Relapse
lee
Posted: May 21, 2012, 7:48 AM







im 39 years old ive spent over 20 years mainly smoking weed cigerettes and drinking booze , and other drugs weed every day booze most days
i am now just over 5 YEARS CLEAN stopped drinking,smoking, smoking weed had nothing at all and i mean nothing just tea and coffee 1825 days clean at least however for the last couple of days i want to have a party relapse so bad i want a bottle of malibu cans of coke and some tobacco so bad i dont want any weed though half of me wants to go back to oblivion i feel like i am back in hell again i am not bored i have plenty of things to do i am writing a sci fi novel i have a back log of tv show boxets i am watching breaking bad and babylon for example so i am busy al the time i have plenty of housework to do as well so it is not boredom i feel i want to do it again as a one one but i kno it wont be a ne off i have mental health issues i need something to take the edge off prozac is not cutting it been on it daily years manic depression any help would be appreiacated pleas dont say get a sponsor i dont trust people thanks lee
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lee
Posted: May 21, 2012, 12:05 PM







all the meetings i want to go to aa and so on are all at night and i have no car and i would get panic attcks being out at night i have not been out at night for 17 years any suggestions?
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Posted: May 21, 2012, 12:06 PM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



You posted this on the nicotine board Lee, so I'm assuming it's cigarettes that you have relapsed on? Or is that you want too? I'm a little confused. If you're feeling this way after 5 years, something's not working in your life and you need to do some soul searching to find out what it is.

I can't tell you any other way to do than to go to meetings, either AA or NA, because that's all I know how to do when nothing else makes sense in my life. I have to talk to people who know where I am and where I've been.

You can keep posting here, it does help to talk here and get feedback but maybe try the alcohol board or pain pill board..lots more people read there.

Whatever it is, it isn't worth losing 5 years over. Get some help buddy. Talk to someone.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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lee
Posted: May 21, 2012, 3:07 PM







i have no one to take me to aa i live in uk my nearest meeting is 1 hour by bus away at night i live in small town I HAVE NOT RELAPSED YET I WNAT TO SMOKE TOBACCO AND DRINK RUM AND COKE i am still 5 years clean
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Posted: May 22, 2012, 11:43 AM


Posts: 20396
Joined: February 12, 2004



It's good that you haven't relapsed..the first thought of doing it isn't your fault, the second is. Do you have anyone close to you that you can talk too? If you can't get to meetings, what about counseling? Have you thought about why you want to drink and smoke? What is going on in your life right now that you think smoking and drinking will make that better? Is losing your clean time really worth that?

Please, post on the alcohol board. There are so many wonderful people over there who can walk you through this.

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I used Drugs to forget, I got clean to remember.
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