April 26, 2010, 3:00 AM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Hi. I have been sober 14 days now. Since crashing my car, escaping unhurt, and replacing my vehicle, I await the court hearing and loss of licence.

Iam working hard, on call right now and glad to be with a car at the moment.

I have disgraced my family and myself.

I do not know what will happen because it will be a long 6 months with no licence and a 35 km journey to and from work.
I have just been rereading mumnmors diary and can see how it is for a parent. I am full of remorse and regret.

At least I have a few hours more sober than I had a while go.


I deserve the punishment but my family do not.

This post has been edited by kazzyrae on April 27, 2010, 6:06 PM
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Posted: April 27, 2010, 6:08 PM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Day 16 and I have enjoyed life more than ever.

My court summons came in the mail yesterday and it happens to be on one of my rostered days off. Another godincidence?

I await the outcome.

The group here are very good at keeping the fear of relapse real and I cannot afford for that to happen.

My family depend on it.

Hopefully, I will be strong and sensible and keep the 24 rolling around.
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Posted: May 19, 2010, 8:07 AM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Day 37 and a few meetings later, lots of reading, AA based, and a heap of self searching.

Lots of growth, steps forward.. The steps are working and I am up to 8 and have successfully managed repair of several close people.

I am stronger, learning boundaries and learning to love myself as well.

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Posted: June 5, 2010, 5:08 PM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



I went and had a 3 day blitz. Why? Life was so wonderful and I blew it.


Starting again.
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Posted: June 18, 2010, 6:51 PM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Days later with a lot of successes. I had son 1's 18th birthday celebrations yesterday and it went really well with my mum participating with everyone. it was fabulous as we all got along , even though she left straight after dinner.The WII was unavailable because the cats had chewed the cable so we played board games which were more fun than the Xbox. Lottle J, his girlfriend's littlest sister, happily played lego all night.

I have been blessed.

I am continuing on this road.
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Posted: August 22, 2010, 5:08 AM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Ups and downs and with the programme. I need help with parenting my teenage sons but things are getting better on the whole.
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Posted: December 9, 2010, 4:50 PM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Day 2 of serious recovery. I haven't slept much- the boys watched a late movie and just as I fell asleep the crazy cat landed himself on me. He has just been doing bog laps to make me feed him.

Anyway I hope to talk to someone today from rehab and get started on getting better . I can see myself self medicating with alcohol to appease feelings. I have much more insite now as I have been able to empathise with so many of you hear on different boards.

Praying to my HP for a successful day.

K
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Posted: December 11, 2010, 4:08 AM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Day 3 and back to full power again. i shopped, cooked for the week, cleaned the house and washed another 4 loads ( I am sure my boys have clothes breeding in the wardrobes) and now have enjoyed reading posts from all over the boards. The BB is here too and I have been reading it again. Yesterday I Read Living in Sobriety as well as a heap of other interesting facts to help keep sober, repair poor old livers and keep happy. I am praying to my HP morning and night that I will be sober just for today.

I am also happy that I have someone to "buddy" in repairing. Chloe and Fleur did this type of thing for their addiction. It was so good to read how their journey went from "09 to now with newcomers joining them as well.

Just weaning off the AD. Do't need it anyhow,

Thank you God and everyone here too.
K
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Posted: December 25, 2010, 10:38 AM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



I have been off the ADs for over a week now-almost 2- and last Sun the ringing in my ears stopped and the cotton wool in my head disappeared.

I have been happily busy as at work, been able to win some battles with the boys and have totally cleaned the house and yard for Christmas. Speaking of Christmas, I have just spent today cooking 3 types of roast ( from 7am as it was 39 degrees today)) and had prepared the veges, salad, cauli/ broccoli cheese so we all sat down to eat lunch at 12.30. We had ham and eggs for breakky too.

I am on call now and 'til 0730 27.12.10. I am waiting for son 1 to come home from P's house and if I do get called, will be happy not sad about it.

I have had a lovely reaceful day. Mum still returns to her opinion that the boys 1 and 3 are evil and she is depressed about their opinions. I have prayed that she will be happy at her sister's and also for myself to let go and let God so that I don't end up swallowed by her anger, grief, past issues.

A wonderful week in the end although it certainly didn't start that way.

Merry Christmas :)

K
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Posted: December 31, 2010, 7:32 PM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



I haven't been sober the last week. I am very ashamed to confess to my ARG family this shocking fact.My HP is telling me to man up because that is not living.

I am totally powerless over alcohol. My mum saved me from myself last night and now I am sobering up.About jolly time to make this my last drunk.Spectaculary my worst occasion and it has to be my last.

Life is too insane for me and everyone . Prayers my way please.

K

This post has been edited by kazzyrae on December 31, 2010, 8:00 PM
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Posted: January 3, 2011, 3:44 AM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Hello all. I have now got to day 3 again but with a different thought pattern this time.

I have already had the opportunity to broach the subjects on my NY resolutions. Son 1 has had his approach to my house pointed out as innappropriate and he has outgrown this nest. Son 2 has to get himself a job instead of sleeping in until all hours these long holidays . If not, he will not get the new computer he wants but does not need.

Son 3 has to clean up his act, otherwise he can spend some time with his father. He has already started to behave better and offer to help. Small steps but possible because I prepared my debates before they began and stuck to my guns.

I need to rebuild my relationships with these headstrong young men and will not cave in. Sobriety allows that.

I have this week of leave and it is ssooooooooooooooooooooooohot that i cannot do much outside due to the heat. I will use this site when I can (sons have gobbled up my download capacity on silly facebook).

I pay all the bills, work 2 jobs and do everything around the home and yard. About time things changed to make these young men independant so I will.

Kazz from ozz who is changing lives first, mine then others close to me.

This post has been edited by kazzyrae on January 3, 2011, 3:45 AM
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Posted: January 9, 2011, 6:05 PM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



Good morning dary. I The past week I have got so much more in touch with my HP. I have had the difficult talks with my sonos and mother. I also have been a busy beaver to clean the shed, scrub the house inside and out, managed to get mum's internet on, my doors ordered to tidy up my house and replace 4 internal ones.

I have been in the day. on 2 had a big computer gaming day which enabled him and his friends to learn so much putting on this community event !

I look forward to a solid week of work, calm organisation and mainly, living in the moment of each day.

Day 10 today with a new lot of synapses inside my cranium making it so much easier to work a solid programme.

K
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Posted: January 25, 2011, 9:20 PM


Posts: 1189
Joined: December 29, 2009



A while since my last entry. My GP has put me on naltrexone to help aavert the cravings. Hope it helps. I am mixing up my daily routine too to change my brain and avoid the triggers.

Working on step 4 is very humbling too.

cioa from kazz from ozz
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