Day 5
Posted: August 6, 2014, 1:11 PM


Posts: 2945
Joined: January 11, 2006



So my sponsor suggested I quit on August 1st. So I went with it. On July 31st. Just over a month after my sister died, as a result of the disease of addiction, I went to her grave. I wrote her a letter and I read it to her I took my cigarette smoked it with her burned the letter and said the 3rd step and 7th step prayer. I've been doing pretty well. Today has been a little tougher than the rest. I heard Freebird by Lynard Skynard on the way to work and it made me cry like crazy. I've just wanted a smoke ever since. I guess that means that the withdrawl from the emotional part of it is kicking in. Smokes have always been my tear stopper. You can't smoke and cry, it just doesn't work that well. At least not for me. I don't know why I want to stop crying, its part of the grieving and healing process. I hit a meeting last night. It was on the 8th tradition. It just boiled down to grateful that I don't have to pay to hit a meeting. I know people there are genuine and care. I have some place to go when I feel like crap. I don't know why I shared that. Whatever... I just got to make it through the next couple of hours. I can do that. All this is , is mild discomfort. I kinda feel like if my sister could have managed a few months of discomfort she might still be here. I know the disease of addiciton is incredibly strong and fighting off that need is one of the hardest thigns I have ever done. I've lost all I want to loose from the disease, part of me thought that if I quit then I wouldn't have to loose more. I was wrong. It still took something very precious from me. I can't stop that. I am powerless over death. I guess I wont smoke no matter what Just today. I dont' know if someone is listening out there but thanks for taking the time. Again. . . Maybe this time will stick.
Love and respect,
Jane

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My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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Posted: August 7, 2014, 4:17 AM


Posts: 6231
Joined: January 5, 2008



Hi justjane...hugsssssssssssssss. It will get better. Please try and keep up the determination to win this battle.. I have been smoke free for 19 months now. There are still times when thoughts of smoking come in my mind but they are cancer sticks and they destroy lungs (they were destroying mine) and so I don't romance any thoughts of what it would be like when those thoughts come. It might help if you write a list of the reasons why you quit and when smoking thoughts come read your list to help find some strength to go on without a cig. Tobacco is NOT worth dying over and death from lung cancer is a horrid way to go. I was diagnosed with early stage copd and I did not want to live my life hooked to an oxygen bag or with tubes in my nose which would have happened if I continued to smoke.. I would tell myself that maybe that next cig if I were to take it would be the one that could start the cancer. Many many people have quit smoking and you are no different than anyone else. You can do it too. Please watch this video....You are worth more than doing that kind of harm to yourself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu0zYK2sAa8


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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
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Posted: August 18, 2014, 2:50 PM


Posts: 2945
Joined: January 11, 2006



It didn't work.

--------------------
My success story

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.
Human beings have the awesome ability
to take any experience of their lives
and create a meaning that disempowers them
or one that can literally save their lives.

- Anthony Robbins


Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says,
"This is going to take more than one night."


"Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen


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David
Posted: June 5, 2015, 11:19 AM







Jane
It didn't work this time.
Time to start again!
You can do it!
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Posted: June 16, 2015, 4:54 AM


Posts: 2
Joined: June 16, 2015



hi All

i'm a smoker too.

just got off heavy painmeds as I have chronic pains and arthritis all over my body, each joint and knuckle. I'm 39.

decided to turn my life around as I have been sick due to pain, in and out hospitals for the last 3 years, and finally kicked the meds. so now taking the bulls by the horns.

but smoking has been part of my life since I was 10 years old.

tried a ew times, and lasted three days.

in Belgium where I live, our medical aid actually supports it, and covers the costs to quite smoking, they have a program or something.

gonna give it a shot and see if it works.

trick is being positive and believe.

Jordi
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