Posted: April 15, 2020, 10:30 AM

Posts: 3070
Joined: January 11, 2006

79 days. Lets see... The days are going good. I woke up singing that old Country song... Coffee black-cigarette start this day like all the rest. I also saw a guy smoking as I was driving to work and I want one. Today I know its just a want. I dont always get what I want and what I want is not always good for me. I am in the process of rewiring my brain. There is no harm neccesarily in one cigarette its just my story that it never stops there and I know that. In my inner most self I know that. That doesn't mean my mind doesn't try to convince me one more time. Its just absolutely relentless.. The good thing is its not a strong craving that I can't see beyond. Right now I can see it for what it is- a thought.
Pandemic is still raging on. My life hasn't changed much just going to work and going home. Maybe 3 other people total in my building. Two are upstairs and the other is on the clear other side of the office. So I just put on my music make my daily entries and get to work. Life is ok.
Still SMober & Sober. Hit an Alanon meeting last night. Hitting an international AA Womens Meeting tonight that I was invited to. Meeting with an Al-anon sponsee at noon over zoom. Met with an AA sponsee on campus, outdoors and social distanced yesterday to go over some of her 9th step stuff. Staying active in my programs is helping me stay out of myself. I trust that God is working in the back ground to find me a sponsor *hint, hint God. hahahha!

My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins

Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."

"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen

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